Help! Pcsing with 20 Month Old!

I agree with Theresa your daughter is probably picking up cues from you and your husbands stress and anxiety that you probably don't even realize you have from time to time, let her sleep with you and be close and make her feel comforted it is a big change for her and just let her make some rules and feel a little bit in control of her sleep that is all she has left right now so you have to reassure her even if it is a little bit uncomfortable for you from time to time. When she throws tantrums just stop whatever you are doing or in the middle of her tantrum and just hug her and hold her and tell her it will be alright till she calms down, this might be hard to do because we always expect our children to behave but once again she just needs you to love her and know and feel that you love her the way a one year old can understand
Good luck...
MAMALYN

Hello! We were in a very similar situation, we were leaving our base in Las Vegas to come overseas. We also had time in a hotel and then we spent time with family in Texas before flying over here to the Netherlands. My son was 2 and my daughter was 1 month old when we had to leave our home. We were "homeless" for 4 months. It was very difficult so I know what you have ahead of you. The best advice I could give would be to stay on schedule as much as is possible with your daughter. If she has a normal everyday schedule that she follows. Also she can feel any tension or stress you might be feeling so try to stay calm and be excited about the change. It will be hard. She just doesn't understand. When we got our new house here my son asked if we were going to stay here for a little bit. When we took our first trip away from our house he cried because we didn't pack all of his things, he thought we were leaving. Moving is hard on little ones but they bounce back, he really enjoys our house, he still calls it our new house. We also kept talking about how when we found our new house all of his toys would be there and his bed and all of the things that were important to him! We talked a lot about where we were going and even looked up some things nearby so we could talk to him and he would know what to expect and feel excited about moving! I took a lot of pictures of our home in Vegas and the places that my son liked to go so that he would have those if he missed it. Once you get to your new home it will all calm down, my son is more clingy to me since the move but I am sure with time he will be back to his old independent self! I hope all goes well for you!!! S.

My twins were one when we came here.

Even with hotel living (2 months total when you count the time we were in transition before arriving overseas) I tried to keep everything consistent. I made sure to keep nap and bed times the same. Any routines you have that you can still follow while in the hotel (books before bed or songs before bed) should be followed.

I brought along the travel lite pack and plays for my girls and used those instead of the hotel cribs. They took naps in them every day before we moved, so they were used to sleeping there. I made sure to bing familiar toys, books and bedding and brought their favorite DVDs for the portable DVD player.

It is a pain to keep things consistent and familiar, but that is what babies want and it makes it easier on you in the long run.

I would suggest you just let her sleep with you during this transistion time since she is not staying in cribs. You might have to go to bed early or lay with her until she is asleep, but it might be worth doing for now. You can take turns with your husband after she is asleep and one of you can lay down with her while the other goes and sits in a quiet place in the hotel.

You are probably the only thing consistent and familiar right now which is why she probably wants to be stuck to you. Let her if that makes her feel secure. If you get frustrated and fight it, she will probably get more frustrated as well.

Kids feel and feed off of our stress and you are stressed right now. We all get that way during a move.

Just go with the flow. Survival is key. We just PCS'd with a 16 month old a few months ago. He is 21 months now. I think tantrums are part of the age and it compounded by the disruptions of staying in a hotel and traveling. If she sleeps better with you, let her sleep with you. You will need your sleep to deal with the plane travel. Once you get set up in your new place you can put energy into getting her back into a normal routine, but it just isn't worth the battle right now.

As for the plane travel: go slowly. It will take you longer to move through the airport. Just accept that and breathe. Bring twice as many diapers/wipes as you think you will need for the whole trip in case of delays. Bring plenty of snacks. Bring some toys/activities and a blanket. Pre-board if they allow family pre-boarding and get off last. When people are rushing around with there luggage to get off the plane, it can be too much to try to get off with a little one and all the gear.

Check the carseat. You will appreciate the extra room and your daughter will fight sitting in it anyway. It is too late for this trip, but there are products you can get to use as a seat belt of sorts for little ones:

Baby B'Air
http://babybair.com/
CARES
http://www.kidsflysafe.com/

Also, you can get the Go Go Kidz Travelmate http://www.gogobabyz.com/products/gogo_kids.html which attaches to your carseat and makes it like a wheeled piece of luggage. You child can even sit in it and be pushed through the airport if you do want to bring the carseat on board or gate check it.

Also, I like these little backpack/leashes for the airport. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4532497
They are cute, cheap and will let your toddler have some freedom without getting run over by people with luggage. I got one because my son kept running away in the airport and when I held his hand his whole body went limp and he threw a tantrum. He likes the monkey and will let me hold the tail. This is great for layovers.

Good luck and safe travels!

Hi, my name is D.. We are in Japan for the second time. The first time we left here my son was 18 months old. We went to 2 different states to visit families and then stayed in the Navy lodge for a while. I know what you are going through. The only thing you can do is keep on trying to put her back in the crib, or just let her sleep up on the bed with yall. I know it is hard letting children sleep with us but sometimes it can not be helped. We are military families and live by different means. Sometimes we just have to adjust to make the children feel better and more at ease. I don't know if this will help at all but I figured I would try. Keep on keeping on.

I am wondering if the PCS for you and your husband is stressful and feels like a ton of work and responcibility just sitting on your sholders or if the move is being considered a fun time with lots of together time. Like a planned extended vacation that excites you, puts a smile on your face, and is an adventure worth going on. I would guess that your 20 month old is largly taking her cues from Mom and Dad as to how pleased she is with her change of address. She will pick up more information from the invisible vibes the two of you put off than any words of assurance you give her. Just something to be aware and think of. Kid's ability to flex and adjust to their surroundings is amazing and often one we, as adults, can learn from. If Mom and Dad are fine she will be too. Your patience and tolerance will be rewarded! (I have moved 7 times in 15 years and have 3 kids.)