We just finished building, and watched BIL finish building his home about a year ago, and FIL is currently building.
Here's what we learned:
From the In Laws:
hiring the cheapest General Contractor leads to cheap materials and mistakes in installation. They hired the cheapest b/c he would discount their bill by the number of hours BIL and FIL spent "helping".
BIL and FIL (with no training) - did all the plumbing (already had a toilet backed up due to insufficient slope in the drain line). They had licensed electrician friends do the electric.
Builder mistakes - only a 7 foot ceiling in basement b/c he misunderstood how far below grade to dig. Had to repaint front door b/c he ordered the unfinished one (just short of a grand), and "painted" it w/ auto paint, which peeled. Brick work had to be redone. Lots of other little things....
FIL and BIL worked until midnight most nights after their FT jobs, plus every weekend - with BIL complaining loudly that he never got to see his two daughters (3 and 1).
They saved maybe $10 to $20k.
We went with the best contractor in the area. Every bank dropped his name when we asked for recommendations and it was always "He's the best, but if you want something also well built but a little less expensive, then try...."
The realtors knew his name and all said the same thing (I owned one of his houses prior) - "oh, it's X builder? Then it's quality. It'll sell quick and easy"
On our end, it was a breeze. We had a guaranteed contract, and given allowances. For example, our contract price included say $4,000 for window coverings. We go to the suggested window covering stores (recommended for quality, but we could go to Lowes too). We pick out blinds. If more than $4k, we owe the difference. If less, they subtract the savings from the contract price.
We went over the total contract price by $4-5k.
Mrs. shopped and picked out the plumbing fixtures, blinds, lights, garage doors, cabinets, countertops, carpets and flooring. I'm sure there were others, but that's what i can remember right now.
We came by to look at the construction about once per week, and it was ALWAYS moving forward. Our friends and family who built on the cheap all ran into "well the framings up, and now everyone disappeared for a month".
Ours was finished on time, we were given a year warranty by the builder and a ten year warranty the builder purchased for us. The builder has already sent his right hand man out several times for touch ups, the plumber came the same day we called about a tub issue, and the electrician has even come over to finish some wiring.
We had ZERO worries, and that peace of mind was totally worth it. We got way more than we paid for, and everything was done by licensed and bonded workers who have been building houses for decades (company is family owned which grandfather started).
We also could change the blueprints w/o charge b/c the architect was the son's wife. We got design help from grandson's wife at no charge. And the grandson, our site supervisor was available by email/text/phone and always returned calls promptly.
There's something to be said for name brand - and that comes from someone who pinches every penny.
But I don't know your husbands handyman level - mine was nil. FIL and BIL are both handy, but I prefer the security of KNOWING it was done right the first time. Feel free to PM me for more detail (which I wouldn't want to put out on a public board). :)
__________________________
just read the other responses. Ours was done in 6 months, all building permits were taken care of, and all lien work was done by builder (turning in paid forms for the subs to the bank). It was totally turn key on our part. But listen to Jo on the code, architect and attorney if you do it on your own.