Help Taking Away Paci 3 Yr Old.

I forgot until after I wrote and than read some repsonses thats what I did for my 3 year old. She loved her pacy and wouldn't give it up. So her pediatrician suggested this and it worked. Cut the tip off so when he sucks he can't and he will get mad at it and through it. You can start with like a pin hole one day. The next day take the top of a knife and slice a slit in it. Then the next day maybe cut like a little piece off the top and because you did it gradually. It won't be so tough for him. Than if he looks at it funny which he will just say oh my did you eat it. Be funny or joke and say what happen is it melting. He won't like it but don't by any more and he eventually will not want it and through it. Or not even pick it up.

The receptionist at my dr office suggested tying it to a balloon and have them let it go. Tell them you are sending the paci to heaven so that the babies in heaven can have a paci. Make a really big deal out of it.

The trick of cutting the tip off worked well for me. Just snip it enough to create a hole, and it does something to the sucking sensation which makes them less interested. I hope it works.

Hi K. -
This is what we did for my 3 yr old (he only used it at nap and bedtime) - he found a toy he really wanted and we suggested that if he threw his binky away then he could get that toy. He was all for it, the first night he wanted his binky and I told him I would have to take his toy back if he wanted it. So I had to lay down with him and comfort him for about 10-15 min but by the second night I only had to lay with him for 5-10 minutes and by the third night he just went to sleep.

Now that being said...if your son is not ready to give up his pacifier...why should it matter. He is only using it at nighttime and naptime. Trust me he won't be taking it to college with him. He may need it right now because of the new baby and he needs the comfort due to the change in family situation.

He is old enough to reason with, so ask him what he thinks about trading in his pacifier for a new toy, or maybe a special gift from Santa for Christmas - he can leave it for Santa under the tree or something... But if he isn't ready don't push it, it will become a power struggle and no one will be happy.

L.

Our son was addicted to his binki - had to be everywhere, then about 25 months old we broken him of that and he had it just at nap and bedtime. He is now almost 28 months old and has been binki free for the last 2 1/2 months! Yeah! What we did, once we brought in the new bed and let him get used to being in the big boy bed with the binki, (about 2 weeks) we told him binki is going to be for the new baby. The first night he cried and screamed and screamed and screamed more and we broke down and gave in. The next night we tried again and laid down with him in bed (with no binki) until he was soothed to sleep. Each night me or dad would lay down and pat his back or rub his back and have the soft music on to help him relax until he fell asleep. He only cried slightly the first night we tired this and was only more of a mere whimpering for binki.
It has been 2 1/2 months and no binki!! However, Yes, I am still lying down with him at bedtime, but it is only for 2-3 minutes a night and I tell him mommie will only lay down for so many minutes and he is ok with that. Cutting cold turkey and having the him scream was not a very easy task for us as he was soooo attached to the binki. Our daughter on the other hand, she was a piece of cake. When it was her time - almost 7 years ago.. she was much easier and she was ready to give it up when we said no more binki, it was more me not wanting to give it up as I felt like my baby was a baby no more. We broke her at about 16 months, so I'm not sure if that helped in the process or not, but she did not cry even that first night.

K., I think the best way to get rid of a pacifi is to put a tiny slit into it. All of a sudden, there isn't the same suction. Every couple of days, cut a bigger piece off the paci. We had to do this with my niece at my Mom's house. My niece would say paci broken. Mom and Dad did this at there house as well once they realized that she didn't need it anymore at Grandma's house.

Good Luck
K.

My son had his until about 2.5. He too loved it. The pediatrician told us it really wasn't a problem since he only got it at night and he was talking. Finally we just threw them away together. He cried a little for about a week and that was it. I don't think there is a good way to gradually give it up-- just tell him he is throwing it away or, if his teeth are fine and he is talking and only using it to sleep, let him keep it.

I didn't have a problem here. My daughter was 9 months, we went into 2 weeks of Christmas mode and the change in routine was a good time to just let it disappear. Now here's an idea that sounds gross. My parents used this on my older brother. They let the paci soak in a shot glass of vinegar. When he asked, they gave. He immediately gave it back. I believe it only took one taste to let that be done with. The up side on this method, it was the child's choce...not the parents.

My doctor suggested to us that we cut the tips off the paci's, and when my son sucks on it, the sensation is not the same so he doesn't want it at all. Try it and she what happens.

Hi K.,
I feel your pain. My son will be 3 in Jan and still has a paci for nap and nighttime. I think our problem will solve itself because he chews on them and when they used to get holes we would buy him a new one because he doesn't like them. Well we told him when this last one gets a hole there are no more. That they'll be all gone. I don't know how your son is but you could use one that he doesn't like or make a little hole in it and maybe he would decide himself that he doesn't like it. Good luck.
Chris

Hi K..
Alright... I've read all the comments... and I am certainly going to be the lone voice here. But why does he NEED to give it up? He only has it at night and at bedtime. That seems reasonable to me.

You have a 3 month old. For the last 3 years your son has the been the center of your and your husbands attention. He was the only child. Now, he has to share his most prized possession... his mommy and daddy. Mommy and Daddy are everything to him ... they are safe, they are secure, they provide him with everything he needs. Now, you're forcing him to give up his SECOND most prized possession... his paci. Seems like a lot for a little guy to handle. Even at 3 kids are still trying to work out how they feel and handle their emotions. His whole world has been turned upside down. We can explain about the new baby and all of that...but in the midst of 'needing' comfort... it's hard for kids that age to understand that mommy or daddy can't come right away, or hold him, etc...

It seems like he needs the comfort. It isn't doing any harm quite frankly. Most dentist will tell you that as long as they give it up before permanent teeth come in, then there is no dental harm.

I'm all for teaching our kids to be age appropriate and be 'big kids' ... but why strip him of his comfort item when he obviously isn't ready and has so much to adjust to. Think about it... YOU have some sort of comfort item when you feel upset ... we all do. Whether it is our morning coffee, a particular sweatshirt, a drive in the country, indulging in that brownie, sitting with our favorite book, getting a massage, taking a bath ... we ALL have SOMETHING we do to make us feel a little better when we are in need. So, why do we expect our kids to NOT have something? Seems like a paci is a fairly benign commfort item. I would rather have my daughter use a paci to comfort herself then a piece of chocolate cake.

Seems to me like we often try to squeeze our kids into this adult box of what we think they should do. Obviously there are things where we do know best and they just need to obey. Not touching a hot stove, wiping after going toilet, not loading up on sugar, etc... But there are things where it seems like we expect them to be adults and understand adult things when ... they just aren't ready. I'm not an advocate of coddling your kids... but just letting them be kids.

So... just something to think about.

I don't have advice...I have the same battle. I am SO anxious about taking the paci from our almost 2 yo son. You wouldn't think this would be so hard???

~L.

The pacifier "fairy" came to our house. She left a book instead of money. My son was 4 when she came. It helped that he had an older sister that the was loosing teeth and the tooth fairy came to visit. If I remember correctly, we talked about if for several days leading up to it. Hope it helps. G.

Hi K.,
Whatever you choose to do (giving it up or not) here is a successful method that a great friend of mine used with her three year old daughter. :) Gave me a good laugh too!

My friend had been trying to get rid of the pacies for awhile and it wasn't working so hot and she tried a bunch of different methods. So as her daughter's 3 year check up neared (which just happened to be on her birthday) she started talking about how 3 year olds "have" to turn their pacies in at the doctor's office at their three year check up if they haven't given them up already. It's a rule! ;) They talked about it for a few weeks prior to the appointment. My friend was still not sure how it would go but when they walked in to the office the day of the check up, her daughter slammed the pacies down on the receptionist desk to give them up. They ended up waiting and giving them to the nurse once they got into the examining room so that the nurse could take them and give them to other babies in the office - you'll just have to tell the nurse that you're doing just that and they'll take them and throw them away for you. :) My friend's daughter had a little bit of a rough time going down for a nap that afternoon but after that she was perfectly fine.

I hope this helps a bit or at least gave you a laugh. It is your choice and you know your son the best and when he is ready for a change like this. Good luck and God bless!

Hi K., My children have grown into beautiful young women. But, I to remember being very concerned with my older child. They are the same age different. What we did was we stop buying new pacifiers. Boy, did that pacifier look ugly! But one day it was gone and it was her decision.
Good luck!

I had one paci-lover. She weaned herself from breastfeeding at 15 months..suddenly. But she loved her NUKs. She was one to have one in her mouth, one in each hand and 6 floating around in the bed or wherever. I finally told her that once they were lost they were gone forever. I conveniently "lost" them for her. It was gradual so she didn't freak out. The other thing I saw once on SuperNanny was tying all the pacis on a tree with ribbons for the "paci-fairy" to come and take them to a baby that needed them. The next morning, after the fairy came, there was a nice thank-you note and little gift for the child. Worked for them. I think you just don't want to make it a negative thing...he might start sucking his thumb and you can't take that away. Good luck...this too shall pass!

I didn't read what other moms said so I hope this is a new idea...what about the paci fairy? You put them all in a pile (we put them on the porch) for her to pick up over night and in the morning there is a cool new toy there. Use his birthday for the pick up day. You can start talking it up now so he knows it's coming. Costs you a little cash but it's worth it to get rid of it fight free!
Good luck!

Hi K., I went thru the same situation with all 3 of my children. Try cutting the tips back a little every day or week. When there is no more nipple left to suck he will willingly throw the rest of paci out. I would tell my kids their binkies were old and broke. Each day that I snipped the nipple back more my kids would wonder what happened and I would just tell them the binkies were getting very old and at 3 it was time to give them up. Good luck, M.

We all tend to cry and freak out when we loose something that we love. It's part of the process of grieving I guess. He is going to have to learn how to move on. This is probably a good time. Get your earplugs ready and teach him this important lesson before it's too late.

PS: Try the blink fairy (leave the paci out and have her take it in trade for a cool toy then use the toy to remind him that his paci is gone to a child who needs it).

S.

K.,
You've received some wonderful advice about helping you curb your son's need for his paci. But have you put any thought as to his fierce attachment to this item? It is a perfectly normal reaction for a child this age to be overly attached to a specific item. It is their way of finding comfort in something other than us. Please consider finding him a new lovey item, maybe a plush animal or blanket that he might be comforted by during this rough transition.

yOU VERY WELL MAY HAVE ALREADY TRIED THIS BUT WITH MY SON, WHEN HE TURNED 2 I UST TOLD HIM THAT THE "CORKY" WAS FOR BABIES AND THAT HE WAS A BIG BOY NOW. I TOLD HIM TOTRY IT AND IF IT DIDNT WORK WE COULD GIVE IT BACK AND TRY LATER. IT GAVE HIM A SENSE OF CONTROL I THINK TO BE INCLUDED IN THE DECISION AND AFTER THAT FIRST NIGHT HE NEVER ASKED FOR IT AGAIN... HE ENJOYED BEING A "BIG BOY".
GOOD LUCK

My daughter just turned 3 and we decided to get rid of her paci, we told her that the newborn babies in the hospital needed them b/c they were so little and needed to be comforted. She did continue to ask for it for a week or so but we kept reminding her about the babies. We had a few rough nights as well, she woke up and would ask for it. Be strong, once you take it away don't give it back!

Make a 'home' for the paci that your son has to put the paci in when he's not in bed. The home is a container of water that you secretly add white vinegar to on a regular basis. Within a few days, he won't be able to stand the taste of the paci and give it up on his own. My kids were never attached to a paci, but this worked like a charm for my niece.

Hi K.,

We tried to take it away from our son several times also and caved after a week of sleepless nights. Just before his 3rd birthday we had a new baby born into the family and we talked about giving it to the new baby. At first he was not agreeable and said that he needed it and couldn't give it to the baby. However, when we went to visit the baby he took one look at him and asked me if we could go to the car and get his binky for the baby. He cried a little that night for it and I reminded him that he gave it to the baby and he was fine after that. I think the sense of control in giving it up on his terms helped.

Hi K.:

We went throught the EXACT same thing with our son! (Attempting it at age two, ultimately caving.) But when he turned three, this is what we did: We talked with him about it being time to give up the paci. Then we told him that we would tuck him for bedtime and we keep his paci for one minute after he went to bed. Only one minute. And if he didn't cry at all, we would bring it into him after one minute and he could have it the rest of the night.

This worked! He didn't cry at all, and we returned as promised one minute later with his paci.

We did that for a couple of nights. Then we increased to two minutes. Then five minutes, etc. Ultimately, he would start falling asleep before we returned; and at first we would just lay the paci beside his sleeping body. But after several nights of that, we would "forget" to bring it in once in a while. Before long, SUCCESS! No more paci.

For my daughter, what worked was telling her that her paci was all worn out and we had to get her a new one. She didn't like the new one at all, but held it in her hand as she slept for one year. (Between the ages of 2-3.) Then at three, it was really no problem for her to finally give it up. But our son was definitely more of a challenge. He could care less what kind of paci it was, he just wanted his paci!

Good luck!

When our daughter turned three in April we told her the pacifier had to go into the trash. She threw it away on her b-day like a big girl....and then that nigth she cried liek a baby!!! My hubby took it out of the trash and sanitized it and she went back to sleeping with it only during the night. When she was just shy of 3 1/2 I made her her 1st dentist appt and for a week or two before I told her the dentist was going to tell her she HAS to throw it away or she is going to have teeth like a bever (good mom I know). Sure enough the dentist said she is too old for it and it needs to go (I didn't even coax it out of him). She came home from the dentist, went right upstair, got the pacifier and threw it away. I told her we would buy her a present for being such a big girl. She was a little sad the first two nights, but nothing major (THANK GOD!) and that was the end of it for her and us. Bottom line, she wasn't ready at 3 and just a few months later she found letting it go easier. Good luck!!

My daughter had her pacifer until she was 4 years old, her doctor told me to relax that he promised she would not take it to kindergarden. She kept it in her bedside table and she could use in private. The doctor explain that some children really need the security and comfort it brings.
I have to agree, she is now a very healthy and happy teenager. Good Luck!

I too, just want to add that you could consider reevaluating whether it is really that important to remove the pacifier which is an obvious source of comfort. We just said our final goodbyes to the pacifier in June and our daughter turned three in April... I had plans to lose it at 2 but it was such a source of comfort at nighttime and naps that we talked about doing it at age 2 1/2. We never allowed it for other times of the day or out of the home. SO at 2 1/2 we went one night without it. I slept with her because it was so uncomfortable and painful for her. The next day i did more research and determined that the risk of tooth problems really isn't proven unless you go into later years when the real teeth come in--i just felt in my heart that this was not a reason to take away something that continued to bring so much comfort at sleeptime. Ideally, its not great but we kept the pacifier to sleeping only. We were sure that at age 3, we would call on the pacifier fairy and be done for good. Of course, at her third birthday she didn't want to say goodbye to her pacifier. Due to a change in babysitter and then more working hours for me, we did not feel up to the challenge ourselves. We did notice her trying to get her pacifier in her mouth during daytime hours more and more as i think she knew it was time to say goodbye to her pacifier. That frustrated me and i knew we had to do something. As luck would have it, she got a cut lip, which turned into a canker sore on the inside of her lip and using the pacifier was not only painful, it was gross thinking of all the germs, etc. This was our chance! We 'reasoned' with her and went the first night without her pacifier. It really was not easy but because of her lip, it was easier to stick to the plan. The next morning we packaged up her pacifiers and sent them off to the fairy who sent her some very nice toys--which she was thrilled about. It was still a struggle for her, but after 3 nights, it was pretty easy. A few times she wanted her pacifier back but she settled for me singing to her. Overall, i'm thankful that the transition went as it did. This is getting to be a really long story... my point is, try not to beat yourself up over this. At some point, he will be over it. Limiting it to nightime or naps is an okay option -in my opinion of course. I do believe that some children are extremely soothed by pacifiers and it becomes a very hard habit to break. Why we are so hard on children about breaking things that give them comfort, i just don't know... i know i probably come across as a big pushover--which i'm kinda pretty strict and firm on somethings. I'm learning to pick my battles and the pacifier just didn't seem like that big of deal in the big picture. I always felt that getting good sleep is the priority for the whole family. My second daughter has very little interest in a pacifier and that just confirms that there is not right or wrong things to do across he board. Different kids need different things. Anyways, best of luck! Sorry this turned into a book! You're definitely not the only one to agonize over the darn pacifier!

My son was 2 1/2 when we finally got rid of his and he had it alot not just at bedtime and we thought we would never get rid of it. We also had tried to do without but didn't go thru with it because of the stress it put him and us thru. We had talked about tieing it to a balloon and then letting him let it go outside and saying good bye but he got rid of it on his own before we got a chance but that was are intentions. We kept telling him he was a big boy now and did not need it they were for babys and that he should throw it away and we will give it to the garbage man. So I talked him into it one day just before the garbage man came and he threw it away, we then carried the garbage out and watched the garbage man take it away. Once it was gone it was alot easier than I thought it would be. He would ask for it and I would just tell him "remember you threw it away and the garbage man took it bye bye, its all gone" and he quit asking for it about a week later and was over it. The older they are the harder it is to take away I did learn that. He is now 8 and I have a daughter 13 that we took bottle and paci away both at the same time at 1 year old actually 2 days after her 1st birthday it was bad for about 2 nights of screaming and then she was fine but my second child just was harder for some reason. I also have a 17 month old girl now who has a paci continuously and she still nurses and I am dreading that because she is my last one and is our baby so we havent attempted it yet so I will probably be needing some advice for myself. Let me know how it all turns out and what works for you .
I have been married to a wonderful husband for 11 years and great dad with 4 children. A step son 22 years old, 2 daughters 13 years old and 17 month old and also a 8 year old son. I am a SAHM that has been doing daycare in my home for 11 years and love children.

Here's an oddball idea: A friend of mine chose the day to begin weaning her daughter by looking at the Old Farmer's Almanac and beginning on the best day of the month to wean...