Has a PM Changed Your Opinon of Someone?

OMG, all these responses are making me paranoid! Are they talking about ME??!!

Bahawaha!

Yes, I PM often. Frankly, I love everybody, even if it's only for entertainment value.

:)

absolutely, and had some sent to me telling me to pipe down, and take the stick outta my butt. I wasnt aware I had sat on any, but glad to get the wake up call. Then I went in an apologized or fixed something. I also have had it convince me that certain people are completely insane and needs help.

I much rather have someone ask me to clarify what I mean, rather than go off thinking I am a piece of meat short of a sandwich.

AV:

It's easy to misinterpret things being said here. It's black and white and you can't read my passion, body language, etc. The personal message can make the difference. In many cases it does. In few it does not.

There are a few people on here that I REALLY want to meet in person as their PMs to me clarified things to me.

Yes, I have reached out and have been "reached out" to - by people trying to clarify and it has changed things. You know the "ah-ha" moment.

In my short time here, I've had several people on here PM - welcome, thanks, etc. I don't think I've pissed anyone off (yet) to get bad PMs.

I will admit there is one mom on here who has PMd me - giving me warnings about another member...the Mark Twain saying goes:

"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" - she would've been fine if she hadn't sent me a PM. Now she has removed all doubt.

Sure! There are several women here that I know feel I know well enough to call friends. And there are some that I;d walk a country mile to avoid! LOL

Actually I don't recall ever getting a PM...what am I doing wrong! :)

Absolutely...one was that I gained a respect for the person and am thankful they are on here...the other changed my view to the opposite!

i have tried a couple times to clarify when someone took something i said wrong, even misunderstanding the definition of a word i used...it never ended well. the only times my pm's end well is if i am being positive and supportive, so that's what i try to go with. any other intention is immediately read as hostile in my experience - even if i'm honestly just trying to clarify...

but also i have to say, i'm not a "normal" visitor to this site ;) in that i don't really follow specific people and get to know their answers and questions...i have a few that i have noticed agree with me more often than not, but when i read answers i'm reading the answer, i don't really base it off a previous opinion of the person - because i can't keep everyone straight, my brain doesn't work like that lol. i am truly terrible with names, even after several years here! there are ones i've had negative exchanges with, i couldn't tell you their names. i kind of like it that way, then if they write something later i agree with, i can honestly flower them and/or respond positively.

I haven't had many PM's clarifying the poster's POV. I can think of one which did nothing more than drive home the point which I already knew, 'bitches be crazy'.

This is not to be confused with the many wonderful question or conversation PM's I've had as an aside. In those instances I already have a high opinion of those people.

Well, I received a PM, and it had to do with religion. Oh yea, and it changed my opinion of that person, for the worse. When it comes to religion and politics, when people don't see eye to eye, sometimes people like to kind of get in your fact type thing, and that is what happened to me. I did not respond to this person though, figuring what good would it do.

Yes I have. I have had people pm me with more info and I've had people pm me that have never said anything controversial or stern and told me how much they appreciate me saying what they were thinking. I wouldn't have known that persons views if they hadnt said they liked what I said in private.

I have also had a pm that revealed an ugly side of someone that I had never noticed. The facade was dropped and now I definately read everything that person says with a grain of salt.

I get a PM once in a blue moon. I guess that means everybody loves every piece of advice I give? :)

I do feel like I am familiar with the ladies and gents on this site from their posts/replies though. Sometimes I don't realize how much I know about people until I describe a post to my husband and I realize I'm able to describe their background, writing style, and what they've posted in the past! Maybe I need a new hobby...

I've had a PM that convinced me go back and re word a comment I made.

no, but i am always dead on when it comes to telling who is who (character)
:)

Recently I had a series of PM's with a particular person on here who's opinion I respect and can often get on board with. This one time I wanted them to read a particular point of view that I felt may not have been considered. It did not change their opinion or perspecitive but it was a positive exchange from my side of the fence (can not speak for them). I have asked people for clarification, I have clarified to someone my perspective, I have asked for more info based on a post but I really do not retain too much info on people, I see a name and go "Oh hey! I see that name all the time, I tend to agree with them" But honestly, I do not pay too much attention to the names on an overall basis. I read the information but hardly ever read the name of the asker or the one answering, really I do not know what makes me look/not look at the names, some are familiar some are not but that is about it except for a few.

Absolutely. (To your question, "Has a PM changed your opinion of someone?")

I had a very nicely worded pm about something I had said where I had clearly mis-read what the person said. I apologized to her, and went back and corrected myself. The only other pm's I've had were in regards to my posts about being irritated by the grammatical habits of one particular poster by others who had also noticed it. I've never gotten mean spirited pms, and I've rarely pm'd other posters.

I had a snarky response to a post one time. Then she sent me a PM apologizing. It seemed very sincere and she explained her point of view. Since then I feel much better and enjoying reading what she has to say. :-)

No much as a change my point of view of somebody but more as to get to know them better.
I did send a privet to a mom who I felt my post could have being rude, it wasn't my intention but after read it again I didn't felt good about it and I wanted her to know it wasn't my intention.
I don't think I have gotten any "bad" PM. If anything once I felt I had a friendship with a mama and she stop writing but things happen and we change, I understand that, no hard feelings.

I usually don't care much for the PM's that are trying to give more info because I feel that they are often trying to strong arm me into changing my stance. Sometimes other daycare providers have been willing to give me more info that I would understand. As for getting angrier.. I really don't get angry of things people say here. I may be disgusted sometimes by what feels like ignorance to me. But that's not really directed at the person usually. I believe that much of society has gone down a bad path and we are products of decades of serious social ills. So while I may really dislike something a person is saying or doing, I'm really not angry at them.

I've had good luck and tend to like the people more.

Just one--we worked out a disagreement.
On others, I have come to know a couple of people better. I sometimes just send questions directly to one because we have gone through a similar situation and I trust her advice.

Yes, I have only gotten nice PMs (probably shouldn't say that - could change). One helped me understand another responder's POV a bit better.

I have had it go both ways. when a PM comes across first as hurtful or judging (especially judging), I try to respond with respect. Not always in agreeance of course. I have ask people to clarify or explain further their take on the situation. Usually they come back and explain and even apologize if they sounded that way. I am grateful for the respect that is shown 99% of the time. I have even had to give my apology on here a time or two. Other times I have had judgemental people get worse with each response. I don't give them any more of my time. We all have our opinions, right?

I think though that overall, it is good to respond and ask if "that" is what they really meant or that perhaps there was a misunderstanding. If you don't, you are really being as judgemental as them...right?