HELP! I Am My Daughter's Binky

Sometimes when my sons would have trouble staying asleep at night I would remove the top of my night gown or clean tshirt and leave it in the crib with them once I put them down. This would allow them to have my scent without my having to lose my sleep. It did not last very long, but it helped me.
Worth a try,
M.

I agree with the post about rubbing her back and being there for her, but letting her go back to sleep. This really help with my son.
Also, my son would only use one type of binky. You might try some different kinds to see if there is a certain kind that she likes better.

I had that problem when my son was small. I was even waking him up to eat because my baby book told me he needed to eat every so many hours. As he aged and I read futher into the book and it said....."however if baby needs to sleep...." so by that time I had trained him to wake up. So I just rubbed his back and he went right back to sleep and I never had another problem. So at the time she stirs just rub her back and maybe give her a water bottle and see what happens. Oh yes and...pray.

my first born was an 2 to 3 hr nurser 24/7...Thank God , he was my first born..I dont see how you do it with two. I tried one night to let him cry it out as my mom jtold me to...that did not work..after over 2 hrs...he was drenceh with sweat from head to toe...I was so mad at my moms advice..I just let him sleep between me and his dad and that way I did not have to get up..and the feedings slowly dwindled further apart. I nursed him one year and weaned to a cup...hope this helps

whether or not she is hungry she is telling you that she needs you and the assurance that you are there. Crying it out is bad for babies especially that young. Babies cry to let you know they need something, even if what the need is love, the need it. I suggest reading Dr. Sears' "Night time parenting" book, it is really good.

My guess (from experience) is that this is possibly due to teething. If she's just chewing on you, then falls back asleep - she probably just is in a little pain and you comfort her physically and emotionally.

Try giving her those Hylands teething tablets or some other form of teething medicine. Also, let her play with those teething toys during the day and then leave one next to her at night. If that doesn't seem to do it, add to the crib next to her the shirt you wore that day. That way the combo of your smell plus something else to nibble on might just do the trick!

Best of luck! My second was a comfort nibbler too! It's sweet and precious and I'm flattered to be so important to her - but sleep is nice too!

In our house, children don't cry alone. When I cry, I hope my husband comforts me, and my children deserve the same. In my opinion, she is only 5 months old. She has not been in this world for very long. She still needs to be reassured that you are there. When you are not in her line of sight or touching her, she doesn't know you are there. When she cries and you come, you are building that trust bond between you and her.

Hi T.,
I just weaned my 10 month old for that reason! He has been eating solids since about 8 months (totally skipped over every form of baby food and went straight to table food!) and I've felt like a "pacifier" ever since! He never took a binky so I didn't feel comfortable keeping him off the breast since I know it can be a comfort thing for them. Well, one day when he was at my sister's house he found his cousins paci (a type we hadn't tried...the round one more like the breast, not curved in...it's by Playtex)and he put it in his mouth....he loves it! So, I went and bought some and it's been a life saver while weaning. I guess you could say that I'm just encouraging you to stick it out, shop around for a paci she'll like...and continue to offer the breast if she needs it. I've heard it can be just as important as having a blankie or bear. Even once he started with the paci I would find that he freaked out during the night and would offer the breast and he'd nibble for few minutes and konk out. That phase lasted a month or so and he's sleeping through the night now! (FINALLY...it only took 10 months!!!) Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!!

Hi T., I didn't read everyone else's responses so I don't know if someone said this but the Babywise books are AMAZING! They really helped w/ my son's eating and sleeping schedule. I didn't follow everything to the T, but the main idea really helped. My son was sleeping 6 hours at 6 weeks and 8 hours at 3 months. He's 17 months now and sleeps 12 hours every night! Snacking is a big problem that relates to sleep. Good luck.

Hi T.,

if you mind nursing through the night (I did that until my son was about 1, sleeping with us, and then guided him gently through nurseless nights when he got his own room and bed and also could understand some of what I told him), I don't thing there is a 'need' to feed at night at 5 m. old. Your daughter probably is just looking to make sure you're still there and that she's safe. It might take a bit of effort and crying at first, but by holding her close and comforting her it should be possible to get her used to not nursing at night--and there's no need to let her 'cry it out', a practice which personally I find abhorrent, unecessary and age-inappropriate. (and there's a lot of literature on that--let me know if you're interested)
But it sure is easier to get them to fall asleep with a nipple handy!

good luck

T.,

Please don't allow your baby to cry it out as it raises cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and a Harvard study has found that it is sometimes elevated permanently, causing them as adults to struggle when dealing with stress. And BabyWise books are widely frowned upon by the medical community. Following your baby's cues is a much better strategy.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp
http://www.ezzo.info/AAP/aap_media_alert.htm

Since the pacifier is an imitation or substitute for the breast, I suggest you allow her to comfort nurse some. Comfort nurse is both soothing to baby and good for supply. As you know, breastfeeding is about more than just food for the baby. So, you don't have to know whether the baby is actually hungry or not at night. Just offer the breast when she seems interested in it, let her suck for a few minutes and either take her back off when she's sleeping or just go back to sleep with her attached. That's perfectly fine.

Waking up every 2-3 hrs at night is very, very common at 5 months, especially for a breastfed baby. The average age for babies to sleep the night is closer to 12 months, so be patient, and know that your baby is normal.

Also, are you aware that the AAP recommends nothing but breast milk for the first 6 months of life? Solids, from then on, should be kept for "fun" and tasting. There's really not much nutrition in a jar of carrots, KWIM? Keep breast milk the center of her nutrition for the full 12 months.

In my opinion, it's perfectly ok to let her do this, even though it's hard on you. She will grow out of the need to do this. However, The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley is an excellent book on helping your child sleep longer. YOu could try things such as patting her back or bottom, but I personally don't think you should let her cry.

Eating solids three times a day is a lot for a 5 month old. Perhaps she is stocking up on breastmilk at night. Make sure you are nursing first, then giving solids. Solids aren't the form of nutrition she needs...they are only for experience, and aren't enough nutrition anyway. So her main form of nutrition should still be breastmilk until she is 1 (at least).

I also think it is very typical of this age to wake at night, despite what "sleep experts say" about her being "physically capable" of STTN.

The breast isn't just for food, either. It's comfort, and it will help keep up your supply when she comfort nurses like that. I personally think that the breast was made to be so comforting for a reason. Why else would pacifiers be shaped nipple-like? Pacifier companies chose the nipple shape for a reason - it is the most comforting thing and their little mouths are made for the shape.

Ultimately it is about what works best for your family, but if you are ok with her waking several times, don't worry about what anyone else says. My son did that, too, and weaned himself of it eventually. She won't be doing this always! GL!

I don't know if you are co-sleeping or have her in another room. For me, it was easy. We did co-sleep and I didn't have to fully wake up to latch him on and let him nurse. I think he was also comforted enough by my presence that he didn't NEED to wake up as often. That's just my personal experience, of course and if you're not co-sleeping it won't really be that helpful to you. I feel your pain though, it can be so hard when they do keep you up or wake a lot and don't let you get much sleep. If you're SAHM, definitely try to nap when she does, that really made a huge difference with me.

Anyway, good luck!

T.,
If she's eating solids 3 times a day then she's not hungry. Are you hungry if you've eaten 3 meals that day? She hasn't learned to self soothe. She's still dependent on you to calm her down and she's most calm when she has the nipple, like most babies. You have to let her figure out how to go to sleep by herself if she wakes up.
I went through this with my last baby when she was about 6 months too. She was used to me being there whenever she called so she wasn't learning how to soothe herself back to sleep. So, much to my dismay (I had heard a lot of moms frown down on this), my husband and I decided that it would be best to let her cry it out. We would go in there every 10 minutes at first and then every 15 minutes, and then every 20 minutes to soothe her. We would tell her it was bed time and that she was okay and that we loved her and then go away. We wouldn't pick her up and we wouldn't stay in there longer than 30 seconds. After a couple of nights, she stopped waking up. I know a lot of women disagree with this method, but from my experience it was the BEST solution.
She is a year and a half now and she LOVES bed time. She never fusses when we put her down. She knows exactly what to expect, and she doesn't cry when she wakes up, unless something is really wrong and that's when I know to go get her. I take care of the problem and then she lays right back down without crying and goes right back to sleep because she learned how to do it at an early age. In the morning I know when it's time to go get her because I hear her playing with her stuffed animals. She loves her bed, and she's a very happy baby. I really hope this helps. Message me if you need anymore tips. Getting a full nights rest is really important. For you, and your baby. God bless you.
-F.

I know that lots of people don't like the Baby Wise books by Gary Ezzo, but I found it to be very helpful in finding a way to make our son a part of our family and not the center of our family. It has lots of good information about how to help your baby sleep and you can try it out without endangering your child. It's worth a read.

Also remember that sometimes parenting is hard and that means having to do things that make you unhappy. I'm never happy to put my three-and-a-half year old in time out, but it is what is best for him. Sometimes remembering that makes it easier to do something that is right for your child but difficult to do.

Whatever you decide, it will be the right thing for your family. Many families are happy after "crying-it-out" (with Ezzo's method or Ferberizing) but many are happy to have a family bed. Good luck!

At 5 months, it's unusual that she is eating that much solid food (is she meeting all the criteria for eating solids: sitting up, swallowing, reaching for food?)
It's not unusual for her to need to nurse that often at this age, maybe she's hungry after all, or otherwise just needing comfort.

Hi T.!
I have an eight month old that started waking up more frequently once we had moved to a new state three months ago (she was finally sleeping through about six hours a night, after moving she was waking up every three). I thought this odd, especially since she was on solids and I thought that would get her through the night better (btw - I nursed every three hours during the day and did solids twice a day). When I started looking online for some info about it, I realized that the waking up is more psychological than hungry. She depends on YOU to get her back to sleep. Some of the info I found online (Google 'sleeping through the night 'infants'') was putting her down to bed while she's still awake - that way she has to get to sleep by herself, and not giving in to feeding them when they wake up at night. That last one is pretty hard for awhile but she should learn after a few days that waking up is a lost cause. I hope this helps a bit. There are a lot of helpful sites online that could give you a lot more information so I would definitely suggest doing that. Good luck!

When this happened with my daughter, her pediatrician said you can tell if she's hungry by how long she eats when you nurse her in the middle of the night. I know it can be hard to keep track because you're so tired! But if it's only about 5 minutes or less, she's just waking up and crying out of habit and wanting to nurse for comfort. So he told me it's ok to let her cry and learn to soothe herself back to sleep. I know it's hard to do, believe me, but I recommend getting her to fall back asleep on her own earlier so you both sleep through the night sooner! Good luck!

Personally I would first try getting a nipple guard - for new nursing mothers. It is a rubber nipple that simply attatches to you. The child has to learn to suck from you through the rubber nipple. It is how I got 2 of mine to accept bottle nipples when we were wanting to leave them with a sitter. They could get pumped milk, but did not like the rubber nipple.

That smoothed the transition beautifully!

If that does not work, then I would try not lifting her. Just pat her back and tell her it is time to sleep--in a darkened room.

Mine would not sleep with any nightlights at all. So if I had to have one for a guest and they saw the light, they would wake up. They were like that from birth. Try making sure it is dark and quiet at night in her room also.

If she's just whining, I would for sure say to give he a few minutes to try to go back to sleep on her own. Does she have a small blanky or stuffed animal that she uses for comfort? Maybe try to introduce something like that. It sounds like she is eating plenty throughout the day. My pedi's advice was always to "tank her up" especially in the late afternoon so that she would be able to get through the night. At 5 months, with solids, she should be able to make it (my daughter slept through the night at 5-8 weeks old and she was breastfed). It sometimes becomes more of a habit at this age than a need to eat. She knows that when she cries, you will come. You may just have to sleep train her a little so that she can comfort herself back to sleep. Possibly only go in once per night to try to feed her. If she will take water in a sippy cup, try giving that to her when she wakes up instead of trying to nurse. When she realizes she isn't getting the good stuff, she may not get up anymore because she will figure out that it isn't worth it. I agree that she is using you for a paci and that is a hard habit to break, but it can be done. If you need more info, feel free to send me a private message.

I hope you get some sleep soon!

Sometimes I found with my girls that they just wanted to know I was around so I would just rub on their back until they fell back to sleep.

By 5 months old, she should be able to sleep through the night without eating. I highly recommend the video "Your Baby Can Sleep" - it's a "cry it out" strategy that got my 2 kids sleeping through the night at 5 and 6 months - before that we were up 5 times a night and I was dead! It took 2, maybe 3, nights and they started sleeping at least 8 hours at a time. They became wonderful sleepers - going to sleep easily (even asking to go to bed when they were tired!) and sleeping 10 or 11 hours a night by the time they were 2. I wouldn't highly recommend trying it. Good luck!

Good Morning!
I know what your going through! It sounds like to me that she is still hungry. Doctors don't usually recommend this, but I did it anyway with both of my boys and they were just fine. Breast feeding is good but she is getting to a point where the milk is not really getting rid of her hunger pains, which would cause her to wake up in the middle of the night. What i did was put a very small amount of baby cereal in with the milk to thicken it up a bit. You will have to make the nipple on the bottle a little bigger, so the cereal will come through. I used a sterile needle, got it hot and then put it through the nipple and moved it around to make it bigger. I didn't use much cereal, not even a spoon full, because you don't want it to be to hard on there stomaches. I hope this helps, it did for me and they slept through the night!
(P.S.) If your willing to try it, I would put like a quarter of a spoon full in with the milk! :) Good Luck

I can see I'm in the minority... but I say let her cry it out. I breastfed both of my daughters, but gave them a bottle of formula right before bedtime. When they approached 8 weeks I let them cry for 15 minutes (which does seem like forever when you're in the middle of it) before I went in their room. I'd pat them on the back for a little while and then leave again. The basic rule was --- give them 15 minutes to calm themselves down and go back to sleep. It took about 3 nights before they (and I) slept for 6 blissful hours straight. After this 3 night training phase I only had to get them at night a handful of times. They are 3.5 and 5 now --- and both have wonderful sleeping habits.

I say give it a try. It isn't the easiest thing in the world to do... but a good night's sleep is best for everyone in your family IMO.

that may be the case, she's got you trained to "pacify" her at night. She is only 5 months old, but she should be sleeping longer than 2-3 hours at a time, a habit may have been started. Being a mother of 4 boys, it doesn't hurt to let them cry, if it's just a whimper. full blown choking and gagging, you may need to ween her off of "you" coming in the room, by the "super nanny's" technic. To much detail, but there should be a web site on her. but it involves you just sitting in the room moving towards the door each nite. to the door way until you no longer need to come in at all. Your silence is key,(nothing to stimulate-sound, lights even touch)Sleep habits can and do change... The feeding 3 times a day, if she is still have regular BM's and is not over weight, then 3 solid food meals is okay. If you are still breast feeding and she is having trouble staying asleep, my question would be- do you drink cafinated drinks? coffee, soda's, tea? she may be getting that through the milk.
just a few thoughts.
There are so many other factors.