Hi Moms! I'm having an issue with my dog. Let me just start by saying that I did not grow up with a dog or any pets because my parents wouldn't let us have them. Okay, so my issue now is that I believe she would be better off living with another family. I have no patience for her nor do I have the energy to spend with her, playing or anything. She is always whining, I'm not sure why, possibly because she is bored and wants to play. My husband and I both work full time so she is alone 8 to 9 hours a day. I used to have a dog walker come to my house to walk her, midday, but that just got to be too expensive, so we stopped. The dog appears to be fine with that because she never soils in the house or anything nor does she destroy anything by chewing. I've tried to give her to a friend who wanted her but then changed her mind because she also works full time and figured it would be the same at her house that it is at mine. I also tried to give her to another family but they then decided they shouldn't get another dog since they already had 3. I'm at witts end. I feel really bad about giving her to another family, but having her is just too much work for me. Another thing I should point out is that I have a 3 year old little girl and another baby on the way in 4 weeks. My friends have said I'm just hormonal due to the pregnancy but I don't think that is it because I have thought about giving her to another family for some time now, even before I was pregnant. Another point....the subject of the dog is a source of constant stress for myself. My mother in law is constantly nagging about something about the dog....it's not even her dog! My husband and I argue about the dog alot because I was the one who insisted we get a dog, he didn't want to do it because he grew up with a dog and knew exactly how much responsiblity came along with it. Of course, I'm so hard headed, I didn't listen and now I regret it.
Please help me to figure this out. Am I so horrible because I want to give the dog to a family that will spend more time with her? Has anyone ever gone through this?
Honey, there is nothing wrong with getting rid of the dog. Some family is probably aching for a pet. I am one who does not like pets in the house, so we do not have any except one cat who stays outside. Lots of people think I'm mean, but it's your preference. You have a lot on your plate with your own family...it's not worth it. If you can't find someone to take the dog, donate them to the pet shelter. Then, enjoy your stressfree life!!
HI, I don't really have advice, just some input. I also have a very active dog that is now 4. She doesn't chew anything, 'go' in the house or anything, but she drives me and my husband crazy a lot of the times. She is very hyper and we also have 2 cats that she chases even though she's been with them since coming home. Our dog is a Aussie Shepherd, Border Collie mix. That means she is very active, friendly, and herds everything. I'm also pregnant, due in 6 weeks and there are times she really makes me nuts. I am home all day since I work out of the home, so that's different. Our dog loves to play and my husband does 'wrestle' with her and she loves to fetch. I am a total animal lover and even though she drives me nuts, I could never give her away. Our dog knows when daddy is almost home and is great with our 2 kids and even the cats. Honestly, I think that just giving the dog away is an easy way out of responsibility, but that's just me. I know I'm definitley more snesitive to what the dog does cause I'm preg., but she is after all, our dog and always will be, she's part of our family.
Hi M.,
I have had a dog for 7 yrs. My husband is an animal person and I am not. I have delt with this furry animal in my home and suffered terrible allergies for 7 yrs.
Now, with 2 kids, I have begged him that we find her another home. Dogs have short term memory and would soon be happy in a better home and I wouldn't be fighting with my husband cos he forgot to walk her in the AM, cos he leaves her outside and when leaves her for me to bring in - thus CLEANIN and MOP after her, cos he works late and wants to relax before walking her so she's whining for his attention and so on on on. I really don't care to have this dog here, she sheds and my carpet is always covered in dog hair.
I know it must sound snooty but that's how I feel, I want her gone but my husband considers her part of the family and loves her dearly so I have to deal with it - I got her for him when we were dating.
Anyway, so I know how you feel and totally relate but in my case, it isn't up to me. I think my 16 month old would also go looking for her if she didn't see her.
All in all, this is my life so I am not going to be mean to the dog I just really feel she would be happier in a family where people were more animal people and she'd get far more attention.
Amy
This is a really tough situation. If you don't want the dog, it's better off going to another family. You wouldn't want to be living that dogs life. So many times we forget that our animals have feelings and thoughts too. When you give the dog attention, does it stop whining? It sounds to me like the poor pooch is lonely and a bit starved for affection. I'd hate for you to give the dog away, then find that you really miss her, but that doesn't really sound like the case. What kind of dog is it? Is it a large dog? Maybe you could put an ad in the paper or something. Good Luck.
I feel that is totally normal and I feel that way many times as well; with having two kids a dog is an overwhelming responsibility that is very difficult to manage. I think it shows that you care about the dog wanting to find her a good home who can take care of her at this time. I am sure if you continue to look for a good family you can find one and that is the best thing to do for her! Good luck
T.
You could be hormonal...that's real...but I understand that you're not a dog person and it's ok. I dont agree with the person who said "shame on you" all in caps--you're not putting the dog down, you just want to find a better home. You can only deal with so much and it's better to take on what you can and allow others to help you along the way. You're not a superwoman to do it all--and you shouldn't feel guilt for calling limitations. Really consider your options, find a good home, and enjoy your two children.
Wow, I find it really sad when someone comes to this site for advice & a little understanding & some think they can not only judge you but scold you! I have to ask if the person who said 'shame on you' has any children & if so had pets at the same time. I completely understand, we have 2 cats & a dog, & I also run an in-home daycare. I know how overwhelming it can be sometimes. I think I would wait until the hormone possibility is out of the picture & then go with your gut. You want what is best for the animals, & you should not be ashamed one bit to make that decision no matter what it might be. It's not good for them to be neglected, & let's face it--what real mother would take better care of animals than her own flesh & blood? Good luck, you'll make the right decision...
Hi M.,
I had similar feelings to yours shortly after having our 2nd child. Anyone that knows me well would be shocked I said this b/c he has always been a big part of our lives. That said, the feeling passed..even though he's much more needy when he's not getting the proper amount of attention and can bug the heck out of me, I've learned to deal with it. I run before my kids wake up so I take him with me and try to give him one on one time when I can. Even if it's only a few minutes - I feel he deserves that - he loves me/us unconditionally and I think it would be selfish to dump him b/c my feelings were jumbled. Your feelings are what they are, but don't act on them yet - see if you can find a way to work around this instead of giving up - good luck~
N.
Dear M.,
You are not horrible. You already have enough on your plate and you realize that you are not able to provide enough attention for the dog. So the best thing for both of you is to see that the dog has another home. Take the dog to the Humane Society and explain your dilemma. They will be able to help you.
I know what you mean.. if you could find another family to give it to, that would be great..that would answer your problem REALLY fast..
I mean,granted, I guess you made your decision on a whim or something ..you really shouldn't have bought it with your work schedule, ..I should have fenced my backyard in before I bought a big dog too.. that is the mistake that I MADE.. now I have to walk this critter all the time..
Listen, I have a yellow lab who is going to be 12 years old. You know its like having kids. If we REALLY knew what all we were going to get into, really.. I think many of us wouldn't do it at all.. ha..(I have three beautiful kids but let's face it, the responsibility at times IS overwhelming!! but we took on the responsibility of having them and we love them unconditionally.. the good and the bad. and we need to honor that..
. not to compare dogs with humans.. I know.. but you know, pets especially dogs are a REALLY big commitment. I swear there are days when I spend more time with the dog than my husband.. ha.. sad.. I know..
.. !! talking to him and brushing him and walking him and feeding him.. I know.. but really, that all doesn't really take THAT much time.. it just seems that way.
I never had a dog before either and begged my husband to get our dog. I even paid for the critter too! and WHOA was I surprised at how much work they are. I have had plenty of days where I was like.. WHAT in the heck was I thinking??
we ALL have days like that.. I'm sure some days you are going to think that about the new baby and it is perfectly NORMAL to have thoughts like that when you are overwhelmed with responsibility.. allow yourself to feel frustrated and then punch a pillow, call a good friend.. go to starbucks.. whatever.. ha.. and MOVE ON/...
but you know, I bet the dog is just lonely and really wanting someone to pay attention to it. if you were alone in the house for 9 hours and your husband came home, wouldn't you want him to talk to you even if just for a few minutes and receive a nice little pat on the head?? I know I'm being a little silly here.. just trying to lighten this up a bit..
I would just "fake it until you make it.." you don't have to LOVE throwing a ball to it or walking it at first.. but I bet it will grow on you and the better the dog behaves, the more you are going to like it. Its like anything else, you have to put time into the relationship for it to grow.
I have to say,
you are lucky your pet hasn't destroyed anything despite being neglected. Our dog chewed up pillows AND a chair and some of our woodwork when we were at HOME..
.. yes.. we had him crated when he was a puppy when we went to work, I had to put him in is crate.I would drive home EVERY DAY for lunch so I could let him out for a little bit.. talk about a pain in the BUTT!! but I thought it would be cruel to leave him that long in a crate..(maybe have the dog walkers just come once or twice a week.. better than nothing..!)
And when I got home from work, even when I was DEAD tired, I would throw my darn gym shoes on and take him for a walk around the block. I think you will find your pet more agreeable if you do spend more time with it. gosh.. not like hours at a time..but even 15 minutes a day..and the exercise would be good for all of you. I think if your husband sees you enjoying the dog more and complaining less.. you all will be more happy. When your mother n law naggs about it, just say.. gee.. I don't know.. I just LOVE my dog..
love me.. love my dog.. !!
hope that helps even just a little bit?
We went through the same thing with our cats after our 2nd was born. The male started peeing on everything of the baby's (high-chair, bed, etc.), and the female was just not a good pet for a family. The best thing we did was get them out of our house (to a no-kill shelter). They were a constant source of stress for us with 2 young kids in the house. I truly believe they were as unhappy with the situation as we were, and now they are with families that can give them the attention and care they deserve. We have one less stress in our lives to worry about and a cleaner house.
