Help! Can't Get My 3 Week Old to Sleep in the Bassinet!

Hi S., Congrats on your little one. I'm also a first time mommy and my little one is now 6 months old. It goes by fast so enjoy every second with him. My son also didn't care much for the bassinet at night. He would sleep ok in it during the day, but not so good at night. By 4 weeks he was sleeping in his crib. He liked to sleep with his arms straight out and couldn't do that in his bassinet. I have a good friend that had the same problem your having where he only wants to sleep on your chest. Your warm and comforting to him. Make sure you have him swaddled tightly and that your room is a comfortable temperature. If you want, try putting him in his crib during the day for naps and see how he likes it. That's what I did and he slept a lot better. Then I tried putting him in there at night to see how he did and again he went right down and slept. I thought I'd put him back in the bassinet when he woke up, but I just continued with the crib and he was a happy baby. As far as sids, my son starting roling over on his belly just before he was 4 months old and my doctor said it was ok to let him sleep that way. If your son prefers to sleep on his side, I think he'll be just fine. Just roll up two receiving bankets and put them on each side of him (or use your sleep positioner). Just remember to confort him and let him know your still there. Rub his back or face gently. He'll get through it and so will you! Hang in there. :-)

Congratulations - it's such a Blessing !!
To answer your question about mommy groups. Good Sam has a great mommy group Wednesday mornings from 9-11 in the auditorium. They also set up play dates with one another.

hey S.....CONGRATULATIONS!!!! not only on the little one but you are definately in the thick of it!!!! My 2nd is now 16 weeks and it seems like yesterday that I was in that first month just trying to figure things out AGAIN! I would definately keep trying the bassinet. You can stand there with your baby....sing, pat, rock...soemthing to soothe him...until he gets used to it. One day he'll just sleep in it and you won't know why but it just happens. You could also pick him up to calm him down then put him right back in there. My first son ALWAYS slept on my stomach and it made things very difficult to do anything else!!!!! To this day....he is 3....he is a horrible sleeper!!!! I think he was destined to be my spirited child. Dylan my 2nd is so easy going....he is a good sleeper. GOOD LUCK....so many people say time flys because it really does!

BTW....on meetups.com I think you'll find a Los Gatos mommy's group. I'm also near you (Camden/Bascom) and was looking for a mom's group but decided on a yahoo group called silicon valley mommies playgroup.

S.,

Is he doing any better at night? I had one like that, and one that would/will sleep nearly anywhere. What I discovered with the firs tone was that she couldn't sleep on the super hard mattresses used everywhere. She'd sleep just fine on our bed, or my arms, or... She also liked to sleep a bit more upright and there are devices out there for that, used more for babies with GIRD, but...

I also had a swing, a lovely reclining one that she's sleep for hours in. We went through so many batteries... It reclined to nearly horizontal.

Swaddling did not help either of them, they both screamed when they couldn't move. So while that might be an answer for some, it's not an answer for all.

There are also sleep positioners out there to help them balance on their side. I used one for my eldest as she hated being on her back too. My second prefers her back, but that's how these things work.

Good luck!

Even 3 month olds know what they want, and what he wants is to sleep on you and your husbands chest. It may take a little while for him to adjust to his new sleeping situation, but he'll just have to. Your sleep is more important. I know what it feels like to not have sleep, and after awhile I felt like I was totally out of it! Anyway, let him cry, he will get used to it.

Hi, S., it has been a long time since I've had to deal with a newborn, but the first thing that comes to mind is whether you are properly swaddling your baby. All newborns feel much better when they are closely, tightly, wrapped up in a receiving blanket. Their little limbs can't flail about and awake them. I also think that back sleeping is the worst idea to come down the pike in a long time. My first-born, now 18, was swaddled and laid down on her side. We would roll up receiving blankets and wedge them next to her back and against her tummy. She slept like a log, and was sleeping throughout the night at 8 weeks. My second daughter, now 13, was born when the whole back sleeping thing came into being. She would wake up much more frequently and flail about. I would not worry about SIDS...this is as draining as worrying about getting run over every time you cross the road! As long as you place the baby is on a firm mattress (no pillows!), and not on his tummy, you are doing all you can. When your baby starts turning over on his own, you will see that he will sleep on his tummy - it's a much more comforting position for babies! I hope this helps. I also would like to suggest that you place the bassinet in baby's own room. I had my baby next to me for 2 weeks, but couldn't sleep a wink for all the snuffling. Once I moved her into her own room (with a baby monitor, of course), I was able to get some crucial sleep. Don't worry about doing this - you need to be able to function during the day to be a good parent!
All the best,
S. A.

Hi there S.,

I know how maddening it can be trying to get some sleep. I would not reccommed letting him cry it out, DEFINATELY not at this age, (and it is not something I have felt comfortalbe doing with my difficult to sleep daughter at any age).

The first thing I srtongly reccommend is swaddling - what a life saver. The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, I think, talks a lot about how to correctly swaddle, and other ways to calm your baby. The most important thing is that is has to be snug, (think recreating the feeling of being nice and secure in the womb).

Also, will he sleep if you are touching him? Could you pat him to sleep while he is in the bassinette, and try to sleep with an arm touching him? I got rid of my co-sleeper bassinette, and just used our regular crib / toddler bed very securely attached to our own bed. The mattresses are the same height, and I stuffed a blanket in the crack between the two mattressed very tightly, (really, really tightly), to prevent her from being able to slip into the space, and to make a more smooth transition between the two beds. This way I could snuggle right up to her and then gently roll away when she was asleep.

Who knows what sort of sleeper you son will evole into, but you may want to prepare yourself for the idea that he could need your help to slep for a long time. Many, many kids don't sleep for long stretches of time until they are a couple years or older. If I had to physically get out of bed each time my daughter needed my through the night, I'd be a mess. Having her crib attached to our bed has been the only way I've been able to get enough sleep to be a happy, functional person. I find a lot of parenting / life challenges are problematic because I think things 'should' be a certain way, but if I adjust my expectations and adapt to what is, life seems a lot less stressful.

Good luck!

C.

Hi S.,

Congratulations on your little one!

I had a very same problem when my son was born. Everyone in our family was sleep deprived because the baby would sleep only on someone's chest or in arms and in addition to it needed to nurse very frequently. At our 10 days visit my midwife showed me how she used to nurse 4 her sons and since then everyone in my family has a good restful sleep every night (my son is 10 months this week) - we co-sleep, my son nurses whenever he needs at night without waking up himself or me. He is growing quite an independent and adventurous little man.

I was also worrying about sids and did my own research on the topic. The risk factors are soft mattresses, pillows, blankets, etc; and smoking in the house, poor baby health, and something else I can't tell you right now, but not in a category "every child has it". On the other side, babies were sleeping in family beds for ages and co-sleeping is a normal practice in most parts of the world. Healthy and active babies will complain loud if anything doesn't let them breath normally. And adults are aware of their positioning in the bed when they are asleep, that's why we don't fall off the bed!

I personally believe that cry it out method is abusive, though it's just my opinion. If a baby is crying, he is telling that something is wrong and he needs some help and comfort. Besides, there are babies for whom "cry it out" method does not work. You can read more on this on Dr. Sears website http://askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

There is nothing wrong if your child doesn't want to sleep in a bassinet. Listen to your guts and think what is better for your child, not what is considerate to be "normal".

Warmly,

I.

Hi S.,

My son hated to be on his back too. Still doesn't love it at 7 months. We survived the first several months with him either sleeping in a wrap on me for naps, or in his car seat (propped up seemed to be better) or on his side next to me in bed. Side sleeping is generally considered safer than tummy. Alone in a bassinet? My son would never have it either! It's still car seat, stroller or next to me. Hang in there. My 3 year old daughter sleeps well by herself. :-)
--
M. Sederquist

SVNMoms moderator
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