Help Getting a 6 Month Old to Sleep!

Updated on January 22, 2009
K.S. asks from Jacksonville, FL
26 answers

My beautiful daughter is almost 6 months old. She is a very active little girl who loves looking around and getting into ANYTHING with in reach. She has never been wonderful about sleeping, but a couple of weeks ago things got really bad. She'll go down aroun 8:30 or 9:00, sleep for a half hour and then wake up crying. We pick her up, hold her for a few minutes, she falls back asleep, we put her down, she starts crying again. This happens several times, sometimes until 2 or 3am. I have to get up for work a 4:45am so both my husband and I are exhausted! She eats 2-3 jars of baby food a day, has bottles w/ rice cereal, the heater is on so she's warm, she only takes about 2hrs worth of naps during the day. We can't figure out how to get her to sleep better. I thought she might be teething but since she calms down when we pick her up, I don't think that's the problem. Has anyone experienced this or have any suggestions on how to fix this problem? We had planned on having 2 or 3 children, but at this rate, I don't know if we're going to survive one!!!

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C.G.

answers from Gainesville on

Sounds to me like she just likes to feel someone holding her so trick her into thinking she is being held wrap her in a blanket and hold her then the tightness of the blanket will make her think you are still holding her.

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S.S.

answers from Melbourne on

I agree with the previous poster. Also, has she started teething. That could cause problems with sleeping. I use Hyland's Teething tablets when my children are teething. They worked extremely well with my boys when they were teething.

HTH
S.

More Answers

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

She is at the prime age for sleep training. That's about the age we did the Ferber Method with our daughter. It's tough for the first couple of nights, then things are SO much better.
Please make up your own mind about it only after reading what it actually is. So many people refer to it as the "cry it out" method. But you do NOT just leave your baby, walk away and ignore their cries until they stop from sheer exhaustion hours later. If that is what they are doing, then they are not following the method, or didn't read it.
You DO have to put your daughter into bed awake, though. Then when she wakes at night, she knows where she is and isn't upset that she isn't in your arms still! Learning to fall asleep is a skill that they must TAUGHT. Once they do, they are able to self soothe themselves back to sleep during the night when they might wake for all kinds of reasons (bumped a toe against the side of the crib, rolling over, sounds from outside, the dog barking, Dad sneezing, etc). Then you don't have to get up to do it for them every single time. There are several different methods, so do your research, but the one I used am familiar with is the only one I have personal experience with where I feel comfortable recommending it.
And please don't give up on the idea of other kids!!! This too shall pass.... :))

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A.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I remember those days, when baby wouldn't sleep for very long. Now that they are old, I would give anything for them to sleep on my chest, but I also remember being so tired myself and needed to get that little child to sleep on their own. She could be teething which could cause discomfort. I would give her tylenol to rule out a pain issue. Also, get a First Years sound machine that clips on the crib. It has a hearbeat, ocean waves, rain, and music. The ocean is the best, especially if turned up all the way. I like the older model better than the newer more expensive one. Call around to consignment shops or check ebay or craigslist, then it should only cost you about $7-8. The white noise will help her. When you put her down, make sure she has eaten a full meal, been changed after she ate, burped and dressed warmly. It helps to give her a little lavendar lotion massage. This routine will help her ready for bed. Try to keep her up for a few hours before bed time. Many babies this age like to go to sleep around 8pm. But the longer you can keep her up, the better. Once she is ready for bed, give her a pacifier, her favorite blankie or doll and say goodnight, turn on the ocean sounds ( set it for all night) and walk out. She may cry, after 5 minutes go in and pat her back for just a few seconds to settle her and tell her goodnight, then walk away. She might cry, hard, this is her instinct to get you to do what she thinks she needs. She needs to learn to self soothe, but can't if she hasn't been taught that she can go to sleep on her own, so although this might be hard, you are teaching her a valuable lesson and giving her the gift of deep sleep. She does NOT need to eat for at least 4 hours and you should not pick her up no matter what. You can go in to comfort her, but it's important to leave when she's still awake or she will learn to sleep lightly, on edge, trying to listen to you sneaking out and afraid you are going to disappear, but if she knows you are leaving, she will eventually stop trying to make you stay by crying. If you know her needs are met, she will be ok. It will break your heart, but it will only take a few days to teach her that she will be ok when she's sleeping. On the other hand, if I could do it again, I would co-sleep. My last baby, did not sleep well with me, even at the breast, she wanted her own bed. I was very sad because I really wanted to sleep with her, but this was not her plan. If you do decide to co-sleep, please research safe attachment parenting techniques to make sure that your environment will not contribute to SIDS. A baby this age can easily fall out of bed, if you smoke, drink or take any medications, it can affect the safety of your child. Make sure before you consider co-sleeping. Best of luck, she will be three one day and will not even want a hug because she is too busy, so remember that these nights will pass.

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E.D.

answers from Orlando on

I don't think she is getting enough sleep. Try putting her to bed around 7 give or take a half hour. It might help.

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M.B.

answers from Tallahassee on

I thought she was a little young for all that food, but I guess it's working for you. I would take her to the doctor if you haven't already and make sure there's no digestive type or other kind of problem. Once you're sure there's no medical problem, I'd try the same old thing of letting her cry it out for 10 minutes at a time, and see if she learns to put herself back to sleep. It may just be habit.

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A.V.

answers from Miami on

Hi K.,
As much as this is going to hurt to hear, you're going to need to let her cry. It is so hard! I've been thru it myself. My husband and I hate doing it, but we have 2 children and have done it with both of them. My son is now 3 and my daughter is 9 months. They're great sleepers...but we had to let them cry until when we knew they were fine. There are lots of books and lots of methods out there, but they'll all say the same thing....

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N.P.

answers from Miami on

Hey K.. I'm really sorry to hear that. I know sleep is so important. My baby has been sleeping thru the night since she was six months old and now she is 2. And i'm blessed for that because I have two other kids that still go to my bed every night. And they are 5 and 7. Is your baby held alot through the day? That could also be a problem. They just want to be held if that is so, you should start letting her be more independent in the sense of not carrying her too much. Let her have her free play on the ground or in her crib but definitely not carry her too much. Sometimes it could be that she is too hot at night. Make sure that she is fed and diaper clean. I used to give my baby milk right before I would lay her down. I would put her in her crib with a small blanky or teddy bear. The funny part is that she loves the silky tag on these items,so she would always nibble on it and fall right asleep. Also try keeping a night light in her room. Another idea that I have is that you know sometimes crib mattresses are a bit uncomfortable, so maybe you want to try putting an additional thick blanky under her crib sheet to give her more comfort. Try all these things and hopefully that will help.
Well sweetie good luck! By the way don't every put her on your bed because once you do that, it will always happen. Yeah we all think it's good when they are little but once they get older it will be harder on us.

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J.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

We had a very hard time with out daughter sleeping also. Like your daughter, she was very active, perceptive and engaged. First off, she very well might be teething. My experience is that when teething and bedtime, she'll calm down when I hold her or be happy just hanging out playing or watching baby einstein, but then freaks when I put her back in the crib-- it's an all together different cry. Try some tylenol b4 bed to see if it helps at all. Secondly, you might want to try putting her down earlier, like 6:30-7pm. This worked wonders for us because by the time 8-9 rolled around and we put her down, she was so cranky and over tired by that point. She's 14 months today and still goes to bed at that time. She started sleeping through the night at 6 1/2 months and aside from stomach ache, colds or teething still sleeps from about 6:30-7pm to about 7:30am. If you haven't been already, you might want to start being really consistent with her bedtime routine (i.e., bottle, bath, reading a book). Also, my daughter would not sleep in a dark room, she'd fall asleep and wake up scared so we leave a very dim light on so she can see her surroundings, find her binkie, etc.

Have faith, you and your baby are both trying to figure this whole thing out and it may take some time for everything and everyone to get in sync. I've never been a fan of cry it out, but we have been reduced to that out of sheer exhaustion and/or frustration on occasion... and it was not pretty, but she did eventually fall asleep. I didn't get serious about letting her cry it out until about 10-11 months old, when it seemed she and we were both ready to deal with that kind of stress. It was a only couple bad nights of crying for 25 minutes or so (which of course feels like hours), but she did get it and now only cries if she really means it.

Good luck... it will happen.

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M.L.

answers from Miami on

Does she like the swing? Our 1st daughter loved it and slept many nights with it in our room on low and reclined. Also have you considered the Family Bed? It is really only the British and Americans that have the infants have their own room (nursery) and beds(cribs), alot of other cultures have the children sleep with Mom and Dad. After the first few months of constantly getting up and down with every whimper and cry I found that the baby and I slept much better and longer if I put then between us after nursing/bottle feeding. They like the smell of you,hearing you breathe, feeling the body heat. My husband and I were a bit concerned at first about rolling over on them, but never did ( we have 3 children) and now that I think of it I would have had to be drunk or stoned ( I have never been either) to sleep that soundly. You will want to have a King size bed if decide to go this route. Hope one of these helps and you are all able to get a good night sleep.

God Bless you and your family!
M. Larson
Weston,FL

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

TEETHING!!!! I hold my little girl all night and sleep with her in my arms on the couch when she is in that place. It lasts for a few nights, then she is back to sleeping in her crib OK. The only thing that gives them solace is the comfort of their mother's arms sometimes. It will go by so fast, though. Take a breath, worry about work later and get into comforting your little girl. Don't worry, lots of tears and doubts later you will find you made it through OK like the rest of us. Exhausted, but OK. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Miami on

I feel for you I really do. My son just started sleeping through the night at 2 1/2 years old. I was thinking about it the other day. It is so nice to get sleep again. I'm still exhausted from not getting much sleep in over 3 years as you don't sleep much when you're pregnant and you don't sleep much when they are babies.

The only way that I got sleep was sleeping with him. I bought a bed in a bed. What ever sleep I got, I got. My husband is such the trooper; I moved back in our room when my son was four months old and threw out the bed in my son's room.

He felt the love of his mother and never wanted to sleep in his crib again. He slept great as a new born. Once he was six weeks, sleep was all over. He is the most loveable little boy.

All I can tell you is try and put the baby down when she is not going to sleep. From every thing that I have read, they say to put the baby down when they are some what awake. I wish I had done this with Ethan but I didn't know. Let her look around and be safe.

With every thing that can happen with a baby, I never let him be alone. I was too scared for him to be alone by himself. I'm better now, because he talks to me and tells me if anything is wrong. I never let him self sooth and my husband is worse than I am when it comes to letting them cry it out. We each have chosen when we think it's ok to let him cry. When babies are young, it's so difficult to make that decision because you really don't know if something serious could be wrong.

Also, try getting her into some routine. It may or may not work. People swear by them. It never worked with my son. He always wanted to be with me and the other day, he chose me to change him and not my husband.

Not sure if you're breastfeeding but I still am and they just love that comfort. I have to say that I lost a lot of weight not getting any sleep but sad to say I've gained it back slowly once he started eating food.

There are many ways to this issue and you might want to try Dr. Sears website. Just google Dr. Sears.

I do wish you the best and sleep.

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L.Y.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sounds just like my daughter when she was that old, she is now 2yrs old. Unfortunately for us, I was in the same boat and had to get up early for work, so I did the "bad thing" and started putting her in our bed with us when she woke up in the middle of the night. Um, I personally feel that it all has to do with their personality. My daughter still wakes up many times during the night crying, and just wants us to console her back to sleep (she now sleeps in her own bed for 1/2 the night)UGH. My daughter still only takes at most 1 1/2 hr nap a day, most of the time just 45 min. and some days won't take a nap at all. She has the best personality and is never grumpy. It is the strangest thing. She is just into everything and is very active. I am sorry I am not much help, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My husband and I are going to try to have another baby and our philosophy is, the next one can only sleep better :)

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

any change in diet? adding new foods? foods can cause night wakings, so you might want to start keeping a log of what you feed and when- food from lunch onwards would affect night sleeping...
next: you need to start moving nap time and bed time. 8:30 might just be to late...there was a time when my kiddos went to bed at 6pm! then it slowly 'creeped' back, but still my 2.5 yr old & 5.5 yr old go to sleep at 7:00/7:30...
check www.askdrsears.com for sleep times, etc
also: you're going to get folks telling you to let her CIO cry it out. that's ok if you want to, maybe at 8 months, but I would not suggest it at ALL until you've investigated diet and also tried moving nap and bedtimes. goodluck!

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C.A.

answers from Miami on

The problem is she doesn't know how to go back to sleep on her own. When she wakes up she cries and you come in, pick her up and comfort her back to sleep.
I don't think she's hungry she just has trouble falling back to sleep on her own. This is common, my two younger ones did this. I was lucky my oldest slept through the night the day she was born, except she didn't go to sleep until 1:00 in the morning, but slept until 9:00 the next morning. Back to the ones who don't sleep. I had to do the tough love thing with my second child, he was doing the same thing. Each night he would cry and I would go in and comfort him he would fall back to sleep. I decided I needed the sleep to deal with my daughter and son the next day. So I stopped going in to comfort him, and I would stand by his door to listen to his cries just to make sure it wasn't something else. As a mother you get to know the cries and what they mean. It was hard at first, he would cry for about 45 minutes on and off then fall asleep on his own. Then the next night he would cry for 30 minutes and then fall asleep. Until about after a week or so he would wake up make a sound and then go back to sleep on his own. It's very hard to listen to at first, but trust me it gets better. It's a tough thing to hear your child crying but it does get easier. You have to be consistant though just make up your might when you are going to do it and follow through. The best time to start is the weekend if you don't have to work the next morning. The first couple of nights are hard on everyone. And remember every child is different, your next one could be the one who sleeps thru the night.Please don't give up on more children it's wonderful watching my 3 children play together, and they are ages 9,7 and 4.

Good Luck
C. :)

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J.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi,
I have twin boys who are now 3 and when they were around 6 months old they were still sleeping in swings because they slept longer and better, so my aunt was coming to help me while my husband was going out of town. She called me a week before and asked me if they were sleeping in their cribs yet and I said no. She said that when she was here she was going to help me get them to sleep in their cribs and that they were going to cry and I just needed to let them cry it out. I started the process before she got here and talked to the pediatritian and looked at books on sleep patterns for little ones and they all said it was okay to let them cry, just check on them every 5 mins or so, but they all suggested not picking them up. Just touch them and let them know they are ok. And then after the first night go in after 10 mins. I did that and the first night they cried 45 mins and by the time my aunt left, 3 days later, they were not crying at all. The same held true for the middle of the nite. I would check on them when they started crying in case of a problem, but if they didn't feel feverish, or lost a bink then I would just let them cry. I know it is hard to do, especially for a first time mom, but let me tell you it was such a blessing to me. I was finally able to get a good nights sleep, most of the time. I hope this helps you. They still sleep 10 hours at night and take 2-3 hour naps. Since I did that with them and never let them sleep in bed with us, they have been awesome sleepers. I am soo glad I listened to my aunt.

Have a blessed day,
J.

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C.J.

answers from Gainesville on

My 6 mo old daughter has been doing the same thing lately. I've found that Hyland's teething tablets work pretty well for calming her down. Holding her usually does it but to nurse her back to sleep I need the tablets. Also, she often pees every 30-45 minutes between 9:00pm and 2 am. When she wakes up to pee its hard to get her back down. The pediatrician says teething usually won't wake a baby up but will keep a baby up. When I finally get her down around 2 am she'll sleep until like 11:00 am, waking up to pee only once more, maybe twice more.

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D.W.

answers from Boca Raton on

As it may sound cruel or may be difficult at first you need to let her cry it out! It is extremely hard and may take 2 hours the first night, but the following nights will become easier. I had to change my sons sleeping habit of sleeping in our bed and the first night he cried for 2 hours straight and now he is in his crib. You may want to get a video monitor so you can watch her as well. Just to make sure she is ok, as long as she has a clean diaper and isn't hungry there is no reason other than her knowing what gets your attention to come and get her. Good luck and stay strong! It will be worth it!!!

T.J.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

From experience: I did CIO on both of my kids. My first one I was like you... I would go in to comfort and then did that all night long until he was 9 months old. I was so exhausted that as soon as I would get home from work (around 5) I would take a nap until he went to sleep. I decided one night that I just couldn't do it anymore... it wasn't fair to the family. So I let him CIO -- for almost a whole hour. My husband didn't like it and was telling me to go get him. It worked. 2 nights he did that and after that, he went straight to sleep. CIO worked on my daughter too. They will not have a trust issue and will not need to go to counseling for the rest of their lives because I used CIO.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Maybe try more nap time during the day and doing away with cereal in the bottle. She's old enough to eat out of a spoon and the cereal in the bottle may be giving her a tummy ache.

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M.H.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Hi K.,

I also agree you should look into any dietary changes as well. The other thing to look for are the neurological stimuli in your home. Something may be irritating her and keeping her awake and may also account for her getting into everything. Nuerological toxins are hidden in many things in our homes that are considered safe. Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo along with most other J and J products have a cheap preservative in them known as quaternium-15. This releases formaldehyde when mixed with water and formaldehyde is a known cancer causing agent as well as a neurological toxin. Most of the Gerber products have them as well and if you look past those things, the cleaning products, lotions and laundry detergent are even worse. You as a nurse know that mixing chemicals contraindicate just like pharmaceuticals do so you really can't track the side effects. As an adult you are affected as well, but you're immune system is much, much stronger than hers.

When I detoxed my house we all slept better. If you're interested I'll be glad to help. It can be cheaper than the Wal-mart or grocery store products that most people buy and it can be simple to do.

Regards,

M.

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D.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

It sounds like separation anxiety... and as hard as it is, if you don't teach her to fall asleep on her own now, she will be sleeping with you for the next several years. we learned this lesson the hard way with our first one, she did the same thing and since I was working I ended up bringing her in bed with us where she would sleep immediately and all night. Now she is almost 4 and we still have to lay in the room with her at night to get her to go to sleep and if she wakes at night she immediately comes to our room EVERY NIGHT. Our second, we always put in the crib, told her we loved her, put on one of those mobiles that plays music and a light show and left the room. She is now 21 months and is the easy one. She goes in her bed no problem and sleeps in there all night. It's all a matter of teaching them at a young age how to soothe themselves and go back to sleep. It is very hard to listen to them cry but hopefully she will learn fast. If you keep going to pick her up every time she cries that will be the only way she can go back to sleep. Good luck!!!

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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

Get the book "Sleeping Through the Night" by Dr. Jodi Mindell. My son did the same thing and at 8 months I read that book as someone suggested it to me. It works. Your daughter likes it when she cries and you come to her rescue. This book will teach you how to help her go to sleep on her own and soothe herself back to sleep when she wakes in the middle of the night.It will also help when she gets a little older and you face possible challenges of transitioning to a "big" bed, her getting out of bed when she is not supposed to, night terrors, sleeping away from home and such. I have gone to it many times.

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V.S.

answers from Miami on

ear infection or.... it may be time to let her cry it out...her bedtime is also a little too late, try moving it back closer to 7:30.

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, K.. Well, teething is still the #1 culprit. All babies start teething around 6 months or younger (mine started pre-teething at around 3 months!!). Get some baby Orajel for her gums. Take her temperature, too; teething often makes a baby slightly feverish because of the gum irritation. You can use baby Tylenol drops, but don't overdo it. Naturally she feels better when you pick her up; you have solved the fear she feels from the pain, which is confusing and frightening to a baby, but that doesn't mean she doesn't still have a problem. ( :

She may also have gas, making her colicky. Teething gives a baby gas & colic because she is drooling more due to gum irritation, so she's swallowing more and thus getting more air into her stomach. She's also crying more, so she's swallowing more air, which makes her hurt more and cry more. It's a vicious cycle. She's also sticking more things in her mouth to bite and suck on, so she's sucking in air that way, too.

The rice cereal may be making it all worse. She may be allergic to something that's in the cereal mix, or she may not be ready for this stuff yet. That will give a baby colic, absolutely. I would not ever put cereal in a baby's bottle in order to get her to sleep longer and feed less! This is not good for her weight or for her digestion. Think about it -- she's having to digest this heavy stuff in her poor little stomach while she's lying down. She's getting air in her stomach on top of this because she's sucking on a bottle full of cereal (are you burping her while she's sucking down the cereal? If not, you're putting her to sleep with a heavy load of food plus gas, which cannot be helpful).

And there may be something in the cereal which does not mix well with the formula, causing further problems in her stomach and intestines. The cereal might even be making her constipated! This really, really hurts the baby's intestines! Just as much as gas hurts, constipation hurts even more.

I would eliminate the cereal from the bottle for a week to see if the problem eases up a bit. It's not making her sleep anyway, so why do it? I know that cereal in the bottle to get a child to nurse less and sleep more is a traditional trick among our mothers and and grandmothers -- and they're awful proud of themselves for it -- it's really bad for the baby. Babies eat when they need to eat, and artificially forcing them to eat less often is not good for their growth, particularly their nervous systems. They need the fats in the milk to develop brains and nerve connections, and they need the protein to grow muscles. They need the calcium in the milk for their bones.

They grow in spurts, meaning that their food needs change all the time depending on what's growing in their bodies at any given time. So trying to get baby to sleep more and eat less frequently -- even if the food amount stays the same during the 24-hour period --is a bad idea. Our moms & grandmas didn't realize this.

If you are comfortable with herbal remedies, I have a few suggestions. #1, give her some water in a bottle during the day. This helps expel the gas, and it helps to ease constipation. #2, a very, very mild catnip tea in her bottle helps ease cramping from gas and constipation. Catnip also helps soothe her to sleep. You can get tea bags of catnip in some health food stores. If you can't get it in tea bags, brew the herb as a loose tea and strain out the pieces of herb before you give it to her. Give her just a little bit at first, to see how she responds to it. #3, a very, very mild dill weed tea (strain out the pieces of herb, of course) help greatly with gas pains and intestinal cramping. Dill tea doesn't help with sleeping, but if colic due to gas pain is the source of the problem, then relieving the gas cramps should give her the freedom to sleep.

Remember, too, that children of any age may be prone to waking up during the night. If it's not something physical, then they sometimes have bad dreams when they get a little older. Be patient with the process, and know that sleep is one of the sacrifices we all make when we are parents. ( : I know this is difficult, but your darling is worth it.

If nothing seems to ease her colic and teething, please see a pediatrician. There could be something else going on that no one could possibly be aware of.

I hope you get some more sleep and that your daughter feels much, much better very soon!

Peace,
Syl

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T.M.

answers from Panama City on

K.,

Since she likes being held and settles down when you hold her, it might be worth a try to swaddle her up at night if you don't already do that. I know doctors are against letting them sleep on their stomach, but both my babies have slept on their stomachs since birth and they both slept through the night from 4 weeks on. They feel more secure that way. Babies that sleep on their backs, wake up and have a since of falling and start flapping their arms because they are afraid. I don't know if your baby sleeps on her back or not, just thought I'd share that info. Also, we use a fan in the room with our babies and it blocks out all outside noise.

Hope this is helpful!
T.

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