Getting Bit

I am so sorry your son has gotten bit so many times! :(
Personally, after the 3rd bite I'd have found other arrangements for my child, but I realize that isn't easy to do.

From my limited understanding of health regulations for dayscare - unless it is over 105 degree or below freezing, or raining heavily then children are suppose to go outside for at least 15 minutes a day. It sounds to me like your daycare may have more children than they can handle.

If the next class up has the most biters, I would not let my child go up.

If changing daycare centers isn't an option - I'd ask the director to put someone in charge of my child to make sure he doesn't get bit (kind of like a personal security guard). Also see if the biters can be "quarantined" (placed is a seperate area) from my child as much as possible. I realize that learning to deal with "bullies", sharing, making friends, and learning to work through situations is what every child needs, but not at 17 months old!

Good Luck!

Hey, I work at a daycare and biting is a problem. Some children will bit and other never will. Smaller kids cannot talk so that is one way of them letting another child know, "hey, that's my toy" or "this is my territory and I don't want to share". You may try going to babycenter.com to get some articles on this and sharing them w/ your daycare provider. We have recently experienced an unhappy mom and dad and the daycare director met w/ them and we all brainstormed as to how to greatly reduce if not cut out the biting. A small student/teacher ratio is key for kids under 24 months. The teachers can pay extra attention to the "biters". A thought for being "couped" up. Take the kids outside at 8:30am or as early as possible. That way everyone wins. The kids can get some good exercise when the temps are not too hot. The situation can be resolved but everyone will have to work toward one good solution and truly want to rectify the situation. There will be biting, but it can be reduced. Good luck. :-)

Hi Jackie:

My daughter went through the biting stuff becaues she to was exposed to biting. However, understand this to shall pass it's a stage toddlers go through and it will stop. If I where you I would just keep the daycare informed of your concerns so they will keep a closer watch over the toddlers. This is more common that you think. I am a happily married mom of 2 girls 6 & 20 months. My 6 year old was the biter. Now my 20 month does it and she does not attend daycare it is a phase. Try not to worry so much.
T. U

It is the daycares job to make sure your child is taken care of, happy and protected while your son is in their care..Most daycares will only give the biter a few chances and then be told he or she needs to stay home for a bit. Being bitten that many times and coming home with markes and or bruises is unexceptable. You can tell the director this needs to be addressed promptly or you will be removing your child from their daycare. You pay good money to have your child cared for and safe while you are doing what you need to do.. There are plenty of daycares out there.

Bitting is going to happen. My children are 2 1/2 and 4 months old. My daughter has come home with a bite mark before. What I would watch out for is if it happens all the time. I know that 3 bites in one day is unacceptable. I would continue to moniter it. Daycare should nip that quickly.

I will tell you this, I hear about my friends kids either getting bit or they are actually doing the bitting. The parents feel horrible. Open communication is the best policy in my book. Good luck.

It's upsetting when a toddler is being bitten or biting in day care, however it is to be expected. That being said, I think you need to be concerned about your center. Here's why:

1. It is never too hot for children to have some outside play time. I have a family child care, and we went outside every day in August. A couple times some of the children began to look flushed and tired, at which point we went inside, but most days I helped them stay cool by having water activities like running in the sprinkler, the wading pool, or at least splashing in the water table. I used to teach in a preschool, and we never kept the kids in due to heat. That was in Texas, and believe me, it was hotter there than here. On days when we had to stay in because of rain, we had a big room where we took all the balls and riding toys, because children have to have time to run around every day.

2. Five bites in six weeks is beyond excessive. By the time a child has suffered two bites, the staff should have a very proactive attitude. The director should have solutions - not excuses. When at my preschool we had one biter in the three year-old room, we realized after two incidents that it was occuring just before lunch, and moved lunch to an earlier time. When it happened in the toddler room, it was over a favorite toy, so we bought duplicates of that toy.

3. If a child has been bit three times in one day, you have a supervision issue with your care provider. S/he is not paying close enough attention or intervening appropriately.

If you are committed to that center, then prompt the director with questions about the incidents, so that you can determine a cause and help her correct the problem. You say, though, that the next class up has multiple biters. That tells me that there is an endemic problem throughout the center. Biting should not be a big problem in the twos class or older. I taught a class of ten two year-olds, and had two biting incidents in one year. We had one biter with two incidents in the three year-old class and that is it.
As with most things, you get what you pay for with child care. If you are paying at least $140 a week, you can get better care elsewhere. If not, you may want to consider increasing your budget for child care. The early childhood years are crucial to good development. Ninety-percent of brain development happens in the first five years. Paying more now will pay for itself when you have fewer behavior problems with your child over the years and he is ready for school with good self-esteem and a love of learning.
Good luck
C. at Loving Hands Family Child Care

A "daycare" can't protect your child all the time. I personally don't care for them because a young child needs to be with mom or dad, not a stranger.

My son is now 19 mos. old and he has been bit and has been the biter at his daycare. I have to say the first few times they told me he was biting other kids I was horrified and embarrassed. I'm sorry for you and your little boy it's tough to think they are being hurt when you leave them at childcare. I was acually relived when anoth child bit mine so I no longer felt like my child was the "Bad Kid". Anyway all I can say is it is something kids do. It was a struggle for a while there but he has not been bit or bitten in several months, thankfully . It will get better for you too.

make sure he's not biting due to tooth pain/infection. teethers bite for that reason so let's make sure it's not just behavioral. no fevers? no redness in gums?

L., R.N.
atlantafamilycoaching.com

J.,
I am so sorry to hear about this...I am a mother of a biter and I am struggling so much! My son goes to daycare 3 days a week and he has managed to bite a child once or twice a week since he was 8 months old. Last week he bit 4 children in one day, I felt like DIRT. I called his pediatrician the second I got outside..before I even put him in his car seat. They suggested a 2 minute time out, which I do not have a problem with..I have tried everything I know to do. We have tried that approach at home but the daycare will not punish him.Including time out. The ped. office told me that he would not get the concept for a while, like after 30 times.I read through the other responses for any insite, it is the responsibility of the daycare to protect your child but not to desipline. I don't really agree with that but that is the world we are living in.
Just some reasoning that was given to me, I am not sure if you will appreciated this or not but it is some insite by the medical professionals. My son got his first 4 teeth at 6 months, they came in all together, and then 4 more at 8 months. He is one of the youngest in his class with the most teeth. He is just learning what the word NO means and he is biting to relieve pressure on his teeth. I have been assured that this is a phase and that all the children involved will make it through to live happy and productive lives...I have called about 4 times so they are giving me any hope they can!
Again I am really, really sorry. But If the other parents are like me I am looking for help everyday. So, If anyone gives you advise to pass along to the parents or the director, I would love to hear it!
____@____.com

I just wanted to let you know that the parents of the biter has probably already been working with the director, I have.

Hello J., You have done the right thing.Also, it is up to you and your husband to decide how much more you will take, with your child being bittin, that many times.And, maybe you should consider taking him out of that facility and, finding another place where there are no bitters. Prehaps,an in-home facility. I know of one if you are interested.

I am sorry for your troubles. It is hard enough to leave them let along when you know they are getting hurt. If it is a recurring problem or especially if he isn't liking the school any more it may just be time to change schools. Hope everything works out for you.