HELP!!!! Loosing My Mind over My 16 Month Olds Eating Habits. Need Advice Now!!!

another rec for the Ellyn Satter book "Child of Mine, Feeding with Love and Good Sense" - I was able to relax a LOT more after reading that it is a totally normal developmental phase for a toddler to reject just about any food you offer (even ones they might have been gobbling down just weeks ago) because they're learning to assert their independence and want to try things on *their* terms, not their parents' terms. So you just keep offering the healthy choices, even when it seems all she does is reject them, because she'll try them when she decides she's ready to try them.

sounds like what my daughter put me through- I became a Mommy Vending Machine. She didn't like the first 4 things I tried, so I kept trying and ran myself ragged in the process. Then I got the the breaking point- and made her meals a consistent, unwavering routine (in terms of time), and I would put down a meal 3 times a day and 2/3 snacks on a set interval. Don't get caught up in what adults think meals are- just think of them as "feeding times". There should be 5-6 times a day where she has an opportunity to eat. Don't look at what she eats in a single day either- look at her food intake over the course of a week. If she refuses to eat whatever you give her for meal #1, put the food away, and make her wait for opportunity #2. You can serve the same thing, or something new- either way- you are controlling the interval, and she is controlling her appetite.
If she eats- Yay! If not, there will be other chances. The first few days are the bumpiest- don't give in! Establish control and the routine- then she will have her control in whether she eats or not.

No healthy child has starved themselves to death- You just need to re-establish a modicum of control through the routine. You'll feel better and I bet she'll be less picky in no time.

Best luck!

You're experiencing one of the commonest worries of parents with young children. What I hear you describing is a child who eats high-quality foods. Who is holding her place on the growth curve. Whose doctor is not concerned. Who has a very small stomach. Who has an anxious mommy poking food at her constantly. Whose appetite is extremely normal for her age.

It's a wonder how many children grow, play, and develop normally in spite of their parents' convictions that "they don't eat anything!" In truth, I think that the parents notice mostly what they don't eat (that the parents want them to) and don't notice so much what they DO eat, which is adequate for toddlers, especially when they are between growth spurts.

My grandson is a light eater, and his parents go through phases of worrying about it or letting it be. Either way, he's growing, he's healthy and happy, he has plenty of energy. Somehow, it works! So unless your daughter is sliding off the bottom of the growth chart, I hope you'll take a few deep breaths and realize she's eating normally for her age. Better than many of her peers, actually, because you indicate that you offer her only nutritious foods.

Hi J.

You've gotten great advice so far. I'll add my suggestion that you get "Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter. It's a great book and you will feel much less stressed and more confident after you read it.

Offer your child food at the table, with your company, TV off. A selection of protein, fruit/veggie and carb at each session (should be at least 5 meal-times/day). She eats what she wants, as much as she wants of whatever you're offering at that meal. It's her decision. The next mealtime will be whatever schedule you have picked (should be within 2-3 hours). You offer her another selection, she eats (or doesn't) as she likes.

Don't worry, she will not starve herself. As long as you are putting more effort into her eating than she does, she won't be challenged to take responsibility for her body and her appetite.

Get the book. You'll feel better, I promise!
best of luck
C.

Don't worry too much about your daughter's eating habits. My older son pretty much didn't eat anything until he was almost three. He drank a lot of milk which seemed to be enough for him. I think she probably gets most of her calories still through breastfeeding.
Both my boys really enjoyed whole wheat toast with butter and jam. I always use the double fruit jam with less sugar and more fruit. Later, when they were old enough for peanut butter I changed from butter to peanut butter for additional proteins.

there is no normal for kids, just normal for your daughter, which this is! She will grow into being less picky, but it will take time. [My 7yo son just admitted that mashed potatoes are indeed yummy, after turning his nose up at them his whole life.] Keep repeating your doctor's words, that she is still on track, it's OK, she's fine. If she needs more calories, she will get them, she'll eat when she needs to. Clearly right now she IS getting what she needs, or she wouldn't be able to pass anything up. Right now I suppose her exploration of the world (and her discovery that she has control over what goes in her mouth) is taking priority. That's OK.

keep her in the high chair and feed her there, and keep yourself calm and Whatever about it-- it's possible that pressure to eat is making her even more reluctant as a little power play. Put out those things you know she'll eat (the chicken, beans, etc) and a little of something else you want her to try. Generally, it may take kids 10 times of trying something to really realize they like it and will choose it again. So she may have tried the hummus several times and realized she doesn't like it, I guess it's good she tried it in the first place! Also, it's OK if she eats the same thing every day, if you stumble across a few things she likes, keep serving them! And remember too that portions are pretty small for a girl her age, I recall that the size of the stomach is just the size of her own fist. So she may be getting enough even though it doesn't look like much.
Bottom line -- stay calm, she will be OK, remove the pressure from both of you, and you'll find your way.

Hi! You are worrying way too much! If she's breasfeeding and eats here and there during the day and her weight is fine, don't worry! Your daughter is simply a very very picky eater. My now 20 month old boy/girl twins are soooo different! My son will not eat veggies at all! Even when I try to hide it he won't budge and he was pretty much like that. He eats practically any type of fruit though but when it comes to food, I still struggle but I don't worry. He wouldn't eat much either but he's a very big boy, not fat but like a tank. Doctor says he's fine so I didn't worry. My daughter on the other hand, eats veggies! Not much fruit but I don't worry either! They only way my son will eat veggies, is in a chicken salad. I mix one can of mix viggies with chicken in like tuna cans and mix ranch dressing and I warm it a bit and he loves it! For snack I sit them on their high chair when younger, now on their lil table and chairs in front of tv to watch their favorite show and give I cut up cheese for my daughter (my son won't eat cheese), and slice up vienna sauges for both and I give them the regular or chocolate fish crackers, with juice (they will drink juice), or water. Try to make it fun! There's rainbow color fish crackers (you know the ones in a bag?) - I also make them peanut butter/jam sandwiches, fish sticks, dinosaur chicken nuggets, wheat toast w/butter, fruit loops for snacks too without milk. Maybe if you let her choose what she wants or would like at ther grocery store, it would help. My twins also eat avocados with nuggets. Avocados are very healty and we love them. Good luck!

At this ate I was told that my kid will graze if possible and is more interested in exploring than eating. The doc said sit him at the table to eat/drink, don't let them having things "to go", and don't look at each meal, but overall for the day/week for nutrition. They will eat when they are hungry. As long as the doctor isn't worried, I wouldn't worry. If you need more advice, call the doc and see if he has any tips.

Don't worry. I have a young relative who would hardly eat anything for years (mostly just a little rice and soy milk!) and she is nice and big now.
I would try to have lots of options for her when she eats so she can try different things and choose.
Also try making a game...so she gets something that makes her smile every time she eats something.
I just read in a magazine that a certain actress had a child who was dehydrated and wouldn't drink. So she and her other child made up a game called "Name That Beverage" and blindfolded him and gave him all different kinds of liquids for him to guess. It worked! I thought that was brilliant.

I would talk to her doctor. If he isn't worried then that should take SOME of the stress away. My daughter doesn't eat well either and I've been asking moms of older girls and I keep hearing that a lot of girls don't eat much. As long as they are growing it's ok. I give my daughter something and she loves it and then out of no where she won't eat it. I keep giving her healthy or semi-healthy foods and if she doesn't eat she must not need to. She could be teething and you just can't tell yet. When my daughter started to get her molars she wouldn't eat hardly anything for a few days. Good luck, I know what your going through.

Get into a good routine. Pick a location and stick to it. Put food that she likes and food that she isn't to keen on a plate or on the tray infront of her. If she chooses not to eat it then so be it, she will not starve. She will eat when she is hungry. The way my kitchen works is I'm not a short order cook and I make one meal, of course I don't feed my 11 month old spice stuff so I slightly modify it for him. That might seem mean but it really helps, my boys eat well and eat what I make.

Look at the size of her fist...that is the size of her stomach. It doesn't take very much food to fill it up.

Let her graze and as long as you offer her healthy choices she will be FINE!!

No child will starve themselves to death!!

To answer your questions...yes, it is normal (one day they LOVE a food the next they HATE it then they LOVE it again), yes and no: she will become a less picky eater but still have likes and dislikes that will change daily, see above. HUGS to you, hang in there!!