Help with "Accidents"

Updated on May 07, 2007
B.E. asks from Waverly, MN
8 answers

My daughter is 3 1/2 and has been potty trained since December. Recently she has started wetting her pants on a daily basis or wetting the bed. I am stressed about this because she really had no problems before. She decided that she did not want to wear pull-ups anymore and that was it, until now..... I dont want to get mad at her or punish her, I think that would make it worse, but I really need some help trying to figure out ways of dealing with this constructively.

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C.L.

answers from Duluth on

My daughter is also 3 1/2 and has an occasional accident. If she wets the bed, I don't make a big deal about it. I just double sheet (and plastic sheet) the bed to make for easy change in the night, because when sleeping, it is truly "an accident". If she wets her pants during the day, I make her more responsible for it because I know that she had fair warning to get to the bathroom and didn't. I'll make her change her own clothes or (attempt) to clean up her own mess on the floor. We had a problem with her wanting to change clothes constantly and when we wouldn't let her, she'd wet her pants so she'd have to change. She did it at preschool a couple times and the last time I told her she'd have to go back in the infant class if she did it again, and it's never happend since. But under no circumstance will I let her put a pull-up on. Not after all this effort potty training. That's like a license to pee her pants. Also, no undies at bedtime (just jammies) worked really good for us too.
Good luck
C.

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R.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I had a child in my daycare that was having the same problem. She had a lot of changes all at once and I really think it was stress related. What finally worked for us here in daycare was being very calm and not reacting (positive or negative) when she peed her pants, getting her on the toilet every hour, and making a HUGE deal out of peeing in the toilet. When she peed in the toilet We would sing a little song and I would do a little dance. She also had a Potty Chart and got one star for peeing in the toilet and two for pooping. When the chart was full she got a prize ($1 toy). I think the dance and the positive attitude was the most important thing!! NOTE: It took about four months of her peeing in her pants almost every day.

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B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Make sure she's not constipated. My daughter was just fine and dandy and started having accidents out of the blue, I thought maybe a bladder infection so brought her in to the doctors. She was so constipated it was pushing on her bladder and she couldn't medically help it. After a few days of powder laxative I put in her drink she's been fine ever since. Don't feel bad before I knew it was a medical reason I was furious and mad and getting on her about it pretty hard.

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B.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

B.,
My daughter had the same problem when she was Shelbys age, it is frustrating and stressful. it does pass. What I did was kinda went back to the first stages of potty training, having her try to go every couple of hours to try and avoid an accident. Also we did not let her drink anything an hour before bed. It is great that you don't want to punish her, even though sometimes it is hard not to. Keep your cool it sounds as though you are. Also check that nothing has changed in her life dramatically if she goes to daycare talk to the provider and make sure she is not getting teased or traumatized by other kids.
Good Luck
B.

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A.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think "regressing" is a very common thing and believe most children do it. The best thing is to be very patient and understanding with her. I just returned to the store for more pullups and with in a few days maybe 5 she was back to normal. Make a chart with her and have her put a star on everyday that she stays dry. My daughter loved the whole putting stickers on a chart and seeing them all when she was done. Good Luck

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S.S.

answers from Madison on

Probably the best thing you can do is to understand that it is very common for a kid to "regress" in their development from time to time. It makes sense when you realize that each step towards independence (such as potty training) first provides the child with a sense of accomplishment and pride, but it can also elicit a bit of anxiety. Growing up can be scary! The more you accept that your daughter's accidents are quite normal, the better you will be able to work with her through this period. You are right not to punish her, but you can gently insist that she use pull ups, or perhaps you can put a waterproof pad under her at night. Whatever you do, do it matter-of-factly without causing her to feel shame or guilt - let her know that lots of kids have accidents sometimes and it is all part of growing up, but that you want to help her to feel as comfotable as possible and not have to feel wet during the day or at night. Good luck!

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J.

answers from Minneapolis on

What I have learned with our daughter now 6 years old, we used both cloth and store bought diapers for her, then pullups. The key to her learning a new behavior was a challenge but it worked quite quickly! Have her wear less absorbent pullups or whatever so She realizes and personally feels the reason to use the toilet instead of laying on a wet bed. If She gets a rash from this you know in time it will get better but that is the consequence of unsanitary behaviors and lesson learned for the rest of her life. Just one or two days with a rash She will be not walking but running to try to use the toilet more.
I hope this advice does you good and this challenge you overcome. The key reason that children are not potty training sooner than later is not using Cloth Diapers!

Sincerely,
Steven
Founder
BabY-CooP CluB

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N.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

bring her to a chiropractor, they can do wonders for that in just one visit.

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