Help My 2 Year Old Will Not Sleep in Her New Big Girl Bed!!

sorry I had to laugh , poor parents get so excited to make the big girls room, the time to get a big girls bed is when she is climbing out of the crib, put her crib in her room, and when she is ready she will start climbing out of the crib and on to her bed,

My personal opinion is she's not ready, she's too young. Let her stay in her crib awhile longer. Good luck.

You have time to get her in her big girl bed before the baby comes. Dont rush it. Perhaps it is too much of a transition for her. A new room and a new bed???? Maybe one or the other? Good luck. Dont rush the growing up process, you cant get it back once it is gone. Let her sleep in her crib. If it means she is going to sleep for you, go for it. That way you too will get some sleep!

Umm...sorry or asking but is there a pressing reason for the switch right now? If not ...she doesn't sound like she is ready.

If you absolutely need her to sleep separately please realize that this is super scary or a very small person. My son (at four) asked another mom how she would feel being exiled to a room by herself, that she, scared, did not want to go to, did not understand why she was being made to, and then asked to just relax and go to sleep with all the fear, anger and betrayal.....

Nice perspective, I thought.....a dog helps, by the way.Rover hates to sleep alone too so your daughter sometimes can be convinced to keep Rover company in her own bed.

Usually the easiest is just waiting till they are ready.

Just try to see it from her perspective and you'll do great whatever way you go.

You could try asking her what she needs to feel okay sleeping in the other room....she may come up with the perfect solution, after all, who knows her better than herself?

Thanks for being loving, caring parents and being sensitive to your child. It pays off!!!!! Mine's 18 now and AWESOME!!!!!!

Deb

I was in a similar situation 2 years ago - son was 2 and a baby on her way; I decided, however, to keep my son in his crib and got a hard-wood portable crib (pretty strudy) for the baby. My plan was to give my son more time to grow out of his crib, and not have to rush my baby out of a tiny bassinet. My son was VERY happy with his crib, so the plan worked out really well. During the first 2 months of the baby's life, she sometimes cried in the middle of the night but it didn't wake my son at all because he was so content and secure in his crib. We moved a twin size mattress to his room a week ago (just before he turned 4), and he was ready, and jump right on it and slept through the night. He has been happy with his big bed for a week now, but I keep the crib in his bedroom just in case. Now at 18 months, my daughter is just starting to grow out of her portable crib, so if it all goes well, I can move her to my son's crib in a couple of weeks.

Now, all kids are different, so I am not trying to tell you what you should do. This is just what worked for us! I do believe that giving my son that extra security of his own crib during the early days of the baby sibling helped a lot! Good luck!

For the first few weeks of the transition I would stay in my twins' room at nap and bedtime until they were asleep--or heading in that direction. Mostly this was to ensure they didn't bother each other but it seemed to work great for bedtime. After a few weeks they were adjusted.

As for naps--I always stayed until they were asleep. I loved to relax and doze off too and it made sure they didn't get silly.

Any transition is difficult for a little kid. They take a while. Just choose a routine and stick with it. Nothing lasts forever but your overall goal is sleep independence. Just keep that in mind.

C.

What is the rush? And why are you changing her room AND her bed? Why can't she at least stay in her own room if you insist on changing her bed? Or why not change her room, but put the crib in her new room and get the baby it's own crib? Your daughter has enough changes coming up in her life without any unnecessary, drastic changes being added. If you are inflexible on those issues, you have at least 5 months until she apparently "has" to be out of her crib for the new baby. Give her some time to get used to the idea of the new room and the new bed. After it has been all set up for a few month, and with her being a few months older, it may be easier. Don't hurry her into it. Why not try laying on the new bed with her for story time every day for a few months? Play with her on the new bed. Allow her the time to feel comfortable with it. I am the mom of four, and I often had two in cribs at the same time. Two year olds often just feel more comfortable in a crib. It represents safety, security and continuity to them, and isn't that what we want for our kids, especially with a new baby on the way?

Wht we did was to move the crib into the big boy room and let our son sleep in the crib in there for a while.(with the rail down he could get in and out himself so it was a step toward the big bed)After a while he would let us put him down to sleep in the big bed but when we'd check on him later or by morning he would always end up in the crib on his own! So it did seem to take a little while to transition. After a while he just started sleeping in the big bed without a problem. I do like the idea of whoever said to put the crib mattress on the floor in the new room. That sounds like it would work just as well without having to put the whole crib in the new room? Good luck! It will happen, don't worry! :-)OH! And get a nightlight for sure!!

Hi H.,
My son hated his crib but when we put the bed in his room he wanted the crib back - so I left the crib and the bed in the room for a few months. He went back and forth for between the 2 and with his permission we finally got rid of the crib. Maybe that will help. You also may want a brighter night light. My son had me leave the hallway light on while he went to sleep.

Good luck! She'll eventually sleep in her bed.

I would say that she isn't ready for the change, and to try it again in a month or two. I didn't transition my son until he was 2 yrs 4 months and it was too early. Now at almost 3, he is still giving us trouble. You don't want to push it- in my opinion, it will backfire.

good luck!

Hi H.. Don't stress. Your daughter just isn't ready. You have plenty of time before your second baby comes. Let your daughter sleep in her crib for a while longer and then try again.

We ran into a similar snag with our daughter as we made the transition in the last few weeks. I didn't want my daughter to think I was taking her bed away from her to give to our new baby so we waited till after my son was born to really start trying the big move. And luckily, my infant son is quite happy in his bassinet in Mom's room until the crib is free.

We built "a nest" out of the crib matress, pillows and blankets on the floor. This helped because the feeling of the matress was familiar to her. Since the matress wasn't in the crib any longer, it wasn't an option to get back in the crib. I let my daughter be with me as I removed the matress and let her dictate how I built her nest. Now she's excited as can be to sleep in her special area. And in a few weeks, I'll move her "nest" to her big-girl bed which has been quietly waiting in the corner of her room for about 5 months now. :-) Meanwhile her crib is sitting totally empty in her room so she can see it isn't an option to go back to.

You have plenty of time before the new baby. Wait a bit and try again. Don't give up!!!!

Have you tried making sure she has a night light in there and maybe putting up a bed rail will make her feel more like she's in her crib. Also, put the same sheets and blankets on, even if they don't fit.

The problem might not be with the bed itself, but with change. She's gonna have a baby brother or sister AND she has to change rooms - most likely it is a security issue. If she still takes naps start transitioning her during nap time. If not don't stress - At dinner, remind her that she will be sleeping in her new bed - don't debate with her, just let her know and then hear her out & acknowledge where she is at. Then about an hour later do the same thing... repeat until bed time. At bedtime, do your routine with her and then tell her that you are going to sit with her (get a chair and put it next to her bed but make sure that you are not in constant contact with her). If she awakens during the night go back to the chair and reassure her (stay until she sleeps again). The following day move the chair an inch or two closer to the door and each night thereafter an inch or two - you might need to modify this according to your needs.

This is just transition. Some people put a timer and will only stay for like 20 minutes but with my son I preferred to stay close and then had a baby monitor on him so that my husband or I could be there when he needed us. This did work but it took patience and my husband and I both had to keep the routine.

It's difficult to know what your little girl is thinking and feeling... all you can do is reassure her that she is safe and that you and daddy love her. Also, you might (if funds allow) want to get her a "dimmer" lamp in addition to the night light and also, if you have a favorite CD that plays soothing music, it helps to have that playing through the night.

Good luck - she will transition, but you need to let her know that there is no more crib after "X" amount of time. If she thinks she'll get to be in the crib after trying your patience then she'll continue to try to do so.

Take care,
T.

You guys sound awesome! I know it seems so bad right now, but try to remember that with kids this age, they are just so emotional, plus that push-pull of wanting to be "big" but still needing your security so much. I've done this 3 times, so my advice to you is keep being so reassuring and not forcing the issue at all! Because of her age, she will need to have control over this decision, and when she chooses, all will go smoothly. But you can add incentive! Perhaps "when you choose to sleep in your bed, there will be a special treat in the morning" like an inexpensive "prize" or a trip to get donuts or something. Just keep the hugs & reassurance going, but pressure off.
It'll be ok soon. Good luck with baby #2!
M.

H., you did right by including her and talking with her,the only thing I can think of was maybe too much too soon. Meaning the room change still in her crib for awhile then take the crib rails off if thats possible,then start talking with her about the big girl bed. I have to say GOOD JOB with including her and talking with her that in itself is a big help even though it did not turn out like I thought it woulg. Remember do only what you think is good for you and your child.It sounds like after you 20 min of her crying and then you putting her in her crib is what she needed and wanted.Nothing wrong with her being in her crib awhile longer. Good luck and let ne know what you ended up doing that worked because I'm right behind you. J.

Hi H.. I am Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach and I always advise clients to keep their children in a crib until at least 3 years old. 2 is young to be in a big bed. Sometimes for children too much freedom can be scary. They like the boundaries of their crib, it makes them feel safe. If you need the crib for your new baby then I would let your daughter get used to having the big bed in her room and maybe playing or napping in it. Eventually she will be interested in sleeping in it, but let it be her choice. If you need more help you can visit my website at www.theindependentchild.com Hope this helps,
K.

Seems like there is just too much change going on right now. I know you want to transition her well before baby #2 comes, but you may need to wait a few more months. When do "give the baby the crib" have her pick out the bedding and make the bed.

Change is always hard for little ones. I can tell you what worked for both of my girls (now 7 and 4).

We put the new bed together but left the crib in the room too. At bedtime, we told the girls that they could choose which bed to sleep in. The both chose the big bed the first night and never went back. We left the crib up for a couple of weeks and asked every night which bed they wanted, and every night they chose the big bed. Once the new pattern was established, we removed the crib. Voila!

I think the key is to put her in control of the situation. She had one bad experience, so it may take her a little longer to adjust, but just let her have the power and she will choose the big bed when she's ready.

Best of luck to you!!

Have you tried just having her nap in the new room and big girl bed? We did that for the first couple of days and our daughter WANTED to sleep in her bed at night. Maybe it's scary in the dark?

I would not push it. It may turn into a battle of wills. Instead, I'd give her the option, "Do you want to sleep in the big girl room or in the crib." Let her choose and repond happily with her answer. If you say things like "only babies sleep in cribs" or that type of thing, it not only may make her feel sad, but also work against you and she starts in with I'm a baby.
Get her dressed in the big girl room, snuggle up with books in the big girl room. Maybe even try nap time in the big girl room. You've done a great job in letting her be part of the process, I think you need to continue that.
She'll move out!! Give her some time, you've got 5 months!! :)

When we put my son's new bed in his room, we also left his crib there. The new bed was just for playing for quite a few days until he was ready to completely re-locate. If I remember correctly, after a few days he was napping in it, but it took longer for him to move to it at night. We probably had both in his room for 1-2 weeks, at aleast. But it worked and we had no trauma or tears.

Have you tried a bed tent (you can find these at Target.com) and maybe LOTS of big stuffed animals with your smell/perfume on them?

She might not be ready. My son wouldn't sleep in his big boy bed either. Give her some time and let her know it's okay. Play up the big girl aspect though and try her for naps first like the other girl did. Bottom line though don't get frustrated if she's resistant at first. She'll make the transition, it just might take longer than you thought. Good luck.

awee I feel fo ryou, I JUSt transitioned my 22 month old into his new toddler bed last night, and he slept like a rock. what I did, ws I had a tv high up on the stand that he couldn't reach and it would play contiously forty five minutes of sleepy time music. He loved it Howeve tonight I went in and he was sitting u in hs bed crying like having niht terrors.. So I took him into my room where I have the crib set up, JUSt in case he's not ready and he didn't wnt it either... he just wanted to be rocked back to sleep. He's feeling like a big boy, but hestill wants to be a baby. I found that since I put the rocking chair in there, and play the music, he'll often look at me and say mama "tank you"... and he'll go to sleep..then he'll wake up and say okay, night night now... an I an put him to bed and he sleeps longer actually. In the middle of the night I slip a few books in there with some crackers and fresh botte of water and he plays in his room for about half hour by himself. Hes on of those babies who likes to be alone and not coddled too much unless hes teething or fussy. It give me HALF hour of more sleep! And I know since his room is completely baby safe, he's okay in there. Thank god he can't open doors yet... those door locks should be here any day!!! hahah.. Maybe your baby just needs a little extra hug, as he's not feeling like a baby anymore and isn't ready to give up her babhood just yet.. itll get easier... if you do what theother mom suggested which wsa take the mttress out of the crib, and say d you want to sit on those prickly springs? OUCH... then she might opt to sleep with you then you can move her into her bed... I hope it goes well... me and you both! This is only the second night, last night went FABULOUS, tonight was my first night terror... goodness me! TELL ME HOW IT GOES!!!
S.

It's a big change...my son is two and I discovered that he wasn't ready yet, when I had a hard time with him 'freaking' out when I got up once I thought he was asleep. Also tried laying on the floor while he was falling asleep...it just isn't time yet. And, really it's more about me being okay with giving him more time (another few months) than it is about something being wrong with his room, bed or anything else. My son has picked out all his sheets, comforter and the whole nine yards and still refuses to sleep there, so I will wait.

Right now, we do naps in the 'big boy bed' and visit his 'McQueen Bed' before bed and we read a story there before we go to bed in our bed. Since, we co-sleep I'm antcipating more time in the transition process and that's okay with me.

Two is such a transitional age, I'm finding out, and my son's needs change ALL the time. One day he's upset I'm leaving for work and then next he can't wait for me to be out the door or jump into Dad's car for their morning time together. So, just give her time. Make it about her growing up and being a big girl...create a special routine that invovles the bed but, doesn't make the bed something she will be apprehensive about using.

I've seen friends who have made the transition without any issues, and for a while I wondered what was I doing wrong?? And, truly I just have to remind myself everyday to not have any expectations for my son and let him guide me as I guide him on our daily adventures.

Good luck! And, keep up the good work!

My DD had the same problem when we transitioned her. I wil share what worked for us.

Does she still take naps? Try having her take naps for a few days in her big girl bed. Use her bed as a place to get ready for bed, read stories etc. Try a week of this. Ease her into the transition a little slower. Her crib is a place of safety for her. It is so hard for them to understand the change. Good luck.

Heater, put the crib in her new room for a while so she can get used to the change and try again in a month or so. good luck

If you aren't due until April, what's the rush? There isn't a magic age at which a baby needs to move out of the crib. I'd convert the crib to a toddler bed first to get her used to climbing in and out of a bed. Then, in a few months, start having her nap in the big girl bed. After she gets used to that, maybe in Dec. or Jan., move her in at night so she'll be used to her new room when the new baby comes home. Good luck! :)

Try changing just one thing at a time. Is it more important to you for her to sleep in the big girl bed, or to sleep in the new room? Start with whatever is more important, that way she only has one new thing to get used to at a time. Good luck!!

If your motivation to move her from the crib is so you will have it in time for the new baby, I would say to let her stay in the crib longer. I don't have a lot of experience, but this is what we have experienced with my two babies. I have 3 1/2 year old and 2 1/4 year old sons - the first stayed in his crib until 2 months before his 3rd birthday (I moved him to a toddler bed because we were getting ready to potty train). My 2 year old is still in his crib and loves it, I don't plan to move him out of it until he is ready to potty train, or 3 years old, whichever is sooner. My 3 year old has only recently (past 6 months or so) began to be interested in being a "big boy" and my 2 year old doesn't seem to be intrigued by the potential to be a "big boy" yet (he is 27 months), so maybe your daughter is just a little young still. Let her be the baby for a little while longer and I'm sure she will be very interested in being a "big girl" and the big sister by the time baby #2 is born! Hope this helps!

Hi H., what my husband and I did, was we put the crib mattress on the floor, placed all of our sons stuffed animals around the mattress, we started all 3 of our kids like this before going into a twin bed, I wanted to do this this way because they moved around so much in their sleep i was worried they would fall off the bed, but when our first born was sleeping that way we also put up bunk beds ( twin set) up, and we just let him go into the twin bed when he was ready, we figured the twin bed would be tempting at some point and it was, and the first few nights we kept the crib mattress on the floor just in case he changed hi mind then we picked it up and transford all his stuffed animals on to the twin bed. J. L.