Head Hitter

When he hits his head, stop him and say something like, I know that you are......., but it is better if you hit this big nerf ball (or something like that). Keep is real simple. And find something that is small enough for him to handle but makes a big enough wush for him to feel satisfied.

You could also get him a football helmet, but I think this is just a phase until he learns to use words.

Speaking of words, you could tell him to yell when he is upset rather than bump his head. It is noisier, but safer.

Good luck.

I think this behaviour is called "rock-n-roll" baby. It is triggered by the need of the babies to find "a rhythm" that they would like. Usually is recommended that you buy his first drums, play some loud rock-n-roll music and dance with him. The "dancing" should include lots of clapping, stomping and noise making movements. Pull out all the pans from the kitchen, spread them on the floor and give him wooden spoons to bang on them. The best approach is to join him and have some fun together making noise, otherwise you need to run to the pharmacy and get some years plugs. And it is a phase... Good luck!

How developed are your son's verbal skills? Many children who have speech delays use head banging as a means of communicating their frustration, their problems... to get your attention. When he does this, pick him up and hold him close and talk with him. Give him the words and wait for an acknowledgement, like a shake or nod of his head. Work on verbal communication skills. Let him know that when he bangs his head, he's hurting himself really bad and he doesn't want to do that. Two is a frustrating age, not only for parents, but for the toddler as well. Things in their world, with their bodies are changing rapidly. You expect more out of a toddler than an infant. They are left alone more, their needs aren't met immediately but when the adult gets around to it or they're put on a stricter schedule. Can imagine having to wait for a drink of water until someone else gets to it not necessarily when you need/want it? It's frustrating. Couple that with not being able to express yourself with words. UGH!!! I have a child that couldn't talk until he was 3 yrs old with his first word. He didn't verbalize very well until he was 4. You need to have your son accessed for any speech delays. There are a variety of causes. Sign language might be an appropriate bridge language for him. But give him a means of communicating his frustrations without doing bodily harm to himself. But by all means, when he does this pick him up and snuggle him. Calm him. I know many adults who feel like pounding their heads against a wall or hit their foreheads with the palm of their hands. He's no different. Best of luck.

My doctor told me that it's an attention getter and if I ignore him when he does it, he'll eventually stop. The dr. also says he won't do it hard enough to do any damage because he doesn't want to hurt himself, he just wants the attention he gets from doing it. If you say ANYTHING to him, he has succeeded in getting what he wanted. Some kids hold their breaths till they turn blue, some kids bang their heads. They are just trying to figure out what works. He eventually stopped doing it and never had a head injury in the process, so I guess that's good!

My son did the same thing for about 2 years. I asked his doctor about it and she said it is farily common behavior for kids of that age because they can't articulate their emotions. Her suggestion was to acknowledge that he was angry or frustrated, and that it was OK, but Mommy really doesn't want him to get hurt. Encourage him to tell you what's happening, even if all he wants to do is yell. Its better than banging up his noggin. Also, his doc said that he really isn't doing any permanent damage.

It took a while, but he only hits his head occasionally now.

I have a two-year that was in the same boat. The daycare and the social worker tried to find the cause, but since my son did not want to talk, we could not figure out the cause. My mother thought if we take a different approach, it might work. Every time my son would charge us to head-butt us, we gave him a hug. This simple act of kindness completely ended all the head-butting. It is worth a shot.

When my son was about the same age he would throw himself backwards on the floor when he was mad. Of course this concerned me greatly and worried about any head trauma he may cause himself. His Pediatrician told me that he will eventually realize it hurts and stop, and not to give in to the fits. So I guess what I am saying is dont acknowledge what he is doing and don't comfort him. I know you worry about him hurting himself, so just glance at his head to make sure he is ok. For some crazy reason kids will inflict pain on themselves for attention, and he needs to know that it is not ok. I feel for you and wish you the best of luck!!

this is incredibly normal for this age group, it comes from not being able to communicate. a family i babysat for years ago would pick up the upset child (all 4 of their kids did it at some point), remove the child from the situation and started giving him words to describe how s/he felt. "you're mad mad mad! so mad mad mad! let's fix fix fix!" and then they'd help calm down the child and try and figure out what was going on. after a while, the kids learned to say/scream MAD when they felt mad, and the parents would do what they could to diffuse the situation (until, of course, the kids were old enough to learn how to diffuse and cope themselves).
i hope this helps!

S.,

You could try what we do with our kids when they do something dumb that hurts: look at them and say, "Don't do that, it hurts". Or "That's what you get for doing ______".

Softly,
Melissa

My son was doing this exact thing for almost a year. I was worried that he was going to seriously injure himself. I realized that the headbanging was a way to get attention from me. I started ignoring his headbanging unless he did seriously injure himself. Eventually he stopped, realizing he wasn't going to get my attention that way.

My oldest son did this around the same age. Initially, I tried to discourage him from doing it, though the more I paid attention to it, the more he did it. I then decided to not focus on it and try not to react when he did it. Basically I just tried to ignore it as much as possible, as long as it wasn't too bad, like if he was hitting his head on the couch or carpeted floor (not too hard) or something. If he started doing it on the wall or somewhere hard, then I would get really excited about something else to distract him with, but still not acknowledge what he was doing. Once I started doing that, he literally stopped doing it within a few days.

I think the rhythm idea is an interesting one too. Both of my boys LOVE the drums.

Just know that it's normal, especially for boys around the age of 2, and it will pass.

Good luck!

Hi S.,

My daughter did that too at that age, so I think it is very normal. She was doing it for the attention of course, because they get so much when they hurt themselves. I just stopped giving her the attention she wanted when she did it. I would tell her, "that hurt didn't it." Sometimes I would laugh out loud at her because it was so obvious she wasn't really hurt it was funny, and she didn't like that one bit lol. We just kept up not giving her any sympathy when she did it and it eventually went away. She even tried biting herself for a while, and saying "ow" so i would bite her a little bit too, and make a game of it telling her, "oh you must like that, here I will bite you too!" And she wasn't appreciative of me making fun of her, so she eventually stopped both behaviors when she didn't get the reactions that she wanted. Good luck.:)