Getting Used to Daycare -- 13 Months Old

Hello. Your best bet is to talk to the daycare provider. We had some concerns this year as our daughter cried more at drop off and at pick up she would say in the car that school was not fun. After watching her play before she noticed I was there and talking with her teachers, we became assured that she was just fine. They assured us that within 5-10 minutes after drop off, she was off playing, she naps better than last year, and I found that after asking more than "how was your day" .... more specifically asking if she played with specific children, then I found out what her day was really like.

I understand that yours is too young for that, but have faith in yourself. I assume you picked a daycare you are comfortable with and you find the teachers trustworthy. Talk to them and be sure on the way to and from school that you talk about it in an excited tone ... maybe he doesn't understand all your words, but he will understand your emotions and feelings. If you are hesitant and reluctant, he will feed off of that. If you make it a big deal and keep it positive, it will be more helpful.

Ultimately, know it may take a while - he is accustomed to having 24hour access to you and having his needs met quickly, rather than having to share time with other kids. If you picked a place you are comfortable, he will be just fine.

Not all parents have the option of staying at home, nor can everyone afford someone coming into the home. This is nothing to feel guilty about. If you are like me, it really is a joy to pick up my daughter after work - she is excited to see me, I am excited to see her - and our time becomes very precious.

Good luck.

Hello BC , It will take a while In my experence ( child care provider) the first 2 weeks either go realy good and then they react or they react right off the bat and then it only takes a little while. Just remember its probley harder on you then Him. You will get through it. Its good your starting early. Always say Good bye. don't sneek out I hate when parents sneek out. Its harder on the child that way. Good Luck you will make it. T.

He is adjusting to a new routine and it can vary how long until he used to it. I've worked in daycare for 13 years and I strongly suggest that infants are not placed in childcare centers. I regret deeply that I made my own children suffer through it. It makes me sad to see the little ones there. I get angry at the teachers who tell babies that they are fine when obviously they are not. How are the teachers in the room? Too many it is just apaycheck and crying babies are an inconvenience to getting through their day.
Keep in mind that he's had you to fulfill his every need as soon as he needed it. Now he will have to wait to eat, get diaper changed, be rocked, etc., when the teacher has time to do it since they are helping other kids as well. See that his eating and napping times are still followed closely. Take blankets, sheets, bibs and a toy or two from home (but wash them everyday day or bring new ones every day).
It can be hard for kids to also adjust to the light and the noise at a daycare too. Sometimes overwhelming and stressful for little ones, all the constant activity.
Your money may be better spent having someone come into your house who can still provide the one on one and keep his routine and surroundings the same. This will also prevent him from getting sick, as most infants catch everything once in daycare.
Hope you find a solution that works for you.

I have worked in preschools, and had my son in daycare when he was about the same age...my son didn't take very well to it, and was miserable. But, every child is different and they can adapt over a period of few weeks with consistency and given the childcare provider is attentive to the child's needs.

I'm sure you did your homework before you put your little boy in the school, but there are a lot of things to consider about daycares.

This link is handy...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-find-good-daycare_5924.bc

Truly, when I was in a preschool environment if the child did not adapt within a few weeks, to being left and adapting to the new routine, we always recommended the parents help us figure out what we could do to help. If he was miserable yesterday, he may have just been having a bad day. I'm sure not everyday is perfect with Mommy at home, and it will not be perfect every day at childcare. Make the daycare keeps you informed about his day, and you as well about his evening and night's sleep.

I know how hard it is to leave your little one at all in the care of someone who isn't you. My son didn't adapt well to daycare so, I found a way to pay my Mom instead to watch him for me and they have a blast when he's not with his Dad in the mornings.

Just be patient and consistent, everything will work out fine.

Good Luck!

Hi. I am a home daycare provider and here is my input. Consistancy and the feeling of security is soooooooo important at this age. My experience is when I know I am starting a child that is around your sons age I anticipate a hard few weeks. This is so normal. This is change to them and they are so sensitive because I am a stranger and it is not comfortable for them. I make sure I have things arranged so I spend one on one time as much as I can so he then feels safe and secure with me. It does usually take 2 weeks, give or take. In your case you are only going 3 days which means it will take him longer. Not knowing the 3 days he is going, try doing all 3 days in a row. That way he is not switching every day. If he is going one day with mommie, then the next day with daycare, then maybe the next day with grandma then back to daycare, no wonder he is not adpapting. This is way too much to adjust for the little guy. Again try keeping it simple and maybe keeping his placement of days to just you and daycare. Keep Grandma out of being the daycare provider for a little while, of course she can still be grandma. Give it a few weeks with this schedule where he is with you lets say Friday through Monday and at daycare Tuesday through thursday. that way he gets 3 good days a daycare and 4 days with you. He may adjust a little better.

Good luck

He hasn't been going very long at all... usually, this is typical adjustment.

My question would be, HOW does your daycare provider handle these "bad days" with the 1 year olds? If they are nurturing... then that is good of course. But, if they 'ignore' a child's hardship... then the child won't adjust well. AND, how many children are under their care?

For some kids, its just "culture shock" and then they get used to a 'different' routine... in time. Also, yes, there is "separation anxiety" at this age and at any age, especially when there is a change to their routine.

Give it time, 2 days is hardly anything to get used to yet.
But I would make sure you know how the providers 'handle' the children when they are simply not 'happy' or not transitioning well. This is very important.

Some kids adjust and some don't. There is always this aspect too. My sister was the type that just didn't adjust to any "change" very well. It's just her and the way she is all the while growing up. But most kids, do adjust.

See how it goes.

All the best,
Susan

Hello,
You have goten good advise I would like to ad a lot of times a child will do great a couple of times because it is new & fun then once they figure out you are going to be leaving all the time they start to get upset. I have worked in day care centers when I was young and decided that I would never leave my kids in one no matter how great the people are they just can't give infants (under 3) the kind of attention they crave & need. I understand you have to go back to work and make the best of it so for your piece of mind I would leave him and go back 15 to 30 minutes later and see how he is doing. The next couple of days just keep popping in and see what is going on. I also work in the nursery at MOPS and watch babies for 2 hours while their mommy's have time together and sometimes the babies cry the whole time and other times they are fine most will cry at drop off and within 5 to 10 minutes we can redirect them and they are happy as can be but as soon as mom comes back they may cry again. We always hold and do everything in our power to comfort them if they are crying. So one more thng if after a few more weeks he is not getting better I would look into finding a stay at home mom who will care for just your child in their home. I have 3 kids 17 15 & 5 who are now all in shooland I work nights so I take care of a couple kids when they need care I love having the babies around and their parents like knowing that they are getting more one on one care. Good luck If you have any other questions or concerns feel free to contact me.

Hey B.C.

Soon I will be in the exact same boat you are in now. The only difference is that my son is a little older 23 months, however, the whole entering a new environment is the same:) I was a preschool special education teacher for 7 years before I had my son so I can tell you right now that there is not a set time for the "honey moon period" to start or end. Like with anything time is your best compass. He's going to have good days and bad days like any other day, since you have a little time off right now maybe vary the time you pick him up. Maybe four hours the first week is too much for him, start with maybe 1 1/2 - 2 and build on top of that, drop by (unseen by him), to see how he is coping, interacting, and how the teacher or assistants interact with him, and finally prior to dropping him off pull out some pictures of the place, talk to him about where he is going and how much fun he is going to have so that he is prepped. He may not understand everything you are saying but he will recognize that a transition is about to happen.

Hope this helps!!!

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