HELP! One of My 20 Month Old Triplets Is a Biter.

She's old enough to understand, she's almost two and you also said that she doesn't bite her sister for fear of being bit back...they are pretty smart at that age.

At 20 months, she most definitely does understand. I agree with the book tactic, but I must say that anything involving physically hurtful or dangerous behavior requires bringing out the "big guns" in my book.

For me, the big guns is my big-mean-voice; "No! No biting! Mommy says NO! That hurts!" and then move the child away into a time-out and overly comfort the victim, even if he's really not hurt. Personally, when mine were that little, a time-out place was usually just sitting against the wall in the same room. I don't think little ones really understand being banished into another room, or understand the idea of being in time-out for a certain period of time. It's more the idea that when she bites, she gets moved away and excluded for a few moments.

I'm not suggesting that you scare her - just that you make it clear that this is serious. Not yelling, but a loud very stern voice! Short sentences, don't over explain WHY biting is wrong, no unnecessary conversation.

I don't use the big-mean-voice much, so it certainly gets their attention. It's reserved for hitting/biting/hurting others and when there is danger (such as going into the street, near a stove, etc.) She is old enough to understand and your tone will let her know that you are serious, as well as having a consequence of being removed from the situation. It's a pretty normal phase, she will get over it, but you should be firm that hurting others is not okay. :)

Things like this are always tuff to deal with and the only way I feel is to reiterate over and over again not to bite. Is she teething? I think sometimes kids bite when they are teething (is she getting her molars maybe?). I would offer her things she can bite on. Also Karol Katz has a book on biting that talks about that it's called "NO biting". It's a book for small kids, very simple, very short and it talks about biting. The book teaches them what they can bite on and what they can't. When she bites, I'd tell her no that hurts her brother- no biting, maybe a time out ( I think 1 minute for her age) then offer her something to bite on.

Good luck.

:)

While biting is normal for kids at this age, it's very distressing for everyone involved. I found a link to a decent article on toddler biting. This article mentions biting in child care, but the techniques discussed can help you at home. The most important thing is to try to figure out why she's biting so you can intervene appropriately. What time of day? What happened right before? Sometimes kids bite when they are hungry or overtired. I had a little boy in my class once who bit when he wanted to play with another child but didn't know how to enter the play - he was frustrated, but it was a very specific frustration that took a while for us to figure out. When you figure out why it is happening, you can put safeguards into place to prevent the behavior. If it happens at a certain time of day because she is over tired, separate her from the other kids around that time and give her some down time that could solve the problem. If she's hungry and it's not lunch or snack time, maybe a few crackers could prevent the problem. If she is doing it to get your attention, maybe there are other ways to give her one on one attention - give her some personal interaction before you turn your back and see if that helps her. One little girl that I knew liked having a cold, wet paper towel to suck on to help her remember not to bite. For her, biting had more to do with the sensory input and the paper towel helped her tremendously.

Because of her age, talking about it beyond "no biting your brother" isn't going to do anything except possibly make her anxious. Try to figure out the trigger for the behavior and work from there.

It is a phase, and with loving guidance, it will pass. It sounds like you are already on the right track to helping your daughter through this stage. Good luck!

Article - http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/1106_biti...

My 17 month old bites too. We started timeouts a couple of months ago. Granted he is still too young to grasp the concept of consequence it does pull him from the situation EVERY time he does it. It's becoming fewer and farther between though it still happens. Good luck!

kids at that age might understand what your saying about no biting but they have no feeling in there gums/teeth at that age so they don't understand that it could hurt because they don't feel anything.. To be straight honest with you(I know people are going to freak get over it) but Ihave had 2 kids (teens now) & have raised several other kids when they would bite I would bite them back so they 2 could feel what the hurt is. (I'm not telling you to bite your child) my daughters each did it 1x & never again after I bite them back.. good luck with how ever you choose to deal with it.. been in childcare for over 23yrs so have seen alot.

I have never had any issues with my own children biting, but I care for other people's children. I have taken several classes that have tought me to cuddle and love the bitee as soon as it happens. Ignore the biter. Give the bitee extra love and affection and make sure they are okay. Your daughter may be trying to get a reaction from you. As a child when you see mama giving someone loving you get jealous and want that loving. The theory is the biter will stop making you love on the bitee and stop the biting.

Maybe her teeth just hurt and she needs a special toy to bite on. There is also a book "Teeth are not for biting"
I always use books to introduce how others may be feeling
I have tried this with kids that hit and it works pretty well. At 20 months old you may want to read it before bed