Has Anyone Had to Give up the Family Dog?

Hi
I've been a strong advocate for dogs and responsible ownership for as long as I can remember - dogs have been my companions - I show them, train them, belong to dog clubs,etc. Right now we have an 8 year old German Shepherd, and a 3 year old PBGV. I'm also a Mom of a very active 2 year old.
I have to honestly say that I DO understand what you are saying.
My dogs don't get near the attention they used to, but we're all still adjusting. An Aus Shepherd is an EXTREMELY active and smart breed of dog, and when they don't get the attention and training they need, in my opinion, their energies can be overwhelming to say the least. Kind of a situation where even negative attention is attention for them, as their behavior deteriorates. If you're adding in epilepsy, that's even harder. I don't know a lot about epilepsy in dogs, but I do know people that have had dogs with this problem and the dogs were usually put down at a fairly young age.
Also, the taking of food from your kids is the tip of the iceberg - the dog is challenging them for pack position - and if getting away with it, will continue to get worse with growling and snapping.

Have you contacted the dog's breeder about bringing the dog back? I know that most good breeders will take back dogs of their breeding as they want them to have the best situation they can. Sometimes they even have people looking for dogs that are a bit older (not puppies). You may not get your money back as they'll have to put out expenses until a new home is found.

If you really feel the situation isn't going to get better and if your dog's breeder is unresponsive to your situation, try contacting a local Aussie Shep rescue. Sometimes you will hear some really harsh comments, but you don't want you or your kids to be hurt.
When the time is right, and you aren't so busy, adding a dog to your family can be a great addition. Check with some local dog clubs about the breed of dog that would be best for your family - even if you adopt a mixed breed from a pound, the breeds it's mixed from have particular traits that may not be suitable for your particular situation.

Of course this is all just my opinion.....
Hope this helps - good luck
J.

I know what you are going through. I was in your shoes not too long ago. We had 3 min pins before we had kids. They were our babies- we treated them like humans. We had them since they were puppies 7 years ago. But, after our 3rd child was born last year, the two male dogs started "marking" and peeing on anything and everything. It was horrible and disgusting, and they would do it on the baby's things, too. We had no choice but to get rid of them (we even tried doggy diapers and it didn't work.)

I called the min pin rescue- looked in up online- (maybe you could try the rescue for your dog's breed) and they had a long waiting list. So I just called the local animal shelter and explained our situation. They were very understanding, surprisingly. I had to take the dogs in myself (too hard for my husband...) and although it was very hard to do, it was for the best and I felt such a good relief and could sense the peace restored in our home immediately. The shelter called me the next day to tell me that they had called the min pin rescue and the dogs had been sent on there after all. I guess the shelter has more "pull" getting them in there than just a regular family.

The dogs were becoming a major strain on our family, stress in the house, and were ruining our things. I couldn't keep up with it all, plus 3 kids. It was the best decision. As much as we loved the dogs (and I am serious- we truly loved those dogs), our family was worth more.

It isn't easy and I wish you the best!

I had to put my beloved dog down in March, it ws teh hardest thing to do she was my family for 11 years and with this new family (Hubby and kids for 5! Its a tough decision but you need your own sanity. My dog was great however she had some crazy issues and unfortunately you cna't trust an animal 100% with small children which means if you cannot be there all the time watching (and who can?!) then search out I hope you can find a home.. I tried and had no success so be happy if you can find your dog a home and if not well then do what you must. i will say now that it has been a while I woudl like another dog however I am so happy to have less responsibility and I am able to do so much more for me!!! Good luck!

I own a dog services company in the area (All For Dogs, inc. www.allfordogs.org) and have made a few dog posts on these boards before.

No need to apologize with the lengthy post. I can tell you're really grappling with the idea and neither you, nor your family want to get rid of the pup.

However, you have gotten to the point where your children have a higher place than the dog in the family chain and the dog is being neglected. Just from what you said (and it might not be completely accurate since I haven't met your pup and seen your interractions with him), your pup doesn't hold the same place as he used to in your home. It seems that if he's taking food out of your hands and has 'issues' about food, he needs to have his 'place' in your home. He's trying to establish that and be an alpha over your children.

In the wild, the alpha dog can walk up to another dog and take the food. The Alpha eats first and then the other dogs eat what's left. It seems he is hunger driven, but even more so trying to establish his place in your home.

He needs more exercise (walks), try to run him on a treadmill if you have one, he seems like he needs to socialize as well. Is he good with other dogs? (territorial towards some dogs, but friendly towards others, I assume?)

(If your mind is already made up about getting rid of him, and if you're trying to justify to your family you should no longer have him, explain to them that you have done all you can for him and he has to go get better somewhere else... someone who can give him 100% of their attention and that would be better for him.)

A Caring Place Humane Society is a society we work with closely and they find excellent homes for pups. Initially, all dogs go into their step 1 foster homes and are 'retrained' to go into otherhomes... and then they are fostered out to homes of dog lovers who can train them and give them the right excercise, attention, etc. they need. The focus of the people's lives are to take the best possible care of pets and make sure they go into equally loving and responsible homes. I think they're your solution.

This is my suggestion:

It seems like he's a handful... Perhaps you could try giving him walks with all your kids during the day. Perhaps enroll him in a doggie daycare (we're opening one up soon)... or walks. SOMETHING to get that inital burst of energy out of his system and to give him the exercise he needs. Dogs are natual travelers... It's worse than you not leaving your home for a few days when you really want to go out. Dogs need to roam and sniff... if they don't, they start having issues.

<b>I'll even give you a free consultation.</b> ###-###-####) and give you my honest opinion on what the best situation would be for him. (just as long as I don't have to call the family meeting to say 'he's not right for your home...)

Not to keep blabbling, but perhaps if DO you want a family dog... go to the pound and pick out one who is calm and submissive. One who is older and lazy. It seems that would be the best bet for your family, not such a high energy pup. There are plenty of good homes he can go into with all of his energy that'll properly release it.

Good luck and I hope to hear from you soon.

We gave away our dog 2 weeks ago. I completely understand this situation! My husband and I have been fighting for 2 years over the dog! She was a 4 year old boxer that we bought together as a pup right before our wedding. She is a wonderful, loving dog. We picked the puppy with the most personality, which turned out to be the one with the hyper-disorder. She was the perfect dog when she got all the attention she needed, exercise and trips to the bark park. Now that we have 2 new babies, she is last on the priority list. Without here excercise she seeked out too much attention and was too excited any time there was any activity going on at home. She was very good with the kids as long as she wasn't too distracted. She knocked over my 16 month old several times causing little bumps and some tears, but when she scratched his face she left the very next day. I had painters at my house who were admiring the dog and sent them home with her. They had a yard for hre to run and older kids to play. My husband felt good with knowing she would get the attention she needed. It was a heart breaking decision, I truely miss her. Remember your kids come first, you will still have your hands full once the dog is gone, but it will lighten the load. The most important thing is to find a suitable home so that you both feel comfortable with the decision and wont worry about where the dog ends up. You can even place an ad in the NW Herald for free if you are planning on giving her away. We also placed a flyer at the bark park.

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to learn of the problems you are having with your dog. It sounds very frustrating. I thought I'd write b/c I too own an Australian Shepherd - a girl that's 5 years old. We have had nothing but a wonderful experience with our dog. She's very eager to please, easily trainable and is great with my two boys, 2-1/2 and 1. My boys just love her.

The only problem we have with our dog is that she is so eager to meet people that she too will get excited and will try to jump on people. I always have her on a leash when around others and give other people warnings or just have her sit when around other young kids.

I have heard that some male Australians, specifically the merles, can be more aggressive. I'm not sure if this is the case with you. He may just have a lot of "puppy" in him. Our dog starting losing that "puppy" stage of her around 3-1/2.

I know you have a household to run and it's difficult managing a house, 3 kids and a dog. I suggest that you and your husband decide on a timeframe to focus on training your dog - say agree to 6-months or so and then re-evaluate. I bet with some focused training, putting him in the kennel when he misbehaves, leash training, etc. that you can make some great progress. Getting him to sit on command so that he doesn't knock over others, may work faster than you think. The key, as I'm sure you know with kids, is consistency. You could also make sure that he's in the crate whenever food is around. This may break him of the habit of stealing food.

The kennel training worked excellent with our dog. It got to the point where we would tell her to go to her kennel and she would. We didn't even have to lock the door, just close it a bit and she stayed. Now we have the kennel broken down and we don't use it anymore. But I can mention the word kennel if she's misbehaving, and she immediately corrects the behavior.

Another thing we've done which has worked well, is that we have our boys try to throw the ball for her. She loves tennis balls and when we take her to a field for a good run, I "help" them throw the ball using one of those Chuck Its. It's a great way for us to burn off her energy. The boys get so excited seeing how fast she runs and how she jumps up to get the ball.

I also have my 2 year old give her the treats. I've been doing this since he was way little. This helped them bond. Now he knows how to tell her to sit, give 5, rollover, etc. Once my younger one quits putting things in his mouth, I'll have him do the same:) They also help/watch when she gets a bath. They really love her.

Australian Shepherds are to be great with kids and a great family dog. It just breaks my heart to hear of someone having problems with their Australian. Just remember that whatever you decide to do, one way or the other, you will be teaching your kids a lesson. Lastly, if you decide to get rid of the dog, please contact the local Australian Shepherd Rescue/Placement at 877.277.4779 www.aussierescue.org. They will make sure the dog isn't put down and will hopefully find a suitable home.

Good luck, I know you'll make it through this.

While we've considered giving up our cats since having our children, it's not quite the same situation, so I don't really have much advice to offer on that end of things. My cats have ended up shut off in only the lower level of the house now, however, and I'm concerned that they just don't have enough room to roam and play, much less attention. The only saving grace is that my son loves them and plays with them, so I haven't been able to part with them yet.

However, another option if you do decide not to keep the dog, is that I've seen a lot of people offer their pets on their local Freecycle.org group as a way to find new owners. I just thought I'd offer it as another choice to the sheleters, an ad etc. There might also be an area on Craigslist.com for this as well, although I've not checked. There may be someone local who would be interested in taking it in.

S.,
I only read Carrie's response, but DITTO!
This is an aggressive dog who is not good with young children.
At the very least, your husband needs to help A LOT. Also, what message are you sending to your son, when you keep a dog that has hurt him? I'm sure your other kids are afraid of it, too. You are the boss at home. Three kids are quite a lot of work already. This dog needs to live somewhere else, even if your husband decides to help you. Also, you eventually will need to address the way your husband is manipulating you. He probably does this about more things than the dog. Sorry to say it, but the last things you need are more work and a guilt trip. Get rid of the dog.
Amy
PS Yes, we had to give up our animals--some because of our allergies, but one because it was so aggressive. It did not make me sad to give up the aggressive animal, which had hurt my brother.

It is understandable that you feel like you do, it must be overwhelming taking care of your children and dealing with a hyper dog. The real problem is that you see this dog as a liability and your husband and children see him as part of the family. A dog of that breed is super smart and needs a job, a function, and is very active. Your husband should have looked into finding a dog to better match your family's lifestyle and chose one that is more mellow and not so high maintenance. All that aside, the dog is here, your children love him and you resent him, so now you are in the middle of it. What is a mother to do? I would start by first having a true heart to heart with your husband. There is more at stake than you just traumatizing the family by getting rid of the dog, you would be showing your children that the once loved pet is now a nuisance and when times get tough, you throw the dog out and that is how you resolve problems when they become burdensome. There may be a better way to deal with the problem than getting rid of the dog, perhaps you could sit down with your husband and come up with a managable plan to keep the dog more engaged, have your husband take him for a long walk in the morning before work, pay a neighbor kid a few bucks a week to take him for a walk in the afternoon after school, sign the dog up for an agility class and have your husband commit to taking him. Try not to be so hard on the dog, it is not his fault, he is bored and needs some outlet for all of his energy. Your children love him and when your four year old gets a little older, he can take the dog for a walk and play with him without being harmed. This dog is in your life for a reason, and sometimes the solution that seems the easiest is not always the best or the right one. If you decide that the best decision is to get rid of him, there are rescue organizations on the internet for almost all breeds of dogs. Perhaps you can talk to someone at the rescue center for your dog and maybe they have some suggestions to help you get through this.

Tell your husband that if he wants to keep the dog so bad, he needs to pitch in and help out, or you will be getting rid of her.

Hi S.,
I am in a similar situation. I have newborn twins & my dog is very "food aggressive" and territorial. I will be giving her up (to my sister out of state) in 3 weeks. I feel guilty, but it is nothing compared to the guilt I would feel if she harmed one of my precious babies. As a mother it is my duty to protect my children. They cannot protect themselves. Also, my dog has been neglected since the babies arrived, and I feel so guilty about that. I know she will get the love and attention she needs with my sister & her family.
You are not a bad person for giving the dog up, don't let anyone make you feel that way! You can't wait for a tragedy to happen. Giving a pet to a better home is one of the most selfless things you can do.
You might want to check out www.aussierescue.org to find a good home for your dog.
I wish you the best of luck. I know first hand it's a tough decision to make, but you are doing whats best for your kids and your beloved dog.
C.

Hi S.,
You have gotten a lot of feedback on this question. When I read your posting I couldn't believe how similar our dogs are. My dog is 4, I am 36+ weeks pregnant with twins, and he is now on medication for seizures. I see many of the behaviors you describe in my dog, and it is all related to the medication. We are now trying to find the right dose with the vet's advice so we can have our dog back! He is so hungry and thirsty that he whines all the time. He doesn't have control of his bladder, he is clumsy, and he isn't as responsive to commands as he used to be. He doesn't remember many things that he used to, like the names of toys or people. You may be well beyond trying to work with a vet and adjust medication, but I wanted to let you know that you might be able to get your dog back--we hope to (and hopefully before the babies come!).
M.

Although I have not been through this situation, it seems clear to me that your children have to come first ahead of the dog. Your motherly instinct needs to be listened to before anything more dangerous happens. You have 3 children to take care of and all the time and energy that gets put into the dog is taken from them. Stay strong and have a serious sit down talk with your husband.

Don't let your husband lay this guilt trip on you. Everyone who responded is in your corner. Your husband needs to step up to the plate. This is coming from a single mom with four cats. There were times when I wish I had listened to everyone and got rid of them while I was pregnant. I just don't have the time for them, but my 2yr old daughter plays with them, and they tolerate her well. We don't have the competing for food isssues that you do, however. Enough about me. You have enough on your plate with three children, you don't need that menacing dog in the mix. Be strong, and do what's right for you and your children.

I really sympathize with you. What a difficult situation, and I'm sure heartbreaking for everyone, especially the kids, to think about losing their dog. A friend of mine recently had to put her Australian Shepherd to sleep. The dog wasn't adoptable - too many health issues and she couldn't tolerate being caged. She had become bad-tempered, began to be aggressive to other little kids, and finally tried to bite my friend's toddler when he walked by her food dish. It broke their hearts, but they couldn't just wait for something awful to happen.

It sounds like you have so much on your plate, but I think you should ask your husband to contact someone who works with dogs and ask them to look at the dog and advise a course of action. That way, you aren't the bad guy and you have a truly objective opinion about whether the dog really is aggressive. I do believe your husband is right that responsible dog owners have to make sure their dogs are taken care of, but I don't think that means you can't find another solution, like finding the dog a new home or (if money allows and if the dog trainer thinks it would solve the problems) a daily dog-walker.

Do you know what is causing the episodes we went through a similar thing last Jan. Our black lab of 8 years got what they call insulinoma it was odd too because the dog had grown into a great dog and then the last year it was hell. He would also steal food which was not him heck I could have parties and he would be right in front of a plate and not even look at it but here he is sneaking into my garbage getting on my dinning room table anything to get food. It It was something about blood sugar and well basically if he was not eating every second of the day he was starving so you really couldn't blame him for the sneaking and stealing. Once we treated it the food stealing stoped. In the end it's likely they will not make it anyways we got to stretch coal out an additional 6 months until it was time to say good-bye. Right after we found out we had surgery on our dog to remove the tumor in his pancrease he got another 3 months after that and then we knew it was time. The night before we put him down we told our 6 year old it was very hard for him to understand. I even told him that one day maybe we would get another dog and he could pick one out just like Coal even showed him pics on the internet of how many black labs there are he was a little better then. To be honest with you all along with shoving pills down the dogs throat and taking care of him after the surgery I almost wished he would have just kicked the bucket. It was so hard on me....2 kids, sick dog, working full time.....yup another one just me doing it hubby was in denial land or something. When it came time it was actually me who almost stopped it but I knew it was best....the sucky thing was that I just wished I found him instead of had to sit there and watch him go........Totally hard and well if you can get your hubby to do 1 thing for you make him do that.....

After we put Coal down I took the kids to the pet store I let them play in the pen with a lab puppy...both of them told me they didn't want a puppy...they bite and scratch to much...lol So to make up for not having a dog we head out to the pet store here and there and let them play with the puppies there.

Good luck.

We gave away our dog a few months ago and I had her for five years, very hard thing to do but I couldn't do it anymore. She peed everywhere and with four kids I don't need anymore messes. I really cried when I did it and I told the kids and everyone else she died. I didn't want to send the kids the message it is ok to just give up on something. Are the meds she is on changing her habits? Our one dog was on steroids for awhile and it was always hungry and thirsty. I'm still sad I gave her up but I know it was for the best.

S.~ I'm not sure what advise I can offer, but my parents also have an Australian Cattle Dog who has frequent seizures. Perhaps you can talk with your husband about the time and effort required to take care of a dog with such medical problems. I also read that you have a 7 y.o. son with Down syndrome, which is time consuming enough. I understand your guilt about wanting to give up the family pet, but sometimes people have to take into consideration the impact such a pet is having on the entire family. Maybe if your hubby can agree to take on more responsibility with the dog then you will feel differently, but since you are the one who has to care for it, I believe that you should be able to make the decision that an animal that requires this much attention and excersize is not the pet for you. Good luck!
R.

We eventually gave up both of our dogs. Both were in our home before our daughter and may be part of the problem. The first was our baby before we had a baby. Years before. She started growling at our daughter when she was clumsily beginning to stand and walk. Our daughter is now almost four. Our other dog was like a surrogate as we had problems having a child. He nipped her on the nose, she cried. It did not break the skin but as he was a small dog, able to get away from her, hide under the bed, we got rid of him too. Both dogs were purbred, I will rescue a dog when the time comes for another one. But it was good because both dogs went to their respective breeds, rescue, Keeshond rescue and Shitzu rescue. I made it very plainly well known what was happening or had happened. Some make you feel worse than you already do but I know they went to good places. It may be difficult but you know your kids come first. Best of luck!

S.,

I have been in the same boat as you. My husband and I had 2 dogs when we got married, one a husky and one a husky mix. The purebread was a male (I think males are harder) and when my oldest was born he became very resentfull to her. We kept him for about another 2 years and decided he needed to go. We were fortunite enough to have friend who did not have children at the time that took him in. Without the children around he became a totaly different dog, but again when she became pregnate the same happened. They were able to give him to friends of there's.

I suggest APOPT. you will have to put some effort into showing him with the company like at the showings at Petsmart and such. They are a good orginization. Or you can place an ad in the paper, but I agree the dog needs a better home for him. Not that you aren't doing the best you can, but he needs lots more attention, that you can't give him (again I have been there...maybe I'm there again with our new dog sad to say).

Your dog needs a home where he can run and have a "job". Like the lady said earlier, your dog is trying to show he is the leader of the pack with the food issue.

Another thing you may want to try if you aren't ready to give him up is to try and give the dog a "job". I saw this on the dog wisperer. You can get a doggie backpack at your local pet store this will strap around the dog's back. fill it with water bottles for weight. strap it to the dog. It now becomes the dog's job to carry the water. The show said they can only concentrate on one job at a time and this will one slow him down and 2 make him concentrate on something.

I know it sounds funny and you may be behond wanting to try anything but those are my suggestions to you. Good luck!