Getting My Daughter to Eat Until She Feels Full

Updated on January 31, 2008
N.D. asks from Vancouver, WA
8 answers

my daughter is 5 years old. she used to be a great eater but not so much anymore, especially at dinnertime. if we don't make her eat, she will invariably get up in the middle of the night because her stomach hurts. i got tired of it so i finally told her that she should have eaten more at dinner and sent her back to bed. she got up in the morning very pale and nauseous so i had to keep her from preschool. eventually she perked up after eating and was fine the rest of the day. from then on, i decided to make her eat food so this won't happen but how do i get her to eat until she's full? there was just an article on babycenter about specifically not forcing your child to eat: http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_how-to-avoid-making-...

so what do i do? i don't want to create problems in the future but need her to eat now. she will even not eat enough of a food she loves, just because she doesn't want to sit at the table anymore. i'm not worried about her being malnourished because she does eat throughout the day however i can't have her missing school because she won't eat at dinnertime.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

my son has this problem. For a while we actually put the portable dvd player on the table and put a movie in for dinner to make him stay. Now we just force him to sit as long as we can without tying him down.Its important for a child to eat at the table with the family, or at least sit there. There are lots of stats showing the emotional good it does to get the family together at a meal so keep her there at least for a time. My son doesnt usually eat much at the dinner table and he is a struggle to keep still. So he always gets a cup of milk right before bed to fill him up. Also, we do smoothies that are milk, frozen fruit and protien powder to fill them up if they dont eat. We put it in a cup with lid and straw so they can wander without spilling. My children are both VERY active so this has worked well for us when we just dont want to struggle anymore about holding still. Good Luck, Jen

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L.R.

answers from Portland on

Maybe you could try a healthy snack, like with protein so it will last longer in her system before bed. I know at this age they have so much energy and desire to play and move that sitting for dinner is only tolerated for a limited time.
We are having conversations with our 2 almost 3 yr old about sensations in his tummy - and how they are connected with what he eats, etc. They are too young to understand, but we are all trying to teach them healthy eating habits, right? Maybe this will be a good way for you to converse with her about eating and how important it is and the effects it has on her body.

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E.R.

answers from Medford on

I wouldn't put it as 'making her eat'. Just make her sit at the table until she is done. She doesn't have to eat but if she wants to leave the table and do fun things then she needs to finish her food. Give her small portions that way it can be accomplished easily.

**update

i just read that article and it says to give your kids dessert whether or not they finish there food. that's bull. if they aren't hungry enough to eat their food then how can they be hungry for dessert??

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Forcing your daughter to eat starts a cycle of power struggles. It could be that her not eating now is the result of your anxiety about her not eating. Or she could have a medical condition causing her to not eat.

I recommend backing off from the food issue. Put a piece of bread and butter by her bed so that she can eat in the middle of the night without waking you. Bread and butter is the way my mother, and now me, evaluate whether or not the child is really hungry. If they are they will eat the bread and butter.

You could also try letting her watch a video while she's eating. Her mind will be occupied with the video and she may forget that she's rebelling if that's the issue.

I would first take her to the doctor since stomach pain is what awakens her and she got up in the morning very pale and nauseous. There are other reasons for pain than hunger. There are health reasons for being pale and nauseous. She may be not eating because of a medical condition. One possibility is that her blood sugar gets low and so when she eats she feels better because eating raises the blood sugar level. I get pale and nausous when I go too long without eating but my stomach doesn't hurt. (There is a difference between the way our stomach feels when we're hungry and when something is wrong. I have felt both kinds of pain.) I try to eat something before I get pale and nauseous. She may need a snack in the middle of the night. She may need to eat smaller amounts more often. It is important to have the doctor evaluate her health soon.

My grandchildren sometimes eat very little at dinner time and I don't think they have awakened in the night because of hunger. They do not complain of pain either. They say they're hungry at bedtime and when I'm there I offer them a piece of bread and butter. Only once was it accepted.

It is very important to rule out a health condition. At the same time it's important to take the pressure off of eating or not eating. People, especially babies and preschoolers, will eat enough unless they have a health problem. Their appetite comes and goes. Sometimes they eat second of everything and other times they eat very little. This is normal. What causes me concern is the combination of pain, paleness and nausea.

If she doesn't eat because of not wanting to stay at the table you are in the midst of a power struggle. You can change this by ignoring how much she eats and making the rule that everyone stays at the table until everyone finishes eating. Or you could say that everyone stays at the table for a set period of time. Perhaps 30 minutes. This takes the struggle away from food and onto the real issue of staying at the table. She will test these boundaries. You will need to stay firm. When she leaves bring her back to the table in a courteous manner. Kids like to see parents angry because anger proves they have power.

Power struggles are a whole other issue and I've already written a book. :):) After writing this answer I looked at the website you cited. Please go back and read it again.

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K.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi Nicole,

I am having this exact issue with my almost 3 year old. We did desert for a while to "motivate" and then all my 4 year old cared about was what he HAD to eat to get desert, so I stopped that.

What I have done is at night, I give her cup of milk, she usually drinks it if she's thirsty. I have also tried the meal supplements they have at walmart, that are vanilla or chocolate flavored, however, she doesn't like them...but if your daughter does, that has alot of nutrients and is better than just plain milk.

I also like the idea of the fruit smoothie, we just tried that with my daughter and she LOVED it, and she's the pickiest little thing!

Hope that helps! You're def not alone!!

Take care!
K.

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

you daughter may need to eat more frequent smaller meals.. because might be full when she eats, just gets hungrier sooner. Think about how soon before bed she is eating. Offer her a snack with protein - half a peanut butter sandwich, turkey slices with cheese before she goes to bed. I had one or two that were always hungry before they went to bed or woke up hungry, I often let them have a bowl of oatmeal before going to bed. Protein is the best to kind of "stick" with her through the night..

but certainly don't have your goal to have her eat so she is full every time.. think about what you are going to be "programming" her to be like. And think about if she is eating before dinner - how soon before dinner and what. So sometimes the ideal is more like 6 smaller meals a day for some folks and that may just be what your daughter needs.

best wishes

JG

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E.S.

answers from Wilmington on

Maybe should try making her eat more often during the day and her last meal can be little but high fat so that it takes her all night to digest.

A little snack even peanut butter or whole milk right before bed could help

1 mom found this helpful
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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

I have went through similar thing with my 4 year old, I have found its best to have him eat his dinner and then before bed I feed him a yogurt or a granola bar or someting to help him til morning.
Its just became part of our routine, and there our nights when he will pass on his nigh night snack.
Best of luck to you!!

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