Hey J.,
Believe me, I know how hard this is for you; I was a smoker for 27 yrs.(started at 12)and I quit 7 yrs. ago~ the end of Jan. 2009, which was weeks before my 39th b-day. I really want you to think a lot about what I'm going to tell you; not because I think I'm this wise old sage who knows it all, but because I truly believe it with all of my heart. I know you are so very aware of all the terrible health hazards associated w/smoking~ now think about when you said it was easy to quit while you were pregnant, 'cause it was for the baby's sake, right? Well, that's STILL the reason why you need to quit for good, and this thought process, actually deciding in your own mind (not from being ridiculed or scolded for it)that this IS the time you will stop.... for good. Once I realized that the power to quit was WITHIN ME, it wasn't so hard. Really, I have not had one craving for it since the day I threw away my entire pack that I had only smoked two of earlier that same day. Of course, it all began before that day~ in my mind. I'd been thinking about how I needed and wanted to quit; I had also wanted to go shopping one of these days I was thinking hard about quitting. I went to Sam's Club and in the Health & Beauty isles I spotted some quit smoking patches. I thought "yes, this will be a good start". I went home and thought on it and read up on how to proceed with the patch, although I did not start them that day. The next day, in the mail, arrived a postcard advertising a smoking cessation seminar at the Holiday Inn. I thought "this must be divine intervention, just another push in the right direction". I signed up for the 1 evening seminar for a nominal fee as I thought it couldn't hurt to check it out. I still had not used my patch and went to the seminar which was a week or so after I got the "invite" in the mail. We learned a lot of the reasons why we smoke, the real triggers in our lives that cause us to want to smoke, and the lies we tell ourselves about our smoking. You know, like when you are so stressed that all you want is a couple of good drags off a cig and everything seems just a little bit better. The reason we feel a little relief is because of the deep inhalation of air, not the smoke, that delivers stress relief. Try it... it really makes sense. Anyhow, it would be too much to type to go into all the detail of that evening's lesson, but the biggest lesson I learned is that I, me, myself, knew I just had to quit for good this time(I too had quit for my baby~ before my 1st pregancy)so I could do all that was in my power to be around for all of my children~ even though 3 out of 4 of my kids were almost fully grown. No matter, I remember thinking "do I want to be around to see my kids meet their husbands and wives? How about my grandkids? The answer was still the same as it had been when I gave it up before my first pregnancy.... yes, yes, yes! I wanted to stop smelling like cig's made me smell and have my kids be proud of their mom for giving up this habit. Oh yeah, one more tidbit from the seminar... smoking is an addiction(as you know),and just a bad habit shared by many. We never really give up all bad habits, in actuality we replace them with other habits; hopefully healthy ones. The day after the seminar I was going to a bowling alley with my husband and friends; you know how smokey they are?! Well,I tried out my first (and only)patch that day before going. I thought it might be a little piece of insurance to back me up. I was fine; I had already made up my mind I wanted to be done with smoking, so I never used another patch, and never touched a cigarette again. My last thoughts are these;
This is all up to you sweetheart.... and I KNOW you can do it!
All the best (you'll be in my heart and prayers),
Deb