Help with 3 Year Old Son Adjusting to Pre-School

Your son is 3 and gets written up? What kind of training have these teachers had? Structure is a great thing, but rigidity is not. Especially for an active three year old little boy. He is in an environment with more structure than he is used to (and maybe more than he needs at this age) and so his focus will not be so hot anyway. Do they have free time, centers, do they have hands on activities and ways of learning? Do they (oh the horror) do flashcards? Because the devil made flashcards and if you ask any three year old he will agree. Or is he, in a sense but not literally, told to shut up and color? How long is circle time? Do they have music and movement? Do they make an effort to teach him with the things that he automatically excells at or is interested in or is a three year old little boy made to conform to structure that is too rigid for a child his age? Time out for a child is a minute per year of age for a reason. Because it is all that is reasonable to expect for a child of that age. The same goes with lots of sitting and listening activities. While he may be advanced and bored with what they are doing, the flip side of that is that he is angry and frustrated at school because they are asking things of him that he knows inately that he cannot do and he is acting out. If this school is miserable and he is feeling like a "bad boy" - and they better not be calling him that - because he cannot conform then I would either move him back to where he was or find a preschool that allows for more freedom of choice and less structure. He should be in an environment that introduces new ideas but allows him to explore them at his pace as well as exploring the other things that interest him. He should be given every opportunity to feel successful and if they are not doing it, snatch him outta there.

You should also look into another preschool. Sometimes not every preschool is based on the same things. How big is his classroom? The bigger the class the harder it is for the teacher to manage all of the childrens needs. My daughters preschool class room is at the most that they the director will allow which is 10 she said the state will allow 12 but they prefer 10 to a room because of the individual attention they can give to each student.
If he is in a daycare / preschool environment then he will be in the bigger class environment. I used to work for a daycare/preschool and they would put the rooms to the state max because they were not focused on the learning environment for the kids but the bottom dollar. Not all places are like that but it is something to think about and look at. Also when you look at the places see what the kids are doing in the class room, do a surprise pop in, you are aloud to observe your child in his room via camera or in the next room. But not a good sign is him saying things like he was a bad boy. That is completely unacceptable for a teacher to say to him and that is the only way he is thinking of himself. My daughter is in a dance class and I was not completely paying attention to the content the instructor was saying to the entire class but she would come home in tears saying she was a bad dancer, I finally listened to her teacher one night and the teacher was telling the kids that they are bad dancers. They are 3 and 4 years old, just starting out. But anyway that is not the impression you would want your son to have of school so I would start looking else where or ask that he be pulled into another room.

I'm inclined to agree with Kari. He's bored. The teacher said so. Her job, in my opinion, is to teach & stimulate him so that he doesn't get bored. If he's that far ahead of the class, either she should be recommending something else for you or she should be giving him a different curriculum. He may be better off putting him back where he was. Ask her for her help, teachers are supposed to be there for the students & encourage learning. It kinda sounds like she is somewhat of a hinderance.

Montessori schools are great, but something you said sticks out, the teachers even think he's bored because he is ahead, so obviously the stimulation you had thought he would be getting at school is not there, pull him out and put him back where he was, where obviously he was doing very well in order to be ahead of the other children his age. he wouldn't be bored and getting into trouble if he had been lacking stimulaton where he was at. good luck.

One of the most difficult parts of entering a pre-school situation is all the boo-boos they come home with. I consider myself a very attentive teacher, but the kids still come home with scrapes and scratches and bruises. Still, it shouldn't be a regular occurrence. That many problems in a month is too many! It does sound like they have unreasonable expectations for time-outs. If time outs don't work, a caring and professional teacher will try something else. Personally, I really dislike "bad" notes home. It is usually too late after the fact for the parents to do much about it to make an impact, and it makes a parent feel like their child is a deliquent or something.

I think you should put him back in his nurturing home care until next year, when you can find a good pre-kindergarten program. It is always better to start out at the beginning of the year. If your son just joined pre-school a month ago, the class was already very established, they know the way things go and have established friendships. Your son might not only be bored there, but also he may feel like an outsider and is unable to socially integrate.

It sounds like he really isn't getting what he needs from the current pre-school. Montessori might be a great choice if he is bright and thrives on making his own decisions.
The struggle he's having is a social one- if you do move him back to home-based daycare make sure he is getting plenty of interaction with peers. It takes time to learn to get along with someone your own age!

You know, there is no reason for a child to get "bored" at preschool. My son was far ahead of most the children in his class when he started the beginning of this year, and although he remained strong, he also became a well rounded person and much stronger in his weaker areas. His teacher helped him advice at his level, while having children ranging from "immature 3" to reading 4/5 year olds, single handly most the year with the other teacher leaving shortly after the start of the year. I would definitly suggest finding a new location. If he is getting bored, then you need to find him a place that can help keep him interested on his level.
I didn't have behavior issues, but my son did regress in potty training and does "forget" to pay attention during circle time. But his teacher is wonderful and has helped with every change, and adjustment needed. She was open to my suggestions and using what we use at home (that was working) to help at school (vs. us changing a routine at home that was working). The preschool he attends has had other students start in recent months, and she has helped each adjust to the class. One started just after Easter and appears to have adjusted very well also. You can find a better placement for your own child.

Sounds to me that he is acting out due to the fact that he is obviously getting picked on by the other kid/kids. What has the teacher done to deal with that situation? I would look into a different school if she is unable to ensure his safety among the other kids. Good luck to you.

I to have a 3 yr. old and I can honestly say that 3 is a bit young to push into a social learning environment, let alone having to follow rules, keep up with a group and playing with others his age. 3 yr olds are at a stage where they are just starting to take steps out of their parallel play and just beginning to interact with their peers. It is a lot to ask of a large group of little people to always get along and follow direction, share and be excited about learning...it can be overwhelming for many 3 yr olds and down right stressful. With that being said, maybe he is acting out because of this. It seems as though he is a well behaved child at home where there is less stress and less activity. Maybe he is is over-stimulated as well. My little guy is great, but I know that preschool is not an option for him this year. I know from his personality that he does better one-on-one without a large group and controlled chaos. He tends to get frustrated with too much stimulus and activity.

My suggestion for you would be to hold off on preschool for another year so that he doesn't have a negative attitude toward it. Possibly a half day to begin with. It sounds as though the daycare/preschool is too much for him. If you were quite satisfied with the homecare that he was provided, why not go back! He was in a secure setting and fully thriving...right? If it's not broke, why fix it? Is it a possibility for your homecare provider to drive him to preschool and pick up. I would definitely find a more suitable preschool that focuses more on acedemics and learning thru play, rather than a daycare setting preschool. They tend to be on the chaotic side. Structure is good, but he may not be ready at this point.
Hope you find an answer for your little guy....good luck and i hope he learns to enjoy school!