HELP! How Do I Potty Train My Daughter?

Updated on July 31, 2008
C.S. asks from Crystal Lake, IL
19 answers

My daughter is showing sign she is interested in using a potty like pretending to sit and says "potty." BUT I have no clue where to start or what to do next. At her 15 month check up the doctor gave us the "go ahead" to start training her since she was showing some interest then. She will go back to daycare in September when I go back to work and they wanted her to have begun the process by then because the room she will be in they will be working on potty training. She is 17 months old and my first. Anyone with helpful advice on how to begin I would love to hear from you.

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone who gave advice on potty training. I certainly think waiting until 2 1/2 is WAY too late to start working with her intently, but for now I think I'm going to take it slow and have fun with her "mini-milestones" of potty training. I still have a month before I go back to work and I will try some of the suggestions from many of you. I'm sure I will have more questions along the way. Thanks Mommies!

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.!
I am telling you that this will work. Do not put any pampers or panties on her and just keep reminding her to go to the potty or take to the potty she might pee and herself a few time but that ok that is the point she will not like the feeling and will want to go in the potty. She might ask you for her pamper but don't give in. I did this method with my daughter and by the third day she was peeing in her potty and by the fifth day she pooped in her potty.I telling you in one week she was trained now its been a month and she is doing great. Oh just put a pullup on her at night. My daughter does not even pee in the night. So try this and let me know how it went for you.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Get her on the potty right after she drinks anything...you can dribble the sink water if she hasn't piddled after 2 minutes or you could sit on the grown-up potty while she's on her own. When she "goes" praise her like crazy and tell her what a big girl she is. Show her the yellow pp or poop everytime she goes. You really can't praise them enough. They want to go all day long for you. She'll be trained before you know mommy. Good luck

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J.W.

answers from Peoria on

Hi C.,
My daughter is 3 and finally we are seeing the finish line. My daughter started at 18 months showing interest. We did great until I got one of those really great coupons for pampers. Up until then I was using the huggies pull-ups. Pampers has pull on diapers as well as pull on training pants. Well needless to say, I didn't realize until I was half way through the bag and my daughter stopped wanting to use the bathroom that I had bought the pull on diapers. It took switching back to huggies. We hit success again when I switched to the cool alerts by huggies. She could feel when she was wet and pretty soon she was asking more and more to use the bathroom. What kid looks to see if the design on the front has faded. Mine was to busy playing. Also, here is a great website with Baby Zone for the potty training challenge. http://www.babyzone.com/challenges/potty-training/ It had a lot of good ideas in it. We started by picking out a potty together and then going shopping to pick out panties together. Since I used pullups, we even put the panties over the pullups and soon she did not even want the pullups. However, we still use night time pullups as we are still working on staying dry at night. Rewards are great also. We rewarded with M&M mini's -then I knew she was getting a small treat and not tons of sugar. Plus she loved picking out the color of little container from Walmart. It kept her involved. She got 2 for trying, 4 for peeing, and 6 for pooping in the potty. (Her daycare also used the same reward system so we were staying the same between home and daycare.) Once I got past the panic that she was not going to train in my timing, we both relaxed and it had to be in her time. My daughter is also a daycare kid. A good daycare will work with you on the potty training. So don't overly panic if your daughter is not potty train by the time you want her to be. Remember they work with kids all the time and expect to be helping you out in these manners. Not everyone belives in pullups, but as a working mom and a child in daycare they were helpfull. Just don't get the pull on diapers that is what set us back. Yes, my daughter was almost trained by age 2 except I made the mistake of changing brands. And every kid trains at different ages. My sister trained 3 boys and they trained as early as 18 months to as late as age 3. So go with your instincts you know your child. Good luck.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I like all the advice you got. I loved that response from Jennifer E. - She seemed so "hardcore" and sure... but then she said that part about making her child go on the potty after she's already been sleeping for 3 hours. That sounds a bit nuts - to wake a child up to go...

I just want to address the comments people make when they say 17 months is too early. I just read this book, "The Diaper-Free Baby" - and the "crazy" idea is basically that you should potty train your child from birth. The people that believe this don't call it potty training - they call it "elimination communication" - and although it sounds super-crazy, I really liked some of the ideas and will be using it as I am doing the exact same thing you are right now with my 20 month old son. Anyway - the best point they made was that we, in the U.S., basically train our kids to be comfy in diapers and then train them AGAIN to be comfy on the potty. When they are first born, they HATE to be in a dirty diaper. They cry. But later, they just get used to it. This makes it more difficult to potty train later. Like some other posters mention, if you used cloth diapers or panties - it would be messy - but i think you might make progress. Now, I just have to find a free week when I can stay at home and clean up pee pee all day long!!! (There is so much more to E.C. that I don't mention and I feel I am short-changing the point of view - so definitely go get that book from your library.)

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L.W.

answers from Bloomington on

You never know how old they will be when they get the idea. My children "teased" me by being interested for a long time. One thing I did, though, was to start filling the tub and asked them to sit on the potty to go before getting in. They wanted to get in the tub so they would go. Plus the running water helped. Then wait patiently until they show more signs of being ready.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

I would advise you not to get too excited. My daughters teased at 18 months about the potty but they are now three and just really getting the hang of it. I have a friend whose daughter is 4 and was potty trained at 3 but is now regressing. After watching one friend go through so much frustration with her daughter and accidents, I decided to wait and let my children lead. I let them go underwearless for two days and then put panties on them and this seems to work (we still need pullups for naps and night time though)

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R.G.

answers from Chicago on

Cristy,

i have a three year old daughter who is not full potty trained. She likes to play the potty game to. She might go once or twice a week if i am lucky. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. Keep me posted and let me know how it is going. And maybe u can give me some pointers

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

I can only quote my mom's advice and hope that it works for my daughter when she's old enough. She cloth diapered 6 kids and both the girls and boys were all potty trained by age 2.

Basically what she told me in addition to the cloth diapers, was that she let us walk around the house with just the diaper on, no cover (sometimes she would pin it to our shirts to keep them from falling off). That way we would really know when we were wet.

Also she took us to the bathroom about 10-15 minutes after eating or drinking and sat us on the potty for "about as long as it took" with a stack of books. If nothing happened, no big deal, but if we did our business in the toilet she "made a big deal about it." Voila!

Best of luck, I sure hope this works for me!

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C., I am a licensed childcare provider(since 1996). I have potty trained many children! I would start off by having her try potty every 2 hours to get her body in the habit of going. It is alright if she doesn't do anything at first, it will happen when her body is comfortable with the routine. I let the children sit and read a book to take their minds off of what is suppose to happen on the potty. I would suggest the potty ring on the toilet, instead of a little potty chair, it always works better for the ones I potty train.

Good Luck:)

Ms P.

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L.*.

answers from Chicago on

She is WAY too young! Any doctor will tell you that a child can learn to go on a potty but is not physically strong enough until at least 2 1/2 to hold it for extended periods of time.That is being potty trained, when you can hold it and not have accidents. Do you want your child to regress later and have to put pull ups on for the next year? Please wait .It is in your and your childs best interest.

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S.I.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,
Both of my girls were potty trained at 2. I would suggest taking her to the potty every 1/2 hour or hour and let her sit on it, even if she doesn't go. Also since it was summer, we let our 2nd daughter run outside in a dress with no diaper or panties underneath. That way if there was an accident, it was outside. Also, my 2nd daughter did much better using a ring on the toilet seat rather than a potty chair. She could have picked that up from watching my 4 yr old. It's important to stay patient and make sure you don't yell at her or show any frustration with any accidents, she is still young. Good luck!

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E.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.! I used " Toilet Training in Less Than A Day"
by Dr. Nathan Azrin - IT REALLY WORKED! (Actually, it only took me about 6 hours for her to go pee-pee by herself. It took an extra day for her to go poop). Get the book!! Good Luck!
E.

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K.V.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.

My daughter is 19 months, and she just started telling us she had to go peep peep and would run to to the toilet. It has been about 3 months that shes has been doing this. So now what I do is just take her to the bathroom several times though out the day, and she has had a dry diaper ever since. I have 3 year old twins that are potty trained so I think she learned from them. Just stick to it. One of my twins started out in the beginning going #1 & #2 on the potty, for about 2 months, then went back to not wanting to use it for awhile. Dont know why. But the twins were potty train when they were about 2 1/2. Good luck!

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

There are so many different ways to start, so here are a few suggestions. In the morning you can sit her on the potty w/o a diaper, then give her a cup of water until she goes. Reward her when she does go. Take her with you to the bathroom everytime you have to go.(This is also a good time to let her sit diaperless.) When you have her sitting on the potty read a book to her or let her play with a toy to keep her a busy. It may be easier if she doesn't feel pressured. The main thing is to be consistant but don't rush her if she isn't ready this can actually delay the process. It sounds like she is interested so give it a try. If you are getting too frustrated give it a rest for a while. You don't want to discourage her. I believe if you make it fun and rewarding it will be successful...

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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.

Ask your daycare provider if they can assist you in the potty training for your daugther and if so what is their metheod,with my daugther and granddaugther's was just the way you stated in your letter sometimes you have to go with the flow of the child,when i would go to the bathroom i would take my daugther and make it fun for her know I am doing the same thing with my grand children my two year old grand child is just a little bit slower than the three year old was but that's ok because they have to learn how to recieve from their bodies sinals so be patience mom it will be alright,do things like when ever you give your child something to eat or drink afterwards take him or her to the bathroom maybe seven minutes after meals or having something to drink because most of the time that's when they will go and when they do clap your hands and say yah! you did it, give them a prize,trust when you reward a child for something,they would get use to it and look forward to doing it again so if your child is already saying potty mom that's the beginning of their training so relax it's ok for them to sometimes go on themselves that to is part of the training,the brain and the body have to connect, cause based on some foods they eat if the brain has not made it connection with the body in time they will have a oops! still it's important for you the parent to keep your child encourage even in dissapointment times never allow them to feel like they have failed at something,because it can cause a set back and you don't want that.I hope that I have helped you and so many new moms out there it's a joy for me as a grandmother be bless and enjoy your day.

S. Young

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

Wow that is great. My many years experience with potty training as a provider as well as a mom of three says let the child lead. It sounds like you have an easy going and self motivated little girl. That is great. I would continue to stay very neutral and matter of fact and take her when she says she wants to go. Keep it all positive. What you want to avoid is a power struggle. When it comes to eating or using the toilet you may very well not win if a struggle begins. I would be a little concerned that a provider ask that a child begin the process by 17 months. A three year old that has spent every day in a diaper can suddenly go right into unders in a day and never have an accident. Every child is so different.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was showing signs of interest at about 17 months too. We just went on the potty occasionally, whenever she asked. I also watched for her signs that she had to poop and we would sit on the potty then. It ended up, she was pooping in the potty almost exclusively from 19 months on. I didn't put her in underwear until she was 2. Here is what I did after they turned 2.
I have a son (8 yrs) & two daughters (5 1/2 & 2) I just finished potty training my 2 year old last month. I watched for the morning that my kids woke up dry in the morning. That was the day we started potty training. Then you know they have the muscle control to hold it for a longer period of time. I then went cold turkey, no pull ups no diapers, just underwear, even at night. Make sure you have about a week where you don't have much running around to do & can basically stay put in the house. Put her on a schedule where you put her on to "try" every 30 minutes or so. You have to stay right by her side, so if she has an accident you can tell her to stop & run her to the potty. She has to have accidents to realize that from now on peeing in her pants equals being all wet. ( Also, you have to be unhappy about accidents, not mad, but it is not OK. Let her see you are disappointed.) Going back & forth between underwear & pull ups confuses them. Sometimes they pee in their pants and are dry & sometimes they are wet. Too confusing. They only go in the potty from now on. Period. (You have to be ready to lay down the law & not waffle) Even wetting the bed a few times helps to trigger the part of the brain that wakes us all up when we have to go in the night. I'm telling you, from 3 times of successful training, this approach takes one week (there will be accidents and you will feel like pulling your hair out mid-week) to be fully trained day, night & naps. No turning back. My friends who separate training during the day and night, end up struggling for months, sometimes years to get the nighttime diaper off. They will get it much quicker if you go cold turkey. After the week is over & we are ready to venture out into the world I put her on the potty before we leave and anytime before we get back in the car. I keep one of those waterproof pads in the car seat and I have a waterproof bag that I carry her potty seat (that fits on any toilet), clorox wipes, a change of clothes & underwear, & a ziploc for any wet clothes. At the end of the week she was telling me when she had to go. As for nighttime, I limit her drinks for about an hour before bed, put her on before bed and then put her on the potty again before I go to bed (about 3 hours after she went to bed). Then she can hold it until morning.

Hope that helps! Good luck & have confidence in her! She can do it!

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L.H.

answers from Chicago on

I recommend the book "Toilet Training in Less Than A Day" by Nathan Azrin.

All of my many female cousins told me they used this method all with success. I was skeptical, and didn't think it would work. I gave it a try and was so surprised when it did!!!! I successfully potty trained both of my kids in one day. I have a boy, he was first (boys are harder and it still worked) and a girl, it work on both of them.

You have to follow it to the T, devout an entire day with no interruptions, and be patient. It was well worth it. Done and out of the way in one day.

My kids are now 16 (boy) and 14 (girl) and I still hear about this book from new Mom's. Give it a try! Best of luck.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Wait until she is at least 2 1/2 years old!

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