Getting 3 Year Old to Sleep in Big Girl Bed

Updated on June 15, 2009
L.A. asks from Northfield, MN
6 answers

In December, we painted and decorated a new room--complete with a toddler bed--for my 3 year old daughter, so she'd move out of the nursery and make room for baby brother. She picked out the paint color, and the bedding. When the room was done, she didn't want to move into it. We didn't push moving her to the new room, and she kept saying she'd move when the baby came. Now, the baby is here, and 9 weeks later, she still wants to stay in the nursery, in the crib. I know we probably should have just made her move into the room back in December...but, we can't do anything about that now. The baby will soon be outgrowing the basinet, and I want to get him used to sleeping in the crib sooner than later. Any advice or tips that will help convince my daughter to move to the big girl bed will be much appreciated. THANKS!

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D.R.

answers from Sheboygan on

You may be asking too much from your daughter. For some kids just getting out of the crib can be tough enough. You want your daughter to leave her crib and her room all at the same time. She is having a hard time with these big changes. Can you try to ease her into them? Maybe put the crib in her new room for a week or two before asking her to transfer to the toddler bed? Or take down the crib, put it completely out of sight, then put the toddler bed in the nursery and have her get used to that before moving her into her new room. Spend a lot of time with her in the new room doing quiet things like reading books, listening to music, coloring, etc. to get her used to it. Be patient with her. The nursery and the crib are all that she has ever known and she feels safe there.
Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Madison on

I didn't read all the responses, but I would take down the crib and put it away while she adjusts to her new toddler bed/room.
Not sure how quickly this all needs to happen, but I left them both up (crib and toddler bed) for a while. He napped in the toddler bed and slept in the crib at night. Then I took out the crib, then moved rooms. Then put the crib back up. Maybe seems like alot of work, but so is a crying toddler every nap and night.
Good luck.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

I am always amazed on how hard it is for some kids to move into their own room or change into a toddler bed from a crib. I never had trouble with my kids moving from the crib to the twin size and I can't explain why I didn't. I think with your daughter, if her new room is farther away then the nursery, she might be a bit nervous about that. Is there room in the nursery to fit her toddler bed in with the crib? You may try letting her sleep in the toddler bed in the nursery and don't give her the choice of the crib. If the crib matteress and the toddler bed matteress is the same size, switch them so she is on the same matteress. If not just let her see the baby is now sleeping in the crib and she gets this nice cool new bed. Maybe even putting a bed tent up to make it more fun. This also could be her way of fighting against a new baby taking mommy's time so make sure you have some one on one times with her. Tea parties in her new room would be a good way to start. Remember also that in different rooms there is different sounds, different lighting and different smells. Even with me at my age when I sleep in the extra room when my granddaughter comes to stay with me, it is so strange and I feel backwards at times. This may be overwhelming to a 3 year old.

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K.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

The best way of handling this I think would have been to take down the crib back in December to emphasize that it is no longer her room and she only has one bed- her toddler bed in the new room. And to praise her like crazy for being a big girl and sleeping in a big girl bed. But you already know that. Now it is kind of a tricky situation. Do you have a pack and play? If so, one thing you could do is put the baby down for naps in her new room. Explain to her that the baby is getting bigger and needs a bigger place to sleep. I would also mention..."Just like she did, she used to be so tiny like her brother and look at what a big girl she is now!" Keep mentioning that she is a big girl and a big sister and that she can do so many big girl things now. Help her list all of the things she can do that she couldn't do when she was a baby, and how proud you are. Having the baby in her room during the day might encourage her to take ownership of it, and "defend her territory" from the newcomer. This could backfire however since the baby is so new to the family and she is still adjusting, she may resent him for taking over and changing everything, as well as her space. You would have to take extra special care to keep a lot of things the same in your house, and make sure you have time alone together where she has your full attention to consistently let her know that even though her brother needs you a lot right now that she still means the world to you and that you appreciate her.

Another thing that might help is getting one of those tents that go over toddler beds, like a canopy type thing. Moving into a bed with no big sides and without an enclosed feeling might seem scary. Ask her what she likes best about the nursery, what are her favorite things about that room? It could be something that you could recreate in the new room to make it more comfortable.

You could also try having a few special "Girls only sleepovers" in there with her. Talk it up, and then sleep in there with her for a night or two. If you are breastfeeding this might be hard to do if your daughter is a light sleeper...but you could at least pretend to sleep and then leave the room when she is out cold. If you are formula feeding your son, have your husband take over for those couple of nights that you are in with your daughter. This will give you both some special time together and also get her used to being in the toddler bed. Another thing I would recommend if you haven't already done so is move her toys into the new room, and spend time playing in there together. Hang up any drawings she does on the wall in the new room. Put her laundry in there, and generally treat it as if she were already sleeping in there.

Bribery often works...think of some big thing she would love, and tell her if she moves into the big girl room she will get it. You could also give her small rewards for every night she sleeps in there...stickers are a classic way to record progress. Decorate a poster with her that says "Katie can do it!" Or "Katie is becoming a big girl" or something silly like that and for each night she sleeps in there she gets to put a different sticker up there. And for each 15 stickers that are up there, she gets a reward [like another sleepover with mommy].

If she still doesn't want to go in there, you might have to make the new room the new nursery for now...even if there are girly colors in there your son certainly will not care. Eventually once she adjusts to the new baby and feels secure again, she may change her mind about it.

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S.K.

answers from Eau Claire on

With most young kids its all about having fun. I would suggest trying to make it seem less like something you are trying to make her do and more like an adventure. Possibly calling it camping out in the pink room (whatever color). You can rent a kids movie that has something to do with camping and then say that looks like fun we should camp out tonite. Then sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor next to her. Bring flashlights, maybe make a pretend campfire, and stuff whatever you can think of like it is camping. She will probably start begging you to camp out in that room after that. If that isn't something she would like pick another subject pretending it is a spaceship, hotel, or her own house and set up a tea party. Whatever happens be relaxed and try to have fun with it - kids can tell when you are trying to get them to do something and when you're flustered about it they can get scared and associate that with the subject or place. Good Luck!

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

It took about a week for my daughter to get used to a toddler bed, she was younger and not as opinionated yet but it took me laying down with her on the floor of her room to wait until she fell asleep before I snuck out of the room. It got better and I eventually did not need to lay down, and then could just say goodnight, love you, and walk out. I pushed the toddler bed into a corner of the room, and used a bed rail on the side to help her feel enclosed like the crib. Try to move as many things that smell like the nursery into her room to make it as fun as you can. Oh another thing I did when I was pregnant with my 2nd was I moved bedtime booktime routine into my daughters room and read her books while she was laying down in her big girl bed, told her a story and prayers the whole 15 minute wind down routine in her bed. Any transition is hard when they don't want to do it, don't feel guilty because she wants to still be the focus, she will be just fine eventually.

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