Help Us Get Some Sleep, Please!!

Well, first off: stop listening to people who have solutions for aspects of your life that are not problems. She was sleeping fine, but everyone (not *everyone* cause I can guarantee it wasn't me!) tells you 'break it, quick' and you responded out of confusion and probably some desire to please others. Now you have a child who doesn't sleep as well as she used to. Perfect. Now I recommend that you get all those 'everyones' to come over and take a turn of night baby care, because they 'fixed it' so you'd need it.

Do whatever it takes to get everyone the sleep they need: nap during the day, take the baby into bed with you and leave her there for the night, feed her anytime she appears to be even the least bit hungry even if she only ate a minute ago, take snacks to bed so they're handy for all of you if you get hungry, keep water beside you while you sleep, too.

Sleep is an enormous issue for parents in the Western world. It is not an issue for parents in other parts of the world for 2 reasons: they know little kids do not regularly or predictably sleep through the night, so they don't keep trying to stop them from waking up naturally, and; almost the whole rest of the world never separates moms and babies through the night, so babies there never wake up thinking they're alone in the dark and their mother has ceased to exist.

All babies sleep patterns change frequently during the first year or two. You are not alone! Actually, the fact that she slept through so early is amazing and I would say a fluke! She is more than likely hungry and just wants her mom in the night. She will also have some growth spurts that require more food and she doesn't know or care when that happens...just that she is hungry and awake, needs to eat and you are the one she needs it from. I wouldn't worry about where she sleeps at this point. If she will sleep in her bouncer, let her, so you can get some sleep. This will pass, be patient.

Some babies sleep through the night accidentally at first only to start waking up once they get older and realize they don't *have* to sleep through the night. A routine was never established and their new autonomy tells them this. So does a pattern of you going in to get them.. it reinforces they can wake up...this sounds like what you may be experiencing.

The good news is your daughter is more than capable of sleeping through the night without mommy or food. My son hasn't woken me up since he was 6 weeks old. All you need is a little training. And doctors will tell you it is the best for not just you, but baby too to get that deep sleep that will grow them developmentally. I followed the principles in a book called Babywise you can find in your local BabiesRUs, Target, Amazon.com etc. Like anything else you teach them (don't touch the stove, it's hot), they need to be taught how to sleep- how to get themselves to sleep and stay asleep... Kids need their schedule; if every day,night,&mommy response is different, so is their reaction to the changes in their environment. Of course, they don't know any better...that is what parents are for! If you take control of the situation and set up a routine, baby will follow suit and mommy, baby, the whole household can get some much needed rest! Good Luck! I know you can do it. Many of my friends have succeeded with this program... You don't need to "just deal with it" or "this is the way it is".... That is why so many moms suffer burn-out, Post-partum depression, on and on. It doesn't have to be that way. PM me if you have any questions.

SOme one mentioned that she may be going through a growth spurt and I have to agree. She is probably hungry. Feed her!! None of my kids have slept through the night until well after a year.

I hate to say this, A., but many little ones are up during the night. She has no idea about your schedule or how to fix whatever it is that wakes her up. She is helpless to meet her own needs! She's crying out to you to rescue her, as unfair as it may be. You'll get through this. Try to be patient. She's growing older every day.

Hi A.,
Although my daughter isn't quite to the 4 month mark - I just wanted to tell you that you let them sleep how they sleep and deal with the drama later (when you have the ability to reason with them or at least communicate with them). My daughter (Avery) sleeps well in her bouncer chair and in her crib, but we also put her in her car seat in her crib. One of my friends had her son in his car seat, in his crib for the first 5 months, he transitioned with no problem once he didn't need the security of the tightness of the car seat - which reminds me, Avery does really well with swaddling too - we use a product called the miracle blanket (the ones with velcro were too much trouble and she wiggled right out of them!) she is to the point where she only needs it when she is in total meltdown mode.

Good luck - I know how precious even 3 hours in a row of sleep can be!!

Kelli

A., it sounds like ever since you took her out of the bouncer to sleep this has been a problem. Could your daughter have acid relfux? I know when my daughter was a baby she had to be up right or sleeping on her belly because of acid reflux. But to be honest you have to do what you have to do to get sleep. To me, if that means having your daughter in the bouncer so you can get some sleep do that! I know I will have people disagree with me but you do what you have to so you don't go insane!

Just want to second Char and Jennifer. Good luck.

Congrats on baby Maddie :)

My twin boys had acid reflux right off the bat (they were in the hospital for the first 6 weeks of their lives and the often let them sleep on their bellies!). My doctor told me to put them in an elevated position. You can do this in many ways...placeing the crib on a slight angle, haveing her sleep in her car seat, or, and this is what worked best for us, having her sleep in her bouncy (ours were in gliders) in the bassinet part of a pack-n-play in our room. That way Maddie knows her parents are close, she is comfortable in an elevated position, and you are comfortable knowing she is not falling out/trying to roll over and getting caught up in her bouncy.

Best of luck!

You might check out a book called 'The Happiest Baby on the Block'. It gives a lot of good ideas on how to get a baby to sleep.

J.