Have Any of You Heard of a "Yes" Day?

I want a yes day.
Every time I ask my child to do something they say "yes mama" and do it. Without me having to ask again.
That would be a miracle.
No way would I give my kid a yes day. That's just setting me up for some very unpleasant "no" days to follow.

I would do it with some boundaries and maybe not an entire day. Although once a month or so we do a family day and the kids pick what we do. We do visits to a toy store or bookstore where I will let them get anything they want (appropriate to age) that costs no more than $10 or whatever the set amount is. We let them choose where to eat, but they have to choose a meal appropriate to the time of day. No ice cream for lunch but donuts for breakfast would be ok. And dessert after lunch and dinner is ok or ice cream in the afternoon. They can pick what we do for fun, but it has to be within a certain distance from home or from a preselected "menu" of choices. It's fun, but they don't get a yes for everything they ask for.

I tend not to give much creedence to a preschooler telling me they feel sad that they don't get to do whatever they want.

I do think kids need whimsy and silly things. Heck, so do adults. I'm a fan of having days FULL of silly things. Games, eating ice cream for dinner, midnight sledding (or slip and slide), Nerf wars, games of tag where mom and dad are "it." We installed a zip line and built a tree house. We love to be silly. But I'm not a fan of "Yes Day."

Why? Because it's not grounded in reality and will not help kids to understand healthy boundaries. There is no "Yes Day" ever. Not truly. For some reason, I think kids become a little obsessed with the idea of "doing whatever I want," but do we ever, really, as adults? We can be silly, but we have rules and boundaries and sometimes "No" to keep us safe and to help us be successful.

So, instead of "Yes Day," I'd give an okay to "Silly Day," where we do silly things and backward things, but we (and they) can still say "No" when we need to.

ETA: From the article posted above: "5. Saying "yes" can demonstrate an understanding of personal worth." I couldn't disagree more. This statement makes me twitchy. Lord, we already live in a world where so many kids think that their mother's and father's entire WORLD revolves around them. Kids already have an overinflated sense of self worth. "Yes Day" isn't helping teach any lessons about personal worth. The contrary, actually.

No freaking way. We have kind of yes days on vacation where the stress of normal life is relieved from all of us, but no way does anyone ever get what they want all day every day.

My 8 year old recently told me he didn't want to help dad grill because he doesn't get to do anything. When I asked him what he got to do when he helped grill he said "All daddy lets me do is put the chicken on the grill, turn it over, and take it off. He doesn't let me do anything." So in his mind, he wasn't doing anything, but he was doing exactly what he asked to do.

We tend to try to make childhood happy for our kids with extra trips to the pool, lots of quality family time, surprise ice cream treats sometimes, etc...basically just fun things. But never would there be a day of 100% whatever they want. That's not reality for anyone.

We just had a "yes" day, but it was the opposite of your "yes" day. Our "yes" day is when our daughter has to do what we ask her to do without fighting or arguing with us. We had to constantly remind her that it was a "yes" day, but when we reminded her, she was like, "oh, okay" and did what we asked her to do. My husband just made it up one day.

They have one Mothers Day per year and one Fathers Day per year.
Every so often you'll hear a kid ask why there's no official Kids Day and the answer is because kids get the other 363 days of the year.
We don't say 'No' to our son every day and he sure gets plenty of 'Yes s' - and he KNOWS it.

Never heard of such a thing. There are some things for which the answer is just "No," regardless of the circumstances.
No one gets to do whatever s/he wants all day.
I don't recall having any "yes" days in my life recently either. Hell, I had to work all day at my second job on my birthday!

I have not heard of this. Not sure about a whole day but can't wait to hear you tell us about it next Monday!!!

We also have a "Yes" day on a Saturday in August each year--this year ours falls on this coming Saturday the 15th as well. The tradition started for us after we read the book "Yes Day" by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

For us it is a fun summer thing with lots of games and silliness and plenty of extra desserts. I say give it a try and see how it goes :)

My kid would like some sort of 'Do everything I want' day every day. Not gonna happen. Instead, we give him age-appropriate choices as opportunities come up. I am not sure young children understand that a Yes Day does not invite carte blanche 'do what I want', which is why we provide structure. Like Christy suggested, some Silly is fine, but all day, no holds barred isn't necessarily whimsy, it's more like giving the inmates the keys to the asylum.

I'm not sure why we feel that saying "no" is anti-fun. I am in the "gift of no" camp, where a judicious "no" means "I love you".... and where we don't pick ridiculous hills to die on with our kids. A judicious "no", given with thoughtful contemplation, doesn't squash whimsy or fun, it guides and directs so kids have room to have more fun. I'm starting to think a lot of parents take this obligation to give their kids a 'perfect' childhood more seriously than they should. Get out to nature and just be-- that is where children create their own magic with very little 'no' from us. This can be done every day-- it's just down time.

I've never heard of a Yes Day before but Google tossed up this book for the K-2 ages: http://www.amazon.com/Yes-Day-Amy-Krouse-Rosenthal/dp/006...

Never heard of it.
The closest we've ever come to something like that is birthdays. Birthday kid gets to decide meals (within reason) and the guest list for events (again, within reason) and activities, etc.
OR, sick/injured/recovery days. Having 4 teeth pulled at once, you let your kid eat what they want (can) for a day or two or three, and let them veg on the sofa with whatever movie/TV programs/video games they want to keep themselves occupied with. You bring them popsicles if they want them. You snuggle if they like it. You leave them alone and to their own devices if they want that.

But just to pick a day and let them make all the decisions and cater to them? Um.. no. That's crazy. They're kids. We're adults. There's a reason we are in charge and have veto powers.

I think yes day would be fun but I'd tell him that he can only ask for something once. He can ask for a treat and then decide on what treat to have so you won't have to get him ice cream, cookies, and candy all day long.

I saw this on the Disney Channel. A family and their kids were talking about it. Their yes day included allowing the kids to jump on the bed, not asking the kids to clean their room, having dessert before dinner, going somewhere fun. Its all within reason though.

Ha ha, oh boy, I hope my son doesn't hear this.
Kids are so cute. I haven't heard of this.

I don't know that I would do this as I'd be afraid it could get out of control
and I make his birthday a spoiled day "do almost anything you want day".

Maybe tell him ahead of time you may veto things that are requesting too
much. Good luck and let us know how it went. ;)

What a sweet idea. The article Elena B posted was a good read. I am now considering the idea for my 9 year old.

no, i can't say i have. and i'm not sure i'd be on board with one of my kids saying he was 'sad' because he didn't get to what he wants all day.
that being said, we DID have what the hell days when we cut out all 'shoulds' and 'ought to's and just had adventures. yeah, they involved ice cream, and climbing trees, and going to the batting cages, and watching movies, and pizza, and making forts, and having treasure hunts.
but i always retained veto power. used it lightly.
khairete
S.

I've never heard of actually doing it, but the book is adorable and my son loves it. Don't know who put it out but it's call (duh), "Yes Day!" IMO, it's all in good fun and not based on reality.

Now I see the link to what is probably that very book, below. Go fig ;)

As far as whether I'd oblige- that'd be no. Although we do try not to say no for birthdays. I generally let them plan the day and usually whatever they want to do/eat/drink, within reason.