Help - Orlando, FL

Hello I am responding to Ann I would like to know where you are as to be able to help you personally if you would please send me a private message with more information I would love to help.
J.

http://www.cityoforlando.net/housing/default.htm

That is for the housing department. There are links for affordable housing, down payment assistance, section 8, etc. You can contact someone in that office that can give you lots of details for what you need to do and they will help you get a safe place for you and your family. Living with someone who puts you or your children down is not a good option.

http://www.cityoforlando.net/govt_directory.htm
There is lots of information on the page listed above.

You can apply for WIC, foodstamps, medicaid. Find your local department of social services and get a child support order. You don't need a lawyer for that.
Look in your neighborhood for a church and talk to them. They're usually really good with finding help and information for community resources.
If you get a place to live on your own and need household items, contact the Salvation Army or United Way or even sign up on freecycle.org and post some want requests. It's all free so you can get the items you need to make a home for your children.
Florida Kidcare provides health benefits for low income children who do not qualify for Medicaid.
You'll make it! It'll be hard, but you can get through it. And if you're smart, you'll learn some sort of lesson and you won't have to go through it again.
It doesn't hurt to take a little joy in the fact that he will eventually do the same thing to the woman he left you for that he did to you. It all comes back around sooner or later. Think of how bad he'll feel when he sees you on your feet and living a healthy, happy life with your children and without his drama.

I think everyone else has mentioned everything I can think of except one thing. After you do have an income you may be able to get help from Habitat for Humanity. They help to get you into a home with certain conditions. You have to help work with them for a certain amount of hours, it takes quite a while because the house has to actually get built. The builders are other people like yourself and volunteers mostly. The house isn't free but it cost much less than a regular house, and you can have the experience of helping to build your own home along with lots of others. They have a web site that you can find out all the requirements, and how long it takes, and other things involved. Here's the web site,
http://www.habitat.org/ They may have jobs their too. I would also suggest looking into some sort of counseling for your family, to help deal with the things in your lives. Try to find something free or really cheep, or maybe a support group.

A.,

I really do not have any advive to give you since I am just about to leave my husband. I have been holding on for twoyears just waiting to finish college so I can get a job to support my son. but i just can not hold on any longer. My husband does not cheat but he has a fit when i want to do anything but wait on him. He works a full time job and a part time job to pay the bills and I work full time. These jobs are entry level and we are still behind on our bills mostly car payments. he cuts his hours when ever he can an spends like we have disposal income. if i want to live like this i think i should just go out on my own with my son but my income will barely pay for an apt and food. if you find out any agengies will you pass them along to me.

Thanks M.

Hello A., my name is D.. I live in the Apopka area.

There are a number of things that you can do to help you get back on your feet.

The first thing I recommend is to get a good attorney. I know that there are attorneys out there who want to be paid up front and all that happiness, but if you tell your situation enough you WILL get someone to listen. It is GOING to take persistence on your part to get you where you need to be. You might be able to get legal services by visiting www.floridalawhelp.org. I also came across this website you might be interested in www.familylawfla.org.

Another resource for you to utilize is the Florida Bar the address is www.floridabar.org.

I have known many cases in which you are able to file a financial affidavit with the courts and sue your spouse to cover all of the legal fees. If the extra marital affairs can be proven and if it can be proven that he had someone tamper with your SSN that will help your case. The SSN issue may be a headache but you should be able to clear that up. Social Security has a toll-free number that operates from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Friday: 1-800-772-1213.

Second thing that you can do...you are entitled I believe to one free credit report each year or something like that. Check with the credit reporting agencies, Equifax, Transpirion, and TransUnion. You have the right to dispute anything that is listed on your credit report. They should be able to help you.

This isn't going to be fun make no mistake, but persistence DOES pay off.

Here are some other things for you in the meantime that you can look into.

Also, use the internet to look up local organizations that might be able to help you.

1. You can get in touch with the Department of Children and Families. You can apply on line if you would like to see if you qualify http://www.myflorida.com/accessflorida/ There are other resources listed on this site and should put you in the direction you will need to go.

If that isn’t an option for you then…

2. You can always turn to a church for help and spiritual guidance. Many times the pastor of the church will counsel you for free. Sometimes there are members of the congregation that will be willing to step up and want to help. Take it from someone who knows, guidance through tough times can be a miracle. It will also do the children good to get counseling as well.

3. There are organizations that can also help you with paying your bills. There are so many I can’t remember all of them. I know that there is a Catholic Charity organization out of Orlando. Web Address is www.ccorlando.org.

If none of these are able to help you at the moment and need a sounding board I have pm’d my phone number to you. I know you don’t know me but sometimes it helps just to have someone to talk to.

I have walked miles in your shoes and understand completely what you are going through. It’s a tough position to be in.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.

All my best
D.

A., you don't say where you live but if it's in the Orlando area please email me privately and I will direct you toward some local resources. I work for a non-profit agency in the area and have a good bit of knowledge about what's available for moms in your situation.

Hey A.,

Sorry about everything that you are going through. My husband of 12 years just got arrested for solicitation. It came out of nowhere. I work night shift and am having trouble finding anyone to watch my two kids while I am working at night. I have a spare bedroom and you and your kids are welcome to stay with us until you can get back on your feet. I don't know if you will want to or not. I see that you live in Orlando. I live in Lakeland. Just let me know if you are interested. All you would have to pay for is your groceries. I have to pay all of the other bills whether or not anyone else is here. Good luck.

Hi, there are many organizations that may help you find a place to stay. I recently went to Christian help in Longwood, also dialing 211 can refer you to some agencies. You can get yourself on your feet with determination and most of all God's help. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

I would love to help you. I have some ideas. Please write me at ____@____.com
My mission and purpose in life is to empower women and erase the negative voices we have in our heads.

I am so sorry to hear what is going on. I am not sure of any resources but my heart just goes out to you and I will be praying for you. I just wanted to encourage you and your children. I went through a similar situation when I was a child and I know you have fears for your children and the effect that it will have on them. It was very hard but I came out okay and I am doing quite well for myself, so I just wanted to try to encourage you in that area. I will be praying for you.

I'm not sure where you live but I used to volunteer for an abused women's facility in downtown St. Petersburg. I worked in their thrift shop, and they would give the women housing and vouchers to shop in the thrift store. Its worth looking into. Their local number is ###-###-#### & their toll-free number is 800-799-7233. They also have a website - http://www.casa-stpete.org . I hope this helps you. Best of luck to you & your kids.

Would you consider totally forgetting about him and maybe going to a women's college program? Like Wilson College. Free stay for single moms and a place for their children also. I feel your pain and am a teenage mom with no help. There are certain requirements though such as a G.E.D. and applying for financial aid and what not but in the mean time it could present a future opportunity. May god bless you. And I guess the biggest piece of advice is to trust in our God even during the roughest moments and know that he will provide your every care. Also you may think how you can improve your spiritual well being before God. Though I struggle, me and my son have never gone hungry and if we focus on what we do have our kids are better able to focus on the happiness that we still have because they 're children and just because daddy won't be in their life doesn't mean that their life is turned upside down. And by the way I've been in and out of shelters since my baby was born, they don't help, sometimes, but you can get it together in prepartion to get into your own place while at your brother's house. Because your kids might see and hear things you don't want them to. You might feel discouraged and give up and shelters kick people out all the time. especially if you do not have a job. So, help yourself now and get on your feet while at your brothers house, then maybe find a cheap two bedroom, look hard and work hard at whatever you do. AMEN.You can make it, just put your focus on your kids and find some type happiness admidst your pain and of course read your bible because it is our weapon and our power through God's holy spirit. Amen."For the word of God is alive and exerts power and is sharper than any two-edged sword and pierces even to the dividing of soul and spirit, and of joints and [their] marrow, and [is] able to discern thoughts and intentions of [the] heart. 13 And there is not a creation that is not manifest to his sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting. " I would also visit www.watchtower.org for additional comments on how to deal with divorce for you and your kids and also how to obtain employment. It has been a big help for me and I am still studying with Jehovah's Witnesses and am able to help my son grow up well-manner even under horrible conditions.

A., it sounds like you've been through the ringer. Have you and your husband actually divorced? Perhaps you can get an attorney (try a google search for someone with a sliding scale or low income specifications) to assist you. If you can prove to the judge what has happend, you may be able to win support for your children at the very least. You may not want anything from him at this point but your children deserve this and he should still support them. If you have a church you attend or are thinking of attending, try and speak to the pastor or clergy and see if they have anything that might be of help to you. Sometimes the church can help to find you a place and possibly even help you with the finances to get into one. Lastly but not least important, make sure to keep an open repoir with your children. Make sure they know that none of this is their fault and that you are there for them. United Way has counselors on a sliding scale - free to low income families - and it might not hurt to try and get them, as well as yourself, some counseling during this difficult time. Not wanting to push religion on you but being a christian myself, I would suggest that perhaps you might find God in all this mess. I know it sounds contrite but He can be there (if we let Him) to help us through difficult times. A church can offer you and your children love, support and fellowship - something to consider. Good luck and God Bless you and your children.

hi A., I feel so deeply your pain, not as a divorcee, but as a the child of a mom divorced several times. It's hard for everyone, but you will get through this. there are agencies out there that can help. Someone mentioned Florida's Kidcare for insurance, also the department of children and families has some assistance availaible at http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/ess/tanf.shtml, I also found this great website www.singlemom.com. I'm not sure where you're located, but there is an organization in Osceola Co called Life Keepers ###-###-####) that's is specifically for single moms. a lot of people said to try a church and I think that is great advice, I know our church does things like that all the time. I am in clermont, and I'm in the process of opening a really fun business for kids and we'll be looking for great staff in the near future. If you're close by, send me you're email and we'll keep in touch.

Finally, keep your head up, you are a great mom, doing what's best for your family in the long run. Have some faith and you'll get through this with flying colors.

Good luck and God bless!

A.,

My heart goes out to you in this situation, as I have a brother that has been through this and a sister that may be going through this soon with her cheating husband. Hang in there, and seek out all the resources that you can find to get you into your own place as soon as you can. You can do it!

Have you tried calling United Way? I don't know what city you are in, but that would be the first place that I would suggest. Also, check out local churches and see what they could do to help. What about legal help? Are you able to have a lawyer to help you get child support, etc.? I don't know much about this, but I kow there are attorneys out there that won't charge anything until you win your case. What county are you in? I work for a local non profit in Polk, so I may have a few numbers for you to call.

Let me know!

L.

Hi A. ~ Don't give up! You are doing great so far - being away from your controlling husband and trying to keep a roof over your family's heads. Are you still working? Can you afford a small apt. somewhere? There should be a few programs for single parents locally that could help you out to get going in the right direction, and out on your own w/o your brother's help. Check back at the shelter to see if they have any names/numbers, or check on www.coj.net website (if you're in Jax). If nothing else, the city's main phone number should be able to point you in the right direction. Or a local church. Keep those kids in school, keep working, and keep your chin up! ;-)

Hi A.,

So sorry to hear that you have to deal with this while raising two kids. You are not alone so that should give you some hope. Do you need some couseling to get you through this? My church St. Andrew's United Methodist in Brandon offers free couseling called Stephen's Ministry and that has help me in my divorce too. My husband left us a year ago bc his decided he didn't want a wife anymore, but I am blessed enough that he still supports us. But disappointment and low self esteem and worth has taken a toll on me and my family and I just needed someone to talk to, counseling and friends have really helped me feel good about myself again.

What kind of work/skills do you do/have? I run a drapery design and sewing business and can always use some help, if you can sew. Let me know and I can try to help find you a job.

I also will keep praying for you and your family. Let us all know how the prayers are helping you.

Good luck and write me anytime you need to talk.

In my opinion, you must speak with an attorney. The best one I know is Bob Grguric. He works at Thomas R. Olsen, PA. It is located on Edgewater Dr. in College Park. His secretary's name is Meg. They will help you with the info you need.
Good Luck! God Bless!
L.

i will tell you what i would do in your situation. i would pack my kids up and go to a women's shelter. they will help you with counseling, which it sounds like would help your daughter and possibly you too after the affairs and all the mind games he played. they would also help you find housing and child care and such as.

it would be a better life for you and for the children. please, for yourself and for the children, consider this idea.

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/

211.org -- this one is sponsered by United Way

These are the ones that I found on google. I think that you can go to a church, even if you don't belong and find some help. Speak directly with a pastor.

I will be praying for you and your children!! I pray that life will turn around for you guys.

Your children are angry now, but when they grow up -- they will be very forgiving and understanding (I know from experience, my mom and I lived with an abuser. After the divorce and after I went in the military, she lived with me until she was back on her feet).

hi A.. i'm really sorry to hear about the situation that you are currently experiencing.i know exactly how you are feeling. i myself had experienced something very similar to yours. i was with a man for 8 years and he had cheated several times. when we finally split up, i ended up in a shelter with a 6 year old, 13 month old and 7 1/2 months pregnant. my situation was domestic violence. i had no where to turn-no family to help. shelter life has it's pro's and cons. it pretty much is a community living situation and everything is shared. the shelter that my children and i resided in, was not something that people in the community expect it to be. yes, they do provide a roof over your head, bu twhen someone has lost EVERYTHING, it makes you feel as if there is no ending to the situation. what kept me strong through it all was the faith that i had in God. my advice to you would be for you to seek God if you haven't already. stay strong. be thankful that you are not in a shelter. all walks of life go through shelter doors. it's not a good place to bring children.i know things can get rough living with other family members. yet at the same time it's only a temporarily thing. talk to your children more about the situation that you are experiencing. hear them with their feelings and what they think. encourage them, let them both know that they are loved, not only by you but their father as well. do not try to hide anything from them. they are bothered by this whole thing as much as you are. and most importantly, do not let them know anything negative about their father. most likely, the shelter will redirect you into public housing. do not be ashamed. you can use that as a stepping stone for your goal. if you have to apply for public assistance, do not be ashamed as well. just keep in my mind, that it is only a temporarily thing and if you and your children can benefit from it, good. let go of the past and look towards the future and what can be accomplished. people must make sacrifices in their lives if they are to prosper spiritually, physically, financially, and emotionally. God will put opportunities right in front of your eyes, it's up to you to take it and apply it to your life and your children's lives. i hope that this will help you in more ways than one and will keep you and your children in my prayers. May God bless you. C., 34, mom of 3 and 1 on the way.

I'm very sorry you are going through this.

I can't offer much as I am in the process of moving, however, if you send me your resume I can take a look and see if it needs any improvment and help write a cover letter for career job applications.

I can't think of any other way to help you right now except to say that God heals all pain and will turn this into a blessing for you. Not over night, but with faith and much prayer you will see yourself in a better life having things you never dreamed of! I did!

(The same situation happened to me except it was one affair and I never worked because we have two toddlers. I still have no credit because He's offered to pay the bills when we got married and never did.. three years ago...it's working itself out now, but it was pretty much entirely the same. God healed my pain and I don't find myself particularly so special that He would heal mine and not yours).

I wish you love and happiness in your life always and hopefully soon you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your head up, pack your bags and keep moving forward. Don't let this situation hold you down.. you will persevere and overcome!

Get on foodstamps if you can, it was a wonderful source for me (it's all online and do not give them your bank account info, just say you don'thave one - they will give you a card instead).

Also, let me know what field you are in and location as to what part of Orlando you ive in and would like to work. I will see if I have any contacts in those areas.

~J.

Have you tried contacting your child's school's social worker? They know many resources in the community and may be able to guide you.

Hello A., I am sorry to hear about your divorce and what you are going through as the result of it. Just yesterday I heard of a new womens shelter that opened up and only has one woman. I was at an event and so I wasn't able to talk to much to the person that mentioned it but I kind of introduced myself into the conversation so that I could find out more. They advised me that they personally had been there and it was a very nice shelter and that everyone was elated the other day when the first lady came in. As of yesterday I believe that was all they had and were looking to help others. The shelter is in Hernando County. I am not sure where you are living or if this is to far but it sounds to me like they would love to have more people to help. If you would like me to put in a call today and find out more information about it I would be more then happy to do that. Please let me know by sending me a message and I will get right on it!!! (Please consider it even if it is far because getting into something like this from the ground up when it is first opened I feel would provide you with a wealth of resources and help and you would not have to worry about being squashed in somewhere:) PS I knowyou have kids and I told the person you did so I think it is safe to say Kids are welcome there to; like I said I would be more then happy to find out more or pass on the information to you to call. Have a great day, A.:):):):):)

Sounds to me like an easy case for a lawyer. Your husband has a lifelong obligation to you and the kids whether he likes it or not. You don't (hopefully) need to get ugly about it, but the law is the law.
Also, shame on your brother for not being more supportive. Sometimes reaching out to friends for help is easier than family. I went thru a tragedy last summer and I hate to say it, but my family let me down! Friends and church family on the other hand were amazing! Stay strong and know you're in my thoughts and prayers, Maggie