Having Trouble Weaning 1 Year Old Son(engorged Breasts)

I tried to breastfeed my 4 yr old son when he was born, didn't go well and ended up not happening. I was soooo sore that it brought me to tears many times. I called my Dr's office and they said to buy a head of cabbage and put a few leaves in the freezer and then in my bra. I thought they were crazy but amazingly it worked. Don't ask my why but it did helped in so many ways! Good Luck and hang in there!

Hi. I've been there, only at the beginning when trying to get my twins to breastfeed and I can only describe them as lazy sucklers. By day 5 I was so engorged, I rented a hospital-grade breast pump for relief (and the benefit of making bottles.) But before that glorious pump, I'd take 2 tiny diapers and fill w/ cold water and lay down w/ them on my chest! That felt good!

Before the twins I had my perfect text-book baby girl, nursed and slept like a dream. She had no problem quitting the breast 3wks before turning one(I had to return to my migraine meds.) I just remember one breast still being full, so I expressed some milk into the sink and that was that.

But what really caught my eye was your "struggling to be a christian" comment. I've been there, too! Before my twins I had 3 miscarriages and thought God had totally abandoned me, but I realized that, NO, God is w/ us through anything and everything and w/ the power and love of Jesus Christ I found hope and strength and carried my twins w/out any fear and had complete peace from conception through delivery and even now as I hear them singing "No more monkeys jumping on the bed" upstairs. (Dear God, I hope they're not really jumping on their toddler beds!) I better check!

Blessings to you!
K. in Ohio

D.,

Weaning is supposed to be a gradual process, and children do not develop on a strict schedule of "ready for weaning at exactly 1 year."

First, ease your pain by feeding your baby. Now, review all the weaning information and note that you want to first only remove one feeding, not the whole day. Your baby may not even be ready for weaning yet. I did not experience any pain when I weaned my babies. It was a very gradual process, and the baby was already eating solid food. As baby ate more food, my body naturally produced less milk. It took more than a month for complete weaning. Also, I might mention that I nursed my babies each time until they were two years old.

Best wishes,
K.

When I weaned my children I would slowly decrease feedings. If you are set on not nursing you son at all any more you can do what the other lady said. You do need to avoid any stimulation to the breast and you also need to watch when you are in the shower, don't let the hot water run over your body to long this can cause you to let down.

If you decide to wean by taking away feedings you could accomplish this over the next month or so. I would continue to nurse in the morning, at nap time and at night before bed. Take away any of the other feedings during the day, if your son really acts like he wants to nurse steer him towards the sippy cup or even a snack don't let him nurse!!!! Over the next couple weeks try not nursing him before his nap offer him the sippy cup. At 14 months I was only nursing my third at night and in the morning, shortly after that I just dropped the morning feeding then the night time feeding.

This may help you to allow your body time to dry up with out feeling the discomfort or having any problems (ie mastitis, clogged ducts.) I always said I wanted to stop nursing my children by 12 months, however with my third I decided as long as I was only nursing at home I was ok to let her go a little longer!!!

Hope this helps you a little!!

A.

It is good to hear that you and your husband talked about and agreed upon the weaning time. It helps to not have any kind of conflict or stress when you are in the kind of pain that you are. I totally understand the can't put the arms down thing. You might try releasing a little milk (couple of tablespoons or so)from your breasts when they get too bad. This won't completely get rid of the pain and might prolong the milk flow some, but it will help you feel better. As far as struggling in your Christian walk, I know I have and I think that most people do. We are not perfect (we can't be)but we are trying to be Christ-like. Just keep reminding yourself, "I can do all things through Christ which strenthens me." I will be praying for you.

Wean him slowly! Pick a feeding where he doesn't nurse as long. Normally it's an afternoon nursing. Once he is doing ok with the one feeding gone, cut out another one and so on. He'll be weaned within a month or two. The night nursings are the hardest to give up (for baby and for mom). They don't give the pill to dry up milk anymore because it was causing seizures. I've also heard that cabbage leaves (raw) stuffed in a sports bra help. I've never tried it, but many people swear by it. If you are so engorged that you are in pain, you are running the risk of getting mastitis. However, if you pump, you'll continue to produce milk. Sort of a catch 22. If weaning is something you are adamant about, stick with it. If it is too hard to wean right now, go ahead and nurse. There is nothing wrong with still nursing your little guy.

I would suggest getting a hand pump in between you breast feeding your son. Slowly you should try to aim for only 2 or 3 feedings a day (morning, nap, bed time), then take it to two, then one. Once at one let him nurse for shorter amounts of time, little by little. In between feedings, if you are in pain use the pump, don't pump until you are empty, only until you don't hurt so much. Basically you want to trick your body into thinking the "baby" isn't eating so much, that way it will produce less and less. The worst thing you can do is just stop breast feeding all at once, work at it little by little. What you do with the milk is up to you.

Also, is your doc male or a female with no children? The advice was really vague and not very helpful.

Good luck.

It took about 3 weeks before my breasts stopped hurting. I don't know of anything to take to ease the discomfort. I did let warm water from the shower hit my breasts a little and that helped some. Letting a little bit of milk out won't make you keep producing if you only ensure its just a little. good luck.

What your doctor said is right. All you can do is wear a tight fitting bra and put ice on your breasts. It does hurt like heck when you are drying up. Also you can take motrin but you can also take aleve which I found worked better for me than motrin or tylenol did. It will take some time and you will be in pain but that is about the only thing you can do. It takes about a week for the milk to completely dry up and try to keep your son away from your breasts because the clawing at them isn't going to make them feel any better. The only other thing I can suggest is to massage them gently to help ease some pain. It is painful but as you start drying up the pain will lessen.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

CABBAGE LEAVES. sounds so bizzare, but a post-partum nurse told me to do it and it totally works for some strange reason. just buy some cabbage, and stick the leaves in your bra. something in the cabbage helps soften up your breasts and releive the pain.

D.,
Congrats on at least trying to become a Christian woman!!!It's hard work itself!
Have you tried putting ice packs(flexible ones) in your sports bra during the day?? Or esp. after his feeding? As you slowly take down his feedings your body will sense the decrease and will stop on it's own. You'll see the difference before you know it. Is nighttime his good time to nurse?? If so, cut down all the others and save that one for last. Try putting some of your breast milk in his "sippy" to help him transition better to a cup.
Take things day by day.
Good luck and God bless!
R.

If you have a pump, you can try pumping "to comfort". What that means is that you go as long as you can possibly stand it, then pump (or you could hand express) only as long as it takes to relieve the discomfort. This should only take a few minutes. When done, again wait as long as possible before you do it again. When I decided to stop, I would go 8 hours in between pumping, then 12, then 24, and in about a week the pain and engorgement went away. I'm surprised your doctor suggested 'binding' them with a tight sports bra - that could lead to mastitis and you definitely don't want that!

I went through this about 6 months ago...and I looked EVERYTHING UP I could on line about how to deal with this. I drank sage tea. I couldn't find a "sage" tea anywhere - and trust me we went all over because of the amount of pain I was in. So, we got sage and used a tea steeper and just put it in regular tea and let it steep for a while. I drank about three to four cups a day. Along with weening, this worked great. It only took a couple of days and my milk dried up. I know the pain you are in, and it is horrible. You might want to try cabbage leaves in your bra - changed out every 2 hours or so. Good luck.

My advise is to nurse a little from each side, without completly emptying your breasts. If baby is still thirsty, offer cows milk or another drink. Nurse when you feel pain. If baby empties the breast, you make more milk quickly. If baby doesn't empty the breast, you won't "refill" as quickly. This will slowing lower your milk supply. My kids still clawed at my chest for awhile, especially when they're sleepy. Nursing is comforting, so comfort in other ways like cuddling more.
Once I started to wean my kids, I was really surprised how quickly they were completly weaned! It was kind of sad actually.
Good luck, hope you feel better soon!

Hi D.! Keep at it! I went through the same thing a few months ago. This was my third time around, as I have three kids. I know how painful it is, but it will get better! I would put ice packs on for a few minutes several times a day, which seemed to help me. I also took a steady dose of ibuprofen and tylenol at the same time. I would take ibuprofen and then two hours later take Tylenol. The combination, which was recommended by my docotr, seemed to help. Although, I will say that I did not see a decrease in pain until about the 1 week mark. By two weeks I was feeling much better. If there is an end in sight I think it helps to get through it. Just keep thinking about what a great thing you did for your son! Good luck!

I exclusively breastfed all 3 of my girls for the first year. I can totally relate to your question...questions I had and couldn't seem to find answers to. Just start skipping a feeding every week until you dwindle down to nothing. If you try to quit cold trukey then it will be terrible. I always produced alot of milk which sounds like what you do too. This makes it great for the baby but hard for us when weaning. My mother in law told me a little trick and it may be an old wives tale but, it worked for me! I had been in pain for a week or more and she called and said that I should drink 100% grapefruit juice...as much as I could stand. I just started sipping on it all day and within 2 days...No more pain and I had started to really dry up. Thank God! It may not work for everyone but, this woman had 8 children so I trusted her advice and I would do it again. Also, it may sound silly but I would annoint your breasts with olive oil and ask the Lord to get you through this. God knows your heart and if you ask him in faith, he can help you and your little one get through this. After all, he made us from the dust of the earth, right? Also, from my experience, if I wear a tight fitting bra while nursing, I would get knots on my breasts and start to develop mastitis (breast chill) which is unbelievably painful! I would be careful with that advice. Just thought I'd share my personal experience. Good luck and God Bless u and your sweet family!

If you have a breast pump, pump enough to ease the pain. Your milk supply will eventually dimish. I tried letting mine dry up like you are doing and I couldn't stand the pain. I had to pump to stay sain. Just don't to it so often that your body thinks you still need to produce that much milk on a regular basis. It might take a little longer to dry up, but you will produce less until you eventually don't need to do it anymore. Good for you for lasting a year!

I can tell you what I did with both of my kids. I weaned them off of nursing but I pumped during the times that they normally would have eaten. I gradually pumped less and less each day at one pumping session until it was phased out. Then, I would start on the next one. I went ahead and gave the milk to my kids in a cup and gradually mixed it with whole milk until that is all they were drinking. It saved me a lot of pain and I was able to wean gradually off until I was only pumping a few ounces a couple of times a day. It made it a snap to stop in the end. we just got a breast milk bank here so if I have any more children I may donate the extra milk to that. Cabbage leaves on the engorgement can relieve some pain too. (Don't get purple cabbage it will stain your clothes)

I know you will think this is crazy, but go to the grocery store and buy cabbage leaves. Rinse and dry them off. Gently bend them to break the veins and stick them in your bra covering the entire breast. Change the leaves when they get wilty. I did this after nursing 2 children and it works. Good luck!! Just remember, it won't last forever...it will get better soon.

Weaning means just that. To take away one daily feeding at a time. Your body is making milk like it used to, such as a supply and demand thing.
If you want to quit cold turkey, you're going to HURT until it finally dries up on it's own. Tight shirts/bras, cabbage leaves, will help.
The clawing at your breasts thing is normal for a child being denied what he has always known.
Planning a time to wean only works if you have prepared yourself for it. There is no right or wrong time to wean. Is there something magic about his being one & you stopping?
I think you may need to feed him sometimes to slow down your supply. Not pumping, that will increase your supply.
Slow down on his feedings, cut some out, but don't try to do it all at once. Give your body some time to catch up & for your son to adjust to this great change.
Hope this helps. Good luck.

Try cabbage leaves. Place one over each breast. I know it sounds weird but it works. It helps soothe the engorgement. We were actually given a handout from the hospital on this. They warned not to leave them on too long so as not to risk drying up your milk.
Also, only drop one feeding at a time. It takes a while for your body to adjust. Pick one and only drop that one for a week or so (using the leaves to help with the engorgement). Then when you body adjusts, start dropping another feeding. Usually it's the night feeding we dropped first, then the early early morning one, then mid day so you are ending up with morning and evening. The evening is usually the last to go. This at least has been my experience.

I was told by an OB nurse to use the cabbage method mentioned by someone else here. I have to admit that I thought she was nuts when she told me about it, but, like you, I couldn't stand the pain. So, I did it and, believe it or not, it seemed to help the pain level. I wore a sports bra and stffed it with cabbage and then would put ice packs over top. Doing that and using mortrin made everyday chores much more tolerable. However, there is a strange smell once the leaves get hot and begin to wilt! Good luck.

hello i did not breast feed our children but there is a pill that will dry you up. needless to say my boobs have grown even tho i didn't breast feed. i did dry up rather quickly but also had pain along with it. good luck.
what kind of community are you talking about? to be a christian is believing in God ask Him to come into your life and to follow His teaching. That is my opinion anyway. K.

I just weaned my son & did it gradually instead of cold turkey and it was sooo much better than with my first two. I did not get engorged one bit this time. I have heard that the cabbage leaves really do work. I'm so glad you've made a decision to follow Jesus! It is the greatest thing you will ever do. He has done so many amazing things in bringing life to me. When you begin to struggle, run to Him. BELIEVE and pray for truth every day & you will be amazed at the changes in your life. There is so much to experience in Him... Every promise in the Bible is for us today! Don't stop with a little when there is so much that He offers! Be blessed as you seek Him with your whole heart...

I was home with my little one till he was about 7 months old. I breast feed him till he was almost 9-10 months old it was the longest breastfeeding time for me :) When I returned to work - I was in pain!!! I did have to pump while at work and slowly cut down on the amount of time I pumped. The first week I pumped at usual feedings untill I was dry, then I pumped just enough to make me feel better during 2 normal feedings and dry on one. About three weeks into working I reduced to two pumps a day, waited about 2 weeks and then cut it back to one pump a day, then about 2 weeks later i stopped pumping at work, but he did still get a feeding before work, after work and before bed. Slowly I cut out one feeding at home at a time after I was done cutting them out at work, but when I do cuddle with my little man when I give him a bottle. That way he still gets the feeling of love they get when nursed.

Sorry there isn't a magic way to stop the pain... I'm sure lot of us wish there was. This is a time of adjustment for you and your little one. The key is to wean your body and your little one, not just stop (it took me almost 3 month to wean my littles and my body). If you need to pump a little to releave the pressure and pain DO IT!!! Believe me you don't want to get a blocked duct... they hurt worse the engorged breast. And the only thing that help to heal a blocked duct is to nurse nurse nurse - which is the opposite of what you are trying to do.

Good luck with weaning!!! And congratz on nursing for the first year! You have given your baby a great start and you nursed longer then most moms dream of nursing. My hat goes off to you for a job well done!!!

Hi D.,

I just wanted to add my two cents. I had a very hard time breastfeeding after going back to work, and even encountered 2-3 horrible breast infections. When I finally decided to wean my biggest fear was that I was going to get engorged and get an infection. So I too asked my doctor for a "magic pill" but she said they don't do that anymore and I would just have to wean. As many people mentioned here already, I would eliminate one breast feeding seesion (still feeding my baby at the same time of course but not with breastmilk, and would do that for a couple days, then eliminate another feeding, etc, until eventually I wasn't pumping or feeding at all. I did get very full, but never engorged which I thought would definitely happen. After I stopped feeding completely it took another few months to completely dry up. Good luck!

My advice would be to, if you don't want to nurse anymore, pump a little bit from your breasts just to "take the edge off". The milk will diminish over time (it took almost 2 weeks for me). Your son, like my daughter, needs to get used to the idea and he will, just give him a little extra attention and try to distract him (maybe daddy can put him to bed for a while so he doesn't smell milk on you).

why ever would you put yourself through this on purpose? It is so hard onyour body and emotions and baby to wean suddenly--taper off gradually! First cut out the feeding the baby is least interested in and then another after a few weeks and so forth until you are down to nap and bedtime and then slowly cut those out--if you do this over a few months your breasts will dry up and your hormones will go back to pre-nursing gradually. Of course if you have a serious illness or are about to be sent overseas then the cabbage leaves and so forth are helpful--I do hope that is not the case

Hi D.! I can't help while you're weaning, but when he is done soak some nursing bra pads with rubbing alcohol. It will immediately take soreness away and help to dry up breasts. It didn't dry my skin either. This is an old time remedy, but alcohol could soak into breast milk, so you can't breast feed while doing this. Good Luck and God Bless! N. L.

I agree with pp about gradual weaning, taking away one feedng at a time, but I also know (from my own experience) that taking benadryl can dry up your milk. Unfortunately, it will also make you drowsy. Another suggestion would be to take a Tylenol PM at bedtime, the PM part is basically benadryl, plus you get some tylenol to help with the pain. Good luck to you!

Afer I had my son, my doctor gave me pills to dry up the milk. I'm sorry but I don't remember what they were called but if you ask I'm sure they could prescribe something. I hope you don't suffer too long. I think it took about 3-4 weeks for it all to end. Good luck.

I am just curious why you are so adamant about weaning your son just because he turned a year. There are many benefits to nursing past one year. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends nursing a MINIMUM of 2 years. The American Academy of Pediatrics could only get away with saying nurse for a minimum of a year, but they are behind in the research. Here is one article that may help you in this decision:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpweaning/0,,3x5j,00.html

If you really want to wean though, the swelling should go down after a few days. You can take Ibuprofen and ice your breasts as you mentioned. It is also fine to soak in a tub of warm water and let your breasts naturally leak. This will not cause any rebound engorgement as long as you do not squeeze more milk out.

Cold cabbage leaves!