Help, No More Accidents!!!

Updated on December 05, 2006
S.E. asks from Elkins, AR
10 answers

My daughter turned 4 in September and she is still wetting the bed at night! I am so frustrated. We've tried eveything we can think of. Even getting her up 2-3 times at night. And still she's having accidents. She has severe eczema and pullup's really break her out and I'm tired of washing sheets and bed liners!!! Please, anyone with any suggestions I would be very grateful! Thank you!!!

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J.F.

answers from Little Rock on

My daughter is only 2 and still potty training but I use cheap panties with the plastic panties over them. You'll at least keep the sheets dry.

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L.A.

answers from Fayetteville on

I don't have any ideas about the bedwetting itself, but I was thinking maybe you could try a cloth diaper pull-up (find them on the internet). That would protect her skin from irritation and decrease your laundry. Also, I had difficulties getting through the night without wetting the bed when I was a child and it was so stressful and upsetting for me. It's like the stress and worry makes it happen, so try to keep her from feeling like you are upset with her or the situation. Those feelings in a child can make the situation worsen. Good luck, I know that must be frustrating.

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A.

answers from Houston on

Steaphanie I too do not have an answer for you on how to stop the bedwetting. Most of what I've read, lots of research attibute it to genetics. Someone in your family did it, maybe you or your husband. My 5 year old son who's about to be 6 is still doing it. We would go through periods of a couple of months when we would wake up dry and then we will go through another couple of months when he would wet the bed 2x. And I know how frustrating it is to have to change the sheets in the middle of the night bc you are in a deep needed sleep yourself. And then to have to do it 2, 3 times a night gets even more frustrating and then to wake up the next morning and have to put all those loads in the washer and then when they are done having to put them all away. I'm right there with you. But I have to tell you how important it is not to get on her case about it or not to show your frustration or disappointments.

I wet my bed until my early teens and every time my parents showed disappointment it just multiplied my own disappointment that much more. And girls are way more sensitive than boys. A couple of weeks ago, when my son woke up and discovered that he had wet the bed he started to cry the disappointed cry. You can tell the cry was of shame of himself, nothing we could say was helping him get out of it. Then the worst thing was that he started to hit himself in the forehead and called himself stupid. My hb and I looked at each other and we were so sad that we had put these thoughts in his head. He felt so ashamed of himself and a child of that age should not be feeling ashamed of his actions especially when he can not control it.

Most PEDs will tell you not to worry about it until they are late 6s or 7s. They are going into a very deep deep sleep and just are not noticing thier body's needs. I mean we've tried not giving him anything to drink 2 hours before bedtime. We've tried encouraging him B4 bed. We've tried, with his agreement, to have him wear pullups at nights, which he hated. We told him if he was dried 2 nights in arow then he won't need to wear it. But we still have accidents.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, this is something that they have and they can not control it. We have to do our best to build up their confidence so that they are not beating themselves up for it.

Good luck, and hang in there. Oh. about her skin have you had her checked out for a food allergy. I know of lots of kids that their reaction to a food allergy is to have ecsema and some get it really bad.

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L.K.

answers from New Orleans on

unfortunately, since bed wetting is not a conscious decision there isn't a whole lot you can do to prevent it. Up until the age of 9 bed wetting is not even considered an issue that needs to be addressed. If your daughter has problems with the pull-ups at night because of sensitive skin I agree with the last mother that cloth diapers may be a good option. But just like the last mother said, whatever you do try not to show your daughter that this upsets you... she can't control it and she will start getting angry at herself and having self-esteem issues if she feels like she's disappointing you and can't figure out how to stop. If you haven't already, you need to cut out all liquids after 7pm (something I did with my SD who was still wetting the bed at 7 & 8 years old) and make sure she uses the potty right before going to sleep. Waking her up at mid night or so to pee can't hurt either... if you find that she is still peeing after not drinking after 7 and using the bathroom twice after her last drink you may need to talk to her doctor... She may have an undersized bladder or a problem with not all the pee pee coming out when she sits on the potty. These are medical issues that could require surgery. But whatever the case just be patient and if the problem becomes too unbearable talk to her doctor...that's what he's there for.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

S.,

If you are really desperate, contact the Enuresis Treatment Center. You can find them on the web at www.nobedwetting.com They start working with kids at age 4 up to adults and have a very high success rate (about 97%).

Now here's the down side. For a child this age, they will tell you to expect treatment to take at least 6 months. And the bill is around $2400.

Best of luck,
S.

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A.P.

answers from Houston on

Have you talked to your pediatrician?

First at 4 some kids still have accidents especially if they are heavy sleepers. My son wet the bed occasionally up to almost 6, the other one stopped a bit earlier. Each kid is a bit different.

If she has other health problems though you may want to discuss with your doctor the possibility of other causes. Make note of her habits during the day time.. if she has to go does it come suddenly and does she have to go NOW? I had issues like that as a child and it was due to underdevloped kidneys or something. I took a pill for a while and over time it disappeared as I grew.

If none of this is the case, this is really sorta out there, but you can take your child to the chiropractor. Sometimes their spines are out of alignment and its pinching a nerve that causes problems especially when asleep, during the day its mind over matter. It sounds weird but find a good chiropractor and talk to them about it have them explain it to you.

In the mean time, you might think about getting some of those big blue pads for the bed like they use at the hospital, probably at a medical supply store. This may help so you don't have to wash the sheets every time.

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D.Y.

answers from Houston on

Try not giving her anything to drink 2 hours before bedtime. I had this problem with my eldest child and this was the only thing that made it work.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

You could have her practice strengthening her muscles that help control the release of urine by having her do kegel exercises. What I mean is when she goes to the bathroom to urinate, make it a game where she sees how many times she can stop peeing and start peeing and stopping and starting until she's finished. This worked for a family member of mine and I hope it will help yours as well. She did this and not too long afterward, there weren't any accidents. She would wake up as soon as she felt that muscle relax and she's run to the bathroom.
Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

I would say do not allow her to have anything to drink within a few hours of bedtime

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J.R.

answers from Little Rock on

I'm sorry that I can't comment more on this matter for you. All I wanted to say is just hang in there! And you didn't mention in your discussion whether you get onto your child about it or not. I've read that you should never get onto your child for wetting the bed. I've also read that a lot of children are still wetting the bed at age 4 so know that it's not just you.

My only recommendation would be to speak to her doctor. Maybe he or she will be able to see if there is something abnormal with her bladder or to comfort you by telling you that she'll grow out of it!

Wish you well,
J.

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