'Guilty Mom' Syndrome

However it works for you and the baby, breast milk is the best thing for her. If pumping works best, go with it. Let the guilt go! You're doing great!
T.

Don't do it because you feel guilty, but do it because it will be so much easier in just a few weeks. Contact Jennifer at ###-###-####. She is a wonderful woman from LLL who came to my house when I was desperate, just after the birth of my second son. He had a terrible time latching too, and I was pumping and giving him bottles. But that is so much more work! Pumping is another job in and of itself! Call her, please; she can help you. You just need support. We can't do it alone!

I had the same problem with my daughter. She would do it at the hospital, but once we got home, forget it. So I would pump and just give it to her in a bottle. I did not feel guilty, I felt I was still being a good Mom for giving her the breastmilk. Please don't feel guilty.

Many many years ago, people had nurses for their babies. These were not medical nurses but wet nurses. The baby got the nutrition that it needed and the immunities, so every one was happy. Then there was a time when only people who could not afford formula breast fed their babies, many years ago. It was looked down on and only done by those considered less fortunate. Then the tides turned and breast feeding became what was best for baby. The moms in each situation, had society's expectations placed on them and their babies.

Do what is right for you and your little one!!! No one and I mean no one, should ever feel guilty for choosing to feed their baby breast milk from a bottle, from their body or through a wet nurse. On the other side of the coin, no one and I mean no one, should feel guilty for choosing to use formual if breast feeding is not working out for them and their little one.

When you take that baby home, you accept all responsibility for raising it. Make decisions that are best for your baby, not someone elses, and then be glad that the two of you are happy. Enjoy one another and dont let anyone tell you your decisions were not good enough, or not the right one. Believe me society will change its ideas again at some point, and some mom will again have guilt that should not be hers to bear.

Hormones? Yep! Lack of sleep? Likely! The stress of being a new mom? Probably! Add to that the physical strain of recovering from giving birth, and it's amazing that we women get through it at all, much less with ourselves and our families intact. The "weaker" sex? Yeah, right! ;-)

Try not to be too hard on yourself--in fact, be as easy as you can on yourself for a while! You're still recovering, for one thing. And for another, you just brought a beautiful new life into the world, and that's an awesome, wonderful, scary, miraculous thing (just look at her--you'll see what I mean)! Give yourself some time to adjust.

As these other moms have pointed out, we all do the best we can--whether breastfeeding or bottle feeding--and it sounds like you're doing just fine! Being a mom isn't easy, so don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it...and don't let the naysayers get you down. In fact, temporarily boot them from your life if need be! You don't need negativity or guilt trips right now--you need understanding and support. (Thanks, Mamasource Moms, for offering that!)

Our fourth child was born two weeks ago, and though I am breastfeeding him, I let my husband bottle-feed him once or twice a day with formula when I'm just too tired to sit up with him for breastfeeding (GASP! lol). Though it's *great* that you are giving her your breast milk now, even if you do switch to formula, you are NOT a bad mom for bottle-feeding, and your daughter will be just fine even if she never nurses. You are obviously a caring, wonderful mother, and that's what is important.

Enjoy that baby!
--A.

Homeones? Yes, that's some of it.

LLL or lactation consultant for help & support? ABSOLUTELY.

Bad to pump & bottle feed? I sure hope not - I did it for just short of a year (and we're still working on the freezer stash at 15 mos.)!

I will tell you that if you possibly can, get baby to nurse directly rather than pumping, because it takes a LOT of time, creates lots more things to wash, etc. However, if in your case as in ours, baby just won't do it, pumping is a viable solution to providing breastmilk to your baby. If you do end up exclusively pumping or pumping long-term, I highly suggest signing up for the PumpMoms yahoo group list -- I got a lot of support and information from the gals there. Best wishes, and enjoy your time with your little one -- it goes by in the blink of an eye!

I went through the same thing with my son. I felt really bad too. I pumped for a month for him and just couldnt keep up. I felt like I was either pumping or feeding him and thats all my life was! After a month I switched him to formula. I was really sad because I know breastmilk is best and the bonding was amazing. I even kept practicing for that month, he just couldnt get it. It actually was too painful because he wasnt latching on right. Its hard, I would call a consultant if its really upsetting you. Plus you hormones are probably nuts right now. I know how you feel, I hope it works out but your baby will be fine either way. Although I wasnt able to breastfeed how I wanted to I still have a beautiful, smart Mamas boy and we bond other ways. Good luck and congrats on baby! Cherish it and try not to worry too too much because they grow so fast!

Oh G.!!! Boot that guilty feeling right out the door!!! It is not unusual for some babies to be "lazy eaters"...and breastfeeding is MUCH more work than getting their meal from a bottle!!! You are still providing natures perfect nutrition for your precious little one...and I would think you are working a lot harder at it by pumping than you would be if she was willing to latch on and nurse at your breast!!! Now your husband, or a grandma or grandpa can have bonding time with your little one as they feed her a bottle!!!
Don't beat yourself up...relax....enjoy your first holiday season with your precious little bundle and just concentrate on loving her!!!

It's normal to feel this way. I also felt a little weird about it, but my daughter didn't seem to mind it, so that made it easier. Don't feel badly, you should be proud of yourself for pumping and not just giving up. You're doing a great job! Breastfeeding can be a little tough, but it gets much easier with a little guidance, support and practice. The first month or so is definitely the hardest, if you can get past that, you're golden. The LLL website lists groups in your area, if you haven't checked that out already. Also, you might want to check with the hospital where you delivered, they probably have some sort of support as well, or at least a lactation consultant you can call. My hospital had weekly meetings for breastfeeding moms and an LC you could call whenever you needed help.

Good luck and congrats!!! Enjoy this time, it goes soooo fast!

Don't feel guilty! My second child only gnawed on me, so I pumped for 6 months. By then, I was tired of feeling like a cow hooked to the milking machine, heh. Plus, the milk just peters out if you are only pumping, or at least it did with me. But keep it up as long as you can stand it, and feel proud, not guilty. And if you decide to go the formula route, don't feel guilty about that, either. You will do what's best for your baby, and no matter what, you can feel good about being a great, caring mommy.
Good luck! :)

As a labor nurse and breast feeding educator, I will tell you to relax. You are giving the baby the best you can. As long as you love and care for the baby, whatever way you feed is good. A lot of us made it with the bottle and did not have the breastmilk advantage you are providing. This gives the baby all the natural benefits. You are going great.We want perfect deliveries and then perfect breastfeeders, but it is not so easy. G.

The only reason we're told not to pump at first and give the milk to the baby in a bottle is it may cause nipple confusion. But I would definitely not feel guilty! If this works better for you, you're still giving your baby your breastmilk! She's still getting all that she needs from your milk, regardless of how she gets it. All babies are different. My older son weaned at seven months. My younger son is three and is just now weaning. Do your best! That's all you can do!

K.

Don't blame yourself. You are still doing something great for your baby. My SIL was in the same boat. Her son wouldn't take to her at all, so she pumped daily and gave it to him in a bottle. With you pumping, your baby is not only getting the nutritional benefit of breastmilk, but they will also have the opportunity to have that bonding time with you, dad and whoever feeds them, that they get during feedings. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing a great job so far! Congratulations on your new little one!

Ahh, the guilty mom syndrome...welcome to the club! LOL
DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT let other people try to make you feel guilty for any choice you make in feeding your baby! (We do it enough to ourselves already!) You do your best and that baby will be NOURISHED, not just fed. Milk directly from the boob, breastmilk from a bottle, formula from a bottle, or any combo thereof, given with love and care will NOURISH you child's body and soul and that is the goal. Once you settle in comfortably to whatever routine you decide is best, the next challenge will come along...
just try to enjoy the ride!

Congratulations & you are doing wonderful!!! Try not to feel guilty, you are doing a great job, and the fact that you are continuing to try to give your baby breast milk is a great feat! Breastfeeding or pumping and giving your baby milk is hard work, but I commend you for continuing to try! I recommend a LLL consultant, I spoke with a wonderful one after my third child went on strike & she helped me immensely - especially with the guilt. He was 5 months old when my husband & I went on a trip for a week and came back he wanted nothing to do with me. I pumped for the next 7 months and gave it to him that way. Keep up the great work and feel free to contact me if you need some help!

Don't feel guilty for a second. There's this idea that breastfeeding is "natural" and so it must be "easy" and that is not always true. I had inverted nipples that made it so hard for my babies to latch on. I tried these ridiculous plastic things that went on the nipple to make it stick out more, but it was useless. I pumped as long as I could stand it and then switched to formula. Both kids are happy and healthy and my husband LOVED that he got to feed them. We switched off and did every other night. You can get through one bad night knowing you'll get a full night's sleep the next! I think breastfeeding is wonderful if it works for you, your baby and your family situation, bit there are also HUGE advantages to NOT breastfeeding. Do what works and don't let guilt factor into your decisions.

My daughter would never latch on, so I pumped for 6 weeks before I quit. My milk was pretty much non existent by then, so I had to quit, plus I was going back to work, which would have been a pain. I am sure she is fine. Good luck!

NO! It's not so bad. Really, the major problem with pumping and giving your child your milk is that it is A LOT more work for you, also it is harder to keep your milk supply up (but it can be done). Do contact LLL, call a leader, they'll help you with some idea to try, go to a meeting, they are great support. You are doing wonderful things for your baby, but helping her latch on will help both of you. As a very strong breastfeeding advocate, I say feed your baby your way, as is best for you two, but don't be scared to work on it, because work now may mean a lot less work very soon! Good luck.

K.

Hi G., I did the pumping when my son was a baby, he now turning 4 next week. I think doing the pumping is much harder than breastfeeding, because you have to pump, clean up the pump, warm the bottles, and then clean the bottles. I pumped for one year atleast 5 times a day. I don't regret it, my son was in the NICU for a couple of days and I just didn't feel comfrontable breastfeeding. My only problem was that I tried to get a full bottle from each breast at one pumping, atleast 7-8 ounces. I squeezed and sucked everthing, my boobs are horrible now!!! Don't worry about what anyone thinks, we all have our own lifes. Oh, if your breast start to hurt, put a hot damp waschcloths on. That really helped. Good luck and congradulations!!

Don't feel guilty, the fact that you are pumping instead of giving up and going to formula is awesome. My oldest daughter had a really hard time learning to latch on right. An LLL nurse worked with us in the hospital and got things going but she never did nurse "normal", if there really is normal when it comes to babies. But eventually she got it down good, gained weight and I nursed her until she was two. Hang in there, it does get easier and it is awesome for your relationship, for the baby's health, and so much easier than packing bottles and formula every place you go.

No it is not bad in the least, it is actually VERY good for your baby. My son also had a hard time latching and rejected my breast. I have been exclusively pumping for him for 11 months now (plan to go to his first birthday). It takes a huge commitment, but I want(ed) him to have breastmilk and this worked. There are many sites on the web for exclusively pumping, many with great support. The main thing it to get a GOOD pump. A hospital grade, double. This makes pumping go much faster and helps maintain your milk supply. I havent actually nursed my son in 10 months, but am still getting plenty of milk. The biggest thing is RELAX. Stress will diminish your milk. You are doing great!!!

You should also try a lactation consultant through the hospital that you gave birth in. Most of the time, if you took a breastfeeding class at the same hospital, they offer 3 or more free consultations and if they don't offer free consultations, they aren't very expensive, and they are sooo worth it. My daughter didn't know how to latch on properly after birth and I had the consultant come to my room and help us get it down. It was a little stressful but once she showed me and my daughter what to do, I was so relieved and felt better. I won't sugar coat it for you, if you go in for one, they are going to do some things to her and you that you won't expect, so let me try to prepare you. The consultant had me first show her how we started a feeding and she checked the seal. Then she took a bottle that had sugar water in it and let my daughter suck on it for a few seconds and then she took it out of her mouth and forced my breast into her mouth to continue the sucking motion. The first couple of times didn't work. Then the consultant put some of the water on her finger and kept massaging the roof of my daughter's mouth and after about 30-40 minutes of working with her, she got it and we had very successful breastfeeding until she was 11 months old. The only reason I stopped then was that I was pregnant again and my doctor strongly recommended that I stopped to give the new baby the essential nutrients. My daughter before the consultation was taking bottles and a pacifier like a pro, it was latching onto the breast that she was having trouble with. Good luck and God bless you and your family!

Don't feel guilty. You have to do what you have to do to make sure your daughter is healty. My little one will latch, but simply can't get the milk from the brest effeciently. He is 4 months old and I am still working on getting him back to the breast. I dont' know if I ever will, but I do know that he is getting the best from me. Pumping and bottle feeding is hard and time consuming, so don't feel guilty for going above and beyond to make sure your little one is getting breast milk. But, I would like to encourage you to keep trying to get her back to the breast. I would suggest trying to see a lactation consultant or a LLL group. Good luck. It probably i a little bit the hormones. Been there. Sending you hugs.

I just wanted to reinforce that while there is nothing bad about pumping and bottle feeding, and at times it may work best in the short term, it may not be the most ideal solution for the long term, because the baby may come to prefer the artificial nipple, and it is harder to keep up your supply from exclusively pumping.

My first baby wouldn't take the breast, and I talked to several lactation consultants. I wasn't really getting much help, though she was gaining weight quite well. I think they didn't really think there was a problem. But, it was really difficult to get her to take a bottle too. She didn't want anything in her mouth. Finally a LC suggested maybe she'd had a trauma to the mouth (eg when they suctioned her at birth, or also when they did a gavage a couple days later). That didn't help practically, but it really validated my feelings. What did work was just plugging away, sometimes giving her a bottle and dribbling the milk into her lips until she would take it farther into her mouth. It was maybe 3 months before we had it down, and now she's 4 and still nurses before bed. I am positive I would have a great deal of regret if I had quit trying early on.

Early problems are common, but they are almost always fixable, with help, and it is very worthwhile to put in the effort in the beginning. Sure, breastfeeding takes time, but it is time you can be sitting down and relaxing, or reading a book, or dozing off, instead of trying to scrub dried milk out of the threads of a bottle or figure out which bottles are bpa- and phthalate-free. Plus if someone else is around, I'm much more comfortable nursing in front of them than pumping! haha

I don't know if it's hormones or it's just mommy syndrome. We've had it drilled into us for so long how things are supposed to be that we just naturally feel bad if somehow we just can't provide it.

I too had a HORRIBLE problem with my first born latching on. Definitely get to your LLC or just go by the hospital and ask one of the maternity nurses to help you out. I went for a private session with a professional nurse and we spent about an hour with her and we had it down pat. It was the best time investment.

With my 2nd child I was totally detached...I dreaded her birth and just had a HORRIBLE time initially bonding with her (SEVERE post partum depression). I really didn't want anything to do with her (and she pretty much felt the same way b/c she rarely latched on) so I pumped and then my sister fed her bottles. Definitely, contact them for some support but in the meantime, know that you are doing the very best for her that you can. You may have some problem with nipple confusion but a good breastfeeding consultant should be able to help you with that. Hang in there! You're doing great!

Don't let anyone make you feel like bottle feeding YOUR baby breast milk (or formula for those out there) is not okay.

My first child only breast fed for two weeks...and she is a healthy almost four year old. My son (almost one) has been breast fed since day one. Our issue was not on him taking the breast, I had enough...our issue was he refused ANY bottle. When I returned to work he would either not drink or only take a bottle if someone squirted in his mouth.

I skipped bottles all together. We went straigt to sippy cups. I know people will disagree with me but frankly I don't care. He's MY child and I did what I had to in order for him to get the breast milk. He's a happy baby who drinks from a straw and a boob now!

One trick I was taught by one of the nurses in the hospital was to lay him naked on my bare chest (no feeding at all) and then when he was calm try to latch...it worked I did that for about a week before every feeding and well as you read above he refused bottles.

Don't worry about what anyone else says. She is your child and you know what is best for her. You do what you have to...you are tired and hormomal...it's all natural.

Good luck

congratulations on being a new mommy!

Here is a resource for exclusively pumping moms:

www.exclusivelypumping.com

I exclusively pumped for 14 months for my oldest daughter and 13 months for my second. Do what works for you and your baby.

Don't feel guilty at all!! The important thing is that she's getting the breast milk...how doesn't matter. =0)

KNOCK OFF THE GUILT! You are giving your daughter the best nutrition it doesn't matter how she gets it. I had a friend whose first child wouldn't latch on so she pumped. With her second she wasn't even going to try to nurse, just pump. But things were different with him.

Do contact the LL and check with your doctor to make sure your hormones are not too out of wack.

Enjoy your little one they are so precious.

Don't feel badly. I had a 29.5 week preemie and he was too little to take the breast (as well as being in the hospital) so I was forced to pump. He did just great and he is now 20 weeks old and growing like a weed. The important thing is that she gets your breastmilk, not the delivery method. If you are continuing to feel depressed though, look into post partum, it took me weeks to admit I had it, and now that I am being treated I feel SO much better!!! Good luck.

K.

Hi G.,
I have a gorgeous 4 year old little girl that was breast fed for the first year. I don't think you should feel guilty at all, at least you are trying, and your daughter is getting the nutritional and the immunity benefits of breast milk, while you get the benefit of being able to leave her with your Mom or someone if you'd like down the road for more than 2 hours. Breastfed babies often become so attached to the natural nipple they won't take a bottle. I know I had a horrible time getting my daughter to latch on and had to use a little thing that looked like the nipple of a bottle on my nipple to get her to latch on, and then I could only feed her in the football position. I think that it was the best thing for her so I did it, but it was hard, and I'm not sure I would do it again. So kudos to you for keeping at it, and by the way it took a good month for my daughter to really learn to latch on, so keep trying to get her to latch on if you want, but know pumping is a way better alternative than formul. Also make sure that you are drinking plenty of water because that will help you keep up your milk supply. Good luck!
M.

there is no shame in having a little help when it comes to breast feeding. i commend you for using this solution, you are giving your newborn a wonderful gift of breast milk.

i too had problems with latching for my 1st born and remember breaking down and asking hubby to take back a 500 dollar spa gift certificate he gave me for Xmas and exchange it for a breastpump.

Breastfeeding will get easier and calling LLL is an excellent start.

Please keep us posted :)

ps...congrats on your brand new daughter. i too am expecting a little bundle of joy in the next 3 weeks and plan on nursing the baby.

my son didn't want to nurse either and it wasn't a good experience for either of us. we would both end up crying by the end so i did the same thing - pumped into a bottle and gave that to him. it worked out fine for us and he is now a healthy, happy 2 year old. people offer a lot of advice and it can get pretty scary but i think you should do what works for you and what is healthy physically and emotionally for you and your baby. i saw three different lactation specialists and it didn't work for me but they all made me feel bad, as though there would be a connection lost between me and my son. it's just not true - we bonded immediately and have stayed that way, even with the bottle...

Please don't feel guilty. Your baby will be alright no matter what you choose to do. I was unable to breast feed and I felt very guilty about it until I made the decision to stop and then I relaxed and everything else was better. I would encourage you if you choose to keep breast feeding work with your baby to get her to accept the breast. I had a friend who had the same issue and she would pump and then feed. This doubles the amount of work as you spend time pumping and then feeding. I would either get her to breastfeed or switch to formula fairly soon. You could express some milk and freeze it and then supplement with formula.

You shouldn't feel guilty. You are doing the best for your baby. I pumped for 14 months for my preemie twins. They were unable to latch before we left the hospital so I just continued pumping. When the boys were 2 months old (adjusted age), their physical therapist told me that I might try breastfeeding again because sometimes they are still able to latch later on. Although I did have some success at that point, I just wasn't able to get into the routine of breastfeeding myself, so I returned to pumping. Pumping every 3 hours isn't easy, but it is sooo worth it for your baby. There are some great support websites online that you may want to join if you continue. Best of luck to you!

G., You should not feel guilty at all. You are still giving your baby the best food she can get even though you are putting it in the bottle. Plus keep in mind that this way others can share in the joy of holding and feeding your baby and you still know she is getting the best for her. I tried to nurse and couldn't get the latch down either. I also tried to pump and could not get more then an ounce total after 45 min of pumping. I think it sounds like you are doing the best for you and your baby. Beware of the Lactation folks though they may try to make you think otherwise. Mine added to my guilty feelings when I couldn't nurse. Good luck.

I had a hard time getting my babies to latch on as well. I was lucky to have a nurse suggest using a nipple shield while the baby was learning the process. You can find them at Target made by Medela. This made all the difference for us. Once you get better established in the routine of nursing, then you can wean your baby off the shield so you are breastfeeding like anyone else. The shield also helps to prevent soar nipples. I think they come in two sizes. I always used the larger shield. Good luck with all the adjustments!

G., do not feel bad. I had many issues with breastfeeding with my first one. I did not get into it until she was 3mo. So, believe me it is very hard. Just keep trying and one day you both will get it. My little one had colic issues as well. And yes, your hormones are not helping you either, just relax and try to make the best of breastfeeding, and keep pumping to keep a good supply. You can get a lot of closure as well by feeding her/him with a bottle. Just remember new born wants their mama close to them. They know who their mama is by the smell. :)

Welcome to the world of parenthood! Like most things in life, parenting is about balance. This may be just your first experience with trying to balance being a perfect mom and doing the best you can. You can only do what you can do. Contact LaLeche or sometimes hospitals or public health nurses can help you out with this too. That's a great idea. I was so anxious when I was a new mom, I don't know if I could have thought that clearly. In the meantime, you're doing the best that you can do. Don't feel guilty, that emotion is just going to get in the way. There are going to be plenty of times when you can't be "perfect" Don't make it a habit to feel guilty when you can't be "perfect" I

it is not bad, but it is most of the times not as efficiant as the real thing. any and all breast milk that you are able to give your baby is wonderful. please dont let breastfeeding nazis cause you concern about the health of your baby if you are not able to bf for the full year. i was unable to bf past 2 months on both my kids due to time, work and drying up. they are both very healthy, than i know kids that have been bf past a year and get constant infections. remember you are the mommy and whatever you do is right

Don't feel guilty G.. At least you are giving your baby the breastmilk. My youngest dauggter wouldn't latch, mostly because she was in the hospital for a month after birth and I was unable to be there at every feeding because of my older children and lack of help. I pumped for 11 months (until she could drink regular milk). Just try to look at the positives here. Good Luck.

Hi G.,

I have never felt compelled to write to anyone as I do now. My son is 4 1/2 months old and I have only pumped since the day he was born until 3 days ago. My son was tongue-tied at birth and had a hard time latching on. By the time we had taken care of that he would not latch on. THe lactation consultants made me feel so guilty that I cried for a few days even after I left the hospital. A good friend of mine and my husband kept reminding me that he was getting the nutrition that he needed from my breastmilk that it didn't matter that it wasn't directly from my breast. My milk started running low recently so we decided to try breastfeeding to see if that would help. My son will now latch on. If he is exremely tired or hungry it is a little struggle but we stick with it and he hasn't had a bottle in 3 days. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't but keep in mind that your baby girl is getting everything she needs regardless of the fact that it is from a bottle. Good luck....

J.

Don't feel bad at all. At least you are giving her the benefits of breast milk. It doesn't matter how she gets it. I just delivered a baby boy 4 1/2 wks ago. He was delivered at 31 wks and is still in the NICU today. I pump and they give him a little bit through a feeding. My point is, he is getting it. Although he's not taking a bottle or nursing directly, he's getting it.

Don't beat yourself up over it. If she would rather have a bottle, then give it to her.

Hope this helps.

When my son was 2 weeks old he developed thrush. Little did I know that mother's can develop thrush on the nipples because of this. I hurt so bad but was sooo embarrassed to even consider calling my doctor that I ended up pumping and giving my son milk that way so it didn't hurt so bad. I pumped breastmilk for 10 months for my son to drink from a bottle and never once thought anything about it. You are providing him with the best nutrition possible whether you give him breastmilk by the breast or breastmilk by the bottle. Some babies just have trouble latching, and the stress that causes isn't worth it. By pumping your milk you are relieving the stress caused by latching issues and still giving your child the extra nutrition of breastmilk, as well as making things easier for you by being able to allow someone else to help feed baby while you get a little much needed rest:)

The guilty feeling is hormones. I wasn't able to breast feed my 1st and I felt horrible about it. FYI-he's hardly ever sick, and is still a good smart kid.

It's hard to get over the guilt, but if you need, pump and have someone feed her, then leave your house and get some alone time. It will help. My pediatrician always told me to take care of myself 1st since I would never be able to take care of my babies if I was tired, crabby or stressed. He was right;-)

Congrats on your new baby, and remember as long as you are loving her, feeding her and keeping her clean, that's all she wants and needs.

Try not to be too hard on yourself and enjoy her, bc (I hated when people said it to me, but it's true) they grow up so fast, you'll miss everything.

I understand the guilty mom syndrome but don't worry about it. My daughter (almost 9 months now) has been bottle fed breast milk since day one. She has breast fed a total of 5 times since she was born. She just didn't take to the breast. I felt guilty too but she was going to have to be bottle fed (breast milk) when I went back to work anyway at 2 months. Good luck and don't let the guilt get to you!

I think we all relate to feeling guilty, especially when you are having difficulty breastfeeding. I am a new mommy too, and the first 2-3 wks were terrible with feedings taking anywhere from 2-3hrs. She would not latch on, and then wouldn't do anything, and would sleep...it was never ending (I would try to nurse, then I would pump, and then my husband would feed her). It upset me to have her fed by a bottle, but it was comforting to know that she was getting my milk. I did have a sense of relief when a friend told me she had trouble nursing too, so she would pump, and then feed her the bottle...she had to do this for several months, and one time she tried to nurse and no problems since then.

Feedings are much better now, they still take about an hour, but that beats the 2-3hrs they were before. Little milestones ;) You will be fine, just do what you can and you will be great.

Good Morning Pretty Mama!! What a blessing you have! You are doing awesome!!
Way Back, and I mean WAY back they didn't have the breast pumps they have now. And my eldest son would not latch to save me. At that time you stayed a few days in the hospital before they let you go home. I would call the nurse to help me with him, show me how to get him to latch on. Well she would get self-righteous and tell me All Mothers knew how to feed their baby's and would take him to the nursery and give him a bottle. Another nurse would place a bottle type nipple on my breast and leave. He didn't like that either.
They didn't keep babies in the room with you.

Long story shorter, I had a girl friend come over after I got home to help me. We tried everything but by that time he was hooked on the bottle. Our pumps were Hand held, with a bulb squeezer and looked like a Uuga Horn!!with a indented bulb to hold the milk. I would pump and pump, until i was so sore I couldn't even wear a bra. Would get 1 & half an oz at most. I quit very soon after. He was doing well at 6 wks. with formula that only came in a can. He is a Strapping 6'2 240lb now:)

I didn't even try with our second son, and I think he would of nursed very well. But the epidural hit wrong and I couldn't do anything but crawl to the bathroom after I got home. So I had to leave all the feedings to my hubby, plus take care of our 27 month old. Terrible blinding headache!
Our youngest is 5'11 and 150. He survived too :)

My tale only goes to show that NOT all mom's and babies Get it together in the beginning, and should never be made to feel guilty or a terrible Mama. Not every mama knows what to do right off the bat. As Corbin would say "Silly Nurses Nana"

With our daughters in law's they struggled for a time also, but they were able to speak with a lactation nurse who is a close friend of ours and we got them the GOOD pumps...lol Didn't need them for long.
Gen did when she went back to work, pumped and froze for me to use during the day.

Please do not feel guilty or less then a Woman for not getting your little Princess to latch. Your a wonderful new mama and doing the very best you can. That to me is AWOWsome. Relax and dearly enjoy your precious little girl

God Bless you G.!!
K. Nana of 5

Congratulations, G.! What a wonderful Christmas present!

First off, try not to feel guilty or I guess, maybe when you do, in your mind counteract it with a positive. You ARE doing awesome! Do you know how I know this? Because you keep trying and worrying and hoping. You are doing what you need to do to take care of your baby, and that is one of the most important things. The most important thing is to love them.

I definately recommend La Leche League or consulting with a lactation specialist that either the pedi or you ob recommends. Most hospitals offer a class on breast feeding. I went after my daughter was born. I couldn't get in prior to her birth and it seemed better to me after I sort of had an idea, because she could confirm what I was doing right or help correct something that I wasn't quite sure about. I also had the most success with the football hold. She was positioned better to "latch on".

Pumping is fine to do too. Eventually you would probably need to start doing that anyway. I felt quilty because somehow my daughter was not getting enough, so I had to supplement breast milk with formula every other feeding. She just wouldn't gain weight. But I was reminded that I was still a good mom bcause I was doing what needed to be done to take care of my baby.

I am sure that everything is going to be fine. You both are learning.... Enjoy!!!

G., I'm sure the LLL people will be able to help, but what you are doing is the best thing for now. Breast milk is best and if you have to give it to her by bottle then at least she's still getting it.

Take Care, M.

I just came acorss your post. Don't feel bad at all. My daughter couldn't latch on - ever! They delivered her using forceps and she had some bruising on her mouth that made it hard at first. Then she was so used to the bottle that she never went back to the breast. I pumped for six months for her. It was not easy or fun, but effective - which is all I really cared about. There are some great support groups online for pumping moms that I used during that time.

Also - as a side note - my son who was born 18 months later breast fed just fine.

Good luck. Don't feel guilty!