Help! 5 Month Old Not Sleeping Thru Night

Sounds like she keeps losing her pacifier. You can leave
a lot of them in her crib in the hopes she will find one
or you can ditch the pacificer completely. Just be prepared
for a few nights of crying. Good luck. I would definitely
not feed her and do not take her in bed with you,
because it is a habit you do not want to get into.

The book you ordered sounds like it's Dr. Marc Weissbluth's. While you're waiting for it to arrive, you can read more about him and his advice at http://bit.ly/2qtCr

Good luck!

Hi Cathy,
In addition to your daughter being hungry or losing her pacifier in the night, since you share a bedroom, I have an different suggestion as to what could be going on...we also live in a 1 bedroom nyc apt and had a similar situation. Babies wake & open their eyes repeatedly throughout the night, when your daughter does this, she might see you and then want you. We wound up buying a really good sofa bed and moving into the livingroom, but one of those rice-paper screen between your bed and the baby's crib, so she can't see you, might be helpful.
Good luck,
E.

Not sure but did you mention she is only nursing? Have you started giving her solid foods? When do you plan to introduce food? Fruits are a great start. I have breastfeed both my children and began feeding my second solids at about 5.5 months. this seemed to help her sleep more soundly.

I agree with Traci D.! Meeting your baby's needs as she expresses them is the best thing you can do for both of you! Six months is a HUGE time of transition for babies... major growth spurts (both physical, social and emotional... teeth!) come into play. Infants will often wake repeatedly during the night to "check in"with their Mama's! Please don't Ferberize her! Co-sleeping is the way many of us working Mom's have managed to meet the needs of our children and ourselves.

Contrary to popular belief, "needy" is GOOD for babies! They demand the care that they know they need to THRIVE. In fact, all of the major studies show that secure "attachment", or the "mother/baby dance" or "intuitive parenting" leads to healthy, well-balanced, independent children.

The task of any new parent is trusting the process... each baby "unfolds" at her own pace. Trust your "Mama gut" to know what is best for her--and it will most likely be different than what is best for other children in your life. Your babe is uniquely HERSELF, and should be treated as such!

I saw a lot of reference to calendar dates and clock times on your post... that stuff will drive you crazy! Stay in the moment, meet the need, and move on! No need to "check the clock" to see if it is an OK time for your baby to need you... am I making my point? :-)!

I guarantee that if you move more toward intuitive and instinctual parenting and stop "fighting" her on what she is asking for you will get into a nice rhythm with each other (with the occasional "hiccup").

Try the book: Our Babies Ourselves, How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent by Meredith Small. Sounds deep... it's not. An easy read that gives you "permission" to follow your instincts. A fun read is: Let the Baby Drive (author?).

Best of luck Mama! Trust your baby... skip the paci if your breast is available... it is so much more than the transfer of nutrients...

HI Cathy, I am so sorry you are sick.Is your baby teething? Have you checked her gums? If this is the case, it will pass. You can give her some baby Motrin and she will sleep better. One more note. I have raised 5 and have brought my baby into bed with me when necessary. They all grew up fine and were not spoiled. If it means you getting some sleep, do it. My best, Grandma Mary

None of my babies slept through the night until they were about 2. We co-sleep and nurse on demand. We are currently doing this with the 6 month old. I have to tell you, you are not going to ruin her for letting her sleep with you. Our 2 older girls which are now 3 and 4 sleep in their own beds and are just fine. I would say you working 3 nights at the shift you're pulling is probably the culprit right now. Could also be a growth spurt though. Just let her sleep with you on the nights you are home, nurse her when she wants (it's not just a food thing). You will NOT ruin her and you'll more than likely get some better sleep (at least on the nights you are home).

I am having this EXACT problem. 5 month old daughter- slept beautifully until she learned how to flip over (not sure if this has any correlation) about a week ago. Now it seems that she can wake up every 40 minutes. Would she nurse if I let her? Definitely- but I am trying to teach her that DAYTIME is for eating and NIGHT TIME is for sleeping! I do however bring her into the bed with us by about 3am if she wakes up howling. She goes back to sleep much faster between us in bed, with a pacifier. I just figured it was her beginning to teeth and maybe having some gas? (She started solids about a week and a half ago...) Sorry I don't have any TIPS but it's nice to know I am not the only one who has a baby whose sleep habits just changed so radically!

My daughter was sleeping 8 hours and then started getting up as well at 4 months. I did try feeding her and she would go back to sleep quickly. I told the doctor and he said to start her on solids early - she was drinking a mixture of breastmilk and formula - about 40oz a day. I did and she started sleeping 10 hours. I think she was just hungry. It was wonderful.

Sounds like she is ready for cereal in the evening! My first child was a great sleeper, until 51/2 months - I wanted to wait on cereal until 6 months as she was also entirely on breast milk, but I gave in...and she started sleeping through again!

Try a sound machine in the bedroom. The white noise may help because it is constant and will help make any other noise less noticeable. Give the baby a little more time to get back to sleep before going to her. Get a video monitor if you can, you and your husband can sleep in the livingroom for a few days. This helps because you are less likely to go to her too quickly and you can see that she is fine by looking at the baby monitor.

It sounds like your schedule is killing you...see if you can do something about it...try home care...many agencies have nurses doing home visits for great pay (my mom did it for something like 15 years, now she is a nurse manager)...you CANNOT FUNCTION WITH A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP ONLY EVERY OTHER DAY, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

With the bronchitis, you have an emergency on your hands and should recruit every mom or grandma you know to help you out

And it also sounds like you are not into co-sleeping. Forcing yourself into it is no good for you or your child. We did the old fashioned "cry it out" sleep training on the advice of our pediatrician. Your baby's liver produces all the nutrition she needs during the night...anything else is habit.

It took a while, but every day got a bit better and I am telling you that my 6 month old son is one of the happiest little people you'll ever meet. It had nothing but good effects on our bonding. Our nights are better, our days are better, and every parent I know who did the same thing (even if they didn't plan on it) is well-rested and happy.

The only warning we were given is not to dabble in it...if you decide to sleep train, pick a night and STICK TO IT

Good luck!

I had almost the exact situation you describe. Having the baby in your room with you makes using Ferber or Weissbluth's (Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby) techniques difficult. First, I think your daughter is a little young for CIO so I would say do anything you like so that you all get a good night sleep until she is closer to nine months (which is when I've read babies are neurologically mature enough to do CIO). We slept with our daughter and I was sure I had made a bad habit that would be impossible to break but after a couple of months she didn't like it anymore because the bed became too small for all of us after she could move around well. At this age they are very moldable. The one thing I would be careful about is feeding her at night except on the schedule you have her on. This is the mistake I made. First my daughter woke a few times a night and I nursed because I thought she was hungry and needed the food (she was breast fed only). But soon she was waking every hour or two and that is when I realized she was dependent on me to fall back asleep. By then we were trapped with this new routine. If the pacifier is what your daughter craves, my mother taught me a technique where after you insert the pacifier into the mouth and she has a good grip on it, tug a little on it as if you were going to pull it out. This helped my daughter get a really good hold of the pacifier and seemed to help her keep it in her mouth longer.

If you are really desperate for a good night's sleep and want to try the CIO in a few months, I had success with Weissbluth. He recommends if you share a room to plan to sleep in the living room for a couple weeks and getting ear plugs or whatever so that you can't hear the crying - do you have a pullout sofa or air mattress? It took me a little longer than it should have because if she sounded like she was in real distress I did go in to check on her but when I was finally committed to trying the method because I was so exhausted it took five nights. She has slept through the night ever since. What I liked about Dr. Weissbluth's book is he emphasizes the importance of everyone in the family needing to be well rested and that helped me not feel guilty for wanting a solid seven hour sleep. Also Weissbluth explains how important consolidated sleep is for babies too so you don't feel like you are doing this for only your benefit.

If CIO is too abrupt for you, I have a friend who used the Baby Whisperer technique and it worked with her daughter. Every baby is different and you will know what method will work for you and her. It is very difficult to hear your baby cry so do whatever method you are comfortable with and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for getting to that good night's rest. We were all happier in the end - truly. Hope this helps.

I had a very similar problem with my daughter. She was sleeping through the night, and then all of a sudden was getting up several times a night. I would go in and nurse her just because it was the quickest way to get us both back to sleep. But I knew this couldn't be a permanent solution. I finally got us into a routine that worked. Dinner at 6:30, playing until 7:30, then we did bath time. After bath I brought her in her room, and didn't come back out with her. She got a new diaper and pajamas, then we read a book, said our prayers and sang a song. I gave her a kiss and said good night, laid her down and left. My husband and I agreed that we would only go in every 15 minutes, NOT PICK HER UP, just lay her back down. (She was a little older wen we finally figured it out, so she'd be standing in her crib at this point) The first night was rough, but each night got better and better, and by the 4th night, she was sleeping through the night all by herself. I know it's so hard to do what you think you are supposed to when you are so tired. And with your schedule and bedroom set up, I'm sure it will be even harder. It's going to get worse before it gets better but it will get better. Come up with a bedtime routine that works for you and your husband and promise each other you'll stick to it no matter what. I felt so alone through all of this since I was breast feeding too but once my husband and I got on the same page and realized we both wanted the same thing, it became easier.

Of course this would be a decision totally up to you, your husband, and doctor, but maybe starting her on some cereal will help if she is still hungry?

Just trust your mom instinct and that you know what's best for you and your family in your situation. Deep breaths... patience... this too shall pass! Good Luck!

Hi Cathy,

I feel your pain I went through this with my daughter as well. I am a believer in cry it out and did it with both of my kids. However, I didn't do it until they were almost a year old. It was difficult at that age, however I do not think it is recommended until your baby is at least 6 months old. My daughter suffered terrible ear problems which I did not know about until I took her to a different pediatrician to find out what the problem was. The poor thing had an abscess behind a ball of wax in her ear and my other doctor never found it. She would be up every hour screaming so I didn't know what sleep was either. I know you are confident she is not hungry, and I did not breastfeed so I am not very knowledgeable about the subject. I am wondering is it possible with you being so run down your milk supply is also down. Just a thought. Listening to your baby cry it out is really difficult and I know when I did it I had so many things going through my mind. Is she hungry, is she sick, is it teething, am I doing the right thing. I think before I would do try it I would make sure it is not hunger, not illness, teething etc. This way once you commit to a sleep method and not doubt yourself and remain consistent. Once you start sleep training it is really important to remain consistent or the only message you will be sending is if I cry long enough she will take me out which can set you back even further. When my daughter was 1 she had tubes put in her ears for the ear infections which helped tremendously. At that point we were driving her in the car to get her to sleep. Once I knew she was pain free I asked the doctor if if would be okay to do cry it out and he said yes. As difficult as it was we did it. It was really hard but I was a walking zombie from lack of sleep. It was really effecting me in every way. I still had another child to care for and a house to run so I knew it was the right thing for all of us. It did work in three nights she was sleeping though the night and was a different child. I have never been a co-sleeper I was never comfortable with it. Some people love it, which is fine but not for me. I was a stay at home mom and at night I needed my space. There is nothing wrong with needing to get your sleep and wanting your child to sleep independently. It does not make you a bad mother. As a mother we have to consider ourselves as well which we rarely do. Remember happy mommy happy home. Good luck!!!

Dear Cathy,
One of the main purposes of breastmilk is that it is easy to digest, especially for newborns. As months pass and the digestive system develops further, breastmilk simply passes too quickly through the system. The affect is like drinking a glass of water, and does not keep them satisfied for long.
My suggestion would be to put a few flakes of rice cereal in the evening bottle (increase the size of the hole in the nipple). The cereal slows down the digestive process during the night, allowing them to sleep longer.
I know I couldnt' sleep through the night on a glass of water. I wish you luck, W.

Hi Kathy!
My only thought while reading this is that she's probably really hungry. My daughter did the same thing and she was breastmilk only but, she started doing this around 5 months and it only stopped when I started giving her a little bit of organic cereal mixed with breastmilk. Its definitely worth a shot...her tummy might be grumbling and could be causing her to cry, each time you give her her pacifier maybe she's in hopes that food is there but when its not, she cries. Most babies who are breastfed tend to start eating some sort of cereal by 6 months and I'd say she's close enough to that point. She may be hitting a growth spurt and needing more substance in her diet. You need some sleep, hun! So does she! Try doing a little cereal mixed with breastmilk before bed...nurse her first and then if she's still hungry, give her some of that. I bet you'll see a big difference! Good luck!

I'm in the process of implementing some of Weissbluth's ideas. I don't like all of what he says, but he offers good info on the mechanics of sleep (ex: babies typically will become tired within 2 hours of waking). I say do whatever will help you get the most rest. If that means co-sleeping, then do it. I did that with my first. While I don't regret it exactly, I believe it did encourage him to nurse more frequently. I would wake up every am drained, literally physically and emotionally. There was nothing left for me. Finally, at ten months, I couldn't take the all-night nursing anymore, so we worked to transition him to a crib (he also started kicking and sleeping horizontally in our bed--none of us were sleeping well). I really wanted to continue to co-sleep, but it just didn't work for us. And I hoped that baby #2 would be easygoing and just fit in with our schedule--I pictured me carrying her in the front carrier, going about our day with the toddler, and that she would nurse and sleep as needed, in harmony and in-sync. That was a dream. In reality, I've found she's one of those babies who does not sleep well outside of her bed--she won't nap in the carseat or the stroller. So I think others are well-intended when they tell you to just go with it, that you and the baby will fall into a pattern. You will, but it could take a long time! I let my son find his own pattern, and it took a year. With baby #2 I'm going to gently encourage her pattern to emerge. Long story short, find what works for you. Try the Weissbluth book--it's good for establishing a framework--ie, they should nap about 2 hours in the am, then be up for about 2 hours, etc. Good luck!