Getting the Family on a Schedule When You're 'Laid Back'

When my friend was in optometrist school, her DH had the kiddo on weekends while she worked or did homework, etc. That became major bonding time. Is there a time your DH is available, even just for a few hours (like the zumba time?) where that could be his quality time? Sometimes time has to ebb and flow. I'd love to see my DD off to school every day, but my new work schedule has me leaving before 7AM some days. I don't want to wake her. I leave her notes to remind her that I love her and spend more time with her in the afternoon. Similarly, my cousin's DH worked nights for a long time. He would come home and do all the morning stuff with their DD and let his wife sleep and then they'd trade off before he had to go to bed. Breakfast became their main family meal. IMO, just think of what you have going on and where things fit, even if they don't fit someone else's schedule.

we started a set routine when my (now 5) ds was 2. we started bedtime routine at 8pm. his little sister was still a baby but as soon as she was old enough to get it we put her on the same routine. we are strict about it and will leave family gatherings early to keep the kids close to the routine.

to start one i would pick a day/date and say "starting sunday night we will be going to bed at 9 pm no questions." and stick to it.
our evening routine goes by so quickly that i don't have time to sit i look foreward to 8pm so i can sit and enjoy a few moments with my children before i retire to my room for mommy and daddy movie and relaxing time

I am worthless if I don't get enough sleep, not very nice either, so as laid back as I am in nearly everything else bed time was carved in stone lest innocents get hurt. :)

When I was in school and time was so limited I did my homework at the kitchen table with my kids. That way I was "watching" them so they didn't find a TV and still getting my own work done. Don't know if that would work for you.

When you make dinner make enough for 2-3 dinners, for instance spaghetti on Sunday can be reheated for the next 2-3 nights, saves a lot of time. If you family likes meatloaf make 2 -3 and freeze the extras. I made a small meatloaf for myself a couple of weeks ago and put it in the refrig overnight. The next morning I placed 3 potatoes in the bottom of my slo-cooker and the meatloaf on top covered and cooked on low all day. I came home and made a package of frozen veggies and I had dinner ready with-in 20 minutes of getting home. And enough meatloaf and potatoes to re-heat for a couple of nights. Cooking this way saves a lot of time in the evenings.
Have your son get in the shower right after you get home, before dinner. He can eat in his jammies.
You can toss a load in the washer before dinner also, then into the dryer right after dinner.
If he has any homework your son can do that while you clean up the kitchen. By this time it's almost time for bed, your son can brush teeth and choose a story for you to read. When he is tucked in you can fold laundry or unpack a box of two.
Now that my kids are all grown and on their own I don't schedule myself a lot. But when my kids were little I had a fairly strict schedule on school nights, weekends can be more flexible.
I hope this helps.

I think you don't have to look at others lifestyle and try to imitate it. There isn't any reason you have to follow what others think is normal. If your boy is in bed most nights by the time you want him in bed then you're doing well.

If you're home later then have dinner you don't have a lot of time after that to do anything family related. I'd say you need to just let things be how they are and if there is something you really don't like perhaps you and hubby can talk and make a schedule but don't make it like a timer that goes off and someone has to jump.