Gifted Child

Dear S.,

This sounds familiar. Yes, school will be a challenge. He will be academically ahead of his peer group, but from an emotional, social and physical development standpoint he will probably be as varied in levels as everyone else.

I went to my school district and had him tested (this is free) so I could know what I was dealing with in terms of intellectual abilities. He is considered gifted and in the 97-99 percentile in reading and math skills.

However, he is all 5 year old boy so he needs to be around, playing with and make friends with his peers. We have decided to homeschool, I know the choice isn't for everyone and needs to be carefully considered. But my son is having issues in his gifted class because he seems to be bored, etc.

The team of "experts" that reviewed his case suggested that we find a gifted program that will continually challenge him. Since I could not find one in a reasonable driving distance and I work from home - - we are choosing to home school.

Hope this helps.

CJ - mother of a terrific boy and mfg. of the Royal NapMat (http://www.royalnapmat.com)

You may want to look into Montessori method pre-schools. My daughter attended one. They tend to be a bit more academic and do a lot of things to develop fine motor and gross motor skills. They won't hold him back, especially if he is reading. They may have a mixed age class--there would be older children in the class as well-- if he's advanced that would be good for him.
I don't know where you live, but in Bergen County NJ there is the "Gifted Child Society". They have many Saturday courses (including ones for 3 year olds) and even a summer camp. He would be challenged and would meet other children his age that are also gifted. If you don't live in NJ call them anyway, they may have other locations or know of similar programs and can give you advice (they are very nice). www.gifted.org
As far as skipping a grade, this is often up to the school district or even the individual principal in our public school system. Call and find out if they have a policy regarding it or if he can get tested beforehand. All of our public schools here have "enrichment", which is the gifted program. They may just pull him out for a period 1x or 2x a week for special reading and work. Depends on the school when they start this.
If you know what grammar school he'll be attending, you can try and develop a friendly relationship with the principal prior to sending him to school. (Hopefully they'll be open to this-our principal is). A good tact is to ask the educators what you can be doing at home with him. If you feel he's not getting enough when he enters the school system push, but nicely. Being your child's advocate is very hard, parents sometimes are overly agressive and it backfires on them.
You mentioned Spanish class-maybe have him take a pre-K language class--my friend is doing this with her incredibly bright child. She even hired a Spanish speaking babysitter. Or perhaps a pre-school that teaches a 2nd language.
Socialization is really important with these kids. Often they tend to miss social cues and also have different interests then their peers. Do plenty of playdates and playground time. Make sure he's around kids his own age for play (even if he is smarter).
Also, with reading-- he might be able to read really well, but does he understand/comprehend what he is reading?? Talk to him about the stories, ask him what he thinks will happen next etc. Have him make up his own endings.
I am not an educator, but I'm just passing on what I've learned over the last couple of years with my own child.

Hey S.! I read your post and this struck close to home for me. Not because I have a child similar to your son (I do have a 3 year old boy), but rather, as a special education teacher I encountered a few children that possessed skills that were above average. The children that I dealt with had an IQ in the "superior range," but they seemed to excell in one or two areas...
Here are a few thoughts that popped into my head. First, (please understand, I am speaking from my experiences ONLY) the children that I taught lacked social skills. They were very smart, but could not interact with their peers whatsoever. They were so concerned about being challenged, they were unsure of what it was like to act and be like a child their own age. We had to role play a lot of social situations and teach them how to act. I'm not sure if your son falls into this category or not. I don't think it was mentioned. If this were to be the case, preschool might be an excellent place for him. My son goes to preschool right now and it amazes me how much he has grown socially in one year.
My son also knows a lot of what has been introduced in the preschool curriculum. The benefits I see as a Mom are: it forces him to learn to take direction from oter people (aside from me...I sat at home with him). It also, allows him to leave his comfort zone and meet new friends and interact with new people. Lastly, he now understands it's ok to leave me for short durations of time and know that I will be by to get him later. The growth I've seen is so much more than the "academics" presented...
If I were you, I'd contact your local preschool representative and ask for suggestions on how to best meet the needs of your child. Also, I would for sure find a network of parents who can relate to your experiences. I think they will be your best support. I started looking on-line for sites that might be helpful. I will go through some of my notes to see if I have any good sites for you to refer to. I've listed a few sites that might help get you started!! Good luck!!
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/learning/gifted_child...
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/on-line_support.htm
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/on-line_support.htm
http://www.ri.net/gifted_talented/parents.html
http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content/parents.gifted...
http://www.uniquelygifted.org/
http://www.helium.com/items/265095-guide-to-support-group...

My son is also 3 and we are looking for a good preschool. We are on a wait list for a Montessori school--I want a program that has a lot of hands on activities rather than "academics". I do think kids need the social and emotional skills. I had a good friend who tested with same number on an IQ test as I did and the difference between getting into the district's Gifted program was social skills as assessed in 3rd grade!(We never knew the actual IQ numbers until we were 21 and could get our school records). My son seems bright but isn't reading or doing any formal academics. My husband was reading at or before 3 and so were some of our friends. My husband's parents sent him and his brother to a Waldorf inspired private school for elementery but had to borrow money from the grandparents to do it. When they moved from a city to a smaller town and had no option but public high school it wasn't a good adjustment and the bordom and minor defiant behavior may have gotten in the way of him having a good college expereince. I went to a very different public school--it was well funded and had a pull out program for gifted kids and lots of AP classes in High School. I was challenged in the honors classes and borded in the non-honors ones. Also, by the end of high school I was turned off by some of the academic competativeness (even if I started college with more than a semester's worth of credits). My friend who went to a similar public school in another state and was also gifted (and reading at 3) and felt she had a miserable time socially to the point she is considering homeschooling her son. I plan to send my kids to public school (they are reasonably good in our area) partly because I think it can teach a very bright child certian specific social skills for getting along in a group with peers of all abilities. I still remember my mom lecturing me that yes, I might be smarter than my teacher but I still had to treat her with respect (I was in 4th grade). If I were going to give you advise I would say teach him strong ethics and leadership skills and how to persue his intellectual interests on his own. Also, you might want to read the book _Hothouse Kids_. The author interviews many former gifted children as adults and tried to figure out why some turned out happy and successful and others unhappy or burnt out. I believe this book also lists many resources for gifted children and their parents.

I agree - homeschooling might be the way to go with him!! I've been looking into Calvert School (a homeschool program), and I'm LOVING it. The advantage would be that you can go as fast as he can, and when the day's work is done, so is he - no waiting for bells!

The other thing about Calvert is that the course comes with everything - manipulatives, books, lesson plans, craft supplies. I think the only thing you supply is the desk!

I had/have a very similar thing with my now 5 year old son. He came home from his first day in a 2's program (he was born 7/17/03 so he was barely 2) and said "mommy the kids don't talk". When I went looking for a program for 3-4 year olds I couldn't find anything that I thought was going to challange or at least not bore him.
My suggestion would be to look for a good Montessori school near you. One that offers pre-school will have 3-5 year olds in the same classroom (maybe even some older kids) and one of the beauties of the program is that kids are introduced to "works" as they are ready so each child progresses at their own pace. If you can't find a Montesssori, look for a Waldorf school or call your elementary school and ask if they have any suggestions.

Oh and beware because my second son (3 yrs) is not far behind. Hubby and I figure we've got 1 maybe 2 more years before we're unable to help them with homework:)

Regardless, take a breath and observe with awe what they are capable of and how fast the grow and change. I don't dare blink most days for fear of missing something!

Good luck!
K. (working mother of 2 boys who turn 6 and 4 this summer)

Hi S.
I am so excited to talk to you.
My boys were smart like that. By the time our younger boy went to K, he could read the newspaper. Public school was difficult because they must teach to the majority. They actually told me that they would hold him back til the other kids caught up. They also did not believe me when I said he could read so he was labeled a brat when he would go to the front of the class and slap a 4 or whatever on the board. Finally, we sent him to private school which had a program where they learned at their own pace. OK so he was tested upon entering. Normally they wait til a child misses 3 problems in the grade level and that was the material they put him in. Our son had just finished public school K, long story, but the testing was done and he finally got one wrong at the 5th grade level. They called the administrator, and then the curriculum people about what to do. They decided to start him at that 5th grade level because of his surrounding knowledge. His first grade year he finished grades 5,6,&7 grades. Today he is a lawyer, writing contracts for the US government because he is excellent at fine line definitions, and closing loop holes.
It is fun to have children that can do anything they choose because they are smart enough. When he was in 8th grade he had a head injury. We took him to the MD, who after assessing said it is much more difficult to raise an intelligent child, and you have challenged him well. He claimed as he recovered that he only read half as fast as he used to. He then read a book in the time it took me to read a chapter.
Now having heard some of my story: I want to make a few suggestions that I wish someone had told me. Homeschool, yes you can. There is so much material out there. Some distance learning is also available but expensive. Homeschooling doesn't have to be expensive. You will be so much more satisfied. Start now. Find where his level is and begin. Do full curriculum not just those things he loves. Take advantage of any opportunities around you. We took full advantage of 4H especially their public speaking project, art classes at the museum, music lessons at the local music college, reading classes at the teacher's college. We used our library --- chess club happened there for a few years.
What your ___ grader needs to know-- might tell you some of where you are at. Alpha Omega is good homeschool material. Start now without reporting to school. There are tests to give to see what levels your children are at. Try it. I had so much trouble with the public school, because there were no gifted programs. Even if there were your son sounds like he would still not fit. Boredom in the system was our biggest problem. We did CAT tests every year. Check them out at Thurber Assessments in NC, I think.
SAT's can be taken any time. you just pay the price. College classes can be taken at 16, you just have to pay the price. My girls not near as smart as my boys started taking one course each semester as soon as they hit 16, therefore had college credits before entrance.
Please let me help you. I am a wealth of useful knowledge because of experience. OK so I probably am old enough to be your mom, but been there.
God bless you and your lovely family
K. SAHM married 38 years --- adult children 37, coach; 33, lawyer, married with son; twin girls 18, in college after homeschooling, one is a fine arts major, 3.7 GPA, and just won a drawing scholarship award for next year; the other is a journalism major, 3.8 GPA, who was just named Outstanding Student of the Year. Both are in state colleges, they are on campus, and commuting respectively.

I would really look into the possibility of homeschooling if at all possible. I homeschool my son who is gifted but has dyslexia. I have met so many awesome people who homeschool and they have such bright and lovely children and really thrive in the environment. In particular my friend has twin girls who she had tested through Mensa at age 5 and uses various online curriculum and is really happy with it.
http://www.previous.us.mensa.org/activities/giftedchildre...

http://www.commongroundcommonsense.org/forums/lofiversion...

Homeschooling for my son age 11 allows him to work on his academics at different levels and so he may be 7th grade for Sci and history but on 5th grade for language arts etc. Also he enjoys playing with a variety of age groups. His friends range from 8 - 12 in the social group we belong to. He is has freedom to express himself with out a lot of peer pressure.

At this point I recommend is to continue follow his lead. Follow his passions as you have done and if a school environment is not suitable yet do small extracurricular activities that have multi age groups. Park systems like our in Monmouth county have great programs. There are theater shows, libraries. Look beyond your local library there are other town you can go to for programs too.
Most of all HAVE FUN he is only a baby for a short time:)!

As a Kindergarten teacher, I feel the worst thing you can do is have him skip grades at this age. He NEEDS to be with his age peers. It is up to the school and teachers (and you!) to enrich his curriculum. In my opinion, it's up you to find a pre school that will do that.
Best of luck and keep him challenged!!

I'm not sure where you live, but if you are near Ocean/Monmouth counties, Lakewood Prep is an excellent private school. (I think the name recently changed and I am not sure what the new name is, but it's on the Lakewood/Howell border.)

My son was gifted and our public school offered no gifted and talented classes until third grade. Also, they sort of treated it like a health issue--'most kids level off by third grade'. WHAT? Does that mean that they 'recover' from being smart?! Y

You really have to advocate for him, look for challenging programs, and don't let kids who are mediocre make him feel like he needs to apologize for his intelligence. My son got very restless in school as he got older, and we really had to watch closely to be sure that he was given stimulating and challenging material.

I work in special ed and would never, ever deny those children what they need. However, when school districts pay $50,000 a year for out-of-district placements such as the one in which I work, they should 'even up' and put some money toward recognizing the potential of children such as yours. Unfortunately, that's often not the case.

My son was just like your son at 3. The freaky memory thing is a strange coincidence! He's now 5 and the best thing I did was start him in private/catholic school. Their cirriculum seems to be more intense than my local public school. He reads a few grades above his and his math skills are exceptional. So we asked the teacher if he was ready to be skipped a grade. She said it is a little bit too early (kindergarden) so we're going to wait a year or two to ask again. Look into your local private schools and see what's out there. Good luck!

My 5 year old was the same way, and I had the same concerns. I wanted to put him in a private school, or somewhere that would stimulate him to his needs. I talked about having him tested for kindergarten early. My husband was opposed, citing that as he grew, he would then be the smallest in his class, be picked on and less able to compete on the playground and gym classes. He was concerned about his emotional development.

After much debate I caved, and found the best preschool I could and enrolled him. What I found is that he quickly gravitated towards the little girl in the class who was of similar abilities as he was. It was a perfect friendship because they both were very talkative and mature for their age. Everyone at the school pointed it out. What I also saw is that my son became friends with another boy who was from a dual language home who was having difficulty communicating. As time went on, my son learned to be considerate of others, and the little boy learned to speak English better than he had before.

Don't worry too much...kids find their own ways to learn, no matter what environment they are in.

Check into many schools and get as much info as possible. Kids today are doing amazing things!
At our preschool we have what we call a Kindergarten Prep class and all the kids in the class are above what we would teach in a regular 4 year old class. And we also believe in a lot of learn through play and hands on activities. So, it helps develop all areas that a child would need to go onto the next level.
Ask about projects and free time and how they do this. Our kids do a hands on creative project every day. Some are free projects and some are guided by a theme for the month. All self colored, cut, glued, painted etc. It takes about 1/2 hr but the kids love it and it helps them with so many important things...and mostly creativity!
I don't know your area but it would be well worth checking deeper into how the school runs it programs.
My son is much the same as yours. He is in 1st grade reading at a 4 grade level, knows every part of the human body, can explain in depth things and he happens to have an amazing teacher who set up an enrichment program for him even though it doesn't actually start until 3rd grade. He does his homework in 25 mins and he is doing extra 2nd grade work on top of his regular homework.
We buy him workbooks at home and he goes through them like crazy. he watched the science channel, discovery channel etc before cartoons. He is also very creative!!! He loves to draw, paint, make up stories and design things so we let him have free rein on that too so he constantly develops in everything he needs to...be prepared to be your own child's advocate because no one else will be. Fight for what you want and he needs and if they can;t give it to you buy workbooks and such so he can work on extra things at home.
Good luck!!

You are not exaggerating... I am a school psychologist and would agree with your assertion regarding his cognitive skills. Just some thoughts...

1. A good preschool does not focus on teaching academic skills, but school readiness skills. You want to look for a program that teaches learning behaviors, not specific academic skills. I work with an excellent Kindergarten teacher and this something that she pointed out to me. Preschool is NOT about learning to read and write- leave that one for the K-12 program. Preschool is about learning to interact with peers, negotiate social situations, working cooperatively and following a routine.

2. Do not request an evaluation through the school district for several reasons. First, New York State does not recognize giftedness as a classification for specialized instruction. Second, before entering school children are evaluated for remediation and early intervention only. Asking for an evaluation at this time would likely be denied b/c your son is not developmentally delayed. Once he enters school the model is similar. These evaluations are extensive and will not result in school support. You can have him evaluated privately, but I would not do so until after the age of 8.

*SCHOOL TESTING IS NOT A FREE SERVICE. YOUR TAXES PAY FOR IT AND IT HAS A PURPOSE- IDENTIFYING CHILDREN WHO ARE IN NEED OF SPECIAL EDUCATION SUPPORT.*

3. Skipping a grade level does not work! Your son may be intellectually advanced, but socially and developmentally being "young" for his grade will hurt him in the future. Think of it in 10 years... everyone will be dating and driving and your son will be 13 or 14.

Also keep in mind that your son is advanced for his age in the area of language arts, but as he enters school teachers will need to differentiate for him and you will need to advocate for him.

I'm not sure where you live specifically, but if you are in the Dutchess/Ulster county area I would be happy to give you names of programs in this area.

Hey S.,

I also went through the same thing with my son who is now 24. I would not suggest skipping grades because there are other factors to consider like emotional maturity etc. Once my son entered school he was tested in first grade and put in a gifted and talented program with advanced classes and he did well. Most boys are not as mature as girls and need to develop their emotional maturity as well as their academic. By the time my son reached 8th grade he just wanted to feel normal (is what he called it) and be with his friends so the advanced classes became more of a chore then enjoyable for him. He could do the work with no problem but he just burned out and wanted to enjoy the more social part of school with sports etc. I also own and run a Montessori preschool which may be a good fit for him. It is a different philosophy of learning where children can advance and are not grouped by age. This allows them to advance at their own pace and by their own ability. I have had many children who were very advanced and did not show any signs of boredom. My daughter also had a friend who went all through school with her he actually scored perfect of his SAT's he is brilliant but his mom (also a teacher) never advanced him and he was fine. You can always talk with his teachers and ask for some more advanced work and keep him challenged while still allowing him to be with children his age. Good luck!!!

Dear S.,

Yes, your child does sound 'gifted' academically. You need to recognize this, and give him adequate challenges, or you may land up hurting him! I'm not being dramatic...I also have two kids who...though I won't go so far as to say 'gifted', are definitely far above their peers academically.
You should Google 'Gifted education' and read the vast literature. Check this site too http://www.kidsource.com/gifted.calendar.html

K.

Hi S.,
Skipping grades is not encouraged - whatever the academic abilities of the child, older kids are more mature and not their peers. Younger kids may lack the maturity physically and emotionally to cope with older groups and the expectations, even if they can manage the academics. From what you've described, your son is doing certain things that are not covered until first grade in public schools (geometric shapes like octagon and pentagon not until 2nd grade) - I work in an elementary school. I would have him tested for gifted/talented at the age that it's done, and see whether your public school has options for gifted/talented. With the budgetary cutbacks, many school districts do not! If your finances afford it, you might look into various private school options or consider home schooling.
Good luck!

S.,

Your son sounds amazing, congratulations. You've gotten lots of great advice, and I don't have too much to add to it, except to agree that skipping a grade is not always a good option. My husband skipped and he is dead set against it. He says it ruined his school career because socially he was behind the other kids.

My husband ended up having behavioral problems in school because he was bored and irritated by teachers he knew he was smarter than.

Keep your son challenged. I hope you can find a gifted program in your area.

Good luck,
R.

Hi S.-
How exciting for you!!! It's so wonderful to have a gifted child!! Congratulations!! And how nice that you are so sensitive to those around you!

A lot of goood feedback here so I won't repeat but do want to emphasize the social development aspect. Anything that causes a child to feel different from his/her peers means you have to work even harder to address that social development. My best friend has CF. She's 37 now thank god, but I didn't even realize what that meant until I was well into my 20's due to the way they handled the social development. She not only adjusted socially but triumphed in every way- she even climbed monchu peechu (yes I'm getting the spelling wrong- I'm NOT gifted LOL!!) the point is, feeling accepted for differences is just as important as addressing the difference itself.

In this case, being smart is a great thing, so the message to your child may inadvertently be that everything should be great for him, when in fact being different, no matter what the cause, won't feel that way to him.

However your sensitivity to others implies a pre-existing humility- that's more important than all the best schools in the world. How wonderful to hear from you!! And how wonderful for your son that he has someone like you to guide his path!!

I have a child who started reading at 3. Although it sounds like your child may be more gifted. We traveled a lot during that time and my oldest was in 3 different schools in one year--militarty familiy. I think your lil boy is amazing. I would love more information about his development--when I get pregnant again :)
I did not put much in front of my children--I am sure I would for the next one. I think your lil boy should be on Oprah...They always seem to know how to point gifted children in the right direction. If you can get him into some good classes he could be tested and they can give you the right steps. Also ask your ped if he has any info. Good luck--you have invested in the most important person in your life--I would be very proud.

It certainly sounds like he has the academics down pat. I would consider looking into a Waldorf/Rudolph Steiner school. They focus on play and building the imagination through daily rhythms, circle time, songs, finger knitting, puppet shows etc. They do not teach reading or public school kindergarten readiness, but focus on the other side of the brain. I think the greatest concern for a gifted child is making sure he or she is well grounded and does not skip the crucial stage of childhood involving fantasy play and imagination. Good luck to you and your fabulous child!

not sure, somewhere private of course, for regualr schooling as well. check out montessori schools. also, make sure that wherever you put him, there is lots of socialization. many gifted and talented children lack in the social skills dept. and that will hurt them as they go through life and of course school. find a plygroup as well, go to the park. gethim around other kids just to have fun!

Hi S. -

You don't sound like you're bragging - just in awe. I think that's great.
Each one of my kids were singled out by schools (in various states, too). They are all older now, so often look back and see the different approaches and outcomes.
For any kid, I think nurturing the LOVE of learning is the most important thing with academics. That takes them alot farther. Learning covers a big area. These little ones are putting together all different kinds of concepts about life. Telling them they are amazing or excellent in an accomplishment can set them up. They can often feel that is what is expected in EVERYTHING they do. I've yet to meet anyone that excels in all corners of being a healthy person. Adding that kind of pressure can hold a child back from trying new things, such as new sports or joining a new group of friends, because they're afraid of not being the best.
I'm very much for offering the best education possible at home and at school; and showing how special it is to be an individual. I say love them for who they are.

S.,
You pretty much discribed my son to a T. In kindergarten he was reading at a 4th grade level and the principal called me a lier until I made her test him and proved to her that I was right; let me tell you she lookeed like the total fool that she is. My son just turned 13 and let me tell you dealing with the school system here has been a royal challenge. This year we were lucky enough to get him into a magnet school in another town which is much more challenging. They tested him, keep in mind he is in 7th grade, he tested at a college level. Everyone is supposed to have 1 - 2 hours of homework every night, Justin does his in 15 - 20 minutes if that. They won't jump him up a grade because emotionally he would be behind and would not fit in with the other kids, yet he doesn't exactly fit in now except when they need help with an assignment. Every project he does is so advanced and the teachers keep them for future classes. The 3-D cell and life size skeleton are a few examples of what he has done in science, I took pictures as they were so cool.

From what I have been told the school systems are only required by law to go as fast as the slowest child in the class and this is all due to the "No Child Left Behind". Kids like ours are getting burned because in essence they too are being left behind by not being challenged. I have had teachers tell me to put him in a private school which not for anything costs as much as private colleges here in Connecticut, and this we cannot do as we have 5 children and 1 income, plus 2 of our children and myself are in college. Another suggestion was that we homeschool our son and challenge him, but we want him to have the exposure of other children. Once he gets into high school he can take all Advanced Placement classes, but until then I feel elementary and middle school was a waste of time. So I guess unless someone comes up with another solution kids like ours are going to be held back and not challenged at school at least.

By the way you were not bragging, you have a right to be proud of your son.

Hugs,
T.

Finally someone like me! (big smile) I can so identify and the best advice I can give to you is to not completely rely on the school system. Teach him on the side to further his knowledge and keep him interested in learning. I find that the gifted aren't recongnized until it's too late. I don't know what your schools are like, but none of ours have a gifted program until 3rd or 6th grade. They won't even reconize the gifted at an early age. My public school would not even register our son when he was ready for school, because he missed the cut-off by 21 days! We wound up cutting a "deal" with the local catholic school. The deal was if he passed their test, he could go to school...if not, I'd back off. Guess what? He more than passed the test, so they told us they had to take him or he would be a problem later on. They were afraid he'd get bored and be too advanced the next year.

So how is he doing now that he is 10 years old? Great! High honors in middle school. He's in 5th and 8th grade. He's in 5th grade for all his classes except math. For math, he has 8th grade honors algebra. He is also a freshman in college during the summer. He just started last year taking Applied Algebraic Methods. (Yes, he was a 9 year old in a class of college freshman and they loved it...The students had him tutor them when they didn't understand the teacher.) He'll be taking statistics this summer. Now our hurtle is to get him tested in the rest of the subjects to bring him up closer to his math level, since he will be in high school for math next year.

Always let a gifted student fly. Do not clip their wings.

When my son (now in fifth grade) was 2 1/2 he taught himself to read and has always been ahead of the curve. For preschool, we sent him to our local parochial school because it had all-day pre-K. While his classmates in pre-K were not on his level, I think that in most cases pre-K is really more about structure and learning how to behave in a classroom. We lived in NYC he was in a gifted and talented program which he entered for kindergarten. If you live in NYC or some other place that has a gifted program, you will need to have him tested (in NYC you must apply the fall before your child is due to enter kindergarten) and they will then place him. Contact your school district office to find out how to get an application. The public school gifted program my son attended was wonderful and since he is an only child, the social interaction with his age and intellectual peers was very important. You can challenge him at home with math, reading and puzzles. Take him to museums, the library, the zoo - anything that opens a dialogue. You will find yourself learning lots of things, too (my husband and I did). I don't know about home schooling - we did not do it. I will say that I believe peer interaction is terribly important to a child's development, and if you decide to home school your son, please keep that in mind.
We moved out of NYC last year and my son is in a school district that has a gifted enrichment program (a few classes a week) rather than a dedicated gifted program - all day all the time and I do wish we had the same program available here that we had in NYC.
Whatever you do, enjoy your son - time passes so quickly and they grow up so fast. Good luck!

You have recieved some interesting and often conflicting advice (and you will continue to get this kind of advice for many years). I am a gifted/talented teacher with a 4 year old son in a very similar situation. There is the option of early entrance to kindergarten, but I very rarely suggest it. Kindergarten will be a whole new world of friends and routines that your son will enjoy. The academic portion will be much too easy, but it will bring the understanding of how to work in school and give him experiences with a lot of fine motor control (this is often lacking in gifted kids, but not always - you didn't mention this). As for a gifted pull-out program there will probably not be any option for a few years, if ever, in your school. Continue to be his advocate for challenging education while balancing a nice-mommy approach. Unfortunately in many schools the parents who push the most are pushed away by administrators, overwhelmed teachers and other parents who will think you are bragging (you're not). One trusted approach is to ask his teacher what you can be doing with him at home - most of his quality education will come from the experiences you provide for him - not the direct teaching or drill and practice, but the places you visit and the conversations you have with him).

Grade skipping, when done well can be very effective, but there are a lot of challenges in the school system. It is a proven method of teaching children at the level where they are most ready, but the teachers, school support system and administrators must be in the on the conversation and your child should have a self-esteem that is already strong - it can be a seamless option, or it can lead to disaster. Tread carefully - if this is right for your son, it will be great, but if it is just to satisfy a desire to further a "my-son-is-brilliant" need (which I don't think you have), then no one will win.

Talk to him a lot, read everything, answer all his questions (often with "what do you think?" or "how can we find out?") and use the biggest range of vocabulary you can - recent Harvard research says that the vocabulary that a child has at age 5 will directly relate to the size of his vocabulary in his 20's!! Stick to shows on PBS - Sesame Street, Super Why, Sid the Science Kid, Between the Lions, Word Girl, and Fetch. Keep him interested in science, history and mathematical reasoning and enjoy the things he can do.

Finally, be careful who you are listening to - you may choose to take the advice of those who say what you really wanted to hear, but it may not be the best advice. Loading your son with extracurricular activities and classes may not be what YOUR child needs or wants.

Good luck and feel free to write back - my aim is to be very open to parents and their ideas about their own children - even if they're not in my district!

If you live in NYC there are several gifted and talented schools that you can apply for your son. Check out Hollingworth first because of his age.

I have a son like this. I ended up putting him in an alternative school because I felt that he could learn more about global learning (cutting and pasting,etc) than academics at school. I was unable to find any program that could stimulate and challenge him academically.

I choose not to skip him because #1 it really wouldn't have made any difference. At 4 years old his pre-school teacher told me that I had a real problem and that he was reading at least at a 4th grade level. One time in first grade ( when he was bored and unhappy with school) the school specialist tested him and once he passed each subject at the fourth grade level, I was told that there was really nothing to do except try to give him interesting things to do. Fortunately he is not a discipline problem. The #2 reason I chose to not skip him is that both my parents were very, very gifted and skipped a lot, and they advised me not to go that route. Socially, he is much better off with his age group. He is already different because of his interests and love of learning. Better that he is not immature for his grade.

So, now he is 14. He is in a fabulous International School and, yes, in many of his subjects he is still bored. He is still much more academic that most of the kids around him. He does have friends, but I know that one day he will meet more that are really like him. I wanted to send him to the John Hopkins summer school program (I heard it was great), but he's too young.

It is difficult to be top of the class (and a boy) at 14. At times, he tries to not do as well, but he really is fascinated by learning, so this doesn't last.

Good luck. Maybe this isn't what you expected to hear. It's challenging. My son is a wonderful, brillant, compassionate human being. I can't wait for him to be in an enviornment that thrills him mind-wise. I expect it will come later.

Hi S.,
I know that Hofstra University has a program for gifted children. You might want to call to get some information and some direction. You might want to talk to someone in your school district as well. Also, maybe there is an online support group where you may find some great advice. I was once a member of an infertility website and received some wonderful support and advice. Good luck to you and your son.
J.

I agree about looking into home schooling or private schools, some have scholarships if you need it. My kids were ahead (not as ahead as yours is though) and were bored in school until grade 3, then things seemed to level off for them. Luckily they still remain A students. But I agree that you need to make sure he can manage social skills too because it is different than intelligence and skipping a grade can make the social issue difficult. I didn't see anyone suggest music lessons. I think this helps to keep the mind stimulated and a child challenged. My son started piano at 4 and is ahead of the students that are 6, just because his mind is so open to it. Good Luck!

You don't sound like you're bragging at all and congrats to you for continuing to challenge him. Sounds like you're doing such an amazing job with this little prodigy!! Unfortunately, I don't have your issue with my 2 year old so don't have much advice but just wanted to say good luck :) My only thought would be to try private school and if not feasible, do a LOT of extra cirricular activities with him after school Most public schools, even elementary, should have a gifted program....
Good luck!!!!

I see you have received many responses to your dilemma...I wish I had this source of info when my son was three! I did not read any of the responses so I hope I am not redundant. My son had the same capabilities as your son and I too was at a loss when it came to academics. Public school is not the answer. Unfortunately, in central NJ we do not have magnet,charter or gifted and talented schools. My son as well as yours deserves to be in a proper school among other peers that think and learn alike. My son is eleven now and the public school system has done nothing for him. In fact, every year his teacher in each grade will tell me how intelligent and unique my son is! So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is if it's possible to send your son to a charter, magnet or gifted and talented school please do it. Home schooling is another option but if he's not socially mature this may be an issue for both of you. I firmly believe that highly intelligent children should be schooled with each other. Feeling "different" will always be an issue anywhere else because of his intelligence. Ohhh, I could go on and on and on...my sons intelligence is both a blessing and a curse. I truly hope you find all the answers...I'm still looking! I did not have a positive experience, in fact, I was told not to push my son and to get him involved in sports! I never "pushed" my son as I'm sure you do not either. I was not overly concerned with the pre-school years because my son needed to socialize. Although, in retrospect he would have benefitted to be in a Montessori pre-school. Good luck to you it is a long and difficult road and I wish you and your little genius the best...God bless!
Regards, Marianne