im so sorry for the loss in your family :(
my advice: just do it.
in my experience, most men will eat what you cook. so if you want change, you just have to do it without talking about it, without telling him, just do it. the number 1 source of fat in our diet is animal products. i mean, how many vegetables or fruit can you think of with fats in them ? its just not something you equate with fats.
SO, that being said, DECREASE DRAMATICALLY the amount of animal products you eat. when you do use them, use lower fat versions, or lean meats like turkey, chicken, and even venison. beef is pretty high fat and pork is EXTREMELY dangerous for your health, so avoid those if at all possible.
there are many very delicious options that arent meat at all, but replace meat quite nicely. morning star and boca have many very good yummy options! :) they are more expensive, but for example, with their corn dogs, instead of feeling like i could eat 3 of the things, usually i can eat one and feel satisfied. thats a major difference!
also, this brand of foods its DELICIOUS!!!!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...
if you have an confusion as to how to cook them, please dont hesitate to let me know. but for example, the fry chick we usually do like we do fish; dunk in egg and then in crushed crackers, and fry. :) YUM YUM YUMMY!
anyway, increase the portion size of veggies and or fruit, and even beans, and DECREASE the portion size of what we americans think is the "main course" (aka the meats).
another good tip is to simply swap your large dinner plates for the smaller plates. this will help to control portion size, and you might even find that you dont need to eat a full dinner plate of food, and you are satisfied even after just a small plate.
something else i thought of; drink water with meals. this is good for your whole body for so many reasons. stock your fridge with skim milk ; use it in cooking or your cereal, but for the most part, you dont need to drink milk (dispite what the milk industry will tell you).
you can take a multivitamin, but really, oranges have calcium in them, and its more easily and completely digested from the fruit rather than from milk anyway. ;)
just making simple changes here and there you can make a huge difference. as far as other habits, try to make a family habit of going out for a walk in the evenings or something, even starting once a week is better than not at all. put all other events and responsibilities aside one night or one day a week, and take a walk together as a family. or go to a rink, park, whatever. something. maybe take turns in your family having each person choose an activity. search out a list of free activities in your area that you can do as a family. take up a new hobby like rollerblading or sledding or training for a charity run/walk. ;)
but most of all, dont feel the need to nag, just decide to do it. if your husband doesnt want to come with you and the kids just go, and eventually, the asking and you guys coming back having had a great time together might just motivate him to be with you instead. dont let anyone stop you from having a good time.
anyway.
good luck. its hard to change our eating and activity habits, but its needed, especially in your case where there is already immediate family history of health related death :(