HELP!!!! My Child Doesnt Stop Screaming...

We used the cry it out method - it may take days - but it worked for us - it is important that they learn to entertain themselves and be "alone" so I would do something - even if it is not the cry it out method.

Just like she learned that you will always be there for her no matter what, she needs to learn that you are still there even if you aren't holding, playing, sleeping with her every minute.
Get a routine going to get her taking naps in her crib-diaper change, book, nap. And after that goes good, work on bed time. Talk to her about sleeping in her own bed and how fun it is. As far as playing with her, if you leave the room and you know she is in a safe place for you go to the bathroom, grab a snack, etc then let her cry. Tell her first that mommy is going to go potty, go to the kitchen and you'll be right back. Talk to her while you are in the other room so she can hear your voice. It probably won't help her at first but over time she'll learn that just because she can't see you doesn't mean you've totally left her. You need to resist the urge to run back to the room she is in and pick her up too.

Good luck
S.

As far as the cleaning/chores at 1 she can "help" a bit. If you are folding clothes give her a few washcloths and have her pretend to fold them and such.

She is screaming when you put her in the crib because she doesn't know what it's for and doesn't understand why you are putting her there. You are going to have to start a routine so that she learns what to expect and what is expected. It's going to take time for her to learn and understand what she is supposed to do. Try starting with naps. Tell her when it nap time, begin a soothing routine, soft music, a story, a bit of warm milk-whatever works for your family and get her used to naps in her crib then tackle the night stuff. I would also get her ready for bedtime in her room prior to starting to tackle night sleep so she gets used to being in her room as part of going to bed routine.

She is also at an age where separation anxiety is high so you have to be patient and it will pass.

I have a 10 month old and went through the same thing. She started pulling up in her crib and falling at 6 months so I freaked out and would hold her until she was sleep. She started teething (adding to this) and we had restless nights. I couldn't handle it anymore! My friends and inlaws urged me to put her down at night and let her cry. I had mixed feelings about it, because I hate to hear her cry and I don't want her to feel abandoned. So here is what I did. I put her down when she was tired. ( I do not let her nap past 4pm. ) For 2 nights, she cried for about 45 minutes. I have a little baby einstein musical lullaby soother. it plays music and is on the side of her crib. After that, I kept putting her down everynight, telling her it was bedtime and that I loved her. She still cries when I put her down. She gets upset when I go in the room and turn off lights because she knows it is time for bed, but her crying only last 3 minutes now. I did not want to do it, but it was the best thing I did. I am able to sped more time with my other child and I am able to get stuff done at night in the house. It also has made me feel so much better. Before this, I did not get a full nights sleep. If you are really concerned, you could always go to your pediatrician and talk about it.
Good luck and let me know how it is going
V.

you are going to have to let her cry i out. i know thats hard but you have spolied her( i did it to my son) but you have things to do and you also have to get your rest. put her in the play pen a do whatever chores you have to do she will eventually see that she can survive. she knows that the screaming gets to you babies are way smarter then we think lol. good luck

Ok I am Mommy to 4 (ages 18 down to 2) and caregiver to 4 more.. letting her cry a lil will NOT have life long negative effects..as other Moms have pointed out you need to make a routine of it.. dinner, bath, read her a book.. tell her bedtime, rock her a lil and while she is sleepy but awake, lay her down.. every 10 to 15 mins go in QUIETLY and ck on her.. the first few nights will be the worst but slowly she will get it.. you will just have to be consistant.. do the exact same thing every night.

As far as the playing on her own goes.. are you giving her brightly colored toys that make noise to play with? Find some fun, bright and noisy toys that she only gets to play with while you need to get things done.. does she have an exersaucer? if not I would get her one.. it will allow her to be upright, stand, jump and play.. she will love it!! Just put her where she can see you.. And as Im sure you know.. always make time for her every day at the same time.. CONSISTANCY is the key.. and when you do have play time with her.. give her your full attention.. no tv, phone.. chores nothing, just one on one with you.. like it has been said she is only lil once.. you can enjoy her and still get stuff done. I hope this helps. God bless you!!!

I used YokaReeder.com for help with this kind of problem.
Best, k

Patience is the best bit of advice I can give. Well, also to read "Good Night, Sleep Tight" - I've posted in this forum several times how this book changed my life. We made every mistake in the book with our first daughter and 11 months old we had to fix it and get her sleeping in her own room. I'm not a fan of the harsh cry-it-out methods at all. I read a short article in a parenting magazine about this book's technique and I had to get the book because it sounded very do-able.

It does involve some crying usually, but you are in the room with the child which makes a world of difference. The technique doesn't have to be followed to a "T", I made small adjustments to my comfort level, and it took a couple of weeks but it worked and I have the best sleeping kids of anyone I know.

One of my favorite things about this book is that busy moms don't have to read the whole book to put it to use - just read the chapter that describes how it works, then the chapter that is appropriate to your child's age or problem. It's the best advice I can offer you - if you want to read about my experience with my daughter's sleep issues and some more about the book, see my article here: http://hubpages.com/hub/sleep-training-good-night-sleep-t...

(BTW, I have absolutely no affiliation with the book or author, I'm just a HUGE fan and would recommend it to everyone I know!)

Best of luck!

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, she will not be able to calm herself because she may have a self regulation dysfunction or sensory processing disorder. This is very common in children today. If you live in Ft Laud, I would have her evaluated by the team at Therapeeds in Davie. They know more then any other place around how to take care of this issue. If she is under one, she can be screened for free. If not, let me know and I can hook you up with someone else familiar with this type of thing.

I would be very careful about crying it out as a solution. This can be very stressful for the child and have life long negative effects.

Start out by giving yourself a mental and emotional break. You are mom - remember that you love your child, this is not an insurmountable task and frankly the chores are not as important as your sanity or your childs.

I would start by getting her involved. Have her walk away from you. Go to the play ground and you sit calmly while she finds something that interest her. Put her favorite toy in the next room where she can see it and have all the other toy put away. Let her go over to the toys and you stay in sight.

Take it easy and you relax. She is also responding to your tension. To your feelings of being alone and away from family.

Is there a mom and baby group in your area, where she may be able to interact with other kids her age? Give her chances to get interested in something other than you so she will move away on her own. It may take time, patience is a virtue and no one's life ultimately begins or ends with housework being done.

Get her out in the world, the sun the trees these things clam the nerves and mind - touching natural things will help her to feel safe in the world.

Some kids get really attached, you didnot make a horrible mistake by becoming close to your child, stop torturing yourself. Breathe and bring some compassion in for all of you.

Be very careful about taking a position that puts you against your daughter - that will make it worse. When she is 13 having her count on you will be a huge blessing.

Happiness is not a clean house - it is a loving house. If your husband is demanding, explain that right now the baby and families mental health comes before chores. That you want to be sure that she is mentally healthy for the sake of everyone and the future of the family. If he is willing to take a turn to give you a little time to bath and be on your own in the evening that will help you to calm the mind. Stop listening to the self critism in your head - it does not help it makes matters worse. Being afraid and upset will make this harder. She is only a baby once - read to her and relax, with children everything passes except anger, so don't be upset, really it all works out and you are not the first one like this. It could be that she would be a clinging kid no matter what.

Remember that you love her and she is only little a short time. Stop blaming yourself.

first of all don´t worry because this stage will pass. there are some ways to go back to the crib. I know it is hard...
1) she sleeps in your bed and you pass her to the crib when she is sleeping....she will wake up after some hours or minutes and cry, you go to the crib and sit beside her, touching her...she still cries, you take her in your arms, kiss her, explaining to her that she has to sleep in her crib etc...when she stops, you put her again....then she cry again....you take her again in your arms till she stops...10 times, 20 times, 84 times,....this is tracy hugg´s way, she will see that you are fixed and strong and she´ll get tired to insist and sleep... you have to be prepared to be awake almost all night...may be for three nights (sounds awfull but it works)
2) You pass her to her room but to a bed, you lay with her reading some baby books, you wait till she sleeps the first days then you start to let her before she sleeps saying some things like, wait a minute I am coming back, I am going to the bath room and come back to be with you....probably she will sleep while waiting....you have to put fence in the bed, pillows aroun the bed etc.....
3) You let her sleep with you till 3 - 4 y o , you enjoy her, smell her, hug her little body, don´t listen to the "experts" and friend that says that this is very bad and stuff like that and then you pass her to sleep with her sister (if you plan to have a new baby) or brother in a bed. This is what I did whith my first daugther and we where very happy. My firs and second daughters hated the crib since born so they slept in beds since around six moths old, my 3rd (a boy) loves his crib so much and he is 3 y o and I will let him there till 4 may be
Good luck
Good Luck

Hi, firstly I'd look at myself, as most young complaints disappear when mom is calm, patient and loving. I find if I'm irritated and anxious, my 2yr old son seems to have endless skin complaints. And as soon as I'm myself again, those problems go away. Take the 15 minutes to lie down with her, while you yourself are calm and relaxed. Just ensure her all the time when you are about to leave her that you are nearby. My children still sleep with me in bed. And they will also sleep alone. Hope this helps,
Tess

You did not make a mistake by bonding with your daughter. She is only one, of course she doesn't want to be without you at night or during the day. There is a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" Check it out, it will be very helpful for you. Also, during the day, try wearing her in a sling or a carrier. I love the Ergo. You will be hands free, and she will have the closeness she craves.

It is normal behavior as they get older but the more attention you give her for it, the more she will do it. The best thing to do is make sure she is safe and ignore her. Get earplugs or listen to music. Just make sure you take them out to check on her. She can go 10-15 minutes before you should intervene. Give her hugs and kisses, then put her back and start over. After awhile she will do it less and you can add more time before picking her up. Eventually it will stop altogether. The same applies with playing. Put her in a safe area with toys and do what you need to do. I have 4 kids. If they didn't sleep and play well on their own, I would never accomplish anything. Following a set routine at bedtime helps to. For us it's just teeth brushing, hugs and kisses, a song for the two younger kids, tuck in and goodnight. After that, no more attention unless something is wrong.