HELP! Our 3 Yr Old Will Not Try to Eat Other Food Only What He Knows

Please put the high chair back in storage. Dont let him tell you what he's not going to do. He is the child and YOU ARE THE PARENT. You are supposed to tell him wht to do. You have spoiled him. Dont give in! Kids will go as far as you let them. If he know he dont have to eat it, that he will get what he want eventually, then he's going to continue to not try new foods. What ever meal you prepare, he will eat it when he's hungry. He's a small kid and this problem can quickly be resolved. You just have to take control and show him that he cant always have what he want. Be consistent. Good luck.

V8/fruit drink are both to be avoided - huge amounts of sugar or salt. Water is great!

What happens with a behavior issue is that we train our children. If he knows that he can cry until you give him something, he will do so. He has figured out that your no is not no - it is just no until he screams long enough or moans in pain.

What I found helpful for my three children, who would all have loved that kind of diet, was to serve a small (ie definitely manageable) serving of vegetable before lunch and dinner as the first course. The main course was something I knew they liked (say, fish sticks). They could see the fish sticks and knew they could have them once the veggies were eaten. No arguing, no discussing, no cajoling, no begging, no reasoning. If they didn't want to eat, that was fine. The next meal time was at (bfast, 10am snack, lunch, 4pm snack, dinner was the basic schedule, so I was not always dealing with food). The same veggies would be served first, then the fish sticks would be available.

He is not going to starve - and he already gets very little nutrients from his diet - so he'll be fine. You are doing him a great favor in helping him learn that he doesn't have to be the adult in charge of the family. He needs you to lovingly, firmly, confidently set boundaries and keep to them. That is how he knows he is loved and secure.

You can do it!

Try giving him a fun little cup that isn't a sippy cup.

As for the food aversions, I just give my children foods I make. If they don't eat it, tough, they are hungry that day.

Be sure you give him healthy options, very small portions at a time, that means no cinnamon toast cereal, no pancakes, no cookies. So far, he is getting really only starches and tons of sugar. I would cut out the apple juice, that's mostly just sugar water. Offer applesauce instead. Or an apple slice with low sodium peanut butter. A celery stick with peanut butter and raisins. A cheese stick. For breakfast, try zucinni and blueberry muffins, or make oatmeal with a little bit of honey and brown sugar and with lots of fresh fruit like strawberries, bananas and blackberries cut up in it.

Also, I don't make kid meals, our boys (3 and 5 years old) eat the same adult food we eat, that includes, fish, shrimp, veggies, fruit... sometimes I have to give them a tiny amount of dip to encourage them, but they are overall pretty good eaters.

Let him help decorate the food. Make english muffin pizzas and let him sprinkle on the cheese. Sometimes, when they get involved, they get a little more excited about it.

I've read it takes a picky child an average of 10 or so times of a food being shown to them before they will try it. So, keep offering. Do not give him cookies or sweets if he refuses to eat his meal.

My friends child is like this. I calmly placed him in time out for a few minutes. I went and nicely spoke with him about how the food is yummy and will make him be able to be strong and run fast like his favorite superhero. But he has to eat before that will happen. I give him a choice, he can eat 3 big bites or 10 little bites, the kids always choose 3 big bites.

As for behavior issues, Dr. Sears is an expert in this field, he has lots of wonderful advice here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

He has some feeding advice here for picky eaters:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030100.asp

The picky eater advice is specifically here:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp

As the mother of 5 and the grandmother of several I have learned certain truths with my family, one being that if I and I mean I take the time to condition my children and grandchildren to certain things then when I suddenly want a change then they rebell! Your child is 3 years old for heaven's sake and just acting like one. I can't believe that a doctor would say he has "behavioral issues when it's been you as a parent that has taught him it's ok to eat this way and natural to act like this-- has he never seen anyone try give up caffine or smoking- it's the same thing - the body rejects the idea til retrained! Your 3 yo has been allowed and encouraged because you have given it to him to eat a certain way and wants was is comfortable and certain not the "unknown". If you think he has issues now wait til he is 16 and you try changing habits-- it is about you taking a stand and believe me I have had children who refused to eat and have gone a day or two without eatting but then they get smart and eat he will not starve but he may learn that you can't whimp out and cave in to his demands.
About the new baby. Our 3yo has a new baby in the family and the parents have gone the extra mile to make sure that she knows it's her baby and that they all have to help the baby learn to eat healthy to grow and it has made a sweet bond between them.
My thought is introduce yourself as the parent and tell him that you are not buying certain things anymore and then don't. It's like with a bottle -a child @ 3 doesn't need a bottle so get rid of it if you don't want to do it when he's awake because of the tears then when he is not looking toss them into the garbage and when asked for tell him to look and see they have just gone as he is to old for one. A 3yo has left the baby stage and really a parent can't have it both ways either a baby or a toddler but not 1/2 of each hopefully you started this process before the baby was born..
My daughter in law does a great thing for her 3yo. she set a area in the bottom of the frig just for the childrens snaks and has blanched veggies there- cooked just long enough to take that raw and hard texture off and actually makes them prettier, along with dips and they can have all they want, along with cheese and crackers, there are small juice boxes and chocklate milk boxes. No other snacks are allowed til these are gone. little ones snack alot during the day and may not eat as much at a sit down meal so she knows the child gets protein and fun things as well.
We frankly use v8 while cooking for sauces and soup but the children see me drink it and will take some of mine. I grind up many vegetables in the blender and add them to sauce as well. So it has taken your child 3 years to get to this point now take 6 months and retrain the habits another direction and both of you will be happier. I wish you many healthy days.

You have to be consistent and not break down and give him what he wants. Provide healthy food at meals and snack time. Start with giving him a small serving of a food he likes as well as food he doesn't like. Introduce the new foods, one at a time. i.e. Only one new food each week. Give him some of what he likes but not enough to fill him up. He will eat when he's hungry.

You have to get tough and not give in to him after you've said no. When you do that you're teaching him to misbehave to get what he wants. Bad, bad habit to get into and difficult to get out of it. You have to realize and accept that it's your responsibility to consistently teach him good behavior. Never give in. Yes, you will sometimes. Forgive yourself and start over.

He will eat when he's hungry. I suggest that although his tummy hurts he's still not hungry enough. Or......you've more consistently given in and he knows that if he just holds out you'll eventually give him what he wants.

Perhaps he will drink from a cup. 3 doesn't actually need a sippy cup. Let him drink water instead of V-8 juice which has a strong flavor. I understand him not wanting to drink it. Perhaps flavor the milk with a very small amount of chocolate syrup. Just enough to make it taste different but not so much he's getting too much sugar.

Give him mild, easy to eat foods as a transition diet. All the foods you mentioned are soft and require very little chewing. Chicken strips are more difficult to chew. Perhaps you could break them up into smaller pieces. Scrambled eggs are an example of another soft, mild food. All of you have scrambled eggs. Teach by example. Be patient.

My daughter has her kids eat just one bite of new foods. The next time she serves it, it's 2 bites, and on. Talk to him ahead of time about the food. Perhaps the first time he doesn't have to taste it but he has to have it on his plate. Then 1 bite, etc. She will also say we're having ice cream for desert. Eat 5 bites and you can have yours. Giving a choice, as mentioned by Momma L. sometimes helps. Having him help you choose and prepare the food might help.

If the high chair can be pulled up to the table without the tray, use it as a toddler chair. Otherwise put it away again. He's a big boy. Only feed him when he's at the table.

Eating can become a power struggle. Sounds like it's a battle already. So stop insisting that he eat. Be matter of fact. This is what we have to eat. We eat at the table. At such and such a time, we clear the table and put the food away. You can choose to eat or not. Then let it go. When he says he's hungry, offer him the nutritious food at the table.

If you can be calm and unemotional he will eat, eventually. He has to suffer the consequences of not eating before he will learn that he'd rather eat. When you get focused on making him eat the issue is clouded with control issues. When you're upset that he doesn't eat you your turn eating into an emotional issue.

You have to decide on the rules and enforce them in a calm and unemotional way. He won't starve. You will have days and perhaps weeks of him being cranky and complaining of a tummy ache. Eventually he will learn to eat what you give him.

This will take time. Don't set yourself up for failure by insisting that he eat new foods right away. Momma L. suggested that a child has to be exposed to a new food 10 times before they're willing to try it. So start out slow.

I suggest that a large part of what is going on is having to adjust to a new baby. I would still give him a bottle at night. Now, with a baby drinking a bottle, is not a good time to wean from a bottle. I'd tell him that during the day he's a big boy and big boys use a cup but that you understand how comforting a bottle is and he can have one at night. I'd then rock him with the bottle as a measure of comfort and so he doesn't feel totally displaced by this new baby.

I"d also spend time with him without the baby. Praise him for being a big boy. Have him help with the baby by fetching for you or even holding the bottle while you hold the baby. Talk, quietly with him about how the baby has no teeth and can't eat big boy food like he can.

He is afraid. Afraid the baby is pushing him out of his place with you. Unfortunately you're trying to make some major changes in his diet at the same time a new baby has made even larger changes.

Remember, it's no big deal if he eats or not. He will not go hungry for long. Be consistent. Be firm. Be kind, but don't give in.

you should get Jessica Seinfields book, of course I can't think of the name of it right now, but it has to do with eating issues, also all sorts of recipes for food with veggies hidden in them, there is even a brownie recipe made of veggies, but you wouldn't know it. Hope you can find it. Also, kids will only eat when they are hungry, so I wouldn't feel bad for him not eating all day, it probably hurts you more than him...

Remember you're the one controlling what he gets to eat. If you give into him because you're worried he's not eating, he's just learned how much of a struggle is required to get what he wants.

Children will self-regulate with food -- meaning they'll eat when they're hungry. Over a few days, they pick and nibble at foods to get all of the protein/carbs/vitamins, etc. that they need from a variety of foods. Your job is to provide him with healthy options at every opportunity, meaning snacks AND meals. Make sure you offer at least one healthy thing he likes (for my son, this is fruit or cheese) and if he's hungry, he will eat.

I'd recommend reading Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter. She's the guru of how to deal with picky eaters and offers practical advice on how to get and keep your kids eating well.

Oh and off the cuff, I'd say cut out the juice entirely, or limit it to once a day. I know several mom's who's kids "survived" on juice alone and started eating once the juice was removed.

And about the high chair, he's probably regressing a little in reaction to the new baby in the house. He see's how much attention the baby is getting (unavoidable) and wants to be a baby too. Find time to have one-on-one time with just him, and find ways for him to be a great helper, as a big brother (handing you diapers at changing, helping you read a book to the baby, etc.), then praise him for being such a big boy, and he'll probably seek more ways to be the "big boy" in the family.

Good luck, and stay strong.

YOU ARE THE PARENT. You decide what he eats and drinks, and it is not ok that he is running your mealtimes... Serve him HEALTHY meals, and do not offer anything else. He is 3, there is no such thing as being picky... He will eat what you put in front of him when he is hungry enough. Be consistant and do not fold when he complains. He obviously knows how to get his way...

Also, a highchair and bottle are ridiculous at this age... My 22 month old sits at the table with not even a booster seat and drinks from a cup. We do not allow him to be unruly at the dinner table, he has plenty of time in the day to be funny and silly, and at the table that is not allowed.

Good luck, stick with some discipline.

Hi, My daughter, who is 9, is a picky eater also. She usually refuses to try anything new and eats virtually no fruits or veggies. I feel your frustration. I think you need to address the bottle issue first. Leave the diet until later. Clearly the bottle has been a source of comfort, similar to a pacifier. Perhaps you might replace it by giving him something else to sooth him - suggest he carry around a stuffed animal or something similar.

Stay firm with the bottle. Give him a sippy cup with milk and he either drink it or not. Don't push juice, even the ones that claim to incorporate veggies - they do have a lot of sugar. Congratulations to you that he likes water.

After the bottle battle is past then he might be open to trying new things, food-wise.

We are in the process of taking my daughter to a therapist to address her food issues. We did all the usual stuff and she steadfastly refused to try fruits and veggies. People say that a child will eat when if they get hungry...I haven't found that to be true. Good-luck.