Help My Daughter Started Puberty!!

Hi S.,

Chasteberry extract, also called Vitex, is a plant that works very well to level out menstral and pre-menstral mood swings!! You can probably research it on the web. It is helpful for teens and adults and it is very subtle. No side effects or anything. The research I did showed no risks or ill effects from using it. It is also pretty affordable. Usually just one cap in the morning and the world is more manageable because it helps the body deal with the hormones. I get it at Whole Foods, Wild Oats or Vitaminshoppe.com

Good luck!!

L. C

Could be a hormone inbalance. I would talk to her pediatrician about it. There are thousands of books on this. Scary hu.. i had two girls at once and yes they were on occasion less then pleasant. she is probably confused to. Please ask the Dr for help....

I personally think we over medicate in the U.S....although there are times with especially my youngest it would really make my life easier. I love the comment of you can't control how you feel...but you can control how you act to others that one mom made. Love the give them space...and especially with a household of 8 kids....where is the privacy? She needs that - especially if she is having "dealing" times. I have 2 girls , 17 and 15, and a son 18. I found that leaving them space is the best "antidote" for moods. Also, she is not of you biologically...but she is of you husband...so if you can figure him out somewhat...you can her...that said - I don't think it matters genetically as we are ALL different.
Barb
Barb

First of all, let me say kudos to you on being a mother of 8!! Especially within a blended family; been there, and it's tough! As for your step-daughter, I would consult an OB/GYN about this.'PMS' as it is affectionately(?)called, causes not just physical discomfort, but biochemical shifts, sometimes in the extreme. There are various meds that can be given, but since you did not state her age, it would be a toss up which ones a doctor may not even consider. I know it does sound remedial, but my daughter and I use maximum strength Midol, which helps in several ways, and is over the counter. The mood swings may also be contributed to by the newness of it all and she needs time to 'discuss' it with someone- (you?) but if she feels like she just cannot control herself at this time of the month, and nothing else works, a prescription discussion with the doc may be the best thing- especially for your sanity...! Good luck!

I only partially read the replies so if someone already said some of this, just skip it. :)
I was one of those hormonally crazed teenagers. I hated it. I was at the mercy of my hormones. Looking back, I can think of two things I would change- 1. I would have exerciesed more. This would naturally raise testosterone and lower whatever female hormones were making me crazy at the time. 2. I would have eaten better. Junk food can make you feel awful and you just don't know it until you get off of it for a while. Read Healthy at 100 by John Robbins. It will explain more about the "healthy" eating that I am talking about. It describes people in their 100s that are incredibly health and spry and what they do to be that way. They don't have cancer, heart disease and all that. I am guessing they are not plagued by hormone imbalance either. It doesn't have to be all time consuming to make some of your own food from scratch either. If you are interested, let me know and I will share some tips for cutting down on the time. I have two little ones and I like my free time so I find shortcuts for everything. Anyway, I know you can't make her do these things, but you guys can make the changes as a family and hopefully it will carry over. Good luck.

P.S. I am not anti-medicine at all, but I try to do all this so I can be on a minimum amount of medication

I am a mom of 6 and the eldest sister of 5 girls. Periods don't have to be a bad time, even when someone has terrible mood swings. We all "take some time". When I notice my daughters getting moody, I say "take some time". They go to their room until they feel like joining the rest of us. It could be 5 minutes or 2 hours. I let them decide. If they come out grumpy, I send them back.
Lastly I teach my children that we can't always control what we feel, but we can certainly control how we behave. So even when we feel bad, we have to treat others with respect or we can't be around them.
Good luck to you - A. M

I have a 13 year old daughter (as well as a 5 and 6 and a boy 11), I agree with most of the people who have already responded. Medicine is a last resort but, if you do it, try to go natural. Chemicals can make things worse for her health.
We are also a blended family, I found good advice for my new husband on how to handle my teenage daughter. One good book is "Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce, The Sandcastle Way". It suggests that one way to relieve major tension is to limit if not exclude all discipline by the step parent. At these ages, they don't take even the slightest suggestion from a step parent well. Good luck, people keep telling me it gets better again!

Hi! My name is B.. I'm 27 and have a beautiful 4 year old. I, like you, dread those puberty years that lay ahead, but when reading your blog it came to me that Midol is made up of 500mg Acetaminophen/ 60mg Caffine and 15mg of pyrilamine. I dont know how old your step-daughter is, but i know that you can take this drug safley (basically suped up tylenol) at 12. Typically the dose is two pills, the box says over 12 take 2. I remember starting at 11 and my mom gave me one of the kind they made at the time. They helped me a lot. Nothing ever got rid of the pre-pubesent "mood swings" "attitude" or "i'm a big girl you have no say" but it did relieve a lot of my pain, discomfort, cramps, bloating and aches that caused my moods to worsen. You might just give her these to start with, the rest is likley out of your hands for a while. :) good luck.

Hi S.,

You don't say how old your step daughter is but you may want to make sure she doesn't have a UTI, my niece had one and it was causing syptoms that would be like a menstrual period but in fact this is what it was. I would take her to the Dr. and have it checked out to be sure.

As a mother of three teenage daughters, I know your daughter needs just one thing-PRIVACY. Give her lots of space and patience. For example, when she comes home from school, let her have an hour of alone time without siblings bothering her. Give her her own drawer in the bathroom cabinet to store private stuff. However, keep a close eye an her health. Make sure she gets a multivitamin/mineral for her age and plenty of sleep. Medicine isn't necessary if she's healthy unless she needs Tylenol/Ibuprofen for pain. A couple of years from now you'll be proud of the beautiful young lady she has become!

I was like that for years and years. The key I've discovered is good nutrition (I mean virtually no junk food) and making sure she's getting enough omega-3 fatty acids. In my research I found that these are particularly important for the brain, which is what sets the mood. The other thing is to never suggest that her period or entering puberty is bad. These are normal processes and if she feels like there is something wrong with her it might make her more moody.

I don't know how old your step-daughter is, but there is an excellent product called (and I'm not kidding...) Happy PMS Cream. I used it for years, then stopped because I thought I was doing better. Big mistake! It's all natural, and you rub it on thin skin areas. It really helps with the PMS symptoms, especially the mood swings. I've referred several friends to it, and we all swear by it. I'm usually skeptical about products like this, but this one really works! I get it from www.beyondfertility.com. You can ask the owner if your step-daughter is old enough to use it.

Good luck!

First of all,good luck. Have you tried a B complex supplement? There is a product you can by at the health food stores called 'Perfect B' it is a liquid you squirt in your mouth and hold then swallow. It is a wonderful product and works well on my daughter who turns into a monster a week before she starts. It doesn't taste great but it is not too bad. You can get it at Akins in the Fremont shopping center(springfield), or most health food stores.There are many brands so get what you can find, the liquid part is the most important because it calms almost immediately. Of course if she is on any medications or even as a precaution you should consult her MD first. I have also told my daughter that she has to realized her hormones change during this part of the month and while I sympathize with her it is not an excuse for her to mistreat or misbehave. She must learn to recognize her body changes and work through the emotions that come with those changes. Emily started fairly young and we had a week long celebration of womanhood. She received flowers at school, a gift basket full of bath soaps, hygeine products, and all sorts of pamper yourself products and of course a huge chocolate bar. I held her out of school on the Friday of that week and we had a mom and daughter day with facials and manicures and a nice lunch at a tea room. Hope some of this helps. Oh, the Perfect B is great for us moms who have stress in our lives too.

S.,
I can relate. I am on the depoprovera shots for birth control and have not had a period since 1991. My daughter is now 17, and when she started she was unbearable. I talked to her dr. and she suggested Pamprin. She starts taking it a week before her cycle starts and takes it untiil her 3rd. day and it has helped her. She still is a little moody, but we can at least stand to be around her for the most part.
Good Luck!!

My Lord, We all should pray for you.You have more than your share. I hate to say this but,fter going through this with a niece it does not get better. Is she your step daughter. We had niece in counseling, she just told then what ever she wanted them to hear. Finally you mom put her on zololt. I can jusy tell you from my experience with all my nieces it does not gett easier. Notice if she starts to hurt aa animal. I kept my sister child ans did not get him help soon enough. The said after he killed my dog being mean to animals is the first they have real problems. Poor you girl. If she is just going through puberty it moat likely is that and you have about 4 more years. I am sorry to sound so harse but gals these days have to fear, no respect, and no one that they are sared to answer too! If she is really hurting the kids you need to get her help right away. If it is just bicking and a little bullying sit down and let her know you are going to do wwhat it takes to help her. Let her know in no uncertain terme, she will not treat others that way. Gosh you are in a bind with all the other kids, and a son with autism. Is she mad at you, my nephew and niece thought they were not getting enought attention. Love her as much as you can, but tell her loving her means making her be the best she can. Hormones aare hell, and she can't help. Are there issues with her mom and you, or father. A mixed family is so much harder, they aall want special attention. I just read step- daughter. i bet she so wants daddy's attention and may be made at you and others for no reason. What part does her Mom play. i think alot more informaton is needed. You can not afford to ignore, but you have your handsfull. Is there any family help. Will she talk to anyone.Please feel free to email me, I have been broken hearted over this issue andd i pray we all remember you in our orayer. Just un case have her checked out, but don't just let them throw her on medicine it is a very short fix and really a jump if just puberty,J. Get back with me and i will give you my email, i will pray and help anyway i can, God Bless your heart. Ask her Daddy to pay special attention to her now, or she will get it else where!

Oh, scary bigtime! I was a monster 2 wks. before I started my period when I was 12 yrs. old and tore up my bedroom 2 weeks before I started. Plus, I was mean to my parents then too. Thank God I didn't continue that and also that my 13 yr. old daughter didn't do that too. Maybe counseling and medicine can help. but I would make medicine a last resort, only if it's really needed. I would talk to the other sisters and brothers, carefully wording this to them especially the boys, in their age appropriate way and the boys just a little bit but not all the details. I hope and pray this all gets controlled better and that you all are happier in the long run! Good luck!

I would get her to a gyno and talk w/ the doc about her mood swings. There may be more to it than just her puberty like a chemical imbalance, but for starters I would just talk to her dr and see if there isn't anything he would recommend.

I have two boys so far and I gotta say, I've always wanted a daughter, but all of my nieces are making me wonder if that is really a good idea! Wonder if all the talk about the hormones in the chickens is really true? :)

I am a 52 yr old M. of three grown girls, and I had horrible PMS, believe me it is real. all 3 girls expereince it in some form, but one is awful. Mine got worse as I got older and the 3 of us living together through it was at times pure torture!! especially for my very onery and patient hubby. He didn't know when to shut up! Talk to her doctor, and don't take the it's not real cr&^% from anyone. It is like you can't control your own mouth, thoughts, actions, anything and even though you know it is happening, you still can't change it. I feel for her and the rest of you. The only peace I had in 30 yrs was after my hysterectomy..Good luck.

there's a 'nuwatti' herbal tea that is supposed to help with this. find it at natural food stores. also a more common 'celestial seasonings' called 'dragon time.' i use it myself.