Help Getting My 2.5 Year Old to Sleep in a "Big Boy" Bed

After my second was born, I would fall asleep with the toddler and then his Dad would give me the baby and move the toddler to his bed - a mattress on the floor in his own room because he was a climber too. His brothers were tougher to move because they would wake up sometimes but this worked for years. And once the boys grew up, I missed their sweet sleepy selves - it was a nice time for cuddling after busy days of chasing, feeding, cleaning, etc.

I know that you say you have tried this but what you need to do is lay him down like normal and when you hear him get up. Don't say a word just walk in and put him back in the bed and say stay in bed, good night and leave. You might have to do this over and over for 3hrs but keep it up until he stays. Do this every night. Don't yell, don't get upset with him all children do it when you first go to a big bed. Everyone has to do this and for some it takes one day and some you have to do it every night for a month. But it will stop when he gets the idea you mean business. If you sometimes let him stay up and play and sometimes you go back to a crib and sometimes you let him out and sometimes you yell. He will get the idea the outcome changes and he wants to see what happens next. If it benefits him or or not what other outcomes can there be and will one be he doesn't have to stay in bed. After you consistently do the same thing he will give up. Some it takes one LONG night, some its 1 week and sadly some it takes a month. Because they hold out but it will end and than peaceful ending will happen. But don't give up. Just keep in mind no matter how he acts you can't get mad and start yelling or change what your doing that only makes the prob. worse.

If you really HAVE tried all the usual steps you have explained, including leaving the rail down and letting him sleep in the crib, and tiring him out and not making too much of a ritual out of the bedtime process, it may be time for the 'child-proof' doorknob. We had a son who would go to bed fine, but no matter what, would only sleep for about 4 hours per night. What this meant was that he was up and taking apart the entire house to entertain himself for the rest of the time and we were too sleep deprived to be up with him every night---actually early hours of each morning. Talking, cajoling and rewards/punishment changed nothing, so we went to the doorknob plan. We made sure his room was safe first (shelving and dressers anchored to the walls as he would also climb them) but he did fine. Once your son is potty trained this will obviously not be a good solution unless you have an adjoining bathroom or can place a potty chair in his room. We also explained to him that this made him safe and was not punitive, meaning that at 2 yrs old we simply said, "ok.nite nite. see you in the morning. we are closing 'safety door' now." and we blew him a kiss and left the room. No direct contact alowing him to hang on. We had always used a little music tape when putting the boys to bed, so this also helped as a behavioral method to set the scene for bedtime. He was always fine with the entire process. Many mornings his room was a disaster site, but then he even learned that on waking he had to put things back in drawers. It will pass if you do not continue to focus any real attention. BTW, our son is grown and still not a good sleeper; some just aren't!

My son didn't mind his own bed, but he hated sleeping alone. When he was little if he woke up in the night, he would come to our room and tuck himself in at the foot of our bed. He was 7 when we moved, our new bedroom was a lot bigger and he wasn't use to the nighttime noises in the new house. We finally put a camp cot at the foot of our bed. If the power was out, or it was a stormy night, or if he woke up and couldn't get back to sleep in his own bed, he could come to the cot and settle down there usually without waking us up. We never had a problem with him wandering the house at night. He would always come right to us.

Do you have a toddler Rail on the bed? Maybe just the 'idea' of being a bit contained in be would help. Maybe this will work- when my son was transitioning out of naps(boy do I miss naptime!), I told him he did not have to sleep, but he did have to stay in bed. It was his choice to sleep or read. I hooked him up with a small bedside lamp that was safe for him to turn off himself. I got a tabletop storage box and let him pick out all the books he wanted by the bed, as long as they fit in the box. All the while making a BIG 'big boy' deal out of the process of setting up- how cool it would be for him, etc etc. So now we do the same thing at night (he's five)- I tell him it's bed time and he can read a book and then lights out. He actually does it. Except now we have negotiations on exactly how many bosks he is allowed to read- Arrrgh- so like his father!
A small tv would work too- although not as popular! We do let him lay in our bed and watch tv before he falls asleep on non school nights, but only Sprout or Noggin. Sprout channel is awesome- just good message/learning shows - truely preschool programming with no sales commercials. It might be a good way to work up to the book thing to hold his attention. Chances are he will fall asleep watching. I think just the act of occupying thier minds during the transition to get them used to it, is what is needed with some kids. They have so much energy! My husband read me this article years ago, that said the intense multiplication of growing brainscells in a baby to child is compared to tripping on hallucinegen's- scary huh? Again, i'd say try to occupy his mind with learning things to keep him in bed. Good luck- and sorry so chatty!

The lock the door method does work. But, see if you can get a bed tent. It's really cool, and he might feel like it's an adventure in his "tent". Maybe put some of his favorite books or sleep "toys" in there if you like. Make it really fun. He sounds adventurous and this might pique his interest. You can get them online, at ikea, or probably at a big box store. It's a tent that goes on the bed. Also, if you can go and pick out a set of sheets with him that he likes, that would help to. My duaghter transitioned and we bought the sheets that she wanted and a new bed at the same time and she thought she was a big girl now. Make a BIG deal out of it. I hope that helps.
A.

Tell him he has to sleep because Mommy and Daddy are going to sleep - make yourselves scarce, turn off all the lights, etc. Tell him too that he is a big boy and if he wants to read a book for 5 minutes he can, but then he then has to turn off his light and go to bed. Giving my daughter choices, that were really no choice, empowered her and took some mystery out of the bed thing.

I am also not above rewards/bribes as long as they are not food. He goes to bed properly for a whole week (use a sticker chart), he gets to go buy a toy or a book.

By the way, I would let him have access to drawers that he can wreck without too much consequence - "This is your drawer to play in and these are Mommy's drawers for your clothes" - just make HIM pick them up in the morning!!!

I get the thing about not locking him in - luckily my daughter didn't really try to open doors until she was around 3 I think. But if you do leave the door open, make sure the house is inaccessible/safe. He may sleep through the night now, but you never know when he could start wandering.

if you're a stay at home mom let your child play outside if you can and bring him back him in thatt way he'll be tired and you wont have to worry bout him getting out the bed at night. he'll be too tired to move let him take a little nap during the day then at night go to bed

Hi,

I have a similar problem, only with 2 in the room (they are now 3 and 3) bedtime without some running around is not realistic. Our girls are and always have been very light sleepers, so we have always closed the doors when they went to sleep. It was no big leap to lock them when they moved to the toddler beds since they were used to the closed door. Anyway, my point is that their room has virtually NO toys in it except their sleep buddies. The dressers are safe and (fortunately for us) too hard for them to open at this time. Once the room is safe, and they can't go running around the house, we let them play for a little bit before they settle down. We poke our heads in the door and remind them to get back in bed every 15 min or so. GENERALLY this process takes about 30min. In the beginning, I would find my oldest asleep on the floor when I went to check before going to sleep myself. I just moved her back to her bed, and the drama was over. I know you are hesitant about the door knob locks, but think that if he can climb out of his crib, he can probably climb over the gate. Just getting to play in his room by himself may make him feel really independent - like a Big Boy. If your son is like many children, his day is very supervised. Maybe this can be one thing that is a little less controlled by the adults. I know that I am a lot less stressed without the drama of trying to keep 2 little girls in their own beds until they fall asleep every night.

I know not every house is the same. This is how it works in mine - if it is helpful, use it. Good luck. He will eventually like to sleep in the bed <g>

S.

I had the same problem with my son. He will be 7 in April. I took the dresser out of his room to prevent him from throwing his clothes around. He was also a climber. I had to stack two babygates in the door to keep him from getting out of his room during the night. I was worried that he would get hurt and I would not hear him. I still have problems with him not wanting to stay in his bed but He is older and I am not as worried about him getting hurt. I tell him that he can is more than welcome to crawl in the bed with me if he wakes up but the deal is that he most go to sleep in his bed first. This seems to work and many nights he sleeps all night. Good Luck!!!

we did a combination of C. d and cathy g. worked well for us and now my daughter goes to sleep very well.

My son is still working on this transition too- We find that we have to use a modified Ferber method- put him in, check in five minutes, then seven minutes, then nine, and so on. We're not very strict with it, but usually, he's best when he's very tuckered out. So we'll sometimes have a walk with the dog before bed, or dance time or something to burn off that last bit of energy... then we go through the bedtime routine: a bath every other night, pajamas, story time, a song, soft music, tucking in with his friends (all his stuffed animals) Sometimes he passes right out, and other times, we'll close the door and a few minutes later he'll come to the door and open it to see what we are doing. I think he doesn't want to miss out on anything. My husband will generally turn off the lights in our living room (his room opens to the LR) and pretend to be asleep on the couch. Other times, if we are doing laundry or watching TV he'll hold the door closed until our son gives up and goes back to his bed. It's always a new adventure(!) but it seems to be working... slowly.

The CRIB TENT is awesome! We had the same issue.... but our son was 20 months and was waking up in the middle of the night and climbing out half asleep. We tried the toddler bed and he just would not stay put. So, we bought a crib tent and he's now 25 months & loves it. Our Pediatrician said to keep him there until he's 3 if he's fine with it. He really loves it. All kids are different and may react differently, but he asks to be zipped in for naps & bedtime. He just wasn't ready to make the decision to not get up. When he wakes up, he just calls for us to come get him and we do immediately. So, there's no sense that he's trapped.

I might try sitting next to the bed, with your back to him and with out talking till he falls asleep. If he gets up continue to lay him down w/o interacting till he sleeps. Then each night sit a foot closer to the door the same way till he falls asleep. Once your at the door, start cutting the time you stay ,till he sleeps the first night then 5 min less each night. I might take a while (1-2weeks) but it worked for my 2yr old(my 2nd child) when we moved him to a big bed a few months ago. (We needed the crib for his new sister.) Good luck.

C. G