S.B.
Hi A..
Our son is 18 months and we just started dc this past week. I started the search back in January and was able to find a wonderful in-home dc. From May until the week before he started, we did 1-2x/month play visits. I truly believe this helped my son and I transition. The dc, caregivers, and other children were not unfamilar when the start day finally came. I wasn't just dropping him off at a strangers home with people he didn't know. I recognize our children our different in ages, yet exposure before a start date is indeed a positive thing if one is able to do so.
I also started with 1/2 days for the first 2 days, then transitioned to full days the rest of his first week. We are going into week two this upcoming week. Our son has done fantastic! He is enjoying his new friends and caregivers. They run their dc like a preschool so not only do the children play, but have structered learning and creativity time. They indeed have a daily routine which is critical in my opinion.
I cried the first day as I left and our son did not : ) I do believe oftentimes this experience is much more difficult on the parent than child. I also believe in quick drop-offs and be sure to kiss your child and say goodbye...once they are preoccupied with play, then leave. You want your child to know that you will return. Our providers are very good at this. They ensure our children are at play when parents leave. The one thing we don't want to do is sneak out. My son has yet to cry upon my departure and well, has not cried once in my absence. He may wimper here and there with new routines, but the reports have overall been great regarding play, diaper changes, meal time, etc. This has made the transition so much easier. Granted, he may have some bad days along the way, but this is to be expected. Just like home.
I suggest start looking now, do careful interviews, use the dc checklist, call the social department, etc. You want to ensure a good fit for everyone. I have been lucky to have stayed home this long with our son. We are a military family and will be moving again next year so believe me, I know the angst you are feeling for I will have to go thru this again every time we move once I start work again, but you will get thru this. Just be smart about your choice and remain involved with your child's care. I typed up an information page about my son, from communication to diet to hygiene, etc. I wanted the providers to learn about my son and well, work with me in taking good care of our son.
So far so good with our choice. I am teaching, so I will have flexibility in the hours in picking up our son. You all will do fine, just know this is a difficult time with lots of different emotions running, but with the right dc and your child's happiness, you will be A-OK : ) Good luck!