I"m so sorry your daughter has been on a waiting list for so very long. This should not happen. The problem almost always is lack of leaders. I've been one for four years, starting our fifth this Friday, and have found it very, very rewarding for me and for my daughter. I didn't want to be leader either but the situation was: Troops were full, and there were seven girls waiting to get in; if someone didn't step up and lead a troop those girls would do without GS or have to find other troops elsewhere (more on finding troops below).
Who keeps this "list" your daughter is on? Is your girl on a waiting list with a school coordinator (if you're wanting to put her into a troop based at her school)? A list with a "service unit" which is the larger geographic area? A list with your Girl Scout Council, which covers an even larger area? Or just a list kept by one individual leader who tells you she is waiting for an opening in her particular troop? If you're waiting on one leader -- find another leader and another troop. You are not limited to one particular troop or location! The council can help you, as can the service unit (which you find through your council). You do not have to have your child in the troop that meets "at school, after school" as many troops do; that arrangement is convenient for everyone but is NOT a requirement. Please check further and see what troops are in your area. Go to www.girlscouts.org/councilfinder to locate your council for the Richmond area and contact them, and tell them that your daughter has been eagerly waiting to join a troop for two years and you want to find a troop for this fall! But please realize --leaders do have the ability to decide if a troop is full; some leaders can handle only 10 girls, others are fine with a troop of 20, but it's up to the leader so they don't get overwhelmed. No one likes to turn a girl away, but the real need is -- more leaders.
I was in GS for about eight years growing up (our area didn't really have troops beyond about age 14, unfortunately) and my daughter is starting her fifth year. Troops can be very, very active or mellow; very focused on badges (not a good thing) or focused more on earning badges as a route toward doing certain fun activities; very camping-oriented or not; super-crafty or less crafty and more physically active or some combination -- it is all down to what the leaders want and most importantly to what the girls want. GS is changing lately, with a new emphasis on building leadership skills in girls, and I am still finding out what that means for programming. But ultimately the leaders and girls have had a huge amount of leeway to decide what they want to do and how they want to do it.
As for meetings in someone's living room -- my house wouldn't have the space for the games we play, or all the table space for the crafts we do, and it isn't next to a park for outdoor activities like our meeting space (at a school) is!