I'm sorry, but the Dave Ramsey thing---I think it's SOOO totally overrated! I hear about it all the time, like it's a cult (ha). Honestly all he does is real basic common sense, stuff I learned in my 10th grade Free Enterprise and Business Math classes. The radio show is nothing but commercials for "approved" businesses from real estate agents to investment reps....approved means they're sponsoring the show, people. However, if you're in serious trouble, that may be something to help you with. It's just hard to relate to someone that's got $20k in creditcard debt alone. I did check out the "monthly cash flow plan" from Ramsey and thought it was a good basic outline but too general (left out lots of stuff I'd like as sub-catagories) and I refuse to pay anything for the "real" outlines (10/month or something). I also checked out the family budget planner (spreadsheet) that was free that was mentioned by the ONE person that was saying something other than Ramsey. That was free, and very very detailed! I liked the main category followed by the subcategories underneath it, as it's more my way of thinking. However, I'm old and not very up to speed on working with spreadsheets: I prefer my trusty dayplanner, so I DID go through and tweak my current budget with a few ideas using this spreadsheet.
What I would personally suggest, or at least what's easiest for me is this: look back in your checkbook or online banking, and at the credit cards (if any) that you've used and go back 3 months. Can you get a good idea of what you spend already, on average? I would list out my personal expenses, every one of them, and have them in a category (this is where that spreadsheet may come in handy, because it's so detailed it'll help you NOT miss some things you spend money on). Once you know what you spend, on average, then you can know what is TRUE about where your money goes. I mark my "solid expenses" with a * (what I call solid expenses are the things that never change: a cellphone plan with the same monthly payment over and over, your mortgage, insurance, and car payments, etc). The expenses with no * means they are subject to change (electric, gas, etc).
Then ask yourself what you can do to possibly lower those expenses that can change (coupons, sales, switching plans or providers, etc). For example, I've always been on Cingular's cell plan, my husband was always on ATT. They merged, and they also provide plans with "add a line for 9.99" and free cingular to cingular calls (nearly everyone we know is on cingular-att and if not, we'll just call them from home). We cancelled my husband's plan since his contract period was up anyway, and moved him onto my plan. That one move saved us $60/month (and my mother is also on my plan b/c she can't afford a phone).
Add up what your expenses are and subtract that total from your income and see what you've got. Is it acceptable or does it need some tweaking? I take out 10% for savings, 10% for tithes, and try to live just on 80% of my income. When I know what that is, I subtract the necessities that don't change (car payments, etc) and then I know what I have to work with for the expenses that are subject to change. How can you get the numbers (for things like food and recreation, etc) to fit for you with the leftover money. If they don't fit, or you want to improve your standing, then brainstorm ways to fix that problem after you've finished your first draft of a budget.(First, what could you cut out or back, how to cut back, then how to get a little extra money whether it be that my husband picks up some overtime or I get a part time job, or whatever). It sounds like a lot, but that's just because you're just starting. Pray and ask for wisdom and understanding as you do this, and for creative ideas to help your family.
One more thing: we have a guest room with a closet we never use, and I take things as possible (as my son grows out of things, etc) and post it on craigslist, OR when they have garage sale days in your neighborhood you could set it out then.....though I think I fair a little better off craigslist).
I know this is long, but if you have any other questions, feel free to message me.