Great Things About Having an Only.

no sibling rivalry lol! plus I as I told my husband when we were discussing having another baby, we got so lucky the first time I dont know if we can be that lucky a second time (and then since my lil sis was in the room I added my parents thought so and look what happened...she didnt find it as funny as me, but she has no sense of humor lol)

Thank you for asking this... I have an amazing little girl and am unable to have another one. I tried for nearly 2 years and had one more m/c (#7) Elizabeth was my seventh pregnancy and my only child. She is the best gift I have ever gotten and one amazing kid.

She and I had a conversation the other day. Both of her best friends have little brothers both named Benjamin. So Elizabeth asks me, "Mia has a baby Benjamin. Matt has a baby Benjamin. Can I have a baby Benjamin?"

To this I responded, "If you have a baby Benjamin, you have to share Momma with someone else. Do you want to share Momma with someone else?"

She promptly responded, "No!" and gave me a big hug.
No more discussions about having a baby Benjamin...

I love the time I have with my gorgeous Elizabeth and I don't think I would want to share that time with anyone else either. We have a unique bond and I can't imagine having that with another person.

I can tell my son "I love you the BEST" and I do!
I'm way too "type A" to have enough energy to focus on mmore than O. and so is hubby.
I love having O.---O. perfect kid. I, too feel like we got it right the first time!
I feel we can give him every advantage--with no guilt.
I know in my heart that we got SO lucky the first time, it would never happen like that again! :-)
I love what adansmama had to say about her heart overflowing!

My kid gets plenty of interaction with peers, adults, cousins, etc.

I have an only child, and I simply love it! We do everything together from sitting in a big cardboard box making forts or just telling made up stories inside them. Shes my favorite little best friend. I come from a big family of 6 and I was always feeling left out or that my turn was always over way too fast. I didnt want my little one to ever feel this way, so I only wanted one. :)

aw sweetie! i know exactly what you mean. sometimes having an only is a mixed blessing but we make our choices for our reasons. just think how much money-time-energy-stress you're saving by only having one :) AND maybe take your one and only out on a mommy-and-me date to reconnect and fall back in love. i know a big part of my reasoning is that 99% of the time my little man is truly all i need. my heart is already overflowing when his arms wrap around me :)

I love that I can tell him a million times a day that he's my favorite kid and really mean it.
(I'm an only child as well and I remember my mom telling me I was her favorite kid and how cool that was to me. I'd go through and name all the kids in our family and all my friends and say, "You like me even better than (other kid)?" and she'd say yes every time.)

What a great question, R.! As a mother of an only and a grandmother of an only, here are a few of the fabulous bennies of being a mother (or granny) to one:

1. Even relatively limited financial, personal, and energy resources can work, and work well. I don't have to spread myself, my budget, or my time too thin in an attempt to meet all my children's needs. Inevitable emergencies will have less impact, because fewer family members will be affected.

2. Life at home is surely calmer with one than with multiples. No sibling rivalry issues, no fighting, less noise, less mess. More adult attention when needed. And I have extra time to really research optimal child-rearing. I'm always interested in polishing my chops.

3. I can really focus on the unique and special qualities of one child, and come up with the best possible educational, cultural and social opportunities. You should see the fabulous projects and games my grandboy and I do together!

4. I have extra time and energy to share with other children, many of whom desperately need caring and available adults in their lives. This is important to keep in mind because those children, along with whatever deficits they may carry into their adult years, will be part of the world MY child and MY grandson have to share.

Over the years this has included volunteering at an elementary school, teaching kids' classes at my church, and offering free babysitting to stressed moms.

5. I don't want my personal desires to cloud the futures of children living today. More people = more impact on the natural world, upon which all life, not just human, ultimately depends. We already have a human population that's crowding out other species, polluting, and over-consuming natural resources, and those problems have become ever more evident since I had my daughter in 1971. So for me, limiting family size is one of the greatest gifts we can give to the future.

Those are just the top 5. I'll bet I can think of at least a dozen more good reasons without digging too deeply.

I LOVE that she crawls in bed with me in the morning and snuggles reading books and I don't have to get the baby. I LOVE that we can jump up and go somewhere whenever we want. I LOVE that she just told me last week that I was her favorite friend. I LOVE that we can afford activities for her, but couldn't with another. I LOVE that I am able to involve myself completely into every new stage she's in and not miss a thing. I also love that with one, I do have a bit of time to myself because she's very independent.

Just to be clear, I'm not knocking families with more kids and I think that's wonderful for many people. I'm just telling you what I love... This was a good exercise for me because I struggle with this sometimes as well. So, for that, thank you!

Hey R.... I have 2 kids as you know.
But for 4 years, my dear girl was an "only" child.
What I loved about it... is that I could focus on ONLY her.. .and be with ONLY her and enjoy ONLY her.... but as such, we have a real good 'relationship' post 2nd child.
But, I still do sometimes 'miss' being only with her... not that I mind my 2nd child at all... but it is just those special on-on-one moments... with her.... and being able to FULLY be "with" her all the time and not feeling so rushed around with now having 2 kids.
I felt... more patient. And sane. LOL

all the best,
Susan

My husband says we got it right the first time.No regrets.

I agree with the we 3 are very close. Our daughter is brilliant, stable and has always been mature. She loves volunteering and is not a big consumer. She is ore mature than us..

We have never had a lot of money, so we were able to live extremely frugally. No big cars, no big house (2bdrm, 1 bath), no multiple anything. We now have our home paid off, but I was able to stay home the entire time she was in school. I volunteered at all of her schools. I was a mom that could always be called on. The schools still call and ask for my help!

Only had to go through teaching a child to drive once.

No fights about sharing. No racing around to multiple schools, activities.

1College education.

Also none of the younger child wanting to be like the older child.

I do miss babies, So I like to help young moms or families care for their kids.

You're not outnumbered.

There's a saying: "You have the first one for yourself, you have the second one for the first one..". Nothing wrong with doing that, having a sibling is an enrichment for life and it is a different bond than friendship. Some of us will never have a second one (sigh) for life-related reasons, but a parent can be perfectl happy with just one child. And a child can be perfectly happy without siblings. It's all in how the only child lives his "only-hood"...I've heard of big families where there were so many children one could even feel lonely..it all depends, so I guess it doesn't matter wether or not we have only children, what really matters is that they are happy, fulfilled, balanced people.

All of my friends are PULLING there hair out with there "2" children.. There beyond stressed, there dealing with the bigger one being mean to the younger one, having to go through the diaper/night feeding/night waking again... they have to buy 2 of everything.. when they go to the stores they now have to buy 2 toys if there giving there child a special treat. When they go out to lunch/dinner/breakfast they have to buy 2 kids meals instead of one... Getting the kids in the HOT florida heat takes twice as long with two... When one gets sick, the other gets sick... When you buy plane tickets you have to buy for 2 children now, when your clothes shopping you have to buy double, when/if they go to private school you have to pay for 2 kids futures... When I'm at the the beach/pool with my "more than 1 child" friends, they are constantly looking to see where one or the other child is....
PROPS to all the moms/dads out there that have more than 1 child... My only son will be 4 in October and I've always known I just wanted one... It didn't change back then and it certainly won't change in the future.. I LOVE children, I just don't want anymore :0)

Once you are done with diapers - you are done!
Potty training only once!
Once he/she is sleeping through the night, there are no siblings to wake him/her up.
One trip through the terrible twos and horrible threes.
Easier to travel with one child (one stroller, one diaper bag, etc).
You can afford to travel with one.
When your child wants to sit in your lap, he/she doesn't have to fight or share with anyone else (except maybe Daddy).
No bickering between siblings! (Big one for me since me and my sister fought over everything!)
No scheduling issues between siblings and activities, school activities, and birthdays.
One batch of homework to check and sign off on.
One wardrobe to check on what has been out grown and needs to be donated.
One to teach how to drive.
One trip through teenager-hood!
One to spend on to send to a prom.
One graduation from high school and collage.
One wedding to help pay for.
I so LOVE my one son!

In addition to what all the other mothers have said about having an only, I'm also content with the fact that I'm not making a huge ecological footprint with my offspring. It's not the most important reason to me as to why we chose to have an only, but I'd be repeating many of the ideas others have already said and I wanted to post something.

The reasons I had for only wanting one were varied. Having a kid is like playing Russian roulette. You never know what's going to happen when you pull the trigger so when I pulled my trigger and got lucky I thought I'd stop while I was ahead.

My sister and I never had a good relationship. My mother gave birth to my sister FOR ME. She wanted me to have a sibling, someone to commiserate with later in life. We don't speak. We fought all the time growing up. We were as black and white as two people could be. If I said yes, she said no. If I wanted quiet, she'd be screaming. I was a nerdy bookworm and she was a social butterfly.

When you get pregnant you don't know if you're going to be giving birth to a personality that will mesh with the rest of your family. After our first (and only) we loved the dynamic our little household had and we didn't want even a remote chance of destroying the harmony we had achieved. I thought back to my childhood and though most of it was just fine, there were parts of it I didn't want to repeat with myself in the role of mom. I am of a different temperament than my own mother and she put up with a tremendous amount of dissonance between her kids. I, on the other hand, would not have the patience for it. I would end up hating my own kids for not getting along if they turned out anything like how my sister and I did. I would resent them, for all the sacrifices this family makes to make room for children, to have them at odds with each other all the time would make me want to knock their heads together and leave them on someone else's doorstep and wash my hands of it all together.

Because I know in my heart that no matter how hard my mother tried, my sister and I just could not get along. It was just an unlucky roll of the dice. If I had been more like my sister, or she like me, maybe we'd have been fast friends. Bonded over shared childhood experiences. But that wasn't the case. We were toxic for each other and lived side by side in parallel lives, injuring each other with our mere presence and I knew that I didn't want to spend 20 years of my life trying to fix my kids so that they'd like each other. I chose to opt out of that particular joy.

My nerves! If one makes my nerves this bad, I am glad there is only one.

1. One child is less stressful! My patience is rarely stretched too thin (I'm NOT a very patient person by nature)

2. More funds on hand for outings/vacations -- we LOVE to travel

3. More one on one time with our child

4. No sibling rivalry or fighting

5. More time with my husband at night

6. Easier to focus on one child's homework at night

7. We only have a two bedroom house :)

8. Saving for college will be easier

9. My husband and I never have to "divide and conquer" as I see all of our friends having to do w/ their kids

10. After nursing for 21 months, my boobs are still in pretty good shape. Doing it again? Forgetaboutit!!

11. I have the energy to play with our daughter!

12. Every little thing is special w/ our daughter :)

13. Family is very willing to watch one child while we have our adult time. Two or more? Don't think that would happen.

14. We honestly couldn't afford another child, whethere we were up for it or not

15. For us, one child is easier on our marriage

16. We're the 3 muskateers and a really close family

17. I never have to go through infancy stage again!

Good luck!! ;)

Thank you so much for asking this question. I loved reading your responses so far. I have one absolute joy. At 2 1/2 he is the funniest person that I know and I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love him (I know that mothers of multiple children say the love just multiplies..but I guess that is one of things you can not fully comprehend until you have the second or third and so on). Knowing how much I love my son, I can't stand when some people act like I must not enjoy being a mother when I say that we are "one and done." It is like they think if I love being his mom, I should have more. My MIL in particular could never understand until I explained it to her this way....I asked, "if you hit the lottery jackpot, would you keep buying tickets?" She immediately answered, "no" and I said, "well, there you go." It was that simple but it was like a lightbulb went off for her and she has NEVER bothered me about it again.

I feel very lucky to be my son's mother. We are very close. He still cuddles with me for at least an hour every morning as we curl up in a chair and look at books (and sometimes watch Elmo). I have to work and I am only with my lil guy a little over 5 waking hours per day M-F and all of the weekends. I don't want to make him share me. I feel like he deserves all of my focus during that time (and more). Maybe if I was a SAHM, I would feel less guilt about having a second. I am one of three and although I get along fine with my brothers, we are not particularly close. I feel like I have sisters and brothers in my friends. Also, my husband has only one brother and they never got along. They have not even spoken to each other for over 5 years. They arrange visits to their parents around each other. His brother has never spent 2 minutes with my son. So the argument about having another to "give him a sibling" holds no weight in our home....in fact, from my husband's point of view, it is one of the reasons he wants to limit us to one. My other reason is that I had my son at 34 and I am cautious about the higher risks after 35. Although I would love any baby, if I were to have a special needs child, that child would require a lot more attention that would ultimately be taken away from my current favorite child :-) Although finances are not the backbone of my decision, there are def. pros to only one. One college tuition is better than 2 or 3 :-) I want to make sure he is provided for in this way. My husband and I both worked since we were teens and paid our own way through college with the help of loans that we are still paying back. I want to let my son start off his adult life debt free. Also, I don't believe my only needs a ton of "stuff" but I do want to provide him with enriching experiences as he grows. It is easier to afford various lessons, sports equipment, memberships to zoos, museums etc with one child than it is for more than one. With one, the vacations and potential overseas dream trip is easier to reach.

Despite all of this though, I completely understand where you are coming from. Every once in a while I become very hormonal as well and really desire another baby. I look through the early photos and feel so sad about how fast that time went and I want to get those moments back...but then I tell myself that the time will go just as fast with a new baby and remind myself how very lucky I already am to have him and to not be "greedy" by wishing for something that I don't have.

After I had my daughter 3 years ago, I developed blood clots in my legs which went to my lungs...fortunately I pulled through, but my ob-gyn does not even want me to use hormonal forms of birth control, so getting pregnant again is not really in my best interest. And besides, my husband has 2 teenage boys from his first marriage - he was thrilled to have a girl with me and now he's all set, so we were already leaning toward having an "only" anyway.

Sometimes I do miss the baby stuff, but not enough to think about having another (which would only be by adoption anyway, and I have not ruled that out yet). I will say that the things that make me happy about only having the little girl that I have now are:

1. No sibling rivalry. My stepsons argue and bicker about the most ridiculous stuff ever and it's enough to drive me mad. Their behavior has actually turned me off more to the idea of having more than one.
2. Less expensive. Might sound harsh, but the reality is that I can do more for my daughter financially because she is the only one. Start thinking about the cost of day care (if you have to), pre-school tuition, taking a vacation, going anywhere that is not free, braces, driver's ed, college tuition, etc., then start multiplying that times 2 or 3.
3. More attention I can give to my daughter because I am not being pulled in a million different directions.
4. I think every child, to some degree, comes with their own personality and temperment and fortunately, we won the "baby lottery" with my daughter. She's been a great sleeper and has slept through the night since 2 months old. No health problems. Very smart, outgoing, and friendly. Well behaved in public. A joy to be around (most of the time!). Eventually I think the law of averages catches up with you and I don't want to take the chance that we could have a child that totally rocks the boat. Of course I would still love him/her just the same but to be honest, I don't think I have the patience for a "difficult" or "challenging" child. I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

I will say that my daughter gets plenty of interaction with other kids her age and at other ages, so learning to get along with others is really not an issue.

And whenever I start to reconsider, I think about whatever not-so-fun "phase" my daughter is going through at the moment and ask myself, do you really want to have to go through this again?

I enjoyed reading all of the answers. I have one 10 month old and everyone of my family members thinks it's practically a sin not having another. I honestly felt better reading how many people admitting that one is okay and actually better in alot of ways. Great Post.!

Having an only child means I don't have to constantly compare him to anyone. And I'm not constantly being pulled in different directions.

I'm one of the only moms in my mom's group to have only one kid. If I were in a stable and loving relationship and healthy financial situation, I'd most likely think about having another one... but seeing as the reality is I'm a single mom who is working hard, this is what I'm thankful for, concerning having only one: he is the light of my life, the apple of my eye, and the one who keeps me humble. Having one child is both a challenge and a great joy. Having one child is a miracle. One child as opposed to more means no sibling rivalry, and a lot of quality time for the one. I do make sure he has lots of time with other kids of all ages, so he is not missing out on interactions with mixed ages (and purposely choose his daycare situation to be mixed age as well). As a single mom, I could not see myself being a good mom to more than one, so I consider it a blessing to have just one!! And I do think that you have more time to enjoy and appreciate your child's growth and development. With more than one, I think sometimes you miss out on some things... having one is awesome.

Me and my husband have one child who is 5. The next closet person in age to her is 21. We are planning to have another.

I'm an only child. My husband was one of two but his brother died during a medical procedure as a teen.

It is hard for me personally, being an only because my mom has MS and all of her care falls on me rather than me and another sibling. My husband's parents are both in their late 60's/early 70's and all of their care falls on him. My grandmother died this past April. I couldn't imagine our daughter going through what my mom and her sisters went through alone.

Thankfully, we can afford to have another one.

Ive noticed tons of pregnancies as well ( I was thinking about it today when dropping my preschooler off). I know down here it was a VERY cold winter. I am a mom of 2, but was the mom of an "only" for almost 8 years. There are a lot of benefits. I think that only children get more one on one mom or dad time. They also tend to have more "things", vacations, etc. As a parent there is a lot more "me time" with only one child. I think there are benefits to having more than one child as well. I am a single parents and I know that when I am gone my children will have each other. More siblings means a built in friend and playmate even when they are far apart. I can't even imagine having 2 young children. I might go insane. My advice is have your child have friends over or watch a friend or relatives baby for a night. That would give you a better idea of what it would be like. I love my kids to death but I can see both sides of the story.

Hormones are even the strongest only-child mother's enemy!

I love my only! I love knowing that I'll always be able to help him with homework. I love knowing the teething/midnight feedings/diaper phases will be a one-time-only experience. I love that my husband and I can have family dates with our son and it doesn't become a UFC cage match over the last breadstick.
Most of all, I love being able to tell my son every night when I kiss him good night, he is my most cherished, most favorite little boy in the world and I never have to feel guilty for telling a sibling the same thing.

Hello,
I am 1 of 6 children in my family. 3rd to be born, so kinda sounds like I'm the middle child. I made the decision of never to have children when I was like 6 yrs. old. lol Well, I decided on 1 ONLY! Right after delivery I had a tubal. I have no regrets at all. I love that I don't have to share her or her having to share me. I feel that if I had other children I wouldn't be able to do as great a job as I am, and that's just my opinion about myself. I ask her if she wants a brother or sister and she says,"Mom! No! I love my room, T.V., and the stuff that we do". My heart melts. I really didn't see myself with a car full of kids to tell you the truth. I love giving her the opportunities, time, and SPACE I didn't have. I dread the day when she's too old, or too busy to hang out, or tell me about her day. Til then, I'm gonna cherish every moment. Who knows....maybe she's the one that will have the HUGE family.

Hi R.,

Let me see...
Good things about having only one: diapers are done, diaper bags are relatively short lived, vacations, college, babysitters, one on one time, vaccinations, dating, wedding if you are the bride's parents, no sibling rivalry, labor, potty training, doctors visits, sports, school clubs, homework help, easier to arrange 'you' time, less guilt over your attention being spread too thin...you name it, it is 2X easier than with a second child!

BUT if you decide to have a second there are pro's and con's to that decision too, just different.

Best wishes for feeling at peace with your decision!

T. Nelson

I am a mother of a beautiful only girl. I struggle with "wanting" another but more for her sake than mine. I have a brother and I treasure our relationship. I just want her to have that too. But I know she will form friendships that will be just like that.
I love that it is just us and we can devote a lot of time to just her.
I love that we are done with diapers, potty training, and all that baby stuff.
Even though there is still stress, it is not so much.
My parents are older so having one allows me more flexibility to help my family when needed.
We can do more things, I don't feel as bad buying a little extra something or going to the circus or special trips.
College education - I feel we can easily afford this and have the time to save.
I don't have to feel split over my time between two kids.
:-)
I think society puts too much pressure on people to have more kids. I am one of the few of my friends who have onlys and everyone always tells me to have more and that I will regret it, etc. I am just happy with my little girl and it will stay that way.

We have no regrets with our one and only 15 yr old daughter. I knew during pregnancy that I was complete. We had that sense of completion from the beginning.

We love.....having a tight family unit where we talk to each other about anything and everything. We love...going on great vacations ( one of her friends always tags along), we love....having the house where all the kids (now teens) want to hang out because they are free to have fun but respect limits as well. We have enjoyed each stage of her life. We have been able to provide for her, give her all our attention and love.

We hate....letting go, teaching her to drive, but we LOVE seeing her independence, leadership in school, and how she has grown.

If given a choice to have a do over..............I would do over my exact situation, same daughter, same life.

I always wonder about why some people feel like they want more and some people do not. Does this mean that if you feel like you should have more, you should? I struggle with the same question. I think most of the reasons for "loving having only one in your life" are mostly about what the parents can handle.

I think that if you want that one on one time with your child, you still can have it with more than one child. I have two children and my husband and I will switch it up and I will take one and he will take the other and we will do special things with just one at a time to have that special time together.

I also think it depends on the first child. Some kids will be fine going through life with no siblings while others would not.

I remember when I just had one and it was very very nice to devote all my time to him.

I love knowing I'm not adding to the earth's population overload.

I love it that he gets all the attention when we're out, and doesn't have to share it with the baby.

I love it that I can plan wonderful travels with him when he gets a little older, and that I don't have to worry about hauling 2 kids around the globe.

I love it that we can focus our finances on just one child.

I love being able to give all my attention to just one little one.

There are tons of other reasons, but these popped to mind.

Hi R.,
You made me laugh the power outage, I think we notice more pregnancies when we want a baby, or at least that is what happened to me.
While I don't have only one child, it was long before I had my second one and my mom also had my sister when I was 18.
I really believe that there is a special connection between mom and son/daughter, specially when mom is a single mom I think.
I am going to have problem describing this because of my no so perfect English but I will try.
Even with all our lack of experience, and all the things my mom and I went through when we had our only child, it was a mix of strict parenting with friendship or partnership.
I love my little kid (baby #2) but there is special feeling towards my fist child, maybe because we went through so much together.
I have seen your post before and I know you are a strong, educated women. I am sure that if you haven't have another kid is because you are happy with your life as it is. It sounds like you and your boy have lots of fun and have a great relationship. Obviously having another kid is not bad but you seem pretty happy with what you have. I personally love the idea of taking your son to opera, waking him up to see the eclipse..or it was a comet? I forgot.
Btw, just in case (which I doubt) you are stopping yourself for having another baby because of difference or age (I don't know what age you are, so I am just guessing according what I have read from you, please don't take it wrong) I must say that in my family "ALL" the woman had a kid (all girls btw) in their late 40's. At one point I was going out with my mom, my little sister, my 3 aunts, their 3 girls and my girl, mine was the youngest but my sister and my girl cousins where only 2 and 3 year older then her. Only one was an accident, and one was adopted, my sister and my other cousin where very well planed.

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,###-###-##...

I hope this link works! I found this article from Time magazine. It really helped to calm my anxiety about having an only child. I was so worried that I was doing her a disservice by not giving her a sibling (yet, I couldn't justify having a second child just so she would have a sibling!).
What I love: having enough energy to really pay attention to her. Play with her, teach her, hug and kiss her. If I had another, I would be totally worn out and feel like I couldn't do as good a job.

Hi everyone,
I, too, am a mom of one very special delicious little girl. I had several miscarriages over the years and was finally blessed with Ariana. I asked god for one healthly little one and my wish came true. When did having one child become so negative?
My question to you is WHY do you want a second child? Is it because you don't want your 1st child to be lonely? Is it because you don't want to be lonely? Do you need a baby in the house (they do grow up)? I am asking these questions because I have friends who are considering another child and the reasons don't seem healthly, at least to me.

when my daughter was born, i felt certain that my heart was full and that there was no way i could ever love or care for another child the way i did her. When she was almost 2 i found out i was pregnant with my second, which wasn't exactly planned. I was terrified. I thought for sure i would have a child and he/she wouldn't be loved like the first. I thought for sure there was no way i would be able to take care of 2 children! oh, how i was wrong. Your heart makes room for all your children. I love my son soooo much, and they are so different. It took some getting used to but I wouldn't trade my 2 babies for anything. And really, the best part of having another, is watching them interact with each other. my son absolutely worships my duaghter. even when she torments him he still thinks she's wonderful.I know this may not last forever, but it fills me wit joy now. If you change your mind and decide to have more children, it is certainly a blessing.

I was a better mom before I had my 2nd. I had more energy, more interest in everything he enjoyed, and more time for just him. Before having my second, playing with toys several times a day was natural. I knew the names of all of his favorite characters and knew the scenarios of almost all of his shows. Now, I feel like I have to force myself to do those things because I'm soooo exhausted. Just the other day I took my first born to the grocery store alone... probably the first time in many years - I was amazed at how much I enjoyed the trip rather than loathing it and rushing through it. I love both of my children endlessly, but I loved my parenting skills more before my second was born!

We are a house of onlys and it couldnt be more perfect for us! I am an only child, my husband is an only child and my sweet little girl is an only child too. Yep she is an only of 2 onlys. :) We ca focus all our love on just her, we dont have to split our attention, deal with bickering, worry about who took whose whatever, sort out whose talling or telling the truth.

We dont have to cram 2 car seats in one back seat or pack as much when we go on trips. That means the dog can share the back seat with her and she can share her goldfish with the dog. :) Baby sitter, day care and summer camp all cost much less.So does going to the movies, the fair, out to dinner and just about everything.

I dont have to race around picking up after more than one, I dont have to figure out how to be at dance and football practice at the same time, or coorinadte whose school I am going to volunteer in.

Onlys really do have it best! :) At least we think so.

I craved a another baby for years. I couldn't let go of it. It wasn't hormonal. It was soul urge. But, I could not bear another child nor could I raise one more as a single mother. When my daughter told me she was pregnant the call to have another baby went away. Her son is that soul that was calling to me.
However, he is an only child with a part time half brother. He's an independent person. My only concern is if in later life he will be all alone for holidays and if his marriage doesn't work out if he will become a lonely single man.
Another of my grandsons is an only but he has cousins by the dozen his own age whom he sees.

Hi R. I don't have one, I have two that are 15 months apart. However, my favorite time with them is one on one. When I have both, I feel like pulling my hair aprt constantly, cause they both want your attention. They are so much better behaved, when they are one on one, because they get all of your attention. Two is what we can afford without degrading our lifestyle, but I can see instances of where if I did have one, I would certainly get them more trendy clothes and top noth childcare/preschool.
All of the only children I have met are some of the best behaved children as well.

Frankly I can't stand siblings arguing when they visit. I would REALLY hate playing referee all day, every day.
Also, we can stay at a hotel with a king bed and sofa and not pay extra.
We don't have to wait on some other kid.

I love riding on our trailer bike to the coffee shop and coloring in. painting on the porch, and lying in bed reading together. I also love not having my brain divided in any more directions than it already is!

oh thank you thank you. I too feel like I want another baby on MTW but on RFS I sure dont! if I am locial about it, I dont. If I think w/ my heart I do. grrrrrr.
right now I am SO happy, so blissfully head over heals in love w/ my DD. I dont want to share HER w/ another child. I think that sounds nuts but I just dont want to be divided. I want to give her my everything (yeah still trying not to spoil her that is not what I mean) and I wont be able to do that w/ a second one. reality of it I just wont. also I wont be able to put as much effort into it either. I spend a lot of time w/ her, we read, snuggle, play and explore all the time. we are not rushed, we have no pressures and we can do wahat she enjoys/what makes her happy. I cant do that if I have another.
also having a sibling does not mean they will be BFF, I love my sis of course but we are not BFF, we are nice to each other (now LOL) but that is that. you can find a BFF in the world not in a sibling. I also...dare I say it...did not love the baby days. she was not easy and honestly still is not, but that is great she is still perfect and I love her. I just dont want to deal w/ a lot of the baby things that were so hard as that would take time away from my DD....and new baby.
but will I have an only......time will tell........

I use to feel that way until my 2nd was born... my oldest is 15 and youngest is 1 (just turned 1 - 8/14). I was not too happy about being pregnant with the 2nd one because in 3-4 years my oldest would be done with school, soccer and basketball practice, etc and i would have more time for myself... I WOULD NOT change it now ... i rushed my 1st ... cant wait for her to walk, cant wait for her to get older to get "big girl" clothes, etc. So with my son i am enjoying every day with him and cherising those moments. I did and still do cherish my 1st and all of her moments because she is my 1st but i have learned to enjoy the time a lot more when they are younger because once they are get older they have their own life. but that is part of it them growing up ... so i did feel the same way but now i couldnt imagine life without my kids! (ps ... tubes are tied now ... lol)

I'm an only child and swore I would have 4-6 kids so my kids would have siblings. It's great when you are young but now that i'm 43, I only have my mom. Everyone else has died. When she's gone it will only be me. I know you asked from a moms standpoint, but thought I'd let you know how it feels to be an only child as an adult. Good luck with your decisions.

I'm a mom of one wonderful boy and I love it. We do so many things that family of four and more can't do. Here is an article that might answer some of your questions:
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,###-###-##...

No!!No!! You are wrong! I so want to have one more at least!!