Going to the Grocery Store

I also have a 2 year old daughter who doesn't like to stay close. Where can I find one of these "leashes"?

You are not alone out there. Well for your son there is something called a sling that will go over your shoulder and your son will be close to you and it will keep your hands free. And for your daughter you need to be stern tell her right there that running away from you in the store is dangerus and you need dicipline her right there TimeOut is a good idea but as I have learned if kids keep acting out you need to try a new punishment if you us the same punishment each time your child will get to know how your going to disaplen him/her and that was comming from my own child he's 10 now ...

For my 2 year old, I put him in the cart and when remind him 50 times that you have to be good or you won't get any gum. When we are done, he picks out a pack of gum and I let him open it while I pay. It works every time. As soon as he acts up I tell him to be good if you want gum and he shapes up right away.
Maybe your daughter could have her favorite treat if she is good.

I can only suggest sitting her down before hand and explaining to her that her actions in the store will cause reactions afterwards. Even though she is only 2, I bet it will only take a couple of times to the store and her acting disrespectful and being punished on getting home, for her to put it together.

She sounds like an absolutely normal 2 year old. I used to think these things were awful, but with 3 children and one being 2 now, it is a wonderful tool when needed...a toddler leash. My 2 year old loves hers...it's a backpack in the shape of a puppy with a pocket for whatever she would like to carry along. It clips around her tummy and chest and then the puppy's tail is the 'leash'. It has a loop on the end so I can slip my hand through it and just have it on my wrist so my hand is free. This is one option. Otherwise, have you thought of changing anything concerning your shopping schedule? Is there someone who can watch your children while you shop? Or just one? Another time of day? Or evening? I know you like the walk and being outdoors with them, but you can do that whether the purpose is for a grocery trip or not. I know this time can be so frustrating, but it will get better.

Hi S.
I know some people think that it is wrong but I used a harness with a clip-on teather for my boy when he was that age. I was concerned about his safety at certain times and so I carried it with me. I didn't need it for very long. I didn't make it a punishment, I explained that it was to keep him safe and close to mommy. I told him that when he was able to stay with me without wandering away, we would not need it anymore. Your daughter is very young and I don't believe she will always stay by your side. If she sees something that is exciting to her she will probably leave you, but with some boundary (the length of the teather) she will know she has gone far enough. They also make a wrist teather with velcro.

I don't agree with you about not being able to give her a timeout in the grocery store. She is only two, so it is possible to have her sit on an end cap or even the floor out of the way of traffic for two minutes. You and the baby would be within eyesight all the time, of course. You could even bring a towel (the naughty towel ;)) and tell her that if she runs away she will have a time out on the towel in the store. I believe I would do this type of training when I really didn't need too much from the store so I could really concentrate on helping my girl through this.

Since she likes to help, I am sure that once she makes the connection that it is a big help to mommy when she is right by your side and only leaves when mommy sends her for something, she will do just that. This takes work on your part and tons of patience. She will get it, though.

I hope this has been helpful.
K.

Hi S.,

Some posts have recommended slings/carriers. I just want to say that for little babies, consider the moby wrap (you can get it online if they don't have them for sale in Europe). We tried several slings for babies before finding this one and it is worth it's weight in gold because you can hold your baby in it and have both hands completely free and he will be completely secure. It is basically a huge long piece of slightly stretchy cloth that you wrap in different configurations to hold him in whatever position works best for both of you. They cost about $40, but with the weak dollar, it will really be competitively priced for you! You might even be able to make one. Google Moby Wrap to see how they work. Best wishes!

My daughter is 2 also, and her listening is a BIG issue. It's a part of the age and wanting to be big doing her own thing. When ever I'm in public I always make it a point to ALWAYS have her hold my hand, she hates it but it does get my point across. The instant I let her roam free without a hand, is when she dosn't listen or runs off. I think once you give them that freedom is when they usually act out. A possibly suggestion is to put your son in a car carrier, most typical carts can attach to the top of the cart of where kids would sit. Then you can put your daughter in the bigger part of the cart, and she could still help getting stuff she could reach. Hope that helps!

we let my daughter pick out one item at the store. a cheap item. If she changes her mind later, I let her put one back to get the new one. If she's naughty, she doesn't get the thing she wants. "oh oh, do we need to put it back?"

Your kids are the same spacing apart as mine --daughter born in June and son born in December the next year! Well, as you've discovered, dealing with 2 kids, especially a nearly 2 year old, is way harder than one, especially on errands. My best advice is get a double stroller. They are a god send. I cannot even imagine doing errands w/o one. I like to walk to the grocery store when it's warm too, and I keep the kids in a double stroller. There isn't a place I go--post office, park, store, church, walks--that I don't take it. It is the best investment I've ever made. If that's not an option for you, though, try parking your stroller at the door and using a cart--one child in front, one in back. I've done that too. You can even chain your stroller up like a bike if you're worried about it. But 2 is just too young to expect a child to stay by you with so much fun stuff to touch nearby. The good news is, they make great strides by 2 1/2 in terms of listening to you and staying by you. But until then, see if you can borrow, buy 2nd hand, or buy new a double stroller. You will feel like you have a new lease on life! (And don't budge if your 2 year old fusses, cries, squirms, or cries the first few times she has to be in it. The change may be hard for her at first, but kids adjust fast and soon she will be used to it.) Best of luck!

put your son in a sling or snugli so that you can put her in the cart.
can you go to the store without her. I try and do most of my shopping in the evening while dh can stay home with them.or maybe see if there an tween/teen you could hire as a mother's helper to chase after her.
get a harness so that she can't take off.
I hope you find soemthign that works. I too am having problems with my youngest 2 running off. so I understand.

ITA the wrap and the leash.

I dont do slings or pouches or snugglies or bjorns myself because they are really hard on my back. The Moby Wrap or any wrap really is great. My 1 year old lived in her wrap for the first several months until she became to big for it. The only thing about a stretch wrap like a Moby is that they are good until around 15 lbs or so, thats when the stretch in the wrap starts to give a little "too much" for the weight of the baby. Another good wrap choice is a Gypsy Mama. They have very pretty fabrics. When your son gets old enough to froggy his legs, you should definately get a buckle carrier like an Ergo or a Beco or an Angel Pack. This way you can throw him on your back while you are shopping and makes things work so much easier when you have to bend down to get something. The buckle carriers are also great when you have work to get done around the house and the baby just doesnt want to be put down! The only thing I would say is that Ergos are good for smaller, shorter babies because of the the length of the body, where as Angel Pack and Becos have longer bodies. Well plus the last two have REALLY pretty fabrics!

Here are some links for you for the carriers

http://www.becobabycarrier.com/ Beco Buckle Carrier
http://www.gypsymama.com/shop/index.htm Gypsy Mama Wraps
http://www.mobywrap.com/ Moby Wrap
http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/ Ergo Buckle Carrier
http://www.angelpack.com/ Angel Pack LX Carrier

As for the leash/harness, my oldest daughter, now 4 used to run away from me All.The.Time. I bought a leash from Babys R Us, though I have seen them at Walmart and Target as well. I never even had to use it. I strapped it on her one time and she knew after that, she did not like it. All I had to do was threaten her that I would use it and she would stay with me the rest of the trip.

HTHs

Either put your son in a sling/snugli or put your daughter in a backpack - tell her that when she can listen to mommy, she won't have to be in it. And, you can do time-outs in a store! It may inconvenience other shoppers some with the screaming but I figure kids will be paying their social security in 20 years and they'd rather the kids were responsible citizens at that point and should be willing to help out/put up w/ getting the kids to be good citizens! We've always used the "naughty square" because there are squares (tile, concrete, etc.) everywhere you go. I liked the idea of the "naught towel." Just seeing it might remind her to listen.

Unfortuately since you have to go with a stroller the other alternative is to get a stroller that fits both children. It is very hard to get a 2 year old to cooperate during a shopping trip, she knows you are focusing on shopping and her brother so she is going to test the limits. I put my children in time out many times in the middle of a grocery store. I would give her a warning and explain she has to stay with you to stay SAFE! If she ignores you then sit her down and tell her she is in time out for not listening.
The other alternative is have someone watch your children so you can go or when your husband is around. Here in the states as you know they have carts that accomodate multiple children with straps to prevent this until the child understands consequences of running off. My son who is 3 now knows if he wants to walk he has to stay with me.