A 3 1/2yo rock his head from side to side REAL hard...and I mean REAL hard when he gets sleepy. My great nephew has done this since he was real little....what ever it is...I thought he would outgrow it! The poor thing bites his nails constantly...and chews on toys until they are destroyed. If he is in a grocery cart and mom gets over a foot away he commences screaming and crying. I told her she better untie those apron strings or he will never get on a school bus in September and give her alittle break.
IT's not about apron strings. A 3.5 year old SHOULD be attached to his mother and not made to feel bad about it. What you are discribing is inapproriate acting-out which is either a discipline issue or a physiological/psychological issue. The head rocking by itself doens't sound so strange, but no 3 year old should be biting toys adn screaming Is he verbal?
First glance, sounds to me like there might be something behavioral going on. Do you know for sure that he doesn't have anything else going on (as in been tested)? Even if he doesn't, it sounds very judgmental on your part. Maybe you could offer to help rather than telling her she needs to "untie those apron strings." That's not helpful at all.
This isn't about "apron strings" and as someone else posted...that's not what she needs to hear. Please, talk to his mom about having him evaluated by a doctor as soon as possible (his doctor may need to refer him to a specialist for an evaluation). It sounds like he may have sensory issues if he is constantly chewing things (not to mention there is a serious choking hazard to him if he's chewing toys until they fall apart). And really violent head-shaking can be a sign of several different things, from a sensory issue to a muscular issue to a developmental issue. Only a doctor can tell. The fact he's done it since he was very small and he's now approaching four -- yes, he needs to be professionally evalutated, if only to rule out whether he might have developmental or emotional issues that cause him to need these actions (head-shaking, chewing). These may be comfort actions for him if he's stressed but they are in themselves potentially harmful comfort actions if not redirected. Please ask her to do this BEFORE he begins preschool!
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My son did this and was diagnosed with Tourettes syndrome. But I found that food allergies caused this so when I cut out the offending food, he was fine.
What exactly are you asking? Do you want advice or just to vent?
This mom is already having a hard time. She knows the behavior is not normal. It has nothing to do with him being a brat or her not cutting the strings. It has to do with a poor little boy who seems anxious, scared, unhappy, worried. That is not how a little boy should be acting, or feeling. He deserves, and needs help & support, from ALL of his family, including you.
My 45 year old brother has always rocked, not just his head, but his entire upper body sometimes, when he is tired. Still does it. My mom asked the Dr. about it when he was a toddler.. just something he does. No worries.
That said, what you describe is not a single behavior, but a host of behaviors that sound like the child needs an evaluation by a professional. Not unhelpful "cutting the apron strings" comments to the mom.
I have seen rocking like you describe. The child was later diagnosed with 3 diffferent developmental disorders in combo. I suggest they take him to the nearest public school and get him assessed for anything. That will get him into the developmentally delayed preschool ASAP and they will have the resources to help him.
