Getting Almost 9 Month Old to *Sleep Through the Night*

Updated on February 23, 2009
J.H. asks from La Salle, MN
15 answers

Hi. I love looking at all the advice that people have and I've found some on this site that have been helpful for me. My question maybe a fairly simple one, but I couldn't find another question similar enough for me, so sorry for this sounding like a repeat.

My little boy turns 9 months on the 22. We have only three bedrooms in our house and he has been sharing our room since he was born. He's been in a crib since a few weeks old. Before that he slep in a bassinet. At his six month appointment the doctor told me that he should be night weaned by 9 months. He isn't and I'm worried about what she'll say. He has been exclusively breastfed and at six months was introduced to solids. He's been good on the solids, to the point that he doesn't really take a bottle or sippy from his daycare. I work as a paraprofessional at the local high school and teach an afterschool class so he's at daycare from 7:15 until about 5 somedays. I start 7th grade softball at the end of March where I'll be gone until 5 or later.

I know that a lot of people swear by the "cry it out" method, but how am I supposed to do that when he shares the room with us?

This is our usual night routine:
1. Take a bath and play.
2. We may read a book and cuddle or else we just cuddle.
3. Then he nurses to sleep.

He's been really, really good about that. (Last night was an awful night for us for some reason. I think it's because he now has a cold and has been congested and sneezes out "green" mucus.)

Other than last night he would usually sleep until about 3 a.m. (going down at around 8:30/9). He was getting up at midnight, but I was able to give him the pacifer to comfort himself. Now for the past month it feels like, the pacifier isn't working at all! I can't get him to put himself back to sleep because he will just start screaming louder to the point that neither my husband nor I can go back to sleep.

I know that he has been cutting teeth-- none have popped through yet-- very close though and he's had another cold mid-January.

Will this pass and he go back to sleeping for at least 6 hours straight sometime soon? I need to sleep again!! :)

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So What Happened?

We went in for our checkup on Friday and the doctor didn't even ask if he was sleeping through the night! I think she knew. Anyway, I've taken what you've all said and have applied bits and pieces. He slept through the night from 9:45-5 on Friday night, got up at 2 on Saturday and wouldn't go to sleep until Mommy submitted and nursed at 2:45 and then last night (Sunday) was up more often again. I think it didn't help that we were shopping all day. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. It's nice know that there are other mom's who have breast-fed babies that still are getting up in the night and that my little guy isn't unusual!

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T.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Teething is tough! When they wake up in pain, it's hard to go back to sleep. I would use a little baby orajel on the gums and give a dose of tylenol. Worked for my DD - good luck.

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M.I.

answers from Duluth on

your doctor needs to butt out, to put it simply.

my son night nursed until he was between 15-17 months old. there is NOTHING wrong with this!!! if you want to keep doing what you are doing, just have confidence that you are doing what you should do as a parent; you are trusting YOUR instincts and YOUR child!!! theres nothing better than that!

i am SO HAPPY to hear he is sleeping in your room!! my son is almost 27 months and he still sleeps in his crib in our room! we are happy with the situation, it doesnt make him wake up more often or at all really, he wakes when my husband gets up at 6ish am, and he usually will either lay with me in bed until 8 (or so, depending on when i need to get up) or he will go back to sleep until then. when it coms to bedtime or nap time, he goes right down, and evn times we think he could stay up later with us or something, he is ready to go to bed, gets his snuggle bear and his nuk and get snuggly and sleepy. its like clockwork.

what i would encourage you to do is become confident enough to either tell your doctor to shove it and find another doctor, or simply state that how you are parenting is working for you, and he/she should just back off.
sometimes the medical community does NOT know best. its MUCH better to listen to your instincts and your heart than ANYONE else.
to tell you the truth, solids are NOT nutritionally needed until after a year old. the only reason for giving babies solids at all is to get them used to the texture. if he doesnt take a bottle at day care, this is ok. as long as hes healthy and growing and all of that. breastfeeding when you are with him is so awesome, and im SO HAPPY to know someone else out there is so happy to nurse their son! :D :D :D

as far as sleep, babies arent programmed to sleep well. this is ok too. like i said, my son wasnt night weaned until 15-17 months, and he wasnt sleeping through the night then either, but he would usually sleep 730 - 1, 2, 3 am, and we would both go back to sleep nursing. :P it was so fantastic! i feel so great about it. :D dont let this doctor get you down. it does NOT matter what they say about it, you are the mom, you have the instincts, you have to make the choice.

im just so passionate about this! i want to encourage you to just keep doing what you are doing. there is NO RULE about night nursing, or nursing either!

i think a good resource for you is www.askdrsears.com
when NO ONE ELSE was supporting my choices with my son, dr sears was. im telling you, the more nursing, the better. the night nursing is no different, and it isnt a bad thing, it isnt wrong, it doesnt need to stop unless YOU want it to. you will sleep better with your son there, and you will get right back to sleep if you just latch him on and go to sleeP! :P its the awesomest feeling and the best thing i ever did. i dont regret one minute of it.

my doctor was kind enough to pretty much stay out of my choices where that was concerned. they would ask if we were still nursing, but they NEVER told me i had to stop, they remained neutral, but i spose it was because i was so confident about it, and so matter of fact - i just told them what we were doing, (and sometimes i even lied, they were always concerned that he was sleeping through the night or in his own bed, and you know what? thats none of their business, nor is it their concern. so i just lied i guess. i was confident that what i was doing was best for me and my son!!! my husband wasnt always on board with it either, but he trusts me, and he sees how happy our son is.... how can you mess with a happy kid?!!?! :D :D :D

anyway, just keep doing what you are doing. if you are uncomfortable, check around for another doctor. talk to other parents who you feel are more like you to see who their doctor is and what issues they have had with them, or whatever. we all need to be the kind of parent OUR CHILD needs, not the kind of parent the doctor wants us to be. if we are the parents our child needs and the one we want to be, we will be happier, more confident parents than if we follow someone else's advice.
wow.

just keep it up mom. do what you've got to do. your baby needs you, and he needs your milk, and there is NOTHING wrong with this! i wouldnt trade ONE sleepless or interrupted night for ANYTHING. i fulfilled my son's needs from birth, and thats whats important. not what the doctor thought about it, not what our parents thought about it, not what our friends thought about it. our friends are jealous of how sweet, connected, and loving our son is compared to theirs.... and im guaranteeing it was the way we parented him from day one.

so go mom! just keep up the good work!

and one more thing:

thank you for nursing. thank you for responding even at night when you are tired. thank you for loving me so much that you give of yourself to respond and nurse and love and take the time.....
love, your son

1 mom found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

Green mucus is a sure sign of a sinus infection, or at the least, sinusitis. I say to take him in to the doctor today and get him some antibiotics or whatever they do for that.

On another note, why on Earth would anyone expect your 9 month old to night-wean at only 9 months? That is a crazy expectation for any doctor to have and it is baffling to me that any doctor would expect this of an infant patient. I say get another doctor. Babies need what they need and you give it to them as they request it. Otherwise you end up with a needy toddler constantly regressing. It is simple attachment parenting, not rocket science. Nurse whenever it suits you and your baby!

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R.L.

answers from Fargo on

Hi J.!

I will just offer my humble opinion and offer some of my experience with our 14 month old. Fist of all, I used to swear by everything my doctor told me - drop the pacifier at 6 months, let my daughter cry it out rater than feed her in the middle of the night, etc. I did this until I had some frank conversations with my mom friends. You need to do what is best for your son - if he isn't ready to sleep through the night, letting him cry won't help that. It does improve, I promise...I was just patient, gave my daughter what she needed (without spoiling her) and now her sleep is so much better. Maybe he is teething....maybe he has an ear infection...maybe maybe maybe...those maybes made me not let my daughter just cry...you never know what is going on with these little darlings. Do what your instinct tells you - his (and your) sleep will get back on track. In the words of a good friend...."He won't be nursing, using his Nuk, or crying for a bottle in the middle of the night when he goes to college..."

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

We use the book Good Night, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She is known as the sleep lady and has been featured on Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc. She has a gentle method of getting kids on a good sleep schedule. She even has stuff in there about your little still being in your room and what to do about that. But I would say he doesn't know how to self soothe himself to sleep. Being that he nurses to sleep tells me that you are his lovey. Also his bedtime is too late he should be going down around 7. And the book doesn't make you have him cry it out. My son is 10 months and we used the book with him since birth and my daughter since she was 6 months. My 10 months old takes two naps a day and sleeps at night from 7-7. Just for an example. Hope this helps some.

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R.P.

answers from St. Cloud on

I'm sorry your Dr. pressured you; she of all people should know that all babies are different! Maybe yours won't sleep thru the night until 10 or 11 months! But maybe you can get him to sooner; I would try nursing him BEFORE you do your stories and cuddle time. Just about everything I read for my non-sleepers said they shouldn't fall asleep nursing b/c then they need you to go back to sleep if they wake in the middle of the night. I tired CIO with my first and I feel like it back fired majorly. So with my 2nd, I just went to her every time she cried. She has been sleeping through the night since about 9 months and I can't help but think it's because she knows I'm there for her if she needs me! Also, she was a light sleeper until I started supplementing formula just before bed time; like it seemed to fill her up more and for longer. Just a thought. Good luck; don't worry, sleep WILL come for you both! :-)

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G.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Having him in his own room is essential. You need good interrupted sleep, and at 9 months he doesn't need to get up at night. I also recommend the book Baby Wise. Saved us twice by getting us on a good sleeping/eating shedule. Our babies slept through the night at 5 weeks and 10 weeks using this method. It totally worked for us. Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

First let me say in my own opinion, i think that you should say when your son night weans not the Dr. My son made his own choice and started sleeping through the night(12 hours) at 7 months, which i have think is because 1) he was ready and 2) he had a stuffed animal as support, and comfort. until my son was 7 months he was awake every 1-2 hours at night nursing while sick and every 2-4 when not sick. Being sick and teething can make it worse and together i am sure are very hard on the whole family! My son was more comfortable in his own room at 2-3 months. i know that is an issue with other kids in the house. I would say have the older 2 share a room for a while but 12 is a time when girls need their own space. Being away from you during the day will make your son want more time with you when you are around, like at night. make sure he gets plenty of attention during your time together in the waking hours and maybe it will help him separate from you at night. If it is an option maybe even having the baby share a room with the 9 year old would help. I am sure you will get lots of advice on here and people will tell you many different things the bottom line is you need to take what people say and combine bits and pieces so that it fits your exact situation. YOU are the one that knows best. Even your Dr can tell what you should do but when it comes down to it you have to make the final decision, if it is what you feel comfortable with then it is the RIGHT decision for your family. Good Luck.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

Don't worry about it. It's normal for bf babies to not sleep through the night!!! If you're doc doesn't support you maybe you should find a different one that does....

My son was exclusively breastfed till 9 months where he started with a little baby food and graduated to table food within a couple weeks. He did NOT sleep through the night till he was 18 months old and I weaned him.

As for teething, have you tried Highlands Teething Tablets? They worked well for our daughter.

I would pull our son into bed with us and nurse him as I slept. When I would wake up again, I'd transfer him back to the crib if I was uncomfortable. Otherwise he'd just sleep with my husband and I (and our daughter...LOL.) Co-sleeping worked for us because he slept for much longer periods when he was next to me....

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C.P.

answers from Eau Claire on

I'm not sure what to say about the night weaning. My daughter is breastfed, but she started sleeping through the night at 17 days old and hasn't really nursed herself to sleep since she was probably two or three months old. That was all of her own direction - I didn't encourage one way or another. I just took my cues from her. We do a feeding before she goes to bed, but she stays awake for the whole thing. We do our book and cuddling after she nurses. I can tell you that when she's teething, she does not sleep well at night at all! I have found that giving her Hyland's Teething Tablets before she goes to bed helps her sleep better. Or if you're worried about tablets, you could use Gentle Naturals Teething Drops. Both are homeopathic and can be found at Target or Walmart. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Rapid City on

I personally don't think that "cry it out" is a good idea before the child is at least 12 months old. There are several things you can try though.

Get him out of your room at night. Nobody sleeps silently, and you and your husband might actually be disturbing the baby's sleep. Even if you have to put his crib out in the hallway, dining room or somewhere else unusual for awhile. If you want to night wean him, wait until he is 100% feeling well. Teething or an illness are not good times for changing his routine. My daughter is teething too, and Hyland's teething tablets seem to be helping her sleep better.

Don't worry what the doctor will say. Not every baby is ready to night wean at 9 months, and this really is not a medical issue anyhow. He may or may not need that 3a.m. feeding (could he be having a growth spurt?), but if you want to phase it out, try giving him water in a bottle. He may decide that a bottle of water isn't worth getting up for. You could try cuddling him (or if he'll insist on nursing, have your husband do it) for a minute or two and then put him back in his crib without feeding too.

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Every child is so different, so please don't listen to your doctor on this... not every child will fit into the cookie cutter mold, and if you try to force it you will only frustrate you and shaken his trust in you, making him MORE clingy and irritable.

My boys are polar opposites, have been since birth. My oldest was sleeping from 9pm-5am by 2mos old. My youngest woke to nurse at 4am until he was 14mos old, and hten one night he slept until 8am, nad did every night after that.

THsi phase will soon pass. If he's teething, ill, maybe he has an earache? Babies go through cycle after cycle, and the first year of life is one big rotating phase! LOL So if he's feeling crummy, he won't sleep well. But keep nursing him when he needs it, he's getting antibiodies and nutrients that are helping him fight off infection and keeping him well, especially this time of year.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Babies don't "grow up" on schedule! Do what is right for you and your son. There is no "right" timetable for sleeping or night feedings. If your doctor pressures you, find another one. My doctor never told me when to do what with my daughter (and I never asked him). Breastfed babies need a night feeding longer than bottle fed babies.

I breastfed my daughter at least once in the night until 11 months then bottle until 13 months then she suddenly didn't wake up for it any more.

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

Neither one of my children was allowed to cry it out and go to sleep.. I'm too much of a softy and can't handle hearing my baby cry for whatever reason. But... two things.
1. If the baby has "green mucus" he could have an infectiong going on that is causing him not to sleep well because most babies breathe out of their nose. Also a cold can develope into an ear infection which can cause great pain. Also.. I would push alot of fluid so help flush the virus or infection from his body. I would inform the day care that he needs more fluids he could be dehydrated.

2. It could also be that he needs more nutrition at bedtime other then your milk. Experience has proven to me that a little cereal & fruit 1/2 or so before bedtime will lengthen the amt of sleep he will get. A Full tummy will go along way to help sleep.

Also if he is cutting teeth he could be experiencing alot of pain at night. A half dose of tylenol or motrin could ease that pain and let both you get a good nights sleep.

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R.C.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have a little boy who is the same age and wakes almost every night at 3am. He similarly is cutting teeth and has had colds from just starting day care. I think that if your baby is having these kind of stressful things going on, perhaps right now is not the best time to wean. I actually asked my doc about it yesterday and she agreed. In times of stress, breastfeeding can be very soothing to babies. If I were you, I'd wait. Believe me, doctors are used to people not doing things as directed. Good luck!
Additionally, don't listen to the person who thinks that green mucous = bacterial infection. That is not true. As a health care provider I can tell you that color of mucous is not a good indicator for the need for antibiotics, and if it's not bacterial antibiotics won't help anyway.

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