Hello ladies, I need some help with etiquette. I really am not sure about this one. We have a friend that is retiring from the Air Force. His family is having a big celebration for him and we are attending the party. However, being that they are a little older than we are, and he is not retiring from working, just the military we are very new to "retirement". Are we supposed to bring a gift? If so, what kind of gift is appropriate? Thanks in advance for your help.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I do want to find something appropriate. As to the comment that offended everyone, I apologize, but it was misunderstood. My husband is former military and I have nothing but the highest respect for all military personnel. My friend is only in his early 40's and not typical retirement age (again no offense intended). His family is very young and he will continue working a full-time job in his field. I was only concerned about the appropriateness of a gift for someone as young and in his position. But again, thank you for your suggestions. I am going to look again today.
Since others have razzed you for the "just the military" comment i won't say anything. I don't know how close you are to the Air Force Museum in Fairborn, but there is a gift shop inside the museum where you might be able to find a nice gift. And the museum is free. Otherwise, I suggest what someone else said and ask about his hobbies and get him a gift card to help support the hobby.
They have these cute figurienes (sp) that are specifically geared for different armed forces. See how much they are. There are also historical books about the armed forces, you could try that. There are TONS of ways to honor our soldiers available now, for obvious reasons. It shouldnt be that difficult to find something inexpensive to give to him.
I do however second the first lady who posted. Being a soldier, in whatever capacity, is still a job. If they are deciding to have a retirement party for him that would kind of signify that he has made a career out of serving our country to try make it safer and for people to want to come to our country to make a better life for themselves.
I would find out about his hobbies and give him a gift in one of those areas or a magazine subscription. Definitely something that shows you appreciate him. He has worked his best years in the military to provide our freedom. It's tougher than what it looks like. He is worth a gift and appreciation.
Generally there is a gift for a retirement party, unless the invitation came stating "no gifts". It can be a gag gift or a serious one and doesn't have to cost very much. If you know other people who will be attending the party I would ask what (if anything) they are taking. You might be able to go in with another couple and get them a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant, etc.
Gag gifts can be something like matching boxer shorts or tee shirts with goofy sayings about retiring. My dad got a rubber plant for his retirement. It was a small artifical plant literally covered in flowers made of colored rubbers! He was the Regional Vice President of a National Title Company and people like Don Marsh and the Simons were there everyone got a great laugh from it.
Yes, proper etiquette would be to get him a gift. Obviously anything with the Air Force emblem would be appropriate. Gift cards for restaurants may be more cost effective though. Wither one should do. don't show up without anything, because that would be tacky.
R.--
Retirement from the military into civilian life can be VERY stressful and demanding. (I'm a military brat--this was a tough time period for both of my parents.) Any small gift you can think of that might help your friend transition to work in the "private sector" would likely be both well received, and appreciated.
A nice dress shirt that could be worn on your friends new job is a thought--especially if he's been in uniform a long time.
Just an idea.
Hi R.,
Being close to retirement age myself, I've been to many of these things. I think a lovely gift is a nice picture frame with a meaningful photo. This is relatively inexpensive and the frame is something you can't have too many of! Another thought is to write up some sort of letter telling this person why he means so much to you--can't beat a gift from the heart. That will mean more than a case of wine. A donation to a favorite charity is also nice. He probably has enough "stuff." Good luck and have a great time!
DEFINITELY get a gift.....no question what-so-ever. I had a very dear friend retire from the National Guard after 20 years.... not only was it a milestone in his life...even though he worked a full-time job outside of the NG, it was a huge event for him to "retire" from something he had done for 20 years.
I would definitely get a gift!!! Gift card to a restaurant would be nice and appreciated....men (I'm assuming a male) love gift cards to Menards, Lowes, etc.....any type of hard-ware store....
It sounds like you don't want to put much thought into it.... if nothing else, a card is the least.....but it would be easy now-a-days to stick in a $20 gift card for dinner, etc.....
Good Luck...
What about a gift that says "thanks for your service to our country" instead of "happy retirement"? I'm not sure what that would be, but maybe someone will have a good idea.
R.,
I'm sure you didn't mean to make light of retiring from the military, but it kind of sounds that way when you say "he is not retiring from working, just the military".
It is a big deal, especially if he has had a long military career. Many people retire and still work, but think of it more as a significant milestone in someone's life.
Anyway, you should get a retirement gift, but it's totally appropriate to go in with someone else and have a nice gift from two or more people. You don't need to spend a lot. Something small and engraved with a sentiment appropriate to how well you know each other. It's not necessarily something useful or functional, think of it as a plaque or plaque substitute. You don't have to spend a lot, but depending on how well you know this person, you might include a thoughtful card or a something thoughtful to engrave in something silver, gold, glass, wood,or monogrammed on fabric (like a nice throw blanket, but probably not now in the summer). It could be an engraved keychain, money clip,golf bag tag,lighter, playing card gift set, or desk item, like glass etched clocks or paper weights. There are many items under $20. Start searching for engraved gifts on the Internet to get ideas. (Don't be scared if you first see the expensive items! Keep looking!) Or how about a magazine subscription or gift card to a restaurant?
R....If it were me I would buy a gift certificate to a local restaurant anad put it in a "retirement" card.
M. B.
Hello R. JUST THE MILITARY!!!
First of all a Military Retirement does not mean this person has 'never worked'. Work is work no matter what it is you do. Being a housewife and mother is work as you well know.
Now, I would think a nice retirement card and saying THANK YOU FOR SERVING OUR USA would be very nice. Good Luck
Yes I would get a gift. I would buy a gift that goes either way as far as a retirement or a thank you gift for serving our country. It doesn't have to be anything real fancy. I don't really have any suggestions unfortunately. Wish I could be of more help. Maybe talk to someone in his family and they might be able to give you an idea as what to get for him.
D.
I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.
If it were me, I would probably bring a nice bottle of wine as a gift and a card. I think that would be completely appropriate or even a gift card to a nice restaurant. Not anything too expensive, just a nice little congratulations.
