Has Anyone Consulted with Vivian Sonnenberg? What Was Your Experience?

Hi Paola,

I consulted with Vivian when my son was 11 mos and stopped napping. When I called to set up an appointment and told her what was happening, she could tell right away what we were doing wrong. She told me what to do and refused to charge me because it was such an easy problem for her to address. The first time we followed her advice it worked like a charm. And, to address a previous poster's comments, there was no crying, so I'm assuming her methods didn't cause any "brain damage." Man. How many ways can we find to make mothers feel guilty? Here is a link to a Google thread that cites and summarizes much of the scientific literature on CIO, both positive and negative:

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=774928

This discussion should give you a sense of how studies can be and have been distorted to support certain views (on both sides) and how many poorly constructed studies are cited as proof, again, I'm sure, on both sides of the argument. Anyway, the friend who recommended Vivian to us had worked with her to transition her daughter from co-sleeping to a crib. Our pediatrician's office also recommended Vivian. Anyway, I don't see how it can hurt to give her a call. I hope your son sleeps through the night soon so that you can get some rest!

It sounds like you are a bit concerned with this "sleep trainer"'s technique and you have good reason to be. Please read the following info on CIO and its dangers including attachment disorders, brain damage, and other issues:

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
http://noharmcoop.wordpress.com/parent-resources/cry-it-out/
http://awareparent.net/smf/index.php?topic=335.0

For better sleep ideas read The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey karp or The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears.

I have never consulted with her, but wanted to tell you not to give up. My daughter did not start sleeping through the night until she was one year old. My husband and I had many people tell us theories of how they start sleeping through the night at a certain age or weight, but she continued to wake us up for a 2am feeding until one week after her first birthday.

Hi,

We worked with Vivian when my daughter was an 11-week old infant (she's now 19 months). Although she started as a pretty good sleeper, she got into a pattern of getting up 3-4 times a night. In anticipation of my going back to work (and total exhaustion) we consulted with Vivian after a friend of mine boasted amazing results.

Although Vivian wasn't as pleased as we were with initial results (she is a perfectionist who wants children sleeping through the night sooner rather than later) we were VERY pleased as we had our daughter on a schedule, finally. She also took to it very well and it set the pattern for good sleeping. She is now a terrific sleeper - gets up early but ALWAYS sleeps through the night, and it's been like that for awhile.

Best of luck! I highly recommned...

J.

Yes, we consulted with Vivian when my first daughter was 41/2 months old. She came to our house on a Sunday afternoon to meet with both my husband and me to discuss her technique and start the process. We started the next morning. The nights were relatively easy--only three nights and she was sleeping 12 hours at night. The days took a lot more time--almost 2 weeks, but ever since then she has been a wonderful sleeper. We followed Vivian's advice for our younger daughter without hiring her and she slept 10 hours at night at eight weeks old.

Vivian's method definitely worked. Although I had tried crying it out on my own, it was too hard for me to be consistent and it helped a lot to have Vivian on the phone telling me it would not hurt her and would eventually work. The only negative comment I have is that she is fairly harsh, not only on the baby with the crying it out, but on the parents. She definitely became frustrated with my worries and even tried to blame me for the 2 weeks it took my daughter to nap, saying that I wasn't following routine, which was not true and made me feel bad.

Good luck and remember, sleep is absolutely necessary for a baby's well being. You won't believe how happy he is on the first morning he wakes up after sleeping 12 straight hours (and of course, how happy you will be)!

She is very good although she is strict. You must follow her method to a tee the first two weeks or it won't work. If you are going use Vivian, you should talk to your husband/significant other to make sure you both are on the same page with regards to doing the CIO method or not, if you are then you need to support each other. You need to surround yourself with supportive people or you are going to second guess yourself. It is heartbreaking to hear your baby cry but the ends does justify the means (in my opinion). My son was not only co-sleeping with us, he was sleeping on me and at 11 weeks I really needed to put him on a schedule so I could get back to work (my lungs needed a break too because I couldn't breathe with his weight on me every night). The first time we let him CIO for a nap he cried for 5 minutes and slept for 2 hours, before that the longest nap he ever took was 30 minutes while being held. It took about 2 weeks of on and off again crying before he was able to sleep through the night without waking for a feeding. That was the worst 2 weeks of my life but now looking back, it was worth it because my 27 month old is happy, intelligent and constantly gets compliments on how well behaved he is. For the most part, the only time he gets cranky or throws a tantrum is when he doesn't get enough sleep. Sure there will be bumps in the road in regards to sleep, every once in a while he'll wake up in the middle of the night or refuse to take a nap, but it only happens once in a blue moon because of the sleep training. The most important things that Vivian thought us is that babies need lots of sleep, we weren't putting him down nearly enough. As first time parents we were putting our little one down for the night at 9:45pm (which we thought was early) and after we consulted with Vivian we realized a 11 week old needed 3 naps a day and should go down to sleep for the night at 5:30pm...who woudl have known? The other very important thing that Vivian thought us was not be be afraid of the baby crying, we use to pick our baby up the second he started to cry, we never let him get adjusted to hearing himself communicate or learn to soothe himself. Do what feels right to you and don't let others make you feel bad, it's not like your feeding your child poison. If it feels right in your gut, try it, if not then go with another method. At the end of the day you need to trust yourself and the choices you make for your child. Good luck!!