Hi Everyone,
I just joined this site and am loving it and hoping you guys can help my husband and I figure out what else we can try. We are the proud parents of 4 boys and the 3rd boy who is now 3 is having a very hard time going to sleep. We feel like we have tried just about everything and nothing seems to work. We've tried praise, punishment, etc and not getting anywhere. About 8 months ago we had to move him to his own room because he would keep his 6 yr old brother up and he wasn't getting enough sleep. Moving him to his own room didn't solve the problem but it was never as bad as it has been the last month. Recently we wondered if maybe he was lonely so we let him try sleeping in the same room as his other brothers, that isn't working either. He used to be my best sleeper when he was a little guy but it has been progressively getting worse since he was moved to a toddler bed (when he was about 18 mos old because he was climbing out of the crib). We have our nighttime routine and the kids go to bed at 7:30pm every night. He finds every possible reason to stay up, he plays, he turns on lights, he comes out in the hall but we keep taking him back to bed. Last week was the worst because he was still up at 10pm when we went to bed. Please let me know if you have any recommendations because we are fresh out of ideas. Thanks!
Hi A.,
We have been through similar struggles and are still going through them. We had to baby gate our son in his room at night, the dog also slept in his room too. When we went to take the baby gate away he was actually upset! Somehow it provided him comfort. Anyway a baby gate is worth a try! Good luck!
I would suggest getting a bedtime routine and sticking to it. Start 30 minutes until bedtime, read a book, let him have his last drink, don't let him have a drink once he is in bed, make sure he has been to the bathroom, and if he sleeps with a stuffed animal make sure he has it. Also make sure the last 30 minutes are calm. Make sure they aren't wrestling our rought housing any because this actulally makes it harder for them to wind down and fall asleep. Does he have a night light? My four year old has to have a little light. Try to catch him before he makes it out of the room if he gets up, because the farther from his room the more he wins. You as his parent have to make him know that getting up and staying up that late is not an option. If he gets up then put him in his bed and set a timer and tell him he is in time out, I sometimes have to do this at naptime, and it helps. I don't agree with the others who say take away his nap. At his age he still needs between 11-14 hours of sleep a day. Good Luck!!
My son discovered that when he could open the door and move around freely in the house, it was much more exciting to leave his room to see what else was going on than to stay and go to sleep. We ended up putting a child-proof thing on his door handle so he can't open it. He knows that we will go in and get him when he is upset, but it helps him to have that option taken away from him. Would that work for your son?
A.,
I have a boy that had some sleep issues as well. It seemed he could never turn it off and then was cranky when he did not get enough sleep. My Doctor at Children's Mercy Hospital suggested melatonin. She said your body naturally produces and that this would help reset his sleep/wake patterns. We began giving our son Melatonin ( liquid form) everynight after bathtime and it changed our lives. You can buy it at Whole foods.. Orange flavored liquid .. is what I find works the best. We read books for 20 minutes and he is sleepy and ready for bed. Our son would stay up till 11:00 everynight, I would go into check on him and he would be lying awake.. and now he is usually asleep by 8:30 every night.
Hope this helps..
Hi, A.. Do your kids actually go to sleep at 7:30? Or do they just stay in their rooms starting at 7:30? My kids don't go to bed until 9, so I am amazed that you can get your kids to sleep that early. Does your 3 year old nap during the day? If he does, I would honestly say he is probably not tired at 7:30. If you cut out the nap, he might do better. If he doesn't nap, then maybe making the rule that he can't come out of his room is all you can do. Keep the lights low or off with a night light if he doesn't like the dark, and keep putting him back in like you have been doing until he gets tired of trying. My daughter is 3 also, and she does take a nap each day. She has been trying us in the evening too with coming out of her room over and over again. I do take things away, like computer time, when she comes out over and over, but I also reward her when she stays in her bed. It is frustrating, I know. If he wants you near him, see if you stay outside his room within earshot for 10 minutes, and that helps. He may be going through a separation phase. He most likely just may not require as much sleep as your other boys. Try adjusting wake up times, nap times, and bed times if necessary. Good Luck!
How many hours a day is he sleeping? If hes still taking naps during the day he might not be tired at 7:30pm. My almost 3 year old has recently out grown nap-time and goes to bed around 9pm and wakes up between 6am-7am.
Does your son still take a nap? If so I would cut the nap time down by half. I found this is usually the problem when we suddenly have bedtime sleep issues. When we finished our basement and did the same move the older out of the younger we also added music (veggie tales bedtime) plus a night light that shoes stars on the wall. Then I put a sticker chart up and he got to put stickers on it each morning if he stayed in bed. I made the rule you don't have to go to sleep you must stay in bed. Hope you have some luck:)
Wow, I agree with the previous post. I have 5 children - never have they gone to bed at 7:30 unless they were sick or completely exhausted for some reason!? It says you recently stay at home with them, so at least you get to see them during the day but what about your husband?? Even if your son doesn't nap gets all of his sleep hours at night "by going to bed at 7:30", he may want time and attention with dad? or just by himself - he's one of 4 :) My three year old has odd sleep habits, patterns himself (he will seek out a warm body to lay with during the night: a sister,brother,parent,dog - doesn't matter and at least half the time he wakes up naked somehow!) He (and the rest of them) rarely go to sleep before 9:30 and are usually up by 7-7:30 (8:30 on a rare late day) but that's 10 hours - what time do you all get up??? He naps for several hours (at least 2)during a day, but he needs that. (and so do we :)) I find being flexible a lot easier than trying to make them fit my schedule - not to be mistaken for being run over by my children! Best wishes in finding your happy place - God bless!!
I agree with some of the other replies. If you son is napping during the day, then he may not be tired at 7:30. Melatonin is a great non-habit forming natural supplement to give children. My children are older 15 and 13 and they know that if they are having a hard time falling asleep they go in and grab the bottle of mel. I get the purple bottle from Wal-mart.... The kids notice that they have a harder time of falling asleep after a ball game ore anything else that they have to "wind-down" from. (Your body can't prodess sleep agents when you are busy, excited, and still moving. I really like the idea of bath-time then story time routine. If you want something that will last an exact amount of time without your son trying to think of the next book he can get you to read, try a simple chapter book and read a little at a time.
Hope you get some relief, I know that it can be frustrating. Hang in there!
M. Hazen
Enhancing Lives One Family At A Time!
www.StayingAtHomeWithMyKids.com
