Getting Ready for School - Spring,TX

My husband actually gets the kids out of bed and on the go. He's retired but I think even if he was off to work he'd still help out. I sometimes just stay in bed...lucky me!

my husband works nights so he gets home around 6:30am. I have to leave for work at 7:30 and my kids go to school at the same school I work at. But since I have to get myself up and ready in the morning, my husband will be the one to wake them up when he gets home and help them with breakfast and stuff. That way, at 7:30 everyone is ready to go. It also gives him a chance to spend time with them before school.

Yah mine is not a morning person and he is cranky if I ask him to help get my daughter ready. For the most part it's easier for me to do it myself but when we are running late I get him to do certain things. I hate having to ask him because I get annoyed if he doesn't help willingly.

I totally get your frustration!

My kids are all grown now, but I remember when they were little.... it was always my responsibility.

For example... going to church on Sunday... hubby would sleep in, and get just himself ready... while I had to get the kids up, fed, and dressed and ready... and at one point, there were 3 of them, just 2 years apart. (All girls... so I also had hair to deal with...)

Hubby would come downstairs, and just do this "sigh"... as if... "Why the heck aren't you all ready yet? Why does it take so long?" He didn't SAY anything... that was just how I interpreted his sigh......

My husband does not 'help' get DS ready for school. It is both of our responsibilities and we share. The days he needs to be at work first, he gets up, makes lunch for DS and makes breakfast for all of us while I am in the shower. I get DS up, we eat breakfast together and then I help him brush and get dressed. On the days I need to get to work earlier, we do the reverse. I don't see the problem being whether your husband helps - I think the problem is you and he look at the kids as your responsibility which he can choose to help with.

Can you give him one or two specific tasks in advance, like "please get out breakfast dishes" or "please put the lunchbox in her backpack" or something easy he can do as part of his morning routine? Often husbands who aren't part of the usual routine don't know how to be organized without detailed instructions. So they avoid it, not wanting to disturb the chaos. And they're focused on what *they* need to do to get ready.

My dh leaves for work before my kids get ready, so it's always my responsibility. If getting ready for the day were ever his task, I'd have to give him pointers on exactly what time each thing needs to be done. Honestly, it's easier to do it myself. Ds is good about his schedule, and we've managed like a well oiled machine.

I totally understand where you're coming from. Dh isn't a morning person, so I get the attitude too, if I ask for help. He always says he doesn't have time. I just consider it part of my job to get the kids ready.

This is a sore spot in my house. Of the 1800 school days under our belt (10 years down, 11 to go) my husband has done the morning routine fewer than 10 times. Three of those times were because I had given birth the day before, three are from an annual conference I go to that starts at 8 AM, and the rest for OB appointments. When he was self-employed/under-employed/unemployed and was actually home at least until 9 or 10 AM, he would just sleep through the chaos, which started for me at 6:30 AM and ended at 9. Now that he has a regular job where he needs to be somewhere by 8, he gets up at 7 and leaves the house 10 minutes later. Ridiculous.

So our morning? I get up at 6:30 with my high school kids (4:30 if it's a hockey practice day) and they head out the door at 7 or 7:15. I'll drive them in lousy weather. My little boys get up at around 7 on their own and I get my 4th grader out the door at a little after 8, then get back at 8:30 and pack up my youngest and walk him to school by 9. Then I either start my workday right then (I work at home 3x per week) or grab my own lunch and bag, etc. and drive into the office. I've had two or three different schedules to cover between school (now) or school/pre-school/daycare (a few years ago). It's always been a stressful way to start the day but it is what it is. It does get easier as they get older.

If I were you, I would lay out the day to your husband and ask him what parts he's planning on doing. If he's just used to worrying about himself in the morning, perhaps he can pitch in at night? Figure out which tasks can be done the night before and divvy them up - for example, perhaps he can do baths and help the kids pick out clothes the night before and be in charge of making sure backpacks are packed for the morning (homework/notices/permission slips for your older child; blankets/sippy cups/extra clothes for the younger if she or he goes to daycare) while you clean up after dinner and make lunches, or vice versa?

Try to present this as a joint problem to solve. My issue was that when my husband and I first got married, our oldest son was "mine" from a prior relationship and we didn't have any "ours" yet. So it stood to reason that I would be the one to get him ready for school. Then when his daughter moved in with us, and then we had one kid together, then another, it was all still my job to do the morning routine. Don't be like me ;-) Get him involved somehow - if not the actual morning, then after dinner the night before.

My husband makes breakfast for all of us and gets the baby dressed. If our 4 year old is having a rough morning and isn't ready yet, he'll help him get ready too.

We have two boys, one in first grade and one in PreK, and it has always been my responsibility. There have been a few times when I had somewhere to be early and he needed to get them off to school, but only a few times.

I guess I just look at it as a division of labor. There are many things my husband does that I just don't even think about. He takes care of the garbage. I do occasionally take a bag out to the garbage cans. He takes care of the cat - feeding, cleaning the litter box. There are many, many things that he does that I don't lift a finger to help with.

There have been a couple of times when he had the day off and could help with the morning routine. The truth is, he's not a part of the routine at all, and those few times he helped, we were almost late. He didn't know what needed to be done and had a tendency to enjoy hanging out with the kids, rather than helping them get dressed. Too much stress!

But I do understand what you're saying. This might not be a sore subject for me, but that doesn't mean we don't have our areas where we disagree!

My boys are older - 11 and 13.

We work it together. the night before? They are show us their "bag drag" - the clothes they are going to wear the next day - this cuts down on the "I don't know what I'm going to wear today!!"

Lunches and coffee (for Daddy!) are made the night before the timer is set for the coffee pot.

My oldest son is a morning person - his alarm goes off at 0630 and he's up - taking his shower, fixing his breakfast, etc.

My youngest son? SSSSOOO not a morning person!! So the bag drag the night before is REALLY important!! :)

At some point they are going to have to get ready themselves. My boys have been using alarm clocks since Kindergarten to get up in the AM for school.

What does my husband do? Encourage our youngest to get up in the AM - as daddy is NOT a morning person either....so they can commiserate together on being up sooooo early!!! :)

If it will help your household - set the breakfast dishes out the night before. If it's cereal for breakfast - put the boxes out too. I know there are some people who do that....after dinner dishes are cleared and the dishwasher is going - they set out the breakfast dishes.

But really? Start making them responsible for SOMETHING....stop catering to them. They are going to have to learn to get ready on their own sooner or later!!

My husband doesn't help on school mornings because he is gone to work before anyone else is awake. I've been doing school mornings on my own since the beginning. I don't need any help. In fact, if he were to be home for some reason it would be best to just stay out of my way and not mess up the routine.

We've never run so behind that we're actually late to arrive. You just need to plan ahead. For starters, make sure clothes are laid out the night before and that all school supplies/needs are ready to go and at the door before bed.

In the morning, make sure you're getting up earlier than the kids so that you're dressed and ready to go before waking them. That way, your full attention can be directed where it needs to be. It will also give you time to take care of anything you might have forgotten the day before.

All that should need to be done with the kids is breakfast, get them dressed, brush teeth/comb hair. (If your daughter resists getting out of bed, that is a behavior issue to deal with.)

Since your daughter is in K now, start the after-school routine too. This will pay off later. When she gets home, she can have a snack. Then any schoolwork is dealt with immediately. She probably won't have much or any at this point, but you should always check her backpack for parent-homework and deal with it first thing after school. Never procrastinate - not even on Fridays - and keep the school papers organized and in one place for the duration of the year.

I agree with some below posts - your children are BOTH of your responsibility. DH should be getting involved in the morning routine without being asked. At the very least, sit down with him and discuss it. No matter what time he has to go to work, there is *something* he can do to help. Even if it's something like packing the child's lunch/snacks the night before.

Children of two parents are a two parent responsibility!

My husband is up and out the door way too early to help with getting our daughter ready for school - he is gone for work before we even wake up. Fortunately we just have the 1 kid. I do get her up early enough to have time to eat breakfast and wake up a little more but it takes all my effort to keep her focused on the things she needs to be doing to get ready for school - she tends to get easily distracted and will suddenly decide she needs to figure out where her mermaid Barbie doll is instead of getting her shoes on. When he's been laid off over the winter and I've had to get to work in addition to getting her ready for school, he's helped out more. Having things like lunches packed and backpacks ready the night before definitely helps.

I am a full time mom so it falls into my category of responsibilities. That being said, my husband is always willing to help lift the load I carry on my shoulders. He is a heck of a good husband and father. He works alot and is often trying to find creative ways to make an impact in our children's lives. Notes under their pillows or in their lunches...sets up daddy dates etc.

He would willingly help if I asked and looks for ways to help out. But...I am the one really "man"ning the ship on the homefront.

Your kindergartener can get herself ready...she just needs some positive motivation and incentive to do it. Your three year old most definitely needs help.

I propose you make sure that every night you are ready for the next day. Let the kids pick out their clothes and lay them out. Let the kids pack their lunches and snacks...with your help and encouragement for healthy options.

Then make a little incentive for the week if they get up quickly when you wake them, get dressed and to the table for breakfast. Not a treat incentive...but maybe a game with daddy later that night..a piggy back ride on daddy to bed that night and snuggle with daddy reading a story. Just some ideas to help daddy get in on the fun after seeing you are trying to help the kids have a smoother morning.

I am not so sure your husband doesn't want to help you...but instead is simply frustrated after watching a very disorganized morning and he is already in a hurry to get to work on time.

No, but I'm a full time mom so that's *my* job. I wouldn't expect my husband to "help" with these kinds of mundane things, after all he works full time, pays ALL the bills, takes care of all the "manly" stuff (cars, home repairs/improvement, etc.) so I figure I'm woman enough to get the kids up, dressed, fed and out the door in the morning, all by my little ole self!!!

My husband leaves way before we even get up. So getting 3 kids ready is all on me.

My boys get themselves ready (9 and 15). I take our oldest to school, and my husband takes our youngest to school. He's always been great about helping in the mornings, even back when it involved packing diaper bags and feeding a baby. We have always based figuring out our morning schedule on whatever made the most logical sense.

My husband helps me wake everyone up, and will sometimes get their breakfast if I'm behind schedule. He also drives my older two to school since he can drop them off right when the doors open and still be on time for work.

My husband works late and sleeps in the morning, so not only is it up to me to get the kids (my two and the two extra I watch before and after school) ready for school, but I also have to make sure everyone is quiet and doesn't wake dad.

I am a SAHM too and it falls on me not because it's my job but because for some unknown reason, the thought of doing my girls hairs sends my hubby into a state of panic. To his credit he did ask for a quick how to. He also worries about what clothes to put on them on. I had to remind him that a hanger holds a complete outfit.

He has on multiple occasions gotten our girls ready. They are 7 and 9 now so it's a lot easier. Worse scenario is that they go to school with bed heads. But their tummies will be full and their teeth brushed and their clothes clean.

When they were little he had dressed the older one in the little one in the older ones clothes and vice versa.

Our girls go to two different schools so if I don't have to get up early if one of the girls have a late start. He would do all the getting ready and dropping off before heading to work.

Mine and my husbands schedule are inconsistent, so we both have to go it alone sometimes. Especially if he is the one doing it all by himself, I pull clothes out the night before, (at least 9/10 times!)
On days where we are both around: I do the ward robing, hair and help him keep things moving. He does coffee, breakfast and makes lunches. Who drops them off depends on who has more time before work, is not working, or who can drop them off on their way to work.
My 2nd grader's alarm goes off at 6:50, she stumbles into our bed for 10 min of snuggles and then 7am sharp we are all up and at 'em (the kindergartener is always up well before then) . Or if I have to work soon after they leave for school, I'm up at 6 so I'm all ready to help them by 7.

My husband is up and gone to work an hour before our son wakes up.
I've always got him ready for school.
It's never been a bother and it's just a matter of getting things organized.
Make lunches and lay out clothes the night before.
Get the kids up early enough so there's no mad scramble to get ready.
(This means making sure they get to bed early enough so they are not tired in the morning.)
Our son needs to be up 1 hour before he leaves.
They are not going to be self starting till they are in middle school.

My husband leaves for work about 45 minutes to an hour before I get up in the morning. He helps by having dd's lunch ready in the fridge so all I have to do is pop it in her lunch box when I pack mine.

We do make sure all our clothes are laid out the night before, that really helps. And he does the bedtime routine.

Our routine is basically, up by 6:30, clothes, teeth, lunches, if there's time she watches a little bit of tv, then out the door by 7:10, she goes to daycare for breakfast and they take her to school while I head to work. Hubby picks her up from daycare, they pick her up from school.

When DS was in preschool, DH rode a motorcycle and said he couldn't do it. I finally said I couldn't do it any longer and he would have to drive her in the car and could come back and get his motorcycle. He finally started taking her, but I had to have her ready.

She is now in the second grade and I put her clothes out for school the night before and comb her hair in the morning. Otherwise, she gets herself ready. He is stuck with the responsibility of getting her to the classroom on time.

Nope, but he leaves before any of us get up.

And on the rare occasion he doesn't have to work...he may take the kids for me but he doesn't help much with the process of getting them ready. Mainly, because we have a pretty set routine he doesn't know anything about.

It depends on what she needs and who is up. I do most of it because DH is leaving shortly after DD wakes up. But he can still do things like pack her lunch or find her shoes or pour her cereal if that helps.

Or ask for their/DH's help at night. If I know that DD will absolutely need gym shoes, then I try to make sure they are found and placed where we can get them the night before. Lunches can be packed the night prior most of the time, or at least the stuff that doesn't need to be refrigerated.

My DD is also in K this year and can pick out her own clothes, or at least put on what I put out for her, including socks and shoes. While she does that I can get her breakfast or pack the rest of her lunch or make sure that form gets back in her backpack. I got DD up by 7:30 this morning (she has school at 9) to give us more time for the first day. She also went to bed a little earlier.

One of our rules is no TV until you are ready. If DD is good, she can watch Charlie and Lola. If not...well, sorry Charlie. I help brush her teeth and do her hair (she has looong hair) and keep her on track.

I do most of it. Our alarm goes off at 5 a.m. and he gets up and takes the dogs out. I get up and get dressed while he lays back down with the TV on. We wake up the kids about 5:30. I am ready by that time so I supervise them getting dressed while he showers and gets dressed. He makes our bed while I get the kid's beds. I then take the kids downstairs and feed them breakfast and pack our lunches. I am out the door with the kids by about 6:15 a.m.

It used to annoy me to no end, but it has gotten easier as the kids have gotten older. We have a routine down and there is not a lot of room for nonsense in the morning. I take a shower the night before to save time. I lay out everyone's clothes the night before as well. The kids wear uniforms to school so there is no argument about what they are going to wear.

Sounds like you have to get a bit tough with the kids and ask for help from your DH. I would explain to the kids that they had to get ready so that we would not be late and so that we could have a good day. If your kids are prone to lollygagging, then get them up a half hour earlier to accommodate.

I start work at 7 AM.. I do not usually see the kids before I leave. My hubby gets them up, dressed and fed.. My son just started school today so he put him in the bus and then took our daughter to daycare.. I say he does more than me.

My job is a 45 min in good traffic each way, so I pick up my son. My hubby gets our daughter sicne the daycare is right by his work.

Do you go to work right after they go to school? Because if so, then I think both of you should be getting them ready. If not, then I think he should be getting himself ready and you take care of the kids. That's how it worked in my house when my kids were little. I wasn't working out of the home, so the kids were my responsibility. Sometimes we had to start earlier if they weren't cooperative. That way they realized they needed to stop griping and get ready, or the alarm clock would be set earlier.

when we both worked very early, we did it together. we were carpooling then, so everyone was up before dark and yes, my husband helped.
when i was able to get my schedule to something more reasonable for me (not a morning person!) the flip side was that i had the kids to do by myself. we had a good routine and my kids weren't difficult about it, so it was perfectly do-able.
khairete
S.

I do the mornings, days, dinner and bedtime. He is gone before it's light and home very late evening.

What time do you get your kids up in the morning? Can you get up about 15 minutes earlier and start? That will allow for the slow moving folks. You are going to have to have a routine and stick to it. Put times to it in increments of 10 minutes. Leave off the TV or put it on a news channel no cartoons in the morning. Usually news channels give the time every 10 to 15 minutes. This would help you know where you stand with getting the kids ready to go out the door on time.

If you have to dress the kids in their school clothes the night before to get them to leave on time, do it. If they have to have a lunch or snack make it the night before.

Good luck to you. It would also cut down on the chaos in the morning. Hubby may then be willing to take a child to school.

the other S.