Hand Writing Frustration

Oh my. The value of homework is questionable for elementary age kids. I can't imagine a significant benefit for preK kids.

I would put the homework aside. It IS good for a 4-year old to work on fine motor skills, because that will make writing easier. You can do that having him do fun things like coloring, drawing, putting puzzles together, putting beads (or uncooked pasta) on strings, building with small legos, etc.

What kind of "school" is this? My kids' preschool had them strengthen their hands for writing by doing bead work, lacing, coloring, painting, etc. There was never any homework, it was all fun and play at that age, as any qualified early childhood development professional will tell you it should be.
Pull him out of that awful program and either keep him at home or send him to a more appropriate facility.

I would not make a 4 year old do homework unless they were begging to do it. As he gets older his fine motor skills will improve and then writing will not be so frustrating for him. If you make him do this each day it could make him hate writing, homework, and school. I believe very strongly that this age child should be in a play-based preschool. You can have him work on his fine motor skills in a way that is fun for him...things that he enjoys. A puzzle, a sand or bean table with little trucks, a preschool sewing project, a shaving cream project, etc. Most importantly read to him a lot every day...like 5 books or more!... point out words and letters to him, look at signs together. But let his interests guide you and focus on that for now. My son hated writing and was not interested in anything like that at age 4. He was in a play based preschool where they did all kinds of amazing activities, projects, field trips, small motor skills activities as well as large motor skills activities and outside time. We read to him a lot. He was a very early reader and by 3rd grade could read at a "young adult" level. He's 12 now and is in an all advanced academics school. I never pushed academics on him when he was young. I know of some preschools that start academics, writing, and doing workshops at this young of an age but I do not agree with their methods.

A 4 year olds job is to play. Don't force it. If you want to spend a few minutes on it make it fun but if he's still stressed, let it go.
A few ideas:
Spray shaving cream on a cookie sheet and have him use his finger to write letters.
Go outside and do same thing in the dirt.
Have him slather lotion on your, husband's or sibling's back and write letters on their back.
Hang in there and remember that PLAY is #1.

Warning: This teacher is harming your son's education.

The way you make it fun for him is to stop nagging him about it. If he's getting frustrated, stop trying to make him write and let him go play and have fun instead.

4 year old children should not be given homework, unless it's fun for them. The research shows that homework is not useful for elementary school children, and in many cases it is harmful, when it interferes with and detracts from warm, happy family interactions, as it so often does.

His homework should be having loving fun with his family. You know what's better for him than forcing him to do something he's not developmentally ready for? Instead of fighting with him over handwriting (and most kids use technology these days anyway, so they don't write that much), READ to him. Reading and talking to your children early and often is the most important factor in a successful education.

If the pre-K teacher insists on forcing your son to do needless and harmful homework, find a new pre-K. That teacher doesn't know what she's doing.

Um, stop right there. Homework for preschoolers is not developmentally appropriate AT ALL. As a former preschool teacher, I find that shocking.

Writing comes as the coordination for writing grows. Montessori schools use wooden tiles where each letter is printed with a sandpaper-like texture and children can trace it with their fingers.

My guess is that your preschool provider doesn't have a background in early childhood education. I'd look for a place that is play-based. If you ask kindergarten teachers, the biggest ways we can help our children prepare are socially and emotionally, NOT academically. Furthermore, if he's already disliking it, going into K with an aversion to it will only hurt him, not help. So start now--- tell your PreK teacher that *research* has shown that kids do not need to be writing at this age and it does NOT help significantly. Let them play!

Homework in preschool??? Elementary schools all over the country are starting to discontinue homework because it has no value and it's stressing kids out. You've got a 4 year old who is already experiencing this. Time to stop the madness.

If he has trouble holding all items (markers, crayons, paintbrushes), there are grips you can add. But even those are of questionable benefit. Go talk to the kindergarten screening staff at the elementary school - they will tell you that there is no way a 4 year old needs to be writing all his letters. You are setting up your child for a future of hating school. At this age, they learn through play. They do a variety of things to help their fine motor skills, like building with Legos and doing crafts, NOT by drilling on letters.

If the preschool teacher won't lay off, talk to the director. If you've chosen an academic preschool for some inexplicable reason, look for another program. In the meantime, INSIST that the child not have homework, and inform the school that you will not perpetuate this any longer.

I've worked with elementary children for many years on practicing writing, etc. We try to make it fun and interesting. We also use fun pencil grips to help as well.

Children in K-4 have handwriting books which usually have 1 letter per page. Most pages have a few letters as example to trace and then you make your own letter. Each day, we'd focus on 1 page, practice the letter and then color the picture that went with the sentence on that page. The children practiced making upper and lower case letters. When completed, they circle the letter they think they did the best job with, then I would come around and check to see if we matched the "best" letter, circle my best and give a sticker or draw a star or something on their paper. It was always a game to see if their "best" matched the one I thought was "best".

A lot of times, when children would get frustrated, we would take multi colored highlighters and highlight the letters or just write letters with the highlighter o plain paper and let the children trace the highlighted areas.

They also had fun when we would allow them to use the dry erase markers to practice on their desks. Shaving cream is fun at home.

Keep in mind that your son is only 4 and he is WOEFULLY NOT behind at this point. Children develop at different ages and stages of life. So, don't measure how his handwriting is based on what some other students may be doing.

We kept the practice time limited, five minutes but sometimes less or more depending on how my son was feeling in that moment. A bad day and we skipped it entirely. I also believed in creative places and ways to write. We followed the school's lead - shaving cream in the tub, paper on the driveway, writing on different textured surfaces (plastic cutting board, cardboard, etc.), different writing utensils (crayons, pencils, pens, markers). Anything to mix it up but keep it engaging. We made the writing an act of help or kindness too. For instance let's write grandma a note or let's help momma write the grocery list. I found if I could tie his writing practice to a tangible goal, he'd practice more agreeably. If we could sense him coming unglued, we just stopped.

We did discuss the matter with his pre K teacher and she agreed with not being pushy. Practice helps but ramming it down his throat is counterproductive. We also candidly let his teacher know we were not going to bring our child home for homework/practice at 4 or 5. The stress made no sense to us. He had spent all day at pre K learning and focusing. He deserved down time. All children learn the skills eventually and we were not going to foster an environment which was counter for healthy learning and family bonding. We largely let his school handle the practice. We attempted practice but never forced the issue. Good luck.

P.S. My husband and I believe frustration means back off. A fact we remind ourselves of frequently by telling ourselves and the kids to let something be for a while. Cool off and then come back to it. For young kids that may mean little to no practice and letting the practice slide for days on end.

Homework for a 4 year old is insane, as is expecting them to write - some are ready, some are not and for the ones who aren't it's OK. Stop complying with this nonsense and find a new school or push back and let the teacher know that you will not be participating in homework and that your son will learn how to write naturally when he's ready for it.

At age four, kids should be learning. But what matters is WHAT and HOW they're learning. They should be learning that learning itself is valuable, and that they're on the path to independence, at a pace that's right for them, and right for children in general. Learning to read will mean that they can go to the library and choose a book by themselves and read about what interests them (bugs, space, superheroes, what makes a truck go, how the princess went to the ball, the rules of certain sports). Learning to write will mean that they can make up their own stories and write them down, or write down a recipe for cookies, or write a letter to Grandma and receive a letter back. Learning about numbers means they can count the money in their bank, and understand about saving for something. But the proper steps in the proper order are essential.

And your son is missing out on some critical steps in the learning process. Would you expect a medical student to start out in the operating room with a scalpel, or would you hope that the student starts out learning basic anatomy, medical vocabulary, how to approach a patient who's in distress, and then progress on to increasingly difficult material in a logical prescribed order? Your son is being forced to jump ahead on some crucial learning processes.

At age 4, kids are learning how to function in a social and educational setting (how to share, how to listen, how to cooperate with other students). They learn shapes and colors, and a good teacher will be aware of potential problem areas. For example, if a 4 year old can't even recognize colors, or cannot sit down for a few minutes, or if he can't hold a crayon, or if he can't recognize his name on his desk or on a chart, the teacher might monitor that child and make sure that progress is made or get some extra help for that child. But being forced to "practice" something that he hasn't learned is detrimental.

Your child is operating on a frustrational level in writing. He finds it unpleasant, he has not mastered it, and he's not being instructed properly. Practice is for when a child has been properly taught. Your child might take piano lessons, for example, and be taught the scales, and how to hold his fingers, and how to play a scale. Then after that, he practices. He holds those fingers correctly, and he plays those scales until they become very familiar to him. He doesn't just get told "play scales until you get them right". After the frustration level, there is instructional level and then independent level. An effective teacher recognizes the levels and teaches to them.

Continually being forced to stay at the frustration level produces nothing but more frustration, and an increasing hatred for the subject, and low self-esteem. That's what your child's teacher is creating. She should recognize that he's not prepared to write yet, and she should be concentrating on making sure that he masters certain skills first, and then help him, at an appropriate age, to learn to write.

Get him out of that limited environment and recognize that he's telling you that he is frustrated and digging into a deeper hole. Don't stress. A 4 year old doesn't need to master printing or cursive. He needs to master gross motor skills, a love of learning, and an eagerness to try something new, at the proper speed and time.

He has PLENTY of time to learn to write. Back off - if you keep pressuring him, you're going to make him hate it even more! Some kids will not know how to write their abc's when they enter kindergarten and that's okay - that's what kindergarten is for! You're putting a sour taste in his mouth for school. Back off and let him be four!!!!

I would trash the writing assignment unless your son wants to do it. Homework at 4 is ridiculous. The last thing you want to do is turn him off to school.

You need a new pre-k. This "teacher" doesn't belong in a pre-K.

Reverend Ruby is spot on. Learning has to be fun. AND a child needs fine motor skills to be able to learn to write.

The pre-k "teacher" is putting the cart before the horse. Get a new pre-k.

Writing is all about small motor control - and that means working with your hands.
There are many ways to work on those muscles - using safety scissors to cut out shapes, play dough, finger painting, coloring, tracing shapes,etc (sounds like playing - it is!) besides just sitting the kid down with paper and a pencil.
Although some learn it sooner than others it's typical for kids to get a lot better at this during 2nd grade.
Our son was in Montessori pre-school - they didn't want the kids to start trying writing till kindergarten.
They didn't assign homework even in kindergarten.

K. - Is he in a VPK program? They are highly academic in FL and the research shows that they should be more play based and less academic. There should not be homework until first grade. He probably needs to strengthen the muscles needed to write - make playdough, play with clay, practice cutting with blunt scissors and then gluing - using a glue stick. Color, paint, these are all good ways to strengthen the hand muscles. My 5 year old son (6 this week!) still gets frustrated - it is his personality, he does not like to make mistakes and developmentally he still writes some letters and numbers backwards. That is not dyslexia but means that those synopses in his brain have not yet connected - they will...it just takes time. Stand up for your son and consider whether this is a good program for him. Four year olds don't have to go to school in our state.

I would toss it in garbage. Homework at four. What kind of a school does he go to??? That's a great way to turn him off to school as you can see. It would be a cold day in hell before my four year old would be doing homework

poor little fellow.
stop encouraging. stop making him practice. don't give him 'exercises.'
he had a busy morning. after lunch, go outside and do something fun.
not homework. not at 4.
khairete
S.

He's 4. Forget it and let him play outside. He's had enough school for one day and no longer has the concentration for it.

I know you've gotten a lot of answers already but I just had to weigh in. Preschoolers should not be doing homework at all. Ever. If your son spends all morning in school, he absolutely does not need to come home and do homework after lunch. There isn't anything he should be practicing. He will learn to write his name by the end of the year, but forcing him to practice it now is going to create a lifetime of frustration and homework battles. I honestly think you need to just stop. Both you and the teacher need to ease up and let it come to him naturally. When he's working on something in class, he should be encouraged to write his name on his own art projects. But other than that, there shouldn't be any practice.

Preschoolers learn best through play. They don't need academics and worksheets at all. It should be art and silly/messy science and outside time and pretend play - all fun and no work. He will learn so much through playing and he will not learn as much if he's forced to sit at a table and do work.

Please let this be a fun year for him. He has a lifetime of education ahead of him. Preschool should be a time for play and fun - no stress or frustration.

I'm so shocked that your 4 year old has homework! I know this doesn't answer your question, but would you consider changing schools? This is just my opinion, but I don't think 4 year olds should have homework. Their job is to play and learn through play! I also have a 4 year old who is enrolled in a play-based preschool who's been able to write some letters and her name since the last school year so that's proof that kids really do learn a lot through play. I would not push your son to practice or attempt to get him to try harder than you already are -- it'll backfire.

This sounds really young. My mom was a kindergarten teacher.

Homework at age 5 was - bring in something that sounds like the letter T for example. She'd come home and tell us the funniest things kids came up with. One little boy walked around his house and couldn't find anything so brought in his toast from breakfast.

I think sitting down and doing homework at age 4 every day sounds pretty intense.

If your child has fine motor skill concerns, that's a different matter. One of mine did. But that only became apparent later - age 6. She has difficulty holding pencils and scissors. There are lots of fun ways to help (I have a whole list) that are play based. We worked with OT. But to me what you're describing does not sound like that.

Something our son's piano teacher said to us: No one likes to practice, everyone likes to play. So, it has worked way better for us with piano and everything else which requires effort to infuse play into it. Take him to an office supply or dollar store and let him chose the pencils he wants to use. Let him chose where he wants to sit: in a comfy chair with a lap desk, at the dining room table...but let genuinely be his choice. Set a limit on the homework time. 4 is so very young. Go to the store (or Amazon) and let him chose a timer...we've got one that looks like a chicken. Set it for 5 minutes. And, say: Okay, after lunch, we'll go over to your comfy chair and practice till Mr. Chicken rings...okay? And, then afterward, let's go to the park.

Instead of having practice handwriting have him do fine muscle control exercises. Things like stringing beads, putting nuts on bolts etc. he will learn fine muscle control and this will help his handwriting.

It's a bit much for 4 years old. Our kids went to rigorous preschools, but never had homework. He needs to work on his hand muscles/strength. Encourage him to play with play-doh to help with these muscles. He can also move small objects (cotton balls, erasers, etc) from bowl to bowl with little tongs.

I agree that 4 is too young for homework or the requirement that he write his name legibliy. I will add that my grandaughter did start "writing" her name in pre K. I wouldn't actually call it writing. They made marks that didn't actually look like anything unless you usef imagination until perhaps half way through the year. She liked seeing her name as written by her. She did not have homework or practice doing anything until towards the end of the year. There was no pressure.

She's now 5 and starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks. I expect that many students will not have gone to pre K class. My granddaughter started in Headstart when she was 3 so by 4 she was able to make an attempt at writing having had that exposure. Still, students were not expected to draw letters. By the end of kindergarten she was able to print her name but certainly not perfectly.

I would ask the teacher what she expects. It's possible she doesn't expect good form. All of my grandchildren wanted to write their name at 4. Trying was fun. I know my daughter expected more from her older 2 kids than the teacher expected. I would clarify with her teacher what she expects from all children. I'd tell her my thoughts and see how she responds. I would not put pressure on your son to do homework. My granddaughter had "homework" in preschool. She rarely did it. She still rarely did it in pre K. I saw the worksheets as a way for parents to see what their child was learning allowing parents to include some of that at home in an informal way. Look for the letter A. Count the spoons as you set the table. Is this your name? When she did fill out very simple worksheets, she did not do it sitting just so at the table. Technically, I suppose it was homework. It seemed to me more like a way to repeat what was learned in class in a very informal way.

You are in charge of what you do at home. Actually doing the work is not important. Don't insist he keep working at it. Have him "write" his name anyway.he writes it, one time. Praise him for effort. And do something fun. If he doesn't want to even write it once, that's OK. Also, I suggest having him do anything school related after lunch is too much after spending the morning in school. Let him rest, run and be active to help him get the kinks out of his day.

He's 4. He shouldn't have homework. I truly can't believe the teacher assigns him homework.

He should come home, eat lunch, go take a nap, go outside and play, run amok, live.

Working on fine motor skills isn't bad, don't get me wrong. BUT having a kid sit for an extended amount of the day then send them home to do it more, that's crazy. Five minutes is all he needs to do outside of the classroom.

Toddlers and pre-school kids are moving from trying to hold things and move them, like pre-writing skills, from the shoulder then from the elbow then from the wrist. By kindergarten he should be able to physically be using his fingers in smaller fine motor skills. I would tell him if he practiced writing for 5 minutes he could have a special snack or pick a reward from a treasure chest or something. That would be all I would do.

Then I would tell the teacher that he isn't going to do more than 5 minutes at home and if she wanted him to write then he wasn't going to do anything else, story time at bedtime doesn't count as "homework".

You tell the teacher that your son is 4 and he will not be doing homework. He will learn to write when he learns to write and he will be fine.