So why did we plan the trip? Well, he WAS really excited. But something has happened and I don't know what. He's very imaginative. And he doesn't watch much TV. Heaven knows. Whatever it is...and he's having a hard time explaining it (he is only 4)...I've somehow got to get him on the plane without trauma and keep him from having one during the trip. I've got lots of books on hold at the library that I'll be picking up today on little children's stories of flying in planes. Any other advice? Is there a children's dramamine? I'm thinking about calling the doctor too for ideas. I've got lots for him to do during the flight, but his fear is beginning to freak ME out a bit. I'd love, love, love for him to sleep the whole time, but that's SO not going to happen! He travels great in a car for hours (we take lots of road trips!). I don't know. We're leaving next Wednesday and I'm getting nervous about this problem...I appreciate any and all of your advice! Thanks!
Well, ladies, I got my little guy to start talking positive about the trip to FL (instead of refusing to go) and he was excited about the special gum (Bubblicious). We read some really cute and good books from the library too. Unfortunately, as the plane pulled up to the gate he wigged out completely. My husband held him all the way down the walkway to the plane screaming and crying. I kept telling the flight attendants in front of me, 'positive words!' as I pointed behind me to my frightened child. They did and when he actually got on the plane, I said, 'See all the people? It's going to be okay.' He completely chilled out and sat next to his dad and went on and on about how great the whole thing was. On the trip home he was like a pro. I was so proud of him and told him so! So this was clearly a fear of the unknown! Whew! Thanks again ladies!
He may have heard something from one of his buddies. Or he may be sensing something about it. I suggest ask him what he's feeling. Also ask if he heard something from someone. Hope that helps.
E.
My nieces had the same problem when their mom took them from St.l to California to visit relatives. She called the Dr. & he said to give them a Benadril right before you get on the plane (they were 2 & 3 @ the time) & that should keep them out the whole time they are in flight. Once they slept it off they were fine. I know that sounds drastic but if you only give them one it's cheaper & a lot safer than giving a sleeping pill or anything like that. Hope it all works out for you.
Can you get him to draw a picture of what he's afraid of or what happened that made him afraid of airplanes? Although it could be hard to decipher the picture, it might help you figure out the cause. Or have him "act" it out with toys?
Our 4-year-old loves airplanes, so we sometimes go to the little airport nearby and watch the planes take off and land. He's never actually been on an airplane, though. I don't know if watching the planes would help for your son, or just make the problem worse.
Since your trip is coming up so soon, you might not be able to switch flights, but it could be something to consider. Maybe an overnight flight so that he's likely to sleep through most of it?
I think the books are a good idea--and they might help him communicate his fears, too.
Good luck, and have a safe trip!
--A.
You could also try giving your son some Benadryl. I took my son to South Carolina this summer and we even had connecting flights. I gave him some Benadryl and he did sleep the entire way. The doctor said it would be safe for me to give to him. My son has had a lot of ear infections so I was concerned about his ears on the flight. The doctor said that Benadryl would clear up any congestion he had and would help to relax him. I didn't have any problem taking the Benadryl on the plane with me either. Hope this helps a little!
I have a book series of First Experiences that is $4.99 each. One of them is First time going on an Airplane! They are VERY cute books and has really helped my boys during first experiences, it is a fun way to bring it down to their level and get them excited about the whole experience.
Let me know if you would like to look into this.
online catalog: www.ubah.com/W2474
email: ____@____.com
Full Series - $4.99 each: Going to the Hospital, Going to the Doctor, Going to School, Going to the Dentist, The New Baby, Moving House, Going on a Plane, Going to a Party.
Also the Complete Book of First Experiences is $19.99 and it also includes: The New Puppy (which is 9 books in one...saving $24.92)
at 4 years old, they are really excited to see Santa Claus at the mall too, but alot of them find the reality of Santa to be really scary. They cry, scream and refuse to sit in his lap.
Keep the child away from the t.v., if he saw something on tv about flying and crashing it could have scared him. Also, could the 7 year old have said something in jest to tease him and frighten him about flying? My brother was a creep about teasing me and there was only 3 years between us.(I love my brother with all my heart, but his sense of appropriate humor at that age wasn't always thoughtful, and often was pointedly geared to scaring me)
I would look for books that are about taking a plane trip. Friendly books, smiling people... If the doctor can't give you dramamine, benydryl will make him sleepy if he doesn't take it often(and will help with any allergy issues at the new place you are traveling to)
Yes, there is a children's version of Dramamine it's called Bonamine I think. The gum idea is really good to at least get you off the ground but face it, if he's screaming his head off you really don't need the gum. Frankly, I'd be even more devious...if you can't get him to draw what he is scared of or divert him before hand with a toy airplane to roll play, then I would use sleep depravation...YEP, you heard me, deprive the little guy from as much sleep as possible (which of course is going to be hell b/c he's going to be crabby and so are you...BUT....) get a bottle of liquid Tylenol PM and dose him for the amount of regular Tylenol you would give him based on his weight (which I'm guessing will probably be close to a tsp)...do this about 20 minutes before you get on the plane. I guarantee, if he's not asleep by take off (which you don't really want b/c you want him to pop his ears or it's going to hurt even worse later), then he will very, very soon be sleeping away on your trip. Sneaky and underhanded but when you positively absolutely HAVE to have them go down, this works! It's far more dependable than Benadryl b/c some kids actually have a hyperactive response to Benadryl which would be the opposite effect that you are going for!
One work...Benadryl. It worked like a charm for our daughter. I will never fly again without it.
Good Morning R., I think once you actually get on the plane he will be ok. If he can look out the window see all the things below and how pretty it is. I suppose you could give him some night time Tylenol for children if you feel he is going to freak out. But I would wait on that.
One thing though, Don't you freak out over his fears, just reassure him it is going to be exciting and fun to fly. He won't be OK if he feels or sees your anxiety.
I am not saying to ignore his fears, just reassure him it's going to be fun and ok.
Good Luck and have a great trip
K. Nana of 5
You have already received lots of great advice. I have a little one who gets very anxious and it comes across as fear. I would play down the plane ride and the trip. I have found that if I talk things up to much or get overly excited about an event, then the anxiety of the approaching event is too much and he freaks. My daughter is in dance and every year they have a big recital. Her dance teacher tells us not to talk it up to much because we can create fears where none would have been. Good luck!
There are some good tips, but I would suggest practice flying. Take a day or evening and set up the living room to look airplane-like. Set chairs up in rows, have the kids draw a picture of a window and what might be outside it, etc., etc. Then have your four year old role play getting on the airplane, buckling his seat belt, staying in the seat, etc. Obviously you aren't going to sit in your living room for 2 hours or more ;) but it's a start! Talk about everything you can and have the kids practice, practice, practice. Maybe the older brother might even have fun being the pilot and announcing things over the 'loud speaker'...be silly and hopefully it will start to ease his mind if he knows what he can expect.
R., whatever you do try to stay positive. any negative emotions you're feeling about it will only feed his, and (in his mind) justify his fears. stay positive, build up how much fun it's going to be, have him help you pack the bags, get him some new goodies, whether it's gum, snacks, books, make him a part of it as much as you can. i would definitely call his dr. just to see what they say. just keep in mind, it'll be fine, and project that to him. good luck...let us know how it goes!
My husband and I fly back and forth to Europe every 3-4 weeks with our 16 mos old son. For him, we pack a goodie bag with small, inexpensive surprises for each flight and we ration them so he has new surprises. Our trips take anywhere from 23-27 hours of straight travel so it's really useful to have a variety of small books and toys. My ped. has told me I could give Benadryl. It however, has not really helped him sleep. I myself am terrified of flying but make certain my son does not see it since we fly so often. I know my son is younger but we have several toy airplanes for him along with flying storybooks. What works for me is to not talk it up too much or worry about it too much beforehand, then the fear gets much more out of control. Good luck!
R.,
My 3 yo had been on many planes and this summer for no apparent reason decided she was scared. So we came up with a better game plan for the way home (the way there was traumatic for all of us!) We have a portable dvd player and after early boarding we put in the dvd and gave her headphones. When the flight attendant told us to turn it off, we had a treat for her to eat. All things to distract her. If you don't want to use the dvd player (or don't have one you can use) maybe try music-if you have an ipod or cd player. The other idea I have is to make a book with him about where you are going, maybe what you will be doing on the trip-people he will see and then bring it on the plane and go over it while you are getting ready to leave. Lastly a small new book or toy is always helpful. We started bringing earplugs for the passengers around us if our daughter started to scream. I hope you find the right solution and have an easy flight. Let us know how it goes and what trick worked for you (I am always looking for new ideas)
A 4 yr old scared of flying that is normal to me.Heck i'm 28 yrs old and scared out of my mind to fly never have and in case of an emergency I might have to with DRUGS!!
Hi, R.--
Since it seems it may be something in his imagination and he's having a hard time verbalizing it, you might have him draw (or tell you a story or act it out with dolls, power rangers, etc) the experience he's imagining (not necessarily the happy one you'd like) just so you can get a clearer picture of what's happening in his little mind. Really find a way to see his fear. You'll have a clearer picture of what you can do to help him be relieved of the stress of it, versus distracting or medicating him through it.
I also have a friend who is a hypnotherapist and has helped many people, including children, work through fears and phobias. She's often successful with just one session! Her name is Kelly Murphy, and her office is in Lenexa. ###-###-####.)
All the best to you and your little guy!
T.
The way most airports put you on planes you wouldn't necessarily know you were getting on one if you were four.
I tried to not tell my kids (5 and younger) until the day of. If I told them a week before they drove me crazy. If we were going to grandmas' I told them that morning and they would be soooo excited.
I think I would just quit talking about it and probably do the benadryl.
Gum! We are going to Disney world next summer and we talked to our four year old about flying and how you have to chew gum so your ears don't pop. We told her she would get to pick out lots of gum to take with us, I think she may be more excited about that than actually going to Disney World. Also, we are getting her a portable DVD player so she can watch movies on the way there and she has an MP3 Fisher Price player and we are going to let her pick songs to listen to while she flies.
And if all else fails, you can maybe give a dose of Benedryl to relax her and possibly make her fall asleep.
Hope that helps.
