Getting Along with the Neighbors

Are you an ex smoker? you sound like one :)

go with the fan, or do you have another bedroom in the house ? do they have another patio?

or go to a gag store and get those stink bombs, the kind that smell like really bad farts
( rotten eggs) also get a cup of that" fart sound " gue, then when ever they even sit out there let it rip...soon they will find another place to smoke but only if you make it unbearable for them :)

or you could travel to Paris, sit at cafes for a few weeks, become a little more hip , less tense and romantically attached to the smell of smoke.

Ps I am a smoker and will smoke where ever I am, unless it is unbearable for myself...sorry :)

Hi D.:
It would appear, that your a little late in asking for advice here,as its clear you've already created ill feelings with your neighbors. your first reaction of swearing and slamming windows, has obviously left a (nasty taste in their mouth) pardon the pun. Not all smokers are rude,My husband and I have smoked for years, and we have always been considerate of those around us. We never smoke in front of the Grandkids,and we never smoke ,in front of businesses, parks or sporting events. We have always excused ourselves and walked what ever distance we had to as to not offend, or subject others to the second hand smoke.however, smokers,in the last ten years, have basically been judged, alienated,and treated like second class citizens. They don't respond favorably to those individuals,who compound those feelings of being discriminated against,by swearing and being rude. Personally, If I was your neighbor,and you had acted maturely,by coming over and explaining the problem to me in a nice way,I would have had no problem finding another place to have an occasional smoke. You could have said,"I'm sorry if I come across like a whiner,and I certainly am not suggesting you stop smoking, (Thats your right) During the cooler season its not a problem, but because of the heat, I have to leave my window open to get some ventilation.The smoke comes directly through my bedroom window. I"m sorry,but it really is strong,and I'm unable to sleep. Is there any possibility, that you could smoke on the other side of the house? anywhere that wouldn't blow it my way? "If you could, at least till it cools off","I would really appreciated it" D.,You wouldn't have had any arguments from me. You can't expect your neighbors to read your mind. They don't know theres a problem, till you speak to them.I might add, that alot of smokers,who are in the process of trying to quit,begin by refraining smoking in the house.This automatically cuts back on the amount of smoking,because its less convienant having to go outside.Your impatience,and rude behavior,during a stressful time,when they may have been attempting to try and break an addiction has more than likely added to their frustration.Like anyone,trying to wean themselves off a drug,it helps to have support,and while I am not suggesting,intervention or getting out your pom poms and leading the neighborhood in cheers,its to your advantage,to show a little more tact in this situation. You started off on a bad note, You can only hope, that they are more mature, and forgiving in nature, and will consider your request,as it is (NOT illegal to smoke on your own property) When that day comes, they will have to make tobacco illegal. I wish you the best. J.

I really hate smoke too! A friend of mine had a similar problem and she tried talking to her neighbors and it seemed to escalate the problem even more (she even complained to the HOA and got a letter of complaint filed against them). As you said smokers are very defensive. She said that she bought fans to put in front of her window and patio doors so when they smoked she just turned on the fans (she left the fan on at night in the window). Funny thing is she said that once she stopped complaining about it and slamming windows etc, the neighbors seemed to smoke less! I wish you luck!

Hi D.,
I'm a smoker and so is my hubby---we smoke outside and when I'm in the bedroom and he's on the patio smoking it comes right in----he's just moves over and it no longer comes in.

just go over there and kindly tell them what's occuring and that u feel awful about it--

They should respond well if u'r upfront and kind...u can also tell them u'r asthmatic---which is a little white one but may make it less insulting if they'r not so great neighbors....

lj

Maybe you could tell them that you are highly allergic to cig smoke. Don't make it seem like they are bad people for smoking, just tell them it's a health issue. Explain that your bedroom window is there. Maybe they don't realize your so close.

Good luck ! I know this must be tough for you!

My best advice is to follow some of the others - put a fan blowing outwards in your window. It would be best to try talking to them, but if you don't get along, it most-likely won't help. Yes, it is their right to smoke at their house, but they probably don't realize that it travels into your window and bothers you. Hopefully it is not that they don't care. Try and see if the fan works!

Hi D., smokers are some of the rudest people in the world, they don't care about their owm health why would they worry about anyone elses, and second hand smoke is the unhealiest. I would let them know in a kind neighborly way that when they smoke it comes through your windows, and sometimes wakes you up out of a sound sleep, not to mention how un healthy it is for you and your family. If they don't fix the problem call your local police department and see if anything can be done. You can't tell them they can;t smoke on their own property, but you can expect them to fix the problem if it is coming through your window, in the mean time here is what you do, put a fan on to keep you cool at night but put anothrr fan facing the window so it blows the smoke back out,, I had to do that when our neighbors accross the street would smoke pot, my whole living room smelt like pot and I'm a home daycare, I faced a fan towards the security door to push the smell back out, it helped a little, but it came through the door and my windows. Hope this helps. J. L.

Yuck! Disgusting!
And no, you should not have to buy any fans etc to disguise the smell.
You did noy say if you are renting or own your place?
If you rent, take it up with your landlord, they will deal with it. Most landlords do not allow smoking on their properties.
If you own....well, it sound like you live real close to eachother. Do you have a HOA (Home Owners Association) that you could contact? If so, they could come up with a solution of telling everyone in the complex about the problem (you wouldn't be singled out)
Also, check out this page on the No Smoker organization.
http://www.no-smoke.org/pdf/smokernextdoor.pdf
It is horrible, I hate smoke.
If nothing else, write a letter, that way you don't have to face them.
Good Luck!!!!!

I agree with Kelly... I'd make something up like say you (or your spouse/child(ren) have asthma... Maybe that'll get a better reaction than the swearing & slamming, which would probably just make them do it more.

Could you get a fan and try putting it in the window blowing the smokey air back out? I don't know if it would work, but I'd try anything! That must be awful.

I agree with Kelly... bring up that it is a health condition/allergy for you... and that you are not critiquing their "habit" but... for health sake....and that you can't possibly just keep your bedroom window closed with the heat and what not and the wind current just so happens to sweep right into your bedroom.

Then, where does your Hubby have his cigars???? Hopefully, the neighbors don't see you critiquing "them" and then see your own Husband smoking his cigars..... oops.

try to put on a "warm" face & voice when approaching them... first appearances can make all the difference in a conversation.

I really wish you luck with this...