Help - 3 Yeard Old with Public Restroom Fear!

Hi S., my daughter went thru the same thing, the automatic one flushed while she was on it and she freaked out. what worked for us was I covered the button and then it would flush after she got out of the stall. she goes by herself now, but will still not flush the toilets in public bathrooms and frankly, I don't care if she doesn't since she was traumatized so much when she was younger. That was the only thing that got her over it, was I told her she didn't have to flush! so I go in after her and do it when she is washing her hands, maybe you can try that! good luck!

My oldest son was terrified of public restrooms for the longest time. We ended up bringing a portable potty in the car and let him use that until he overcame his fear. I can't remember how long it took but it eventually fixed itself.

Has she been able to express why she is afraid? I know sometimes when something is going on with my 2.5 year old daughter I get so caught up with trying to fix the problem I forget to ask her. You dindn't say if you had asked. You probably have, but it's something I forget!

Maybe try going before her everytime and letting her "help" you. My daughter likes to hold onto my legs while I go so I won't fall in.

I know the automatic flushing is only part of the problem, but for that, check out this product: Flush Stopper at pottytrainingsolutions dot com (I'm spelling "dot com" since mamasource won't allow website info.) Good luck!

We had exactly the same issue with my daughter! We were completely at a loss. We had one of those portible potties that everyone suggests that you keep in the car. Well, we were getting embarrassed having her pee next to the car (I think some people use them in the car but we preferred not to) so we started taking the portable potty into public restrooms. We would carry it into the bathroom and use it in the handicapped stall so she was next to the big toilet. Yes, I even carried it into the mall and took her to family restrooms there. My husband finally get fed up and decided to try to work on her fear. He took her to the bathroom and made big deal about putting toilet paper or the seat cover on the seat. Then he sat on the seat clothed and held her on his lap. Then he suggested she try pulling down her pants. Slowly he convinced her to sit on the toilet seat and hold his hands and/or the handicapped bar. It worked!! We went out and bought her a present after that! From then on she was insistent we follow the procedure but wasn't afraid anymore. Now she holds my hands when I sit down to go!

Try bringing in your own potty seat. One of the ones that goes on top of the toilet.

Here is some advice from the lady who did 3 day toilet training:

"Create a fun "bye bye bag" or backpack for your child. In this you will have things like hand sanitizer, stickers, a little pack of wipes and toilet seat covers. You can find toilet seat covers in the "travel/trial size" are of the store. Let your child see this bag and get used to the items in it and then tell your child that it's for when they go bye bye and have to use public restrooms."

Hope this helps,
K.

Try a Post-it note on the Auto flush scensor

I think you've already tried everything possible! Just make sure she goes to the potty before you leave anywhere and don't take her along on errands that are going to take more than a few hours.

My daughters (twins) went through the same thing. We were at a lighthouse in CA and the fit they through in the bathroom stall was talked about by many of the other visitors. Luckily no one saw us, so they didn't know it was us as they told the story to their friends & family all around the area. It is very difficult as a mom, but I knew for them it was every bit as scary as my fear of flying. I explained to them that I knew it was scary to them and that I also knew it wouldn't hurt them, I asked them to be brave and that I would be there to get them through. (It did take me a while to get to that point) I have lots of stories and I just want you to know you are not alone! My girls are not afraid anymore.

Wow, you've really tried a log of great ideas. I have a couple more ideas for you:

Put one of those non "portable" seats in a backpack and take with you. I am referring to the kind you probably use at home, the hard ring that goes directly onto the toilet and makes the seat smaller. Your portable dora ring might feel floppy and not secure enough? I did that for a while with my daughter who was scared of the size of the toilet opening.

Have your daughter activate the flush (standing, fully clothed, stall open (in the big handicap stall) Maybe this will acclimate her.

Or, just simply go and visit the public restrooms at every possible chance. Especially when she does NOT have to pee. I know its a pain in the butt, but (lol) it might get her used to being around toilets/flushing. You could even make an event out of it. Find a public bathroom that you can stand to be around for some time and simply hang out in it. Don't worry, people will come and go, they won't realize what you are doing. If you're nervous, go stake out your claim on the biggest baddest handicap stall you can find and hang out there. Add in the occasional flush or you sittng on the potty. Be funny when it "accidentally" flushes with you still on it.

If this doesn't work, keep a port a potty in your car (with a roll of leak proof liners. Not ideal, not convenient, kind of gross, but holdig pee for long periods is worse.

Good luck!

Oh, and although I understand why you did it, the one thing I would not do again it timeouts. It's not misbehavior, its fear.

My son had a similar incedent with the potty flushing while he was pooping. I carried the little post it notes in a purse for awhile. If he had to go, he put one of those on the sensor, did his business and then took it off when he was ready for it to flush. I worked for us, that may help and she will be in control so she might not be scared.